Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 83 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, October 15


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 83


Days went fast. Kevin and I were having so much fun. We were making too many excuses to have lots of sex because we were trying to conceive. I was not complaining. I was having the time of my Life. My marriage was just growing stronger and stronger by day.

It was already end of December. The house building had already commenced. The structure was taking shape. We were already planning to go shopping for furniture. We were waiting impatiently for everything to be ready for us to move in.

Kevin kept reminding me to discard all the packets of pills lying around our bedroom in the cabinet drawers. Hai Shame my husband really wanted to be a father and didn’t want me to even think of cheating him on that.

I decided to gather all the contraceptives lying in our bathroom drawers and threw them away. Just as I was busy clearing up the drawer, I bumped into some contraceptive pills that were not finished. I remembered that during wedding preps, there were days I missed taking the pill and when I did, I would go on and open new packet and restart. Yoo there were so many packets. I thought of hiding a few packets and drink them in secret till later in the New Year but I decided against it.

I was now looking forward to being a mom. Every day the excitement grew. I had channeled my mind that I was ready to conceive. I went to a chemist and bought some over the counter pills that were "apparently" meant to clean out all the residues of the birth control pills I was taking all those years, to prepare my womb for conception. Kevin told her mom ( as expected) that we were trying for a baby. She recommended that I took Stameta (some awful tasting concoction to clean my system). She swore that it does clean out one’s tummy and cancel whatever birth control pills in the systems. She said before I knew it, I would be pregnant. She even went and bought it for me and gave it to my husband to give it to me with instructions.

We were reluctant at first, but I decided to convince my husband that we should try it, especially if his mom swears by it. Why not. We were trying to conceive, so if my mom in law was kind enough to ensure that I conceive in a heartbeat by recommending that, I might as well try it. She told me it was awful but I should drink it. I told her I bought some pills at the chemist that was meant to cleanse my system, she said I should not drink those and only drink Stameta.

You know desperation e ntse jaang especially ga o batla something so badly, so I started drinking it every second day. I wanted to conceive so desperately, so as Kevin. He kept asking about my circle and when was I ovulating and that we should do the home pregnancy test to check. I really didn’t want to be disappointed by taking the test. I was not even tracking my periods; ovulation etc etc.

I was pumping and cleansing my tummy out with stameta. I used to be so sick with cramps and all. That thing was not good but I was so loyal to it. I told Kevin about the awfulness of that Stameta, He was now getting worried that I might be overdoing it. He didn’t approve of me taking such harsh concoctions anymore.

Kevin warned me about the Stameta because and said he doesn't think it was a good idea for me to be cleaning my tummy so much with such harsh stuff that was making me sick, especially now that we were trying to conceive. He asked me to stop drinking it.

Ke bile ka mo tshepisa gore ke tla emisa, go se nwa. Go bua maaka sometimes it's not a good thing.I did not stop completely. I reduced the dose, I started taking it only once a week instead of drinking it every second day as I initially did, instructions from Mmatsale.

I was busy and hectic at work, not eating properly but being such a sucker for junk food. I was gaining weight. My colleagues were always commenting about it. Although I still wanted to enjoy my sexy figure before pregnancy, I was not bothered because I was indulging on wine and eating junk food. Weight gain was bound to happen. I was constantly craving Magnum and cake. Whenever I get home from work, I would get to the fridge and take out magnum or cake and drink my tea and lazy on the couch. Come supper time, I would not want anything, except meat and dessert of the day. Kev was always ko spar le ko Indulge Coffee shop getting me their delicious mouth watering Tiramisu cake.

One day at work I got so sick, initially I ignored it because ever since I started taking stameta, I was feeling like that.During the day, I was getting worse, I thought it was just a stomach bug. I started vomiting, nauseous and hot. I had a meeting with my boss who noticed that I was in pain.My boss called Kevin who came, and fetched me and insisted we go straight to the doctor. On our way he kept asking If I stopped drinking the stameta naa? I had no choice but to tell the truth that I was drinking it once a week. He was not impressed and told me I should get rid of it.

We went to Morningside clinic as it was closer to my work. Dr did some tests to see what was wrong with me. We waited for the tests results to come back.Doctor came back told us we were 9 and half weeks pregnant.

The joy in our hearts... Nothing can replace that kind of joy. Immediately we started crying. It was such a surreal feeling that I've never experienced and doubt I ever will. A baby was inside of me! It just didn't feel real. Marriage is huge, buying a house is huge, but making a human…It’s Epic, Out of this world!

We cried and laughed and praised and worshipped…all in less than 10 minutes. Kevin leaned over to my face and whispered, “thank you."I nodded with tears running down my face, I looked up and said thank you Lord.

Yooo, the realization of a pregnancy scared me. I was really reckless. We did our math. It was confirmed we conceived our baby during the wedding preps. All along we were not aware of the pregnancy. To think that when Kevin was busy pressuring me to stop taking the pill, I was already pregnant was just surprising. I never suspected any signs. I remembered Omo’s comments that I dismissed. I was beyond shocked and excited at the same time. Yooo. How did I miss that? Ka nnete Modimo o mogolo.

My pregnancy news felt amazing, yet I was filled with a nervous concern. We were incredibly ecstatic, but euphoria hit when my husband and I heard a heartbeat. We raised our concerns to the doctor that because I was not aware that I was pregnant, I was drinking alcohol and taking some over the counter medication and some laxatives stuff ( Stameta to be precise) .

Doctor booked us for a proper and clearer pregnancy scan and some tests to check the baby’s growth and for us to see our little one.

We left the doctor's room overjoyed. We then decided to tell only our close family about the great news when I reached the 12 weeks ( 3 Months) mark and the rest of the people we will tell them when we pass the 4 months and above.

Our dr's appointment was scheduled for the 3 January
Over the next few weeks, I experienced morning sickness, achy breasts and more textbook pregnancy symptoms. But there were plenty of highs, too. Late at night, my husband and I would run through the possible reconfigurations of our house, planning where the nursery will be, if the new house will accommodate a crib, and how much time we had before our baby would be here, if the house will be ready when she or he arrives and we’d need a color scheme to decorate the nursery.

Kevin already went and bought two pairs of outfits. A boy and a girl outfit, saying whatever the sex, he would be happy. I too went and bought little baby stuff and baby magazines. We were indeed happy.

We drove to Mmatau and told mama the good news and then to Sebokeng and told Mmatswale and daddyT. We told all our siblings. They were all overjoyed.

Mme Mmatsale pulled me aside, and told me I should trust her more often, because now I was pregnant. I told her, that it was not because of her that I was pregnant. It just happened, God’s will, way back before she asked me to “make her happy” and even gave me the stameta to clean my tummy..Was this woman for real? She only gave me the stameta few weeks ago, and I told her we were 3 Months pregnant.

I was really excited that I was pregnant, but worried about the baby's health because of my alcohol consumption, the over the counter pills I took and that Stameta. I was thinking a lot about them and wondering if they didn’t cause any damage to the child’s health.

We were really looking forward to our dr’s appointment, which was due in couple of days. We were going to see our baby for the first time and hear the heartbeat. I also could not wait to tell my friends, Batso, Hlogi, Relo, Baksy and others about my greatest news. Kevin and I decided to tell the friends only after our first appointment and all.

On the 31st December, we were having braai at Reatli and Nyiko's home in Centurion. They threw a big party. They had reconciled and were doing well.

Its DiTau sibling’s tradition, that every 31st December, they rotate and host a New Year’s Eve party. So it was Reatli's turn, my first one as fully Mrs Tau.

I was not feeling too well. I had light cramps and a terrible stomach pains. I didn't tell Kevin, because a week ago he found the bottle of stameta and he was really unhappy. He asked me why that thing still in the house after he said I should discard it. He was going on and on about me endangering our unborn child’s life due to excessive use of Stameta even after he advised me to stop.

I dismissed him and told him that he was being unfair. Besides, I was not aware I was pregnant at that time I took it. I felt he was really unfair to me by making such statement. I assured him that as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking it. I just forgot to throw it away. That was it.He said I better not think about drinking anything except my vitamins and minerals. He said he didn't want anything happening to our precious cargo you carrying.

The party went on, people were having fun. I was not enjoying the party due to the camps. After midnight, New Year’s Day, some family members were leaving. I asked Kevin that we should also leave. At first he was reluctant, but I finally told him I was not feeling ok and that I have been feeling that way from last night. Reatli was surprised gore since when, nna le Kev re tsamaya so early, because normally we were the last to leave.

Kevin had to tell everyone that I have been feeling cramps and discomfort. So everyone assured us that, it does happen in pregnancy.

The next few next hours were very agonizing. I knew deep down that something was wrong and I couldn't stop worrying, even with people telling me it was normal and that it was nothing. Deep down inside I knew that it was something. All I could think of was Stameta, and the wines I have been drinking. I had a weird feeling about how I was feeling and nothing or no one could change it.

Kevin told them that we should go. We said our goodbyes and left.

On our way to the house, I kept praising and worshipping. Kevin and I were quiet most of the time. I had my hands on my tummy, whispering to God and to my baby. Little one hang in there, two more days we will see you and the doctor would figure out what was wrong. Hang in there baby. I was praying and talking inside. I didn’t want to worry Kevin who already looked worried.

Now and again He would look through the rear view mirror asking me how I was feeling, and how was the pain etc. All the time I kept on saying, I am Ok, and that it will be ok.

We got home. All I needed was to rush to the bathroom and check if there was any bleeding. Luckily there was nothing. So maybe those people were right. There was absolutely nothing to worry about…

I calm down a little. I changed into my Pjs. Kevin came to join me. We knelt down and prayed to God to protect me and our unborn child and thank him for trusting us with the child’s life.

We went to bed, curled up without saying anything to each other. We were all in our own little worlds I guess.

My husband was holding me so tied, with his hands on my tummy, rubbing it and still talking to God……He kept on saying, it will be ok. Our baby was Ok, and that everything will be fine….I was dosing off…
Deep inside, I was scared as hell.

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