Sunday, August 30

Mahlatse Ramatseba

The Journey Of Life. A cycle Insert 60

A few days went by and my family was just doing great, as it said a family that prays together stays together. They were filled nothing but joy and happiness about how the lobola negotiations went and the addition to two members to the family.
Chrissie is always a gentle soul that brings the ultimate harmonious atmosphere into the family. She is more than just my brother's wife but more like a sister of blood and genes. Rorisang being a father as well has lighten up the atmosphere in the family, his gained a sense of responsibility. Soon the Masemola's would grace our house with their presence to announce the damage caused by one of our own.
December is a time of festivity and love. The sun's rays burning our tan and brown skins, as we show it off and feel the radiant sun pn our skins.
It was 31st of December, time really does fly, the family organised a braai so that we all could be thankful and celebrate the end of a year that was filled with thorns,gracefulness and tests that gave birth to the testimonies that we have this moment. I was happy of how everything was going, seeing my family happy also makes me happy, everyone was making me feel the joy and importance of having a family. Mom and Dad were all smiles, there were no arguments between them, everything was going smoothly. The family was really enjoying its time together as a unit, everything was just appealing.
The day was going by and I had plans later on with a certain Mr Charming who stole .y enormous heart. But initially had to go meet Rorisang ‘’Rabz’’ just discuss a way forward to the problem that we are facing. Rabz was surely in a tight place, he really cared about his younger brother which was natural. Although we both had an odea that he was on drugs but when we both confirmed to each other that is was more of a fact than an opinion. Things got real and hardcore, emotions were crippled and hearts were hurt and shattered.
I'd talk to him and give him some sense of hope that he is way more stronger than he thinks he is, Reabetswe would really appreciate his support even through this tough time. Since that time he always reported to me about everything that concerned Reabetswe.
I don’t know why but I think its because he trusts me too much, I support him in most things even though I am just his little brother's friend.
I sat there with everyone but my mind was just somewhere else, I was thinking about the plans I had made for later on, this was a tough one for me too. Rea wasn't a stranger to my heart which made it even more difficult to accept but I had to be strong and put my feelings aside.
I decided to send Rabz a message reminding him of our encounter later on.
‘’Hey Rabz, I will be coming to your home around 19:00pm, we have to discuss everything and see a way forward, we also have to tell your mom so that she can offer assistance regarding this, I know this will hurt for her but we have to do something fast, hang in there, everything will be fine soon’’
My mind got numb everytime I thought of Reabetswe, I tried understanding all the reasons that would make her do what he is doing, it seems like everyone was trying to put the pieces together but the person that can explain to us was Reabetswe, I think whatever that is making him do what he’s doing must be really hard on him because Reabetswe is not that type that runs to drugs everytime he faces hardships of life. I thought he was a really strong guy that had the strength to face everything that came his way.
The time came for me to go to Rabz and discuss a way forward, I took my phone and my purse just to buy airtime and something to eat during the walk, as I got near to Rabz place, I sms’d him again telling him that I was at the gate, but I thought that he would come out like usual but he just told me to come into the house because they were alone, It felt odd but I just went in, I knocked on the door and there was Rabz at the door telling me to come in
Rabz : Hi Kabo, you can come in, we are alone, my mom is not here. There is someone waiting to talk to you in the living room.
Me : Ohhhhhhk, who might that be? (I was alarmed)
As I entered my mind was just racing on who might be waiting to talk to me. I followed Rabz to the living room and there was Reabetswe sitting on the dining chair, I could feel the sadness and pain that he was feeling, I was also shocked that Reabetswe was ready to talk to me, a few days back he just didn’t show any interest in talking but I just took that thought out of my mind and focused on the problem that was facing me. Reabetswe asked to talk to me in private and I just looked and Rabz signalling that he should leave.
Me : Hey Rea. Rabz had told me that you were waiting to talk to me
Rabz : Hi Kabo, I I I …
As he tried talking I saw tears falling down his cheeks, I felt my heart sinking inside me because I too could not hold my tears if someone that I care about cries.
Me : Its ohk, I wont judge you, I am here for you, you have my support in this (As I rubbed his back gently). I know you can do this, take your time.
Rabz : I have been doing stupid things lately, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, I have this melancholic feeling that just makes me feel worthless, then I think of drugs, I thought that they might ease the pain away but it seems like I was just digging my own grave. At first I did not like what I was doing but something in me just made me go for more. I have been sitting alone trying to think of everything that was making me do what I am doing.
Me : You can keep going, everything will be fine. Sure it looks like a dead end but there is always light at thee end of the tunnel.
Rabz : Its ohk, when I was young, my dad was a detective, he was one of the best cops you could ever imagine, one night we were sitting together in the lounge and thugs came in and tried bribing him so that he could make a docket disappear but my dad said NO, the thugs got angry and pulled their guns out, one thing I heard was three bullets and there was my dad falling down to the floor, I couldn’t belive that it was my dad that got shot. We called the paramedics fast but as they arrived he was already dead, since that time I could not get that picture of my dad out of my head, I developed an aggressive behaviour that would sometimes get out of control, I would loose it when I was alone and break things in my room, I thought it will fade away but it never did, it kept on growing,growing and growing. I thought that maybe taking drugs would make me feel better but now I see that I am fooling myself, I am hooked on drugs, I cant take this anymore, I need help.
Me : Its ohk Rea, I am here for you, things will be fine, everything will be fine. You are one of the strongest guys I know, you can fight this. I believe in you, I believe in you because I know your strengths. You have everyones support.
I talked with him and made him see the greatness that was in him, I made him see the value of his life and how appreciated he is, I made him see the importance of his life to us.
The worst thing that society does it to label man as steel and do not cry or are not week.
They use drugs to hide whatever they are feeling and sometimes use things like beating up women trying to feel superior and hide their weaknesses and mistakes.
Looking at Rea I saw a young mad who's soul needed refuge, he was lost in his thoughts...
His heavy heart was reflected through his facial expression. I could see that although he didn't love Thando as she wished but he cared about her and didn't mean any harm but it doesn't make it right at all. Tears just rolled down my cheeks because I couldn't recognize the figure before me, he was like a stranger. I saw through his blood shot eyes that it hurt his seeing me break down a bit. He cupped my face into his rough hands as he tried to wipe my tears.
"I know I've been nothing but a jerk to you, and you deserve to be happy. Kaboentle I love you more than you realise but most of the time I used that undying love for you to hurt your caring heart. Could you ever forgive me?" He said as he looked away and quicky removed his hands and the warmness of his hands escaped.
I know he meant well and at that moment my heart raced matching the pace of his but I quickly remembered that this isn't my life anymore. As much as I tried, my heart doesn't belong to him anymore. Before I could reply and burst his bubble, Rabz appeared with their mother. She looked worried as she rushed to her precious son's side.
Rabz and I explained everything to her not leaving a single detail. She nodded broken hearted as she looked at her son with eyes of concern or hurt.
"I guess that day 8 years ago, I didn't just lose a husband but a child. I neglected your feelings, no child deserves to visualize such an ordeal. I am sorry for not showing support regarding that painful time. I am sorry I focused on my own heart and forgot that I had two children that needed me to comfort. " she confessed as she hugged her son.
I couldn't help but cry too, it was emotional. No one in this world whether child or mother deserves to see their loved ones being murdered infront of them.
All of them agreed that it would be best that Rea must be admitted to rehab. He was also in on it which showed that he really was serious about needing help.
As I glanced to my watch it was about 10pm and a few hours before welcoming another year where we'd learn,love, cry, forgive and explore. Rea's mom thanked me but I told her that her older son deserves all the credit.
Rabz took me home, because it was late and I couldn't walk home. On the way we talked briefly as we also thanked me.
He dropped me off and I was met by Mr President by the gate.
ThAbang: Letswa kae bosigo byana? (Where you from at this time of the night)
I just smiled "A story for another day"I exhaled.
I enjoyed that night wrapped in arms full of pure love.
We watched the fire crackers together. A night to remember, a night that welcomed a new chapter to my life.
Happy New Year

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