Mahlatse Ramatseba

Ndebele jokes

01 umemba ebetshaya'ebuya endlini evela emsebenzini umfazi eleskomba ....umfazi wezwa igedi livulwa weqa leskomba laso sazama ukugqoka kanti okungumfazi sokuleplani kudala kwatshela isikomba ukuthi "wena ungagqoki ngena espeya sabantwana" iskomba laso sangena chop chop umfazi walandel a lengubo enhle wembathisa iskomba sakhe...isimanga yikuthi wamtshiya izibunu ziphandle egcekeni wasitshela isikomba ukuthi singakhulumi njalo singambathi lezibunu...usamfana wangena wahle watshelwa ukuthi umamazala usespeya sabantwana uyagula utshiywe ngosbare babuyela...."ngcono likhulumise umama espeya baba lingakabuyeli emsebenzini baba"..usamfana wayakhona espeya wahle wathola umnyango uvuliwe wathi ethi uyabingelela wahle wahlangana lezibunu wabuyela masinya...uyambuza umfazi "limkhulumisile na umama" kwaba nzima ukuthi umemba atsho ukuthi uthole izibunu ziphandle wazwakala ethi "yah umama akezwa kuhle lamuhla sibili, hambelala laye espeya mina ngizalala labantwana emain bedroom"

02 2.UMavuso wayeseziphekela yedwa lokumfana kwakhe umaMlilo epheka labantwabakhe yiyo impilo eyayisiphilwa lapha ekhaya. Kwakhasakhasa okuSgubhu kwaya kwabambelela kwakhulanyana. 0makhelwane babefisa ukumgcina uSgubhu kodwa uSkhotheni wayengafuni lakho wayecabanga ukuthi omunye umuntu wayengeke amphathe ngendlela yena ayemphethe ngayo umtanakhe. Nanko kusiya kuzamanyana ukuhamba kwaze kwaya kwaqina .Abanye abantwana nxa beqala ukufunda ukukhuluma baqala ngokuthi mama uSgubhu okwakhe kwaba lusizi wayezambiza lowo mama embonaphi emazelaphi ngakho waqala ngokuthi Baba. Baqinisile ma bethi intandanenhle ngekhothwa ngunina ngabe phela wayekhona unina wayezamnika uthando njengabobonke omama kubantwababo. Bonke abantu bakuleyondawo babekubona lokho umaMlilo ayekwenza uSkhotheni lomntanakhe kodwa bafele ngaphakathi njengephilisi besabe ukumkhuza ngoba lalingakutshonela emini. UmaMlilo wayethi angakukhomba ngomunwe kwakumele uyelabhela ngembuzi nxa kungenjalo lalikutshonela usukwelamathonga. Ngelinye ilanga uSgubhu esekhulakhulile wayeselanda iminyaka eyisithupha esebonabona nje okunye besehlathini loyise wezwakala uyise ethi ;"mfanawami Sgubheqolo sondela lapha:"wasondela uSgubhu ecabanga nje ukuthi uyise uyamdlalisa njengenjayelo.;"Wamgaxa okungamaketane okuncane kwegolide okubili okuhlala entanyene wasethi ';"Mfanawami lezizinto ziligugu uzigcine kahle uzifihle zizakusiza empilweni yizinto ezidulayo lami ngaziphiwa ngabelungu ababezothenga inkomo kimi namuhla ngizinika wena ;" Khifikhifi-iiiiiiiiii nguSkhotheni esehlisa izinyembezi sokusala ukuthi azibambe :"Waseqhubeka :"mfanawami mina sengikukhulisile usukhulile nxa usungaka ngoba mina akusensukuzatshwala ukuthi ngilale umzimba wami ngiyawuzwa uyangitshela;"Hayi zehla kuSkhotheni lapho ke loSgubhu zehla lakuye phelamadoda ukubona indoda ende eyayingangoSkhotheni ikhala kwakuzwisa ubuhlungu kakhulu. Bakhala uyise lomntwana kwaswelakala ozathulisa omunye . Waphinde waqonqosela ukuthi lezizinto ayemnike zona azifihle zingabonwamuntu zizomsiza ekukhuleni. ":Hayi baba ngizalala lawe angifuni ukulala ngedwa ungangitshiyi ngizahamba lawe baba ungangitshiyi ngokuSgubhu kukhala ngemva kokuqonqosela kukayise kwazise kwakuzwile kodwa kungazwisisanga *asihlangane kusasa.

03 uNgadi wayethi angahlala akhumbule abazalibakhe zehle izinyembezi. Mina ngendlela engangibona ngayo lengqondo yayisithathela kude into ayengayikhohlwa yikuthandaza ngoba ngikhumbula ngobunye ubusuku wathandaza waze wakhala inyembezi ethi kungcono Nkosi uthathe umphefumulo ngoba sengizwile. Wathi eqeda lapho wathi UJEHOVA UNGUMALUSI WAMI. "Sawubona mfowethu;:kubingelela omunye udade eqondise kuNgadi"kwangathi ulahlekile kanti futhi ungathi ngiyakufanisa, awusuki koGodlwayo omnyama umahlabayithwale nje wena?"Kuqhuba lodade" ."Ungifanisa lobani owangaphi kwakoGodlwayo?"NguNgadi esondela secabanga ukuthi sethole umuntu ozomlayela uNgiga."Mina ngibuya eFilabusi eSanali kanti igama lami ngingu PERCY MPOFU kodwa sengikhohliwe lapho engakubona khona"kutsho lodade owayefake izicathulo ezinde lesiketi esifana lokwangaphezulu,l o noma kanjani ungumongikazi nanoma kuthiwa into ziyafana nguNgadi ezama ukubuyisa ingqondo ecabangisisa kahle. Wezwa kubhakuza esifubeni uNgadi ngokukhulunyiswa ngumuntu obonakala ephezulu ngokwempilo kantifuthi lomuntu ungathi uyamazi. Bamba nansi I 10rand uzathenga isinkwa sizokhuluma kwelinye ilanga mangabe ngiphinda ngikubona"' wabonga wangaqedi uNgadi lomuntu owayezihambela wadlula kanjalo wathi ujahe emsebenzini. Wathenga sona isinkwa wadinga lamanzi wanatha wazizwa eqina wathi ukubamba ivesi lakhe ngenhliziyo qede wazulazula phela bathi oluzulayo luyadobha. Kulamalanga wayesehambela endaweni zase Beria ehamba ngo Abel isitalada athi engafika kwenye indawo mangabe usulanda u Tudhohope kulendawo okuphekwa khona amapapa afike acele ukubagezisela izitsha lamabhodo bamnike ipapa ayelala ngesibomvu. Lapho ayehamba khona wayesehamba evule amehlo ethi uzabona uNgiga kodwa lutho Ngiga ukubonakala phela abantu banengi egoli kanti futhi wawungeke usamazi uNgadi wena ngendlela ayeseyiyona.***siyazigoqa lana namhlanje***asihlangane ngoluzayo....iNkosi ibe nani buthongo obuhle kininonke.
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