Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 90 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, October 15


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 90


I went back to my office, obviously passing through Zuraider's. Her door was wide opened, so she saw me rushing passed the door without even looking her way. She called me, of which I ignored her and paced faster in my office. I closed the door and sat in front of my computer screen, just starring and in deep thoughts.

I was thinking of last night's sexual flop, Kev's concerns, Zuraider’s confirmation about my husband's concerns and now what sis Zodwa just said.

It was lunch time, and I was starving; I had pork ribs and roast veggies for lunch. I thought maybe I should go warm them and go to Zuraider and apologies for my earlier outburst. I went to the kitchen, warmed up my lunch, and smsed Zuraider to join me for lunch ko eating area.

She replied immediately that she was on her way. Hardly five minutes later, she was by the canteen – eating area. She also warmed her lunch and joined me where I was now seated. She pulled her chair and sat down. For a few seconds or a minute we kept quiet. Then I spoke first.

Nna: “Choma, you must give me recipe of that, pointing in her lunch box.”

She had a stuffed chicken breast that smelled divine. She laughed and said, I was teasing her.

Zu: “Yo Choma with a chef like DK, you don't have to sweat about recipes. You just tell her what you want, she does everything.”

We shared a laugh and the ice was broken. I was eating my ribs and for some reason, the taste was not nice. It was not as tasty as last night.

DK dished out same leftovers we had for supper. I was put off , I continued with my roast veggies and offered Zuraider the remaining rib.

She took it and offered half her chicken. I took it, just as I put it towards my mouth, I almost threw out but stood up and rushed to the nearest bathroom.

I got there and threw up. It must be those ribs, I thought. Maybe they were off because I brought them from home, and forgot to put them in the fridge when I get to work. They stayed on my desk for almost six long hours.

Normally sis Zodwa takes them to the kitchen fridge for me, but today I had back to back meetings and did not see her, hence they sat that long on my desk.

I rinsed my mouth and wiped it off and went back to Zuraider. I told her that it must have been the offish ribs and asked her to not eat them.

Haaa, I was too late, she finished it all. She was raving about how delicious and tender they were. She even dismissed my concerns about them being offish. Compliments to chef Dikengkeng, she said.
I let her be and I could not continue eating. I drank my juice and looked at her.

Nna: “Choma, I must apologies for earlier in your office. I was really out of line. I'm the one who asked for your opinion and after getting it and not handling the truth well, I lashed out on you. Please forgive me choma.”

She pulled both my hands towards her and held them a little up..

Zu: “it’s ok Choma; I know how weight can be such a sensitive issue to deal with '. I get a lot of people, even my kids telling me that I am big, I am kind of used to it. It hurts sometimes but, I just don't have a motivation to do something about it. My husband Pat won’t even offer to walk with me upstairs in our house, unlike you, your husband is supportive and prepared to go this journey with you. Don't take it wrong. Just think about it. If you don't want to jog or gym, tell him. If honestly you don't see a need to go jogging, maybe do some aerobics class or buy some exercise DVD and rock it in the comfort of your home. But keep busy in a positive way. Don’t stuff yourself with food only. Let the steam out my Choma. There is a say that ' nothing tastes better than being thin', I say, nothing tastes divine like being healthy. The idea is for you to be healthy. That's all. Come; let’s go buy that slice of cheesecake, just one last time, Monday, we starting to eat healthy. Let’s motivate each other.”

She said pulling me up.

We went and bought the two slices of cheese cake and went back to our offices.

I was not in the mood to work, plus being Friday was not helping. I sat there, and decided to surf the net. Firstly I checked my calendar. When last was I on my periods? It was 25 September. Arg, ever since my miscarriage I was just irregular, so, maybe ditla tla whenever they want. I was not bothered. I went ahead browsing the internet.

I typed" fatigue and emotional eater"

A lot of stuff came through. I clicked on the second one, rephrased, " I am very moody, emotional and always eating, what can be the cause?"

An article caught my eye, It was about Depression: causes, types and symptoms

Everyone goes through tough times at different points in their lives; I continued reading till I spotted the Symptoms of depression:

People experience depression in different ways depending on the type of depression and individual differences. Common symptoms across all types of depression include:
Sadness that won’t go away; Feeling irritable or anxious; Loss of interest in usual hobbies and activities; Loss of appetite; Irregular sleeping habits; Unexplained outbursts of yelling or crying; etc.

Everyone feels or acts like this from time to time. But for people experiencing depression, the feelings might be more severe and constant-they don’t go away over time and they’re not easily explainable.

I got a chill on my spine. Can I be suffering from a Depression? A lot of symptoms here matches what I have been feeling and how I have been acting.

Sis Zodwa said earlier, “Sometimes depression has no apparent cause. However, in other cases, it may be caused by one or a number of factors, which include:
A stressful event in one’s life: events, such as a family divorce or conflict, physical or sexual abuse, bullying, rape, the death of a loved one, or a relationship break-up.

What if she was right, maybe I need to get counseling,
professional help. I suffered a loss of a loved one. After my miscarriage, I didn't think it was important for me to go speak to someone about my feelings. I felt better talking to God, my husband, my mom and pastor. It was enough then. So now, sis Zodwa thought I should explore the counseling route. Hai, I really don't know. I will run this past my husband pele and re tla bona gore re direng. Depressed? Am I suffering from depression?

It was almost chaile time. Friday the 25th, payday for Kevin. I get paid on the 20th, so mine was finished. I was looking forward to a spending spree weekend. I packed my stuff and rushed off. I wanted to beat the traffic to Fourways which can be a nightmare at times. It was 15h00. Days like these, I really missed my old place, it was just around the corner.

Since we moved to Dainfern we always complained about the traffic.

I must say, apart from traffic, I was so in love with my new home. It was really gorgeous and spacious. I fell in love with a double storey home, when I met Kev. His Rosebank apartment, made me dream of a home with stairs and a balcony that had a beautiful view. Oh yes, We build our dream double storey house ko Dainfern, rubbing shoulders with the rich, and the loaded.

My Sunninghill home was still available. I opted not to sell it. It had beautiful memories and it was my first big investment .I took all my three years bonuses from Investec and invested in my house, so it was now owing so little. In a year's time, it will be paid-up.

Kevin paid up his Rosebank home, and he now considers it as Tau family house. Her little sister Retha has been staying there ever since I moved out. I also decided to copy him. I wanted to turn mine into Dire family house. I asked Omo and Paula-Kevin's cousin to occupy it. Rethabile kicked her out, so she had nowhere to go.I told them to look after it. They will be responsible for paying the rates and taxes, water and electricity bill and garden services. Which was close to nothing. I took over the bond and insurance repayments from Kevin as he will have to resume paying for the new house. He wanted to continue paying my bond, but I could not let him. Besides I was earning enough to help out with responsibilities. So since that was my baby, ka nnete, I was glad to be paying for it.

My grandmother, Makgolo Mmakoma, taught us that it is a man's duties to care for his family with everything. A man wears long financial pants. As a woman/ wife, you can, now and then assist with little stuff. Le teng ga o gapeletsege, no one should force you to, it must come from your heart.

She said a man is the one who asks a woman to marry him, a woman then leaves her own family, take over his surname, support him in his career, get pregnant, give birth, your body changes, you lose your figure.

She says still as a woman you must ensure you look good, partly for you and partly for him, you also make the house he bought for you and the kids, a home, turns the food he bought into a meal for him. That’s more than enough support. He has only one responsibility, to go out there and make money to enable you to do your many responsibilities.

So as Makgolo said, o tshwanetse go ja, mofufutso wa phatlha ya monna wa gago. Ore setswana sare, Korwe ga ke je, ke bapalela tsetse. So, a man who can refuse his wife that much, was not worthy. A man is meant to slaver for his family, and a wife to spend her husband's hard earned money. It’s as simple as that. Makgolo wa me was ghetto like that, but also wise...

She was right though. As woman, re tshwanetse go ba smart ,. She said we must open our eyes wide while opening our legs even wider….

A marriage is meant to be beneficial to woman, because honestly speaking, we lose a lot when we get married. Ore as woman we must not let our husband turns us into unpaid slaves. O re re seke ra iphetola di beetroot, ra jewa inside and out. She rolls like that , that’s my grand ma’

I must say I inherited some qualities from her and I took to heart all her lessons she gave us. I was not about to be an independent women in my marriage hell no. Le ga nkabe ke earner salary that was more than his, I would not wear the financial pants. Yes, I would help, there and then, to some extent, but most responsibilities would still fall on him.

I was lucky I met a man who knew his role. Anything huge that I can buy, my husband always reimbursed me for it and still gives me WIMA (Wife monthly allowance) .Yep, I was getting a second salary and Kevin would never even ask me gore ke dira eng ka chelete ya me.

He knew the golden rule, what's mine was mine, what's his was ours. Pheto Ke Tuu.

I really got myself a Real man. Go a bonagala gore o godisitswe sentle. He knows his place. I respect his parents for raising such a great man such a gentle, loving and caring soul.

Ka nnete nna ke ne ke nyalegile. If I had to say so myself. My husband was everything I needed and wanted in my life. Yes, he was a little busy lately, but everything that mattered was going alright. God has been good.

Apart from some little ups and downs tsa lenyalo, my Life was flouring, my marriage was solid and I was so happy…

I was living my Life like it was golden.

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