Friday, October 9

Mahlatse Ramatseba

A Walk On Love's Dark Side Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9
I spent the remainder of the day in Mordecai's room. We were just lying In bed talking about random stuff.
Whispering sweet nothings to each other's ears.
Mordecai: I'm in love with you, I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
I burst out laughing. The thing about Mordecai is he made me laugh easily. He was a crazy dude, even crazy is an understatement. he was the cuckooiest Cuckoo I know. Mad as a march hare.
Me: have you been cramming this stuff? You are crazy you know that!
Mordecai: anything to make my baby smile.
Mordecai could say anything whether it made sense or not. I loved his accent and I would always tell him to keep talking while I smiled.
Mordecai:I think its high time i tell you about my family....... When my mom died I kind of lost it. Sometimes people look at you as if you have it all not knowing that inside you, there is too much void that even yourself can't even fill.

This was the talk I wanted to have with him. I wanted to know the real Mordecai behind the bubbly mask he always put on.
Mordecai: my dad has been a rich guy from the get go, at the age of 20 he had started a business in Property development. At 25 he had expanded his business in other countries and was making a lot of money. I grew with a silver spoon in my mouth but there wasn't much love. My dad was a busy man and my mom used to be the housewife who did nothing but shop in expensive boutiques all around the world. She wasn't there for me and Roger . We were raised by nannies and as I grew older I realized it wasn't right. I missed on a lot of stuff with my parents. My dad never got to see me play my first cricket and soccer games as he was busy doing God knows what, mom on the other hand will tell you how stressed she was because her brand new louis vitton dress wasn't fitting her right. I had everything I wanted but my parents never gave me their time. My nanny left us when I was jut 11. That was bad enough, but worst for Roger, he was still young. After that my mom brought in nanny after another because they never lasted. At 13 I could see my mom wasn't right but she had a way of hiding it. At 14 she told us that the doctor has told her she only had six months to live. She had stage 4 pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to the liver. The news was devastating to say the least. Her pancreatic cancer was particularly aggressive, and the outlook was very grim. We didn't know what to do. We were frozen in time.
My mother did the chemotherapy and radiation treatment but they were useless. I was angry at everything, angry at her for not consulting the doctors early when she had those symptoms, angry at the fact that she was leaving us in just 6 months. The money that my dad had couldn't save her. By the time she got seriously sick, I didn't want to leave her side. We went to see the doctor with her every time and did all that they asked us to do but things were just going from bad to worse. The greatest thing from these is she surpassed the 6 months given to her and lived two more years. Then she had a request that we come live in south africa so that she could die and be buried in a land where her mother was born. We never protested. That's why we are here. We came in the middle of the year. My dad wasn't that guy who was always busy anymore. We had a great family time during my mom's last days. We did stuff together. My mom was trying by all means to make up for the time she missed with us. I think she felt guilty and I tried to tell her it was nothing. She never stopped apologizing and my dad never stopped apologizing to her and us too. Then she died, few days before Christmas. I was defeated in all possible ways. I couldn't do a thing. My dad tried to be strong for us but he too was weak. For the first time I saw him cry like a baby.
Mordecai's face was filled with tears. I couldn't help my tears flowing, i hugged him and there was silence . I could hear the pounding of his heart. After what seem like a long moment. I broke the silence
Me: I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. I really am.
Mordecai: its ok, life goes on. you need to meet my dad. He will like you.
Me: no man that's too early.
Mordecai: whenever you are ready. My dad is cool now, we talk unlike before. He has time for us as a family, we eat dinner and breakfast together.
Me: I'm glad things are better now.
Mordecai: and know that I dated all those girls trying to fill the void in me, but it was useless. But now that I have found you . I know great things are coming. Don't cheat on me and I won't as well.
We talked more about his childhood and mine, then he accompanied me to my room. We kissed each other goodnight and he left. After few minutes there was a knock, I didn't hesitate but went to open. It was Ayanda and he just barged in.
Ayanda: why haven't you been picking up my calls and answering my messages.
Me: I'm not in the mood Ayanda, get out of my room before I curse the living daylights out of you.
Ayanda: I didn't meant to do all those things that you saw, I was just stressed.
Ayanda was a chapter I wanted to close and not talk about. Why did this guy think I could forgive him after having a threesome?
Ayanda: those girls just tempted me to do it..
Me: Do you know how much I'm interested in hearing your stories?.........Nada. Get out.
Ayanda: wait um....
Christy and Nandipha enters. I was really glad to see them because I badly wanted to get rid of Ayanda.
Ayanda: I will call you (he left)
Christy: don't tell me you are doing both Ayanda and Mordecai. Girl you are bad.
We both laughed. Christy sat on a chair while nandi took the bed.
Christy: I have heard about what happened between you and Mordecai. Details please. How was the sex?
Me: huh christy you have no chill. You too Nandipha!
Nandipha: hahaha I couldn't hold it anymore. Christy always said you two belonged together. It happened so she had to know.
Me: well it was great, like more than I expected hey. I didn't think he was that good.
(They both laughed again.)
Nandipha: I told you christy! He has to be good.
Me : you girls are crazy....I just hope he doesn't break my heart hey. He can't be trusted.
Christy: don't fret the small stuff , problems are supposed to be there but Mordecai is a catch. I tell you.
Nandipha: he wasn't just spoiling you for nothing girl. He knew he was gonna get some.
Me: lol ya'all should leave ,I need to rest.
Christy: if Mordecai is coming just tell us. He might be coming for it everyday from now on.
Me: lol never, just leave!!
When the girls left, I called my mom, I haven't called this woman in a long time. I certainly was giving her and hubby some space.
My mom was telling me about the house. They were almost done with it. I was just glad I wouldn't be sharing a room with anyone. I didn't get along with step dad's elder daughter Linda. She was rude. You don't need wikipedia to tell you that someone doesn't like you. I tried to be nice but she wasn't interested. I hate living in a place where I always have to watch my back. She was a self absorbed, dramatic narcistic personality disorder sufferer. She was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
we bade our goodbyes and hung up.
Another call got in, it was Mordecai.
Me: hey babe
Mordecai: I miss you already, how's my baby doing?
Me: I'm great,just wanna sleep.
Mordecai: well I have something to tell you!
I was hoping he wasn't dumping me already or telling me he was indeed Hiv positive or any heartbreaking news I couldn't take.
Me: what?
Mordecai: its good news, I want us to find an apartment in Rondebosch or Claremont or wherever you want then we can move in together!
Me: say what??
That was supposed to be a thought and not spoken out loud. This guy was crazy. We didn't even have a day dating and he was already talking about moving in together. Vat n' sit. Who does that?
I was not signing up for an everyday sex. I couldn't deal. Yet again ,I didn't want to hurt his feeling after what he told him.
I was in a crossroads!

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