Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 112 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, October 15


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 112


DYGO 112
My drive home was very long, I was deep in thoughts thinking about the challenges woman face in their lives. I thought of all the woman in my life and their stories. I thought of how some of them have been broken down and still stood by their marriages. I thought of Batso, Tsitsi, Mmamane Gaba, Reatli, Fikile and My mom. All these woman had husband who cheated on them, yet they forgave their husband and continued to love them through the hurts and pains.

I also thought of Obakeng and Tshwarelo my two brave friends , this two women, have given cheating a sexy meaning.

Obakeng ( aka Baksy ) had stuck in her broken marriage but was now hitting back with cheating. Then there was Tshwarelo ( aka Relo) who was married to a sweet guy but she classified him as boring and not adventurous so she just wanted excitement nje.

When it is more common for woman to be cheated, they became the cheaters. Mmm, it was interesting yet scary. Especially in the society that we live in.

Society expects women to do and be satisfied with what men tell them or offer them. To be a woman means to be inferior to men. It means that you are expected to greatly desire your husband. It means that you are expected to submit to men. When a woman acts out against these expectations, others act out against her.

I must say I don't support being unfaithful to your husband but, we cannot judge this woman who decide to seek whatever they are seeking outside of their marriages or relationships for whatever reasons..

Obakeng shocked me beyond words by dropping such a bombshell. I never in a million years imagined her doing that. Cheating on JK? Yoo, she used to be so terrified of him, she was so submissive, she abide by all his rules. I wondered how she managed to explore that option? I knew she was under surveillance. She could not even go visit her own mom or family without being stalked or constantly being questioned about her whereabouts.. Jk would call her every minute whenever she was visiting anyone other than his family or whenever we were out with ladies .She used to have her cellphone in her hands, she did not want to miss JK's call, or else all hell would break lose.

Yaa, this was such a 360 degree turn of events. I spend close to two hours with her, not once during those hours did I see her checking her phone nor looking edgy. She was too relaxed. I must say, this affair had changed my friend completely. I hated to admit that she was more happier than any other time in her adult life. She was really living.

I was hurt by the fact that JK used to beat her up. I hated him more for that. Yoo, no man should ever lay their hands on any woman. I don't care what the woman did or said. A man who does that must be removed from society, aye ko sekgweng a ilo dula le diphologolo.

I felt myself supporting Obakeng and Keith's affair because It brought so much joy in my friend's life.

That animal JK deserves everything yet to come and to be treated like that. Nxxx

Women cheat for different reasons. Obakeng's reason for cheating were valid, reasonable though not acceptable. She told me point blank that she was cheating on JK because along the route, she lost her self-esteem.Now having another man complimenting and praising her was a sure confidence and esteem booster. Mmmm

She felt like nothing more than a mother, housekeeper and wife who keeps the family running smoothly. She was feeling frumpy and unattractive. Her self-esteem was in the gutter…she no longer felt sexy, beautiful or desirable. She was married to a man who treated her like a piece of rubbish and took their marriage for granted.

Enter into the picture Mr. KayCee who showered her with compliments , showed interest in her emotionally, told her she was beautiful. A man who looked at her and saw something other than a mother, housekeeper and wife. A woman who was having issues with low self-esteem was a sitting duck for a man like KayCee. She may find herself willing to throw caution to the wind in order to find the validation she needed and that she was not getting in her marriage.

She also said her anger drove her to have an affair. She said there was no better way to get back at a husband who has cheated than to cheat yourself. I don't know about tit for tat, or two wrongs making it right...but one thing true....was that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

I thought, JK brought this to himself. He damaged Obakeng. It was true that if you want to bring out the worst in your wife let her doubt your fidelity. I know amidst their problems, Obakeng had been a devoted wife and mother. She had spent years putting her family and marriage first, ahead of her own needs. Until one time she caught JK with his young lover and now she was hell bent on getting revenge especially now that she was financially stable and doesn't depend on JK anymore. She was hitting back hard and there was nothing anyone could do even Mr control freak Jabulani mighty Khoza himself. He had lost all the hold he thought he had over her. Unfortunately I don't feel sorry for him. Not a bit. You reap what you sow.

Kana what do they say about revenge? Yes, A dish best served cold. JK was really in for a shock of his life...

Unlike Obakeng, Tshwarelo Ledimo 's reason to cheat on her husband Kagiso was emotional starvation. She and Kagiso have no children yet. They have been struggling to conceive and now they both bury their pain in their work. They have the big house, the expensive cars and the prestigious lifestyle they believe will make them happy. Bothata ba bone is that they work so hard to accumulate material things , keep up with the ins and outs of their expensive taste and neglect their relationship with each other while chasing platinum…. Tshwarelo ( aka Relo) has gone to the extreme by cheating on her husband.

Relo says there was no romance in their marriage. Any emotional attachments are to the “things” they’ve acquired over the years.

She recently told me she was “lonely in her marriage” because Kagiso was forever working.I told her that I was also lonely, but I don't go running into another man's arms for comfort or whatever I was missing from my own husband. I have to understand that my husbee was working hard for us. Well I guess as women and as friends, we have different ways of dealing with challenges. So her way was cheating and mine was patience and self-preservation.

It's true that when some woman feels lonely and no emotional attachment to their husband, they go looking for emotional attachment or some distraction elsewhere or substitution to the lack thereof, either they resort to drugs, alcohol, or bury themselves in their careers or yes, go cheating.

That’s what Relo was doing. She said she goes outside her marriage to seek for excitement.

I have heard of men who are serial cheaters…they cheat for the thrill of it. Not that they are lacking intimacy in their marriages, but nje fela, sleeping with other people other than their wives excites them. There are also women who are thrill seekers , just like Relo. She loved Kagiso, and would never entertain the thought of leaving him but she constantly needed a little something extra outside her marriage.

Problem ka Relo, o rata too much attention. Problem ka di thrill seekers in my opinion is that , they constantly want their husband to display affection and be touchy, and when their husband , for some reason, don’t give that affection, whether intentionally or unintentionally, ba ba frustrated. They always believe and have the feeling that their spouse should not keep their hands off them. They want to be wanted, to feel sexy, seek too much attention and want to be assured that they turn their husband on every time they walk in the room, all the time. When they loose that feeling, they go looking for it outside the marriage.

That’s how Relo was.Never satisfied....

Not only about affection , but about everything in her life. She wanted Kagiso to give her the world and yet she was never satisfied. She always wanted more and more.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Relo, a lot, she was one of my bests buddies … She was that kind of a woman who go for what she wants and she doesn't settle for less. She was straight forward as well. The only thing that worried me about her, was that she was too obsessed with materials and 'Le good life' so much that, sometimes she comes across as unpleasantly arrogant , proud and too insensitive. She would boost about what she had and what she had achieved.

Yes she was educated, she holds a Director position at Department of Finance, she is gorgeous, she has MBA, she was financially well-off but she was just never satisfied and always competing with everyone around our circle of friends…She doesn't want to be outclassed. She doesn't mind buying every new version of everything just to be ahead of everyone. You can either love her or hate her … I have learned to ignore her… Besides our husbands were friends and she was fun to be with.

When I first met her, that day at Club Coco, she was dating Itumeleng, Kevin's friend. According to her, Itumeleng was not a high achiever, He was just a Sales Rep, who earned so little. Whereas she, at the time was a Finance Manager at Reserve Bank. She told me that Itumeleng's salary won't give her the kind of lifestyle she deserved. That’s when she cheated with Kagiso, Kevin and Kgosi’s friend. They dated only 5 months then got married. Kagiso was then, a Marketing Manager at VW. So according to her, He had potential of offering her the extravagant lifestyle she had in her mind. She moved in with Kagiso, who was then, staying at a house in Lombardy. Five months later after moving in she renovated her "house", and still, she was unhappy. She told me that she wanted to move. In her own words she said " Residential address is important". She pushed Kagiso to buy a house in Houghton as the address suits her. Kagiso did as madame wanted… He always does whatever she wanted.

One time Kgosi invited us for house warming at his new place in Centurion. Yoo yoo, I must say, we felt like we were in heaven, their place was beautiful in a beautiful fancy estate. The furniture was to die for. Madam Relo being Madame, upon returning from Kgosi's, she started pressuring Kagiso that they must to an estate. Poor Kagiso, was like a money machine, always waiting to provide heaven to dearest Tshwarelo. He had to work very hard to uphold his wife's expensive needs, taste and finer things in life.
If Kagiso doesn't provide, for whatever reasons, she always threatens him that she will go out to look for someone who can. Kagiso wa mo rata, and he tries to please her al the time, but she was one impossible woman who never get satisfied. So hence she can pressure Kagiso to work hard and when he comes home tired, she doesn't understand, she takes that as being rejected or denied intimacy, that is when she goes out to get a man to sex her. Yaa that's Relo for you.

I stopped thinking about Obakeng and Relo.

I was just grateful for my own life. Kevin and I have our own fights and stuff, but we always sort it out. We communicate about anything, we try to keep each other informed about any concerns, complains and compliments. I can't imagine us going these route like our friends. It was really a heartbreaking journey. I might not know what drives a couple apart, I might not know who between the two started it, or who drove or pushed the other to be what they have become, all I knew was that somewhere in between someone stopped talking. That’s what happens in a lot of relationships. When one stop talking to the partner, definitely they are talking to someone else or something else.

I went deep in thoughts about my own marriage. Trying to think of any time Kev and I have been distant and or not communicating, and I could not recall. Joy escaped my heart, thinking that we were definitely on a right track.

Apart from us not spending enough time together for a while now, our marriage was unshakable.

Reserving this romantic weekend will give us time to reconnect, recharge and rekindle our relationship. We will be reminding each other how important our marriage was , nor matter how hectic and busy we have been …My husband had spared this time from his busy schedule so that we could focus on each other for a change … With the kids and both helpers away, I was looking forward to our quiet and intimate weekend …

We planned a romantic dinner for two at a restaurant in Melrose Arch then sex all night long. It’s been dry season. We haven't been having proper love making session. It was either quickies or none. So this weekend we must do our Kamasutra love making, in every room in the house, nanny's quarters included...We will be all alone, so why not..

I giggled and dismissed my silly thoughts but joy filled my heart, even my jj was rejoicing to the thought of being given some love...

Mmmm I am truly in love with my Life. I was truly so blessed, so thankful and so grateful....

God has been too good to me. Both our careers were blooming, our business was doing great, our kids were growing perfectly fine.

But most importantly: We were in love. I was still head over heels with my Husband.

Nothing can shake that. Nothing at all. I put on our favourite song, Everything I do, I do it for you....I remembered our wedding day...When Kevin promised me heaven on Earth and declaring his undying love for me. Its true, everything my husband was doing was for me,the kids and us. He was building our Legacy.... My Endless Love . My forever Luther mmm I sang along with Brandy......

I was Loved...I was content.

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