Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 2 - Mzansi Stories

Tuesday, October 13


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 2


Two weeks after the traditional ceremonies, my beloved dad passed away in his sleep.Suspected heart attack. He and my mom were going through a rough patch. Ntate wa me, really hurt us and my mom. Ene ele motho le basadi. Apparently my mom caught him with his pants down, few months before my traditional ceremony. He packed his bags and left, and no one knew where he was. Although he was still going to work and keeping contact with my family, He stayed far away from us. He once came to see my mom, and told her that he needed time to think things through. I thought maybe he was so disappointed in himself and ashamed to face mama.

Both my elder siblings and mom were still angry at him. They are the victims of his adultery.Apparently papa has been cheating on mama from far back. She always forgave him,yet he always went back to his cheating ways. Omphile hated him, Tsitsi despised him.Omo,myself and Ole loved him,regardless. My dad was healthy & although he drank alcohol a lot, he seemed perfectly fine.

Rumour has it that He wrote my mama a heartfelt apology letter before his sudden death.Mama ga ise a bue sepe ka lekwalo leo.Le rona ga re ise re mmotsise ka lona. We buried him on the 4th August 2007.Kevin's family were very supportive. Bontsi ba family ya gagwe ba ne ba tlile go re tshegetsa.They hired a taxi and some used their private cars.Unfortunately, on their way back to the Vaal, the taxi they came with lost control, three family members, Kevin's grandmother, uncle & cousin passed away. It was sad times for both families as we suffered such untimely loss of loved ones.

It's almost a year, ke ntsheditswe bogadi; matlhabiso was done, re amogetse bagonyana as well. So this was just our intimate private affair. Kev always said,I'm not fully his wife, until he sees me in a white dress, so here I was, ready to walk down the isle and officially wear a proper wedding ring.Sadly papa won't be there to walk me down the aisle and Nkhono Malereku Tau and Kevin's uncle won't be there to witness our special moments. May their beautiful soul rest in peace.

When Kev a mpolella gore o batla go nnyala, I clearly told him not to buy me those engagement rings. I do not believe in them. Ever since I was a little girl, I vowed to myself that I will only wear a specific custom-made wedding ring. I didn't want him to waste money on a ring that he chose for me just for engagement. Ke ne ke batla my dream ring, e ke tla e aparang ka lethabo le boikgantsho not a surprise ring, that I would wear just to please him, even if ke sa e rate. I never heard of any woman o ikileng ya re ba mo proposer ka “surprise ring” a be are, ga a e rate.

They all seem to love and fall in love with their rings. I am different like that, I hate to pretend and lie. A wedding ring is something that will stay on your finger until death, so you must really love yours wholeheartedly to agree to put it on for such a long time. I believe every woman should choose their own, rings, wedding dresses and wedding theme, so in my case; no rings were bought ka magadi.

You guys know gore banna ba bangwe ba sele yang, they will buy you engagement rings and propose, etlabe ele pheto tuu.To be realistic, in our African culture, we do not recognize ‘engagement,as go nyala, not all of us though, but ga se gantsi’. Monna ke wa gago once a go ntshetsa bogadi. Le ga le ka tsaya 10 years le sa dira white wedding, go nyala le nyetse. Some woman just get excited ba rwesitswe engagement ring for 5 years till e be e rusa, o ntse ore I’m engaged to be married, what is that maar?

My cousin Mpho, has been engaged to be married to Bandile since 2005, two years later she is still engaged to be married, with two kids. Whenever there is family gathering my aunts’ tease her, ba mmotsa bare sa letile MaXhosa a tle go kopa sego sa metsi.
Shame o tla fitlhela ele sono. Yet.Yet ko ntle o kgantshetsa ditsala and badiri-ka-ena, she walks with pride saying my fiancé this, my fiancé that. Aowa, kante motho e ba fiancé for how long?

That’s why, nna, I do not believe in ‘engagement and engagement rings. Ke tenwa ke go ba stuck on a promise. You either send people ko gaetsho ba yo kopa kelo / sego sa metsi, or you just do nothing. Tsa gore you promise to marry me one day, nyaya, ke a leboga abuti. You will be either stuck with that engagement ring, come the wedding day, if he finally marries you, motho a be a adder some bands and that's it. Some man like Bandile, ga ba sa tshwenyega ka go nyala,cos ene tlebe a go tsentse ring for control and stop nonsense, on the other hand, ena a sena ring to stop nonsense( not that a ring, stop nonsense, but at least when you have a ring on, some man & woman respect that about you).

Kevin and I had a deal, that he will do the necessary, a ntshe magadi and then matlhabiso. We were marrying Out of Community of property, (Anc with accrual), so we needed to have the contract drafted & Registered, which was already done a month before the traditional wedding. We had already signed on the dotted lines. We were just waiting for the documents to be Lodged & registered at the Deeds Office. Until then, I wasn't going to use his surname till our white wedding.

We were having our dream wedding. Me wearing a white gown for Kev, blessing of both rings & us reciting our vows, and finally being Mrs. Obonolo Kimberly MaKananelo Tau. MaKananelo ke leina lame le ke le filweng ke ba bogadi ba me ka letsatsi la go amogela ngwetsi.

Kevin Tau,the 2nd born child of MaNthabeleng & Motheo Tau. Born and bred at Sebokeng on the 25 September 1975. He is a Civil Engineer by profession, and works at Sasol. He has an older sister Nthabeleng, younger sister Reatlehile, little brother Thabiso and little sister Rethabile. Thabiso and Rethabile are twins, and both my age.

I will tell you more about how Kevin & I met, as the story unfolds.

Just as I was reminiscing about Kevin, and our lives together,Ous Base,tapped me on my shoulder, more like waking me up from day dreaming,
Ous Base:"Noli, ke botsitse gore, e go tshwere sentle roko ya gago naa?"
"Ooh , tshwarelo Ousi, hai, I'm 1000 miles away, Eya, e right, I like the way its now fit-ting,compared to 3 weeks ago, now its a bit loose but well fitting, ke rata the way e ntshwarang mo matseleng, perfect fit indeed."

Three weeks ago,I came for what was supposed to be my final fitting with all my bridesmaids. My main dress literally fell off my breast,was loose on the curves, all because I lost some weight.The 2nd dress design was surprisingly fitting me perfectly.

The seamstress said the secret is in the fabric used. So we collected my 2nd dress & both bridesmaids dresses.I was supposed to come collect the Main dress in 2 weeks time,but decided I will do it a day before the wedding. Reason for that was, just in case I loose more weight, ke gone gore ba dire the necessary adjustment a day before.

My dress was perfect,elegant and pure simple. I just couldn't wait to wear it,just to see the look on Kev's face when he sees me. He's been asking for clues about the type of dress I chose, and I have been avoiding discussing my dresses, especially the fact that, there are three of them, I wanted him to be blown and suprised ka wedding day. Just like everybody else, except my mother and mmatsale, who insisted to come with me for my first fitting.

Mama o batla ke apare a veil, because ga kena ngwana, are I'm pure. She believes that my husband should unveil me at the altar. Mmematsale are ke rwale fascinator fela, she said she fell inlove with a fascinator, first time she saw it. She wanted me to show off my face. I was just confused which one I will choose.

Ousi Base took out all the different types of veils & fascinators, for bo mama to make their choices. They were very supportive of the dress choices except matsale was somehow tempted to impose on her choices,but o ne a ikgala.Ke tlogile ke ba boleletse from the beginning gore, 'My dresses, my choice, their support.'

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