Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 7 - Mzansi Stories

Tuesday, October 13

Wizzy

Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 7

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DYGO 07
We sat together waiting for the reception to start. We had a long discussion about life in general. I asked him why he at least didn’t introduce himself to me the last time he saw me. He said that he was waiting for us to finish with the bridal shower. He was planning on approaching me then. He said unfortunately by the time we finished, an older guy driving a huge Mercedes Benz came to fetch me. He thought it was my sugar-daddy.

As he was telling me all that, I remembered that my brother Omphile did come to fetch me at Evaton. We were having family dinner that day. I laughed at him thinking my elder brother was my sugar.It all made sense, as I now remember, seeing guys at Nkagi's bridal shower, washing cars by the gate, one of them happened to be Kev, pity I didn't notice him, but he noticed me.

We sat together the entire wedding. I was blown by his charm. I really had fun with him. He even offered to take me home, to my brother ( Omphile's) place ko Meredale.I was currently staying there since I had finished with my Exams. I was planning on going to Mmatau for Xmas, after the wedding.

When Kev dropped me off that night he asked me for my numbers, I refused to give them to him. I told him to finish His search operation. I told him that if he really wants to talk to me, He must work hard to get my contacts and phone me. As I got out of the car, he promised that he will find me again, whatever it takes. I told him I am going home to Rustenburg for festive. So, that was it, we won't cross paths again. I got off his car & left.

Tuesday afternoon, my brother, his family and I left for Mmatau. I spend my Xmas together with my family, it was surreal as always. It was our culture, every week ya Christmas we gather together and celebrate Omontle's birthday and Christmas.

I thought a lot about Kevin, somehow hoping he'd get my numbers & call. For every unknown numbers coming through my phone, I always thought it would be him. Part of me was beginning to regret why I refused to give him my numbers. I found myself thinking a lot about him. At some point I thought of asking Matebatso for Kevin's numbers, but I couldn't. Nna le Batso ga re ise re kopane after the wedding to talk properly.

Although we spoke over the phone, I never even told her about my meeting with Kevin at Nkagisengs wedding. I was waiting for the time e ke tla beng ke le sure gore Kevin and I were communicating. One other thing I was not telling Batso about meeting Kevin is that, ever since Nkagiseng’s bridal shower, She kept telling me to dump Richmond – my then boyfriend. She never really liked him at all.She will criticize and talk bad about him. She used to say ke serial cheater.Somehow I knew that, but I was in love with Richmond . The past two months she was too critical of Rich, saying he was good for nothing, cheater and a liar and that I deserve someone honest and loving. He mentioned that I should date Kgosi, his brother Kgosi.

I was like, "No roomie, we don't date each other’s siblings or exes. Kgosi is like a brother to me. At least I thought of him that way. Yes his brother was so cute and all. He had such a great personality, but I never thought he looked at me that way. Matebatso then told me that, ever since my last visit ko Evaton ( Nkagi's Bridal shower) Kgosi has been asking her, a lot of questions about me. So basically, Matebatso put two and two together, thought Kgosi was interested in me hence every single time I spoke to her, she always mentioned Kgosi’s name, & how I should date him. Ha-iii my friend...playing match making between me and her brother.

A week later, still no phone call from Kevin. I gave up hope that Kevin would call and decided to focus on my life.I thought a lot about my dysfunctional relationship ya me le Richmond, I decided maybe its time I just let go. I hated how I felt about him. Ene ekete ke a ipateletsa. It really hurt me to be with him, even though I enjoyed his attention and the fact that he was spoiling me.I finally broke up with Richmond during December, so I was flying solo permanently.

It was mid January, my final year of Varsity, so I had already gone back to Pretoria. I was preparing for my 1st classes commencing in few days time. Matebatso was already back so we already catch up on our December gossip.I still didn't tell her about meeting Kevin, besides, He hasn't even tried to contact me. She was just overjoyed that I broke up with Richmond. She had a silly smile on her face. I guess she was happy I might end up with her brother, now that I was single.

Batso mentioned that my potential boyfriend ( his brother) dropped her and also mentioned that she might have met someone over the Xmas. She said it’s not a done deal, but the guy is showing some interest on her. I was happy for my roomie; she never had a steady boyfriend for the past years since we got to Pretoria. So maybe this mysterious guy will occupy her mind and she will stop trying to hook me up with Kgosi. I was interested in Kgosi’s friend not him tlhe.

Time went by, still no call from Kev, I realized it was time I finally bury the idea of him calling me.Seemingly He was not interested on having a relationship with me, or, maybe Kgosi told him he was pursuing me as well and refused to give him my contacts? Anyway, I guess it was not meant to be.

Valentine day was close by so, I was feeling lonely & starting to think of Richmond and the real reason why I dumped him. Yes he is not an honest & loyal person, he does not express his feelings, he is full of mischief, he displays signs of a cheater, he is a liar, and ladies man, but I really liked him. He would at least phone me, sms and take me out to movies and kept me company when it suits him. Beneath that playa behavior, I believed all was not lost. He is a good person who has been hurt, now he is blocking love by hurting people.

Rich was a party animal, he knew Pretoria in & out, he would take me to great places (Classy restaurants, clubs and soul sessions.) Although we always come back fighting over him flirting with girls wherever we were, or him leaving me alone or disappearing on me time and again but I enjoyed his bad boy company.It was better than being stuck in my flat, doing nothing. Whenever I was with him, he was really a gentleman, or acting like one to soften me up. I always had something to complain about.
I used to feel so lonely with him by my side. He was there, but not there. He will be absent minded. He was so vague. He was not paying attention to me and I was longing for his attention.

After meeting Kev, in such a short period of time I spend with him, I was very comfortable with him. He was very funny, made me laugh. He was full of life, he knew what he wanted out of life, he seemed together. I liked the way he was engaging in conversation, how he gave me attention, acted like he really wanted to be in my company. He asked me if I was seeing someone, I ended up telling him about Richmond & our 2 years relationship. Kev was matured, I didn't know his age, but he spoke sense, he was very intelligent.

After telling him about Rich, He said something to me that no one has ever told me, Except Batso. He said I deserve better. I needed to know my worth & I should never settle for less. To think that ke se ke neng ke se dira in my relationship with Rich, I was settling for less or settling for the way he was treating me, financially and materially. My emotional needs were not met. I longed for Him. I craved for His attention and time. I was not getting that.He was not even trying to give me that. He only treated me the way I allowed him to treat me.

Through all the Xmas times ko Mmatau, Kevin's words played over and over in my mind , that persuaded me to be bold enough and have the guts to dump Rich. Whether I was over him, or ready to do that, I guess, I didn't bother. I just forced myself to let go. I just thought I was begging where I was not benefiting, emotionally that is.Even when I dialed his number to tell him I'm ending our relationship,he did not even care, like all this time, he just said, OK, if that’s what I want. He didn't even ask me why I was ending the relationship. It was like good riddance.

I guess one other reason of breaking up with Rich was that, I was beginning to develop some feelings for Kev. A part of me wanted to get to know him. Now seeing that His intentions were not to pursue or want me, I was thinking ka gongwe ke dirile phoso ka go kgaogana le Richmond. I was so confused and miserable. Whats done is done. I broke it up and I don't have Kevin in my life. I must just focus on finishing my Degree and forget about men.

9th of February 2002. I got about 5 missed calls from an unknown number. I thought it was Rich, using a different number because after I broke up with him, he never tried to call, until when school reopened.O ne a nagana gore o pusher nako le mang since I dumped him. Only now he is trying to twist my mind. Nxxx The nerve he had.

He tried calling me & I was avoiding his calls. I was not ready to talk to him or explain why I broke up with him over the phone, he seemed not interested when I dumped him ka December, so why now?.I kept on getting missed calls from that number, I was irritated and saved the number as Don't Answer, and carried on with my life.

It was Saturday afternoon; Matebatso had gone home for the weekend. She was saying she missed her mystery man/ secret admirer. I always asked her if her mystery man has finally made advances or something, she always sounds so vague. Anyway, I was just wondering why they are not dating. I could see she didn’t know the guy's intentions or feelings for her. It was one sided love interest, like mine and Kevin. I told Batso not to throw herself to the guy or make it too obvious to him, that she is interested. So trips home was a chance to “accidentally" bump into him or go pass the guy's house, in case he is there.

Hai, tota Lerato o le tshabe. Le tla go fetola sematla sa bofelo.If you are not strong, it can even break you. Matebatso o ne a le maratong shame. I just wish the guy can just approach her, ba jole. She needs to experience, what some of us are going through. Heartbreaks!

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