Monday, September 21

Mahlatse Ramatseba

Diary of a Single Mum Episode 71

Episode 71
Fear looks down, worries look around and love look ahead.
Three weeks after we buried Joy, I found myself in Nkhatabay attending Beatrice's wedding. In life there is a time for everything. One minute we are crying, the next we are smiling. All these two times help to bring out the best out of our lives.
I was only told of the wedding a week just before it happened and had to make haste arrangements for me to go. Seriously I felt so out of place, like an intruder. The wedding felt like that of a friend's friend. Everybody else looked to be in the best of moods and well dressed while I felt grumpy and at a wrong place. The activities seemed to go on without me. You know that feeling when everybody around you seem to know what is next to be done while you wait to be told what to do or wonder what somebody will do so you might follow suit.
what irked me most was seeing Beatrice visibly happy at the expense of another woman's misery. She was smiling at the world as if she was the only woman ever to get married.
Don't get me wrong but being another wife to his already existing wives, wasn't my idea of a happy marriage. No matter how much in control the man might seem to be, he still finds problems in one way or the other in running his house. The way I know a woman's heart, especially if that woman is me, the jelousy that could rise upon sharing my man it's something I can't contain. If a man takes another wife because there's a problem or weakness in you, it's no longer about you as a woman but it's about him to change and mend his ways by stopping to be greed and acting like he wants to own every woman on two legs. Stop blaming yourself and making lame excuses for him so that by the time he is lowered in the grave, he leaves behind a legacy of having many wives and children who he couldn't afford to educate, clothe and feed properly. Wives and Children who live their everyday lives competing and fighting for love and attention of one man who seem to only be selfish but want to show the world that he can have many women at his disposal.
If he can't accept you with all your flaws, imperfections and weaknesses, what makes him think you can accept his weaknesses and mistakes without a fight? 
On the eve of the wedding,I couldn't contain myself but went to Beatrice and gave her a piece of my mind. She knew that I didn't approve of all this but she simply didn't care what I thought. At that moment I could have happily exchanged her for another sister too bad we don't choose our relatives unless we drain all the blood and DNA.
It was already too late for her to adhere to my advice because she had already chosen her path. It was only my prayer that in her quest and thirst to get married, she wouldnt end up miserable. Chances of a happily-ever after were one to ten still more I didn't bargain for it.
I didn't tell her more words than to say I hoped she knew what she was doing. My mother got hold of this and I got insulted and misinterpreted as a jelous person who was frustrated because being the elder sister I should have been the one walking down the aisle. If walking down the isle with all the gabbage, then thank you very much I didn't want a complicated life.
I just wanted to get back to my kids as soon as this mess was over because I couldn't take another minute of her insults.
Just as I got out from talking to my mother, I got out from my mother's room to go back to my own room when I bumped into somebody ...
"Wangu..."

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