Monday, October 5

Mahlatse Ramatseba

Diary of a restless soul Insert 59

Insert 59
The following day my alarm woke me up as usual.
I went to take a shower and wore my school uniform.
And that day i actually wore a skirt,
just for control.
Well i looked good in that grey school skirt i just hardly wore it because i didn't like it,
but this day i opt to try something different.
So i wore the skirt and my short sleeved shirt,
my white pull over with a matric emblem.
my white short socks.
And my maroon matric tie.
I tied my hair into a neat bun.
I looked good and neat.
i brushed my teeths and i went to rinse in the bathroom.
i found my mom vomiting in the toilet.
As she saw me coming.
She quickly wiped her mouth with her arm and flashed the toilet.
Mom: owh molo ntombi so you are up already.
Me: ooh jah of'cause i am up.
Or you thought that you will sneak out again without being spotted by anybody like yesterday.
Mom: owh nana i am sorry about yesterday.
Infact i am sorry about my behaviour this last two days.
I don't know what got over me,
its like i am possesed.
but i will never touch alcohol ever again in my life i promise.
I'm sorry to disappointed you sana lwami.
No child ever deserves to see her parent like that.
Owh my god i am turning to nomonde.
She was like this when i got married to her ex husband.
Me: mom please save me the speech i would be late for school.
Anyway i need some pocket money.
Mom: but i thought you had money to last you for the whole week.
So what pocket money are you talking about now.
Me: yeah i did had money for the week untill you decided to get yourself so drunk that you couldn't even walk.
And i had to pay the guys who dragged you home last night.
Mom: owh ohk then,
(she searched the clothes she was wearing).
"aibo did you take anything from me when i got home last night" she said.
Me: no infact the was nothing to take,
because you had nothing on you.
Mom: aibo my purse.
Me: what purse what are you talking about.
Mom: before i went to zakes tarven,
i first went to the mall to withdraw the grocery money that luyolo deposited last week.
I thought i was gonna give it to you and mandy to buy what we need for the month.
But now the purse is not in my pocket.
It means my purse and my bank cards and the money is all gone.
Me: what!!!! How much was it.
Mom: R3500 it was the grocery money.
Me; owh bawo.
So mom you used our grocery money to buy alcohol.
What's wrong with you.
So how are we supposed to go on the whole month without food.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU MOM!!!.
Mom: i must have lost it xolo (sorry) nana.
Me: no mom you don't have to be sorry you just have to provide that money.
Because we need it.
Ugh!!! You are behaving like an ungrateful brat right now.
You know that you are not working but here you are wasting money like its christmas.
My cheeck felt hot in an instant.
I slowely rubbed it after realising that my mom just slapped me.
Mom: you will not talk to me like that.
I know it was irresponsible for me to misuse and loose that money.
And i am sorry,
it was a mistake.
And it will never happen again but you don't have to disrespect me i am still your mother.
You will watch your tongue when you talk to me.
Me: no mom a mistake its what happens by accident.
What you did is not a mistake.
You wilingly went to the tarven with the money,
what did you think was gonna happen.
You can hit me again mom
but i am putting it to you right now that you are right you are irresponsible and you are also so selfish.
(my mom rose her hand as to slap me again but she stopped herself half way.
I didn't even move an inch.
I was actually waiting for her to slap me again).
She lowered her hand.
And tears streamed down her cheecks.
I felt bad for making her cry.
And i felt bad for saying those harsh words to her.
I really didn't mean to make her cry.
Despite all this drama i still loved her,
after all she was my mother.
She quickly wiped her tears but they couldn't stop falling.
I badly wanted to tell her that i was sorry but i couldn't get the words out of my mouth.
Because no matter how bad it was seeing my mom cried.
The fact that she drinks alcohol clouded my reasonning skills.
I quickly rinsed my mouth and i left her in the bathroom washing her face.
I got in my room took my school bag and left for school.
And atleast i still had R10 left on me so it was better than nothing.
Mandy must have called luyolo and told her about the grocery money.
Because he did come with a grocery for us.
And we told him to deposit any money to mandy's account onwards because my mom was not to be trusted with money.
And yes!! My mom never stopped drinking infact she got worse.
She would be sorry in the morning when she is sober.
Her apologies would be so sencere
she kept saying that it wasn't her fault that she gets drunk.
And then before you know it she would just vanish and come back drunk again.
it was now like a song on a repeat mode.
I got used to our home situation so i never let it disturbed my oncoming final exams.

Loading...
Subscribe to this Blog via Email :