Mahlatse Ramatseba

Xhosa jokes

 
YEAH!!!!!! kwakukho omnye umzi ke ekwakuthukwa gqitha kuwo sebeyiqhelile. kwabona nje sebebizana ngeminqundu,omisunu ndibalani na!!!!!.. Hayike umama wakhona wacawa yena ngoku kule cawa yakhe kufuneke kuze umfundisi......... hayke weza ngenye imini......phambi kokuba ezile umama loo uye wayala abantwana ukuba bangathuki ngoba uyeza umfundisi ......kwavunyelwana ke. Umama"yenzani into yokuphunga nina" wayenza ke lomntana . wayigalela kwi coffee mugs wabeka nesosi wayisa.... hayke xa ebenikeza caba umfundisi akayithathi isosi lee nanko ke umsila uphushuruka ........ "kutheni ungayithathi nje isosi?" hay wena mntanam yiyeke ngoba ayo cup lee yi cofee mug.... "okaaay iyaku tshisa khehle unye itea lee umuncu nje" yhoooo wothuka lamama waphendula "yewena msunwakho masende kayihlo nditheni ngokuthuka mqundu... wamangaliseka umfundisi nanko naye ephendula...... rha kuse kunyeni kwalapha kulomzi THIXO WAM NDIXOLELE NAWE NGEKE UNYAMEZELE UKUNYA ENDIKUKO......


2. U Sagza ubhala I test yesi Xhosa paper 1
izaci namaqhalo
Umbuzo 3
1)ikati ilele'ziko?
Sagza:: tshisa lonto.
2)inkungu ilala kwii ntaba ngee ntaba?
Sagza:: ayinamali ye Rent ke leyo.
3)ingwe idla ngamabala?
Sagza:: idunjelwe ngu MLOMO ke leyo.
4)iqaqa aliziva kunuka?
Sagza:: liyazulisa ke elo.
5)umvundla uzeki'ndlela?
Sagza:: unqatyelwe ke lowo.
6)amasi abekwe'langeni?
Sagza:: Waze wanya mphokoqo.
Uba ubungu tishala ka Sagza,, ubuzo mpha ngaphi??

3.Very Very Touching Story ..
A girl called Ntombi was inlove
with a guy called Thabang for almost
5 years untill that girl met
a new boyfriend who was so rich so
she broke up le motho wagaye
Thabang, she told him that they must
move on with their lives and find
new partners as the girl already
did that but the guy (Thabang) said "i
dont think it will be easy for me
cause i really love you Ntombi and ke batla
goba motho wagao till ke tsofala,i think my
heart was meant to be yours".The
girl said [ka pride]"but you know we wont
get far with our love cause you
are poor and You wont afford to support me as
a woman ,buy our own
house,cars etc cause u dont have
money..look Thabang you nolonger my type so
please back off"........
Five years later, that
girl was sick & that new boyfriend of hers
dumped her after he found out that the girl
was sick.....The girl was laying on surgery
bed........when she took a
look she saw her ex-boyfriend [Thabang]
standing next to her bed.........as she
goes into the surgery room for
heart transplant she says to her
ex-boyfriend....
"forgive me for
what i did to you,by hurting your
feelings ne ke dronka ke dilo tsa lefatshe nou
kae
tshola pleas ntshwarele :') ".......
Thabang replied with no tears in his eyes
just a smile only and said "dont
worry about that just go there
and do your operation"........
when the girl woke up at the
surgery....her Thabang was
gone.
She asked the nurse "where
is he?".....
nurse said:"didnt anyone
told you?"........and the nurse gave
her a letter from him(THABANG).......
she opened it........
it reads like this "I told u dear that
my heart is & will always b yours".......
THABANG
donated a heart for her....
DONT GO FOR WEALTH, EVEN THAT CAN FADE
AWAY..LOVE IS NOT ABOUT MONEY BUT
SOMETHING YOU FEEL INSIDE THAT ALWAYS
MAKES YOU HAPPY

4. U Sagza ubhala I test yesi Xhosa paper 1
izaci namaqhalo
Umbuzo 3
1)ikati ilele'ziko?
==>Sagza:: tshisa lonto.
2)inkungu ilala kwii ntaba ngee ntaba?
==>Sagza:: ayinamali ye Rent ke leyo.
3)ingwe idla ngamabala?
==>Sagza:: idunjelwe ngu MLOMO ke leyo.
4)iqaqa aliziva kunuka?
==>Sagza:: liyazulisa ke elo.
5)umvundla uzeki'ndlela?
==>Sagza:: unqatyelwe ke lowo.
6)amasi abekwe'langeni?
==>Sagza:: Waze wanya mphokoqo.
Uba ubungu tishala ka Sagza,, ubuzo mpha ngaphi??

5. Teacher : u-late kwakhona Mduduzi eClassin yam ukuze ndikuvumele ungene apha e-classini uzophendula umbuzo endizokubuza wona.
Teacher : khetha wena ndikubuze umbuzo omnye onzima okanye imibuzo emininzi elula.
MDU : ndibuze Omnye onzima.
Teacher : zingaphi inkwenkwezi eziphezulu esibhakabhakeni ?
MDU : 10 000. 
Teacher : wazi njani ?
MDu: Haibooo! sivumelene mosi ukuthi uzondibuza umbuzo Omnye manje! uvelaphi lona wesibini ?
Ngubani isikhokho apha kkkKkkkkk

6. UThemba usemngcwabeni uyasukuma uya phambili uyothethela omakhelwan...Asukume ngeculo...
Themba:(singing)... undize nge vest,undize nge vest......
.
.Kwathuleka nje emngcwabeni abantu bexakwe leliculo lika Themba... kwevakala uThembi unkosikaz wakhe emva emculela esith....
.
.Thembi: You deserve the best,you deserve the best...

7.  uSponono ubhalelwa ngutata wakhe into
azawfika ayithethe xa eplita.
Sponono: Molo ntombi.
Busi: Molo nawe.
Sponono: Philile?
Busi: philile wena?
Sponono: Nam ndiyaphila, nguban igama
lakho?
Busi: Ndingu Busisiwe bhuti.
Sponono: Oh... haike mna ndingu Sponono... Eh,
Ndiyakuthanda.
Busi: Uyandithanda?
Sponono: Ewe sisi...
uBusi uthathekile nguSporo
Busi: (smiling) Uthanda ntoni apha kum ke?
Sponono: Eh.... Hay nawe ungazifundela ke,
utata akhange ayibhale ke le undibuza yona.
khame khendiyombuza ye bhuma intombi
1 word 4 usponono
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