Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 63 - Mzansi Stories

Wednesday, October 14

Wizzy

Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 63

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DYGO 63
I thought, can it be true what Kevin just said? He believed my outbursts with Kedi were about Rich? No, I refuse to believe that. Honestly I was over Rich, yes a part of me cared about him, but I loved my husband. I've never been in a position where I was conflicting with my feelings for Kev and Rich. 

I always knew where I stand with all of them. I cared for Rich and I was in love with Kev. Why is my husband now, thinking otherwise about all this?

I thought, for him to want to cancel our honeymoon over this was very low, especially coming from a man who on his wedding eve was flirting with a woman. Nxxxx.

Ohk. I knew I really stoop so low to even engage in that conversation/confrontation with Kedi. The swearing, name calling and being physical, was just way out of my character. My family would be very disappointed in my behavior, especially my mom. She really didn’t raise me to be a street-maid, as my husband calls it.

Above all, I was really disappointed in myself. I can’t even make excuses and say she pushed me to do that. I should have not fall for any of that. I should have been such a lady and made a choice to walk away. There was no reason to even fight her. Phalane is my past..Kevin is my future… I really acted very low.

Kev said to me, in life more often, when the door of happiness closes another one opens but often times we focus on the one that is closed and neglect the one wide opened for us. He said, he thinks I didn't shut the Rich'man door properly; hence my behavior towards Kedibone went out of way. So he was giving me time to sort it out first, shut the door completely and look through the opened door, that He has opened for me and he will wait for me by the door. Bullcrap.

What is Kev trying to say? I cannot let him do that to me. I loved him so much, and I'm wholeheartedly committed to our marriage and our relationship. No way in hell, am I was going to let him cancel our plans because of those two. Never!!!!.

Apparently Kev was asked to delay me to come to the guesthouse, as they were setting up for my suprise birthday bash. A lot of people had left; some were booked in the guesthouse for the party. So Kev held my hand, and said, let’s go for a walk around the place. I thought, this is the time I must convince him of my Love for him, my commitment to him...I said, sure, let’s go.

We started at the place where we made our vows. We sat next to the gazebo. I held his hands and looked him in the eyes and said:

Karabello Tau, Lav'of my life, my husband, ga kena mantswe a mantsi gore ke go botse gore ke ikutlwa jaang ka wena. Few hours ago, nna le wena, stood right here, pledging our love, commitment and promises to each other. Right here, I fell more deeply in love with you go feta any other time in our entire relationship. You are all I ever dreamed of, you are all I ever wanted, all I ever longed for. My life changed. I never loved or needed anyone the way I needed you. Like I said earlier, I know what I want; I know where I stand in this marriage. I have never doubted or been in between. I always knew you and I are distant for each other. We have withered the storms and came stronger. ..
For you to stand there, thinking I have unresolved feelings for my ex, shocked me. You know why? It shocked me to think that you can doubt me like that. I have never given you a reason to doubt me not a slightest. For you to think, me fighting with my friend meant I was still hung up on Rich, clearly proves you have doubts about me and you clearly don’t trust me and trust in the commitment I made few hours ago. If that’s the case, I must say, I am disappointed in you and the little faith you have in me. Granted, I was out of line, but Ultimatums and Conditions Lavo? I am hurt.

I can’t believe, you of all people would be so quick to judge me. So quick to be angry and even make conclusion about something as petty as that… I cannot believe all this, I can’t believe you. For you, want or contemplate to cancel our Honeymoon because of something like that, really Lavo, that’s upset.

Have you forgotten our promise? The one we made years ago? If you have, let me remind you….

Remember when I first came to your place unannounced few months re simolotse go ratana? Early in the morning when I found you at your apartment with Zikhona? Remember how hurt I was; remember how I accused you of being a two-timing jerk? How I was prepared to give up on you? Remember how I doubted your love for me? Remember that? He shook his head. Yes Kev, I was about to let you go when you begged me to stay. You asked me not to give up on you, on us. You told me how Zikhona was just a ghost from your past who didn't have a place in your future? How she was just throwing herself on you? How you convinced me that you never slept with her the previous night? How she “supposedly" acted like you and she were an item? How you convinced me that she was trying to mess things up for us? How she was begging you to take her back? Even after she made me think you too were still in love?

Remember how you hold on to my hands while I was slipping away and leaving you and her in your apartment? Remember what I told you later when you came following me? How you cried so terrible and telling me, you are nothing without me? Do you remember Kevin?

As I was saying all that, we were both crying. Hai shame, Kevin and I can cry hey. We do it more often; we feel each other’s pain. We let go and be in the moment.

My husband wiped my eyes with the back of his hand, le nna ke be ke dira the same.

Then I continued...

Wa gopola Tau, o bile wa ntshepisa legodimo le Lefatshe, you swore I was the only woman for you, you promised that you will never do anything to jeopardize us. You told me I'm your world. You asked for my forgiveness and you were so sincere. I didn't believe you, especially because I walked on you, in a compromising position, as if you were making out with her in your place, on your couches. You claimed she forced herself on you. It was just too hard to believe, but one thing you said was that you loved me, and that I know who I fell in love with.

You admitted to have messed up, by letting her spend the night at your place, but you assured me, with everything you had, that nothing and I mean nothing happened between the two of. You asked me not to dwell on what I saw and what I thought might have happened, you said I must focus on who I know you to be. You said, I should look inside my heart, and inside yours, and ask myself if you are lying to me, and if you can jeopardize your love for me over that crazy ex of yours. You said I will find my answers, just by listening to my heart and your heartbeat. You said I must not focus on Zikhona, but on our plans, and the love I had for you.

Those words, they turned my heart around. I thought of my love for you and how good you have been with me. I instantly believed you; I instantly looked at you, and knew in my heart that you are not capable of hurting me, not like that. Even after believing in you, I asked you to give me time to digest and to deal with my feelings, and I went on and asked you to go deal with your feelings for her. I asked you to go and let her out of your heart, your life and your place for good. I told you, I never want to hear that she was anywhere near you or your place. I gave you ultimatums and conditions.

I remember vividly, chasing you away, telling you to go back to clean up your mess and I said when you are finished and you knew for sure that she was gone for good; you may come back for me. Only then, I would consider forgiving you.

Do you remember Kevin?

He nodded.

Kevin: “Yes shuga, I remember that, so vividly.”

Nna: “If you remember that, tell me what you said when I gave you those conditions.”

I said touching his face with both my hands.

He cleared his throat.

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