Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 89 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, October 15

Wizzy

Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 89

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DYGO 89
It was now September, a month before my one year anniversary. So Kevin and I were planning a huge house warming party and our cake eating ceremony to celebrate with close friends and family.

I asked Reatli to help and Omo, the events coordinators tsa mo family. I have been very lazy lately; Kevin teased me about my weight. I answered him back ke re ke baby weight.

I knew I was over working myself. I was not taking care of my eating habits. I was taking comfort in food. I even took DK to a cooking school just for my new found love for nice food. Whenever I was at work, I'd call her ke mmolelle ke galetse eng and she will just google and make it. So hai, ke ne ke ithatela dijo, ebile ke sena mathata. I had no worry in the world.

One night when Kevin and I were busy playing hide and seek ko mpetong, he asked me to ride him on top. I did as requested, 5 minutes down the ride; I was so tired like I was running. I got off and told him I can't deal. He got on top and finished off. He never said a thing, but I could see my weight was really bothering him but he didn’t have it in him to hurt my feelings. One thing for you, he was bothered especially because it was now affecting our sex life. I started complaining about this position and that one…
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The following day while at work, I got a call from my husband. A concerned call as he put it.

Kev: "Shugaboo, I don’t mean to offend or hurt your feelings, but, I want us to talk about your health. I'm very worried about you. Lately, you have been putting on some weight and we both know why. You have developed truelove for food, which I don't mind. I just want you to at least be active. Maybe we should start jogging together. I know you hate gym, so I am willing to help you get into fitness training. You are beautiful Bobo, but lately you seem to have given up on yourself. I want you to be healthy that is why I'm raising this. Also, if you still want to conceive, you need to be healthy to increase the chances. Please Bobowapeloyaka, think about it and let’s discuss it further, later ko ntlong. oh by the way, I will be going to Sasol office round 13h00, so call me on my cell ha o mpatla.”

Hash tag awkward. Ka emisa ditsebe. I actually laughed as well.

Nna: “Okay Lavo, re tla bua gantelle ko ntlong.”

That’s all I could say. I didn’t know what else to say.

Kevin: " Bobo, ha wa lebala something?”

I asked him, something like what? He said, well, if I haven't forgotten anything, then, let’s leave it there and should I remember, I know where and how to find him.

I was confused about his question especially after what he just told me. Mmm, what was this man talking about? I thought to myself..Hai, I told him that I loved him and we said our goodbyes and I hang up.

Ke ne ke sampe ke makaditse ke Kev. I was thinking, was this about last night? When I got tired while making love? Or my constant comments about my clothes not fitting me properly and or me being tired and complaining about the kama sutra positions Kevin loves? Or was it a genuine concern? I was letting myself down? I had given up on myself? I thought, let me go to my voice of reason.

I went to Zuraider ( aka Zu) ,my honest colleague who says things like it is. I got to her office , pulled a chair and just sat there. She was like" woman, what's the matter?", I know that look. C'mon shoot. I know she knows me that well. We have been friends since I started working at Investec. She was a very open and honest person. She is an Indian lady, who was almost same age if not 2 years older. I always teased her that, her parents are not telling her the truth, she must be a mixed bred, she's not pure Indian she was different to most Indians..

She doesn't behave like some Indian colleagues. She doesn't like gossip, she dresses so well and she never behaved black when it suits her or whenever she's around black people, she never behave white whenever she was around whites, like most Indians do. Her parents wanted her to marry a fellow Indian man, but she refused and went overseas for 3 years, with a white man. When she came back she married Patrick Xavier without her parents’ blessing.

They did not even attend her wedding.. Her parents disowned her. So she has been with Mr X and their children, and her in-laws. She does speak to her mom and little sister Jayshree (in secret obviously), but the rest of the Suleiman want nothing to do with her.

I stood up and went next to her desk, and twril for her.

Nna: “Do you think I am fat?”

Zu: “Hau Choma, what brought that up? She asked.

I told her about last night and my constant eating. I said worse, Kevin just called me from the comfort of his office to tell me in a very nice and polite way that I was fat and that we must start jogging.

Nna: “Can you believe him?”

I asked Zu in a very pissed off tone. I know my husband means well, but, for him to say I have given up on myself was rather extremely painful. What does he want me to do? I hated gym and jogging.Do you think I am being a jerk choma?

Choma, do you want my honest opinion? Zu asked and continued without me answering…Off course I needed her honest opinion, that why I was in her office isn’t I?

Zu: “I have been observing you, lately you bring lunch box, a fully loaded one, and it is always rich & creamy, oily and very fattening and has lots of cheesy stuff. I know DK is really spoiling you but you are overdoing this new love for food. For the past two months, You were no longer that rabbit that lived on green leaves, carrots and skinless chicken. You are exploring new flavors and stuff, I get it. But honestly, you did put on some weight Choma. Your husband is right, do something. Atleast he is man enough to offer to help you get rid of fats, sugar and fizzy stuff. Kevin wants that lighter energetic beastress in the bedroom. Not the one he's having lately. Don't get him wrong, take up his offer, and shed off a little, asseblief chomaima. Look at it in a positive light. Be glad he told you rather than leaving you like that and go outside and get himself some wild fun.”

I felt my heart raising. I could not believe she was supporting my husband…

Nna: “Oh now you also think I am fat. You have a problem with me eating the food I love? Do you and Kevin have any idea how you saying I am Ms Piggy makes me feel? What do you want me to do? Sit and behave like I am well? I don't care about how much weight I have put on, food comforts me more than the two of you combined. Jerrr, le ka tena motho tlhe. Anyway keep your opinions about my body and my lunch box to yourselves. Nxxxx.”

I turned around and left her office without giving her a chance to utter a single word. I don’t know what came over me. I just lashed out at my friend for being honest with me.

I just ran to the bathroom and cried so hard. I just remembered the child we lost. In counting, he would have been born, he would be 2 months. I would be breastfeeding, and nobody was going to be on my case about my weight. Thoughts of my loss came back. I cried in that bathroom, unaware that I was somewhat crying louder.

Anyone who came in the bathroom could hear me crying. Two ladies even knocked on my door, all asking, if I was ok, and to please open the door? On both occasions I just ignored them,

I couldn't care still, I let myself cry. I was now calming down, but still letting a soft cry. I heard footsteps, and a voice saying which door. It was Sis Zodwa (the cleaning lady). She knocked on my toilet door. She was not aware who was behind the closed door, one of the ladies must have called her to check on the person crying in the toilet.

Knowing it was her, I opened the door, and she just held my hand, helping me up. We hugged for a while saying nothing, I was just sobbing. She ran the tap water, pointed that I should wash my face. I did just that. The pain in my heart was unbearable.

Zodwa Simelane, she's those woman, about 51 years of age, doesn't look anywhere near to being over fifty, she looked much younger, I swear she looked exactly like my elder sister in law Nthabeleng who was just 43 years old.

Sis Zodwa have been through so much but still standing. Her story was very sad. She was a midwife by profession, until one unfortunate time she mistakenly dropped a newborn on the floor and unfortunately the baby died. They blamed her and was dismissed, kicked out, sued and her certificate confiscated. She lost everything.

She went and stayed at a shack in Alexander Township. She's never been the same ever since. She struggled so much, psychologically and financially. As if it wasn't enough, a few months after the accident, her Zimbabwean boyfriend took their two children and disappeared. Noone knows their whereabouts. She believes he went back home to Zim with them. She has been looking for her kids ever since to no avail. She even went to khumbule khaya.

She started picking up the pieces of her life, looked for a job. That's when she got hired as a cleaner mo Investec. She has been here for 8 long years. Now she was a supervisor for the cleaning team.

She now stays at Eastbank side of Alexander. She managed to buy herself a house. She was one humble and god-fearing woman I have ever came across.

When I joined the company, she was very welcoming and humble towards me. She would bring me my green tea first thing when I arrive, without me asking, other morning she will bring mangwinya le atchar from Alex without charging me.

Lunch times she would peep on my office door and ask if she must get me something from canteen or if I brought lunch box, she would ask if she should warm it for me. She was a very giving, down to earth, polite and wise woman. Those who know her story, knows the kind of strong woman she has become through hardship. She's above all, caring.

When I came back from leave, after the miscarriage, she came and counseled me. She knew the pain. She has witnessed a whole lot of women loosing kids, due to miscarriages, stillborn and abortions when she was a midwife.

She was the one who comforted them. So she knew exactly what to say and how to say it. I felt comfortable discussing my feelings with her. She knew how I was blaming myself as well.

When she found me crying in that bathroom, she knew I must have had one of those moments when grieve strikes me or I was falling apart. She said she has noticed that lately I was too emotional and hiding behind my work. She comforted me till I was ok. Then just as I was about to leave, she said something that made me think deep.

What was sis Zodwa talking about though? Can it be true? No it can’t be

Well I thought, the only way to find that out if what sis Zodwa suggested was somewhat true, I needed to do some research and Google will probably tell me the signs …

I hope with all my heart that it was something else, not that. I was not ready to go through tests and examinations.

I could not go there…not now when I was still recovering...

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