Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 41 - Mzansi Stories

Wednesday, October 14


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 41


I woke up with so much joy in my heart, especially after such an intimate bridal shower with the people who matters the most in my life. Ke ne ke laiwa,ke fiwa di life's lessons about marriage, how to be a perfect wife, what to do during the worst times of For better for worse etc. I was overjoyed, merely because, it wasn't from random people, but my own mothers, sisters & best friends, who already walked this journey, and are still walking in it. I could relate, because I grew up seeing them in their marriages, especially my gran, mom, sister & sister in law.

I always admired how they carried themselves in their marriages ,the united front they displayed, how God is at the center of their marriages, how they seem to relate to their partners amidst the storms they came across etc. To me, they knew the ins and out of marriage and now they were preparing me for the journey ahead.

They do have their challenges in their marriage, which is normal, but they knew which battles to fight and which ones to ignore & which ones to give to God. Although, there is no right or wrong way in marriage nor manual about what makes or breaks it, their experiences , wisdom and advises gave me a pretty idea on what I'm entering into.

The Message Album they created for me will be my 2nd reference book of life, 1st being my Holy Bible.

I haven't experienced being a full time wife to Kev. We dated for a very long time before getting married and we were living separate places. In 2003/4 I was working in Momentum - Pretoria & Kev was working in Sasol -Head office in Rosebank. 2005 I got a job at Alexander Forbes - Sandton, moved in with Kev, for about 9 months we ‘vat n sat’, which was so against my principles. I didn't even tell my family that part, me & Kev cohabiting.

Late in 2005, Kev got a better offer at Sasol- office in Vereeniging. He took it & left me in his apartment. We were now in a distance relationship, because of work.
In the middle of 2006, Kev's little sister Rethabile (aka Retha) got a job in one of the Standard Bank branch in Rosebank .She needed a place to stay. Kev asked me to stay with her until she gets herself a place of her own. Since that place belonged to him, I could not object, so I agreed.

Retha moved in, at first we enjoyed each other's company. As time goes on, there was that conflict, my brother's place, my boyfriend's place, type of squabble. We were both not paying rent but we were supposed to buy groceries together. She was spending most of her salary on clothes & good life which was good because, she did not have huge financial responsibilities. She comes from a well off family, her elder sister and brother does everything for her, even her twin Thabiso, always bailed her out financially all the time. She was so reckless with money. Kev once told me, but now I was seeing it.

Come month end, she's always broke with a closet full of expensive shoes, handbags and clothes.
I was left to do groceries alone. I didn't mind much because I was not paying rent , until she made it a habit and when there's plenty of groceries in the pantry, she will throw parties at my expense or invites girlfriends and boyfriends over for dinner. When the pantry e ba empty, she will be nowhere to be found, ena le ditsala tsa gagwe..Nna ke tla be ke bolawa ke tlala fela ke rekile dijo..

Nna le Retha re ne re le dithaka. Ka jalo, ke ne ke ikutlwa ekete o ne a itira mo tonna go nna and she was really taking advantage of me. Sometimes it felt like she was making me pay for staying in her brother's place for free. I decided, its time I hit the road before we mess our relationship or before go ba le bad blood between us.

We stayed together for a whole 7 months. I was really contemplating moving out.Luckily, I got a job offer ko Investec - Sandton. The package was really good. I decided to invest in a property. So I quietly looked for a place of my own. After viewing some few houses, I broke the news to Kevin that I want to move out of his apartment. I told him that I wanted my mom and my family to be able to visit, and that Sunninghill was closer to work. I didn’t bad mouth his sister. Hey, blood is thicker than water.
Finally, I got myself a beautiful place and told Kev that I am moving out.

Kevin was not happy about my decision but eventually He understood why I had to leave. December 2006, I moved to my place. Kevin & I spent Xmas & the whole December holidays together at my new place. I started my new job ko Investec January 2007.

Kev stayed at Three Rivers, Vereeniging, closer to work and I was all by myself in Sunninghill, closer to work. We did make sure we see each other every weekend, holidays and spare times. Although it was not easy for both of us, but we were coping & managing it well. We rotated weekends & holidays.
So, when Kev a fetsa go ntsha makgadi later in the year 2007, we spoke about our living arrangements and how we are going to deal with it, especially now that we were getting married.
Kev said I must resign & move to Three Rivers, be a house wife, I laughed at him. I said he must resign and come be a house husband, he jokingly agreed. We decided to put the subject on hold until we get a suitable solution, that will be fair for both of us.

We continued with our distance relationship, Kev was now pushing for stable home together. The weekend's up and down, traveling between Joburg & Vereeniging was getting to him. He then told me he was considering resigning at Sasol, and looking for a job in Joburg & surrounding areas so that we can be together. I supported the plan to look for a job around. Kev got called for couple of interviews around Joburg.
We prayed so much for him to get offers, we didn't even care if it was for a lesser salary, what mattered was him being here with me.

Early 2008, Kev got a job offer at Eskom - Sunninghill, the offer was not too bad. We decided he should take it. He was supposed to start February. When he handed his resignation, his boss was shocked. He was willing to hold on to Kev & said, he will do anything to keep Kev. He gave him a counter- offer, lucrative increase. Kev explained to him the reasons for his Resignation. Because his boss didn't want to lose him to another company, He agreed to transfer Kev back to Head office - Rosebank.

That was the best move ever. Kev and I have been staying together at my place since March 2008. We are planning to get a bigger place after the wedding, to start our marriage life and a family in a proper home.

After last night, I really could not wait to be a proper wife to mogatsake Kevin. Start a family and live my happily ever after. All the advices I got, I knew Kevin and I will really live by them, and through Gods goodness and guidance.

The big day is finally here, memorable day it was. The day my mom gave birth to me, and the day I'll be saying I do to my man. The sun just rose , it was so bright & beautiful. The fresh breeze of Muldersdrift was hitting my face as I opened my windows and curtains to appreciate the view of Thabongs beautiful garden. The birds were singing sweet melodies. For a while I thought they were singing Happy birthday to me.

For a long time, I forgot about my cake less wedding. Last night before the Bridal shower, my eldest sister Tsitsi asked about the cake story, apparently, Baksy called her while I was crying outside with Kev. So my sister called Aus Pat to find out what happened and what were her plan and a way-forward to sort the mess out. My sister assured me, that whatever the cake story, I must chill and relax, she will sort it out. How,? I didnt know.

My sister is such a reliable person. So for her to say all will be well, I trusted her. So I was no longer too worried, but now and then I was just wondering about the extent of the damage. Was it all damaged, or some parts are ok, or what. But then my sister said I will have a cake at my wedding.

The other thing that made me relax a bit was last night sms from Budgy assuring me that there will be cake at my wedding, come hell or high water, He will make sure. Even if it meant a dummy cake resembling a perfect cake design, there will be cake.

Rest assured He said.

I was now convinced that my wedding will be perfect, against all odds. So ya, I decided to focus on being a Blushing Bride.

Subscribe to this Blog via Email :