Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 107 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, October 15


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 107


DYGO 107
When I say my mom in law is such a control freak, and would stop at nothing to always push things her way . I seriously mean so. I don't see her ever changing to be something else , she was just a mean machine.

Ohk my mom is more a hardcore Christian woman, everything she does, she base it on Christianity just the way she raised us. She is however open minded on other people’s believe although she never comprises on hers. Mmatsale is a Christian woman as well, who also believes in ancestors and traditional healers. Fair enough. I'm married to her son, which I respect her for. She really raised a strong man. Kevin however, as he grew up, he got his own identity, he hated traditional rituals and all the stuff that he grew up around. I understand his mom used to impose those things on them. Apparently, that is why MaNthabeleng and her mother in law ( the late Nkhono Mmalereku) never saw eye to eye because of their clashes in believes and morals.
Yoo my mother in law was just a handful I tell you. I wonder if we would ever get along.

On Sunday morning, Kev called me to our bedroom , since I was sleeping with mama and the kids in the yellow room, ( remember I won the bet, ngwana wa rona o a neng a iphitlhile, turned out to be a girl, so the price was that mawelana will spend time in the room that I decorated until on their 1st birthday). So we were in that room when Kevin called me.
I went to our bedroom to find out what my husband wanted. Kev showed me a black plastic bag, full of traditional herbs and mixed muthis.

I was surprised to see those stuff and asked him gore o di fumane kae? Apparently before his mom came to hospital, to see the kids, she went to her traditional healer and got some stuff for the kids which she secretly gave to Kev.
He said his mom said, we should burn them inside the kids' bedrooms and some we must bathe them with for 7 days." Otlelang mosadi o matsogo tlhe, claps once."

I asked Kevin gore ke dilo mang tse, and hobaneng re tshwanetse go di sebedisa? Ka mmotsa gore hobaneng ena a di nkile ho mme wa hae? I was really mad, to think we slept with those stuff in our home? He was hypnotized by his mother. He was saying maybe we should use them, surely they are not harmful. He even went on saying, o godisitswe a di sebedisa, ke oo kajeno he turned out fine. Mme wa hae means well and cares about the twins, just as much. Ga kesa wela fo fatshe ke manyala a Kevin was saying that moment, I must be a strong woman.

We really debated the issue for a while until mama called me back to help her with the kids.

I was mad. Kani's bedroom was not far from ours, actually it was the next door to ours. Apparently mom overhead the disagreement. So as I entered the room, Kev was behind me going downstairs. My mom being the peacemaker, said Kani and Kaho ke di-Tau, so maybe, I should let di-Tau decide what to do with their own. She said maybe for the first week, she should not sleep with us and I should burn those stuff and bathe bana ka tsona. She didn’t want to appear as if she was the one refusing me to use them. Yes she doesn’t believe in those stuff but she suggested that I relive her from looking after the kids for a week while Kevin and I use them.

Oh No my mom didn’t just say I must use those things on my babies tlhe. She could see on my face that I was not agreeing with her. She continued with the lecture. Are ke lenyalo. Are when I go to Rome, I must do what the Romans do. Even if its not what I believe in. She said she will pray for me and the kids. Yooo, I was stunned by what mama was saying. To some extent she was right, but my problem was, if they are good stuff, why Mmatsale a di file Kev a le esi behind my back? Why a sa mpitsa , nna, mme wa bana and explain all this? A re bontshe tsona re le babedi and explain how to use them, what were they for etc.

Hai maan, I didn't like any of that, at all. I told mama gore those stuff will be burned and used over my dead body. Ke nna mme wa bana bale. It is my duty to protect them, decide for them. Not Nkhono wa bone. Ke a hana ka nnete. Le kgale.

I was mad at Kev, He even noticed ka Lunch gore I was mad and fuming. After lunch I went upstairs to check on the babies. They were napping, that's what they seem to be doing, eat sleep, pee, poo and play. They were very easy babies though. They ate a lot. I was pumping and expressing milk almost every 4 hours. I would freeze more, but still, go ne go jewa tlhe. I was planning to exclusively breastfeed them for 6months.

While I was admiring my sleepy prince and princess, Kevin came and held me on my waist for a few minutes. He whispered in my ears.

Kev: "we are blessed to be the proudest parents to those kids. Look at how peaceful they seem. Mm No worry in the world. It’s like they know they have us. To think that they depend on us to make good decisions in their best interest. That’s quite something neh?"

He turned me around, facing each other. I had tears coming out of my eyes. He wiped them and asked me what was wrong.

Yoo, I snapped.

Nna: "What is wrong Kevin, are you serious about that question?. You standing there pretending that you don't know why I'm mad? Why I’m hurt? Why I'm disappointed? You stand there saying we are blessed to have those two innocent and fragile people lying there, and that they depend on us to protect and make good decisions for them. That's so rich coming from you. You Kevin. You are willing to compromise their health by bringing stuff in the house, without checking first with me. Is that your idea of protection? Really Kevin! Don't patronize me tuu, I am their mom, I want to make decisions for them, and not be cornered into things I do not feel comfortable doing nor believe in. You Karabello, you went and let your mom decide how we should raise our kids , how we should protect them? Really Kevin?"

We had baby monitors in the kids bedroom for whenever the kids are asleep and we were downstairs. So when we went down for lunch, I took them with me. I guess mama must have heard us through the monitors, because she came rushing upstairs.

Mama: " Marumo fatshe bathong, le tla tsosa bana tlhe, ke kopa le iseng matshwafo fo fatshe tlhe. Le buisane sentle, le gone go rarabolla taba ya lona",

Mama returned downstairs, leaving us still stunned and frozen in the kids' bedroom. I pulled him to our bedroom, closed the door and took him to our bedroom balcony. I continued, but this time I was so calm.

Nna: "Lavo, I'm sorry for lashing out on you earlier. I let my emotions control me. Ke kopa re bue ka taba ena, rationally as adults, husband and wife and most importantly, as parents. Ke kopa hape hore, when we discuss this, ebe nna le wena ba tla nkang qeto hore, re batla ho hodisa bana ba rona joang. E seng hoya ka thato ya mme wa hao, kampo mme waka. What ever decisions about the welfare and upbringing of our kids, you and I must do what is best for them, first and foremost, then what is comfortable for us. No guns against our heads by anyone. Only God."
I was holding my husband's hands. Ke ithobile, ke le boikobo.

I continued..

Nna: "One more thing, I want us to discuss this during the week because I want us to think things through before we talk. It's going to change how we are going to run our lives, going forward. So please clear your calendar, we are going somewhere peaceful and quiet on Wednesday. We are going to talk. I'll express a lot of milk so that mama and DK will not run out of milk. For now, can we be good parents and love our kids?

He nodded and said " fair enough. Wednesday it is."

Tuesday night came, I was looking forward to our appointment, even though I didn't know what Kevin's decision would be, I knew mine. The Kids were only 6 days old, and already I was going to spend two hours without them. It was hard, but it needed to be done. Once and for all. All these was for their own good and well-being.
Earlier in the day when mama was bathing the kids, their umbilical stumps were coming off. Mama asked me what are we planning with regards to discarding them?

Mama told me gore with all her kids, papa told her to dig a little hole mo tshimong ya ko Mmatau and bury the stumps there . That’s where all our stumps are buried. Makgolo also said to my mom, "nor matter where the kids go, dikalana tsa bona remains ko mmung wa kwa Mmatau.

Gaabo motho go thebe phatswa. No doubt hey.

So mama wanted to know maikutlo a ka le Kev's ka taba ya dikalana tsa mawelana. I later told Kevin. He said he will ask his dad. I was relieved he didn't say mme wa gagwe. I know DaddyT is such a wise and fair man. He wil advise him properly.
Wednesday came, I was looking forward to the chat with my husband.

Kevin woke up early, he had a meeting in Vanderbijlpark. Our date was at 16:00, so I had time to bond with my kokoberries. I decided that, I will learn how to bathe my kokoberries, with the help of mama. Ever since re buile ko sepetlele, mama o ne a ba tlhapisa. While bathing the kids, kalana ya Kani ene ya wa. I took a wet wipe and wrapped it in. I called Kevin and told him. He said I should put it safe and also asked about Kaho's stump, if sona ha se ise sewe naa?. I said, wa itse gore mosimane wa gago o rata go inkela nako ya hae. Remember when I gave birth, He wanted his alone time in my tummy and also took his tie to greet us with his cry. We laughed. Boys are really slow when it comes to growth.

Kevin said he was missing us. I told him we missed him too and we hung up.

Around 10:30 , kokoberries were nice and fresh and clean, well fed and now they were sleeping. Mama and I then went downstairs. While eating breakfast with mama, I received a call from my mother in law. That is one call I always dread to answer. I waved my phone towards mama gore a bone ke mang. She laughed

Mama: “fetola mmatsale waago, wa itse o tlile go letsa go fitlhela o be o e fetola."

Nna: Dumela mme, le ntse le tsoha hantle?

I said, smiling over the phone as I answered the call. I wanted to sound bubbly.

Mme: "Re ya hantle Koti, le phetse hantle lona? Ba ntse ba hola bakwena? Nkgono Tsholo ena , o hantle?"

Nna: "Eya mme, re hantle kaofela, bakwena ba hola letsatsi le letsatsi tlhe mme. Re leboha fela Ramasedi ha re babaletse. Ntate Tau ena o ntse a le hantle?"

Mme: "Eya, le rona re hantle Koti, kaofela. Koti, ke letsa mapabi le bana, Ntate wa mafatlha o ntetseditse hoseng, a njwetsa hore kujoana ya Kananelo se e wetse. Jwale, ke ile ka mo jwetsa hore a hle a ho jwetse hore le tla tlameha ke ho emela ya Kaho e we. Ha di setse di wele kaofela, le di beye hantle, ke tlo hloka ho di tsaya, ke gone ho di boloka lapeng mona, moo tsa baabo di leng teng. Re a utlwana Koti? O tla ho hlalosetsa hantle , ke buile le ena. Sentse re tla le bona beke e tlang. O hlokomele diTawana tseo tsa Nkhono o dumedise le Nkgono Tsholo."

Nna: Holokile mme ke tla buisana le Karabello. Re tla le bona ha le se le fitlhile. Ba dumele kaofela.
I said as I hung up.

Joowe, Mme Enwa. Ka nnete oa nhlolela. I told mama what gruella just said. We laughed.

Mama: "Ke lenyalo ngwanaka."

That’s my mother in-law for you.

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