Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 56 - Mzansi Stories

Wednesday, October 14


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 56


Tears were running through my eyes, I thought of all the things I have been through with my mom. I remembered the time we found out that my dad was cheating on her, how she tried to hide it from us. I remembered how she stood by papa,through it all. Even when papa was drinking his family down, how Omphi was encouraging her to divorce him, yes, it was such a tough time for everyone, but she, was the stronger one, comforting each and everyone of us.

How she becomes such a strong person, still amazes me. She said to us, when you say I do, you taking a vow to be by your man's side through it all. She always reminded us that, she made those vows, knowing there will be trials and tribulations ahead and she knew God will give her strength to overcome.

I remember when Tsitsi find out about Rendani 's cheating, we all went home to comfort her, as we sat there crying with Tsitsi, mama just kept praising God and asking Him to give Tsitsi strength and courage to move past the hurt. She prayed for forgiveness and asked God to soften our hearts. My mom, she was strong like that.

The Dj played; ‘It wasn't easy by Cece Winans’ as my mom took her seat.

She was overjoyed. She was content. One can ask herself how she remains so humble and faithful after the storms she has experienced? Only a strong person of her caliber can.

I sat there wondering, a tota nka emela tsotlhe tse mme waka or my sister or my friends are experiencing or have experienced in their marriages?

Should Kevin change, what will I do? Few minutes ago I came to a realization,that my husband might be flirting or cheating on me. I could not bring myself to think and dwell on it. I needed to pray about this, fast. I just married Kevin, and I loved him too much. In my heart I prayed I was wrong. Wrong that Kevin and LSG are just colleagues that are too close and miss each other etc.

As I was deep in thoughts and emotional about what mama just said, there were tears running down my cheeks. Kev held my hand, squeezed me tight and handed me a tissue to wipe my face. I did just that. I felt peace filling my soul. Kevin Karabello Tau would never hurt me. No, he loved me that much.

Was I convincing myself, or was it the honest truth? Can Kevin be cheating on me?

Mc announced the next speaker, we all Clapped as the charming man made his way towards the Mc.

Hai, I must say, if I was into sugar daddies and was not getting married to Kevin Tau, I swear I would seduce Ntate Tau senior. That man was way too sexy, handsome and dignified. He doesn't look 63 at all. You would swear he was under 50. My father in law, you are so handsome.

I always teased Kevin gore, Thabiso is more handsome like daddyT, ene o mobenyana go tshwana le mamazala more. He would say yena o motle dipokotong & inside his second pants. I used to love how he says it.He was right though, bontle ba monna bo ka mo dipotleng le ka daarso.

Ntate Motheo stood his handsome self up, he also, briefly welcomed everyone and thank them for coming to share this day with both the Tau and Dire's family.

Something he said, stuck in my heart.

DaddyT: “It seems like just yesterday that I was driving home from the hospital after the birth of my first son, Karabello, My eyes welled with tears of gratitude that evening... or perhaps it was just tiredness after an 11 hour labour! But who am I to claim exhaustion after labour?

Well, my heart and your hearts tell us all that it was gratitude indeed that I felt as I left my wife and new child in the hospital. Since then, gratitude and thankfulness have been a theme throughout our life together ever since that blessed day. That joyous day marked the beginning of a road traveled together, between Karabello and me, his wonderful mother - my lovely wife - and our whole family.

Marriages, like births, mark the beginning of a journey together.

Today, we have marked the beginning of a wonderful new journey, in which Karabello has joined together with the most special, most wonderful woman MaKananelo Obonolo.

Three years ago, ha Karabello a jwetsa nna le mme wa hae, ka motho wa mme, yo a kopaneng le Ena, (I think it was more than that already), I could tell from his voice and excitement just how special Obonolo already was to him.

Kajeno lena, kaofela ha rona mona, re utlwile from Karabello and Obonolo, ha ba etsa ditshepiso tsa bona, just how special they are to each other. Ka nnete, their love and commitment will build a long and joyous union.

Anyway Karabello le Obonolo ha ba hloke dikeletse tsa me. Ntho e nka e buang ho bona ke hore, ha o hlopa molekane, o tlamehile ho tlhopa motho yo o hantle ka mabaka a hantle, a tswang pelong e hantle, jwalo, ke nahana hore, ke seo ba se entseng. I suppose that after 38 years of happy marriage I ought to be able to manage something a bit more constructive.

Karabello mora Tau, ke batla o hopole mantswe ana …all, just and only. You will hear them time and again.Batho ba bomme, are to be loved and not understood.
Ba tlhaloganya language of love, more than anything. Be a wise man,who listens to counsel.

I have 6 things that I will teach you and all the man in here, free of charge, about what woman needs for a Marriage to flourish. Trust me, I had to live by them for 38 long years, and to date, I still do.

1. Bomme ba rata go utlwa mofutho, your Closeness, not only sexual ,things like holding their hands,spend special time with them,go out of your way to do something for her. Mind you, helping around the house is not a bad idea. I never heard of a case of a wife shooting her husband while he was doing the laundry or breakfast. Bomme ba marotong, ba hloka mofutho.

2. Woman wants to be esteemed, honored and cherished. Your wife wants to know that you have her on your mind and heart. She wants to be first in importance to you and feel treasured. She wants to hear you say I’m proud of you. Encourage her, compliment and praise her.Be the first to comment and compliment her on a new dress she's wearing or a new hairstyle.

3. Bomme, ba rata Loyalty. Woman loves reassurance, committed, faithful and loyal man.O ska lebella basadi ba bangwe ka takatso,o phetahatse ditshepiso tsa hao. Ena le lenyalo la lona ebe ntho tsa botlhokwa pele ha dintho kaofela. O mo tsibise ka ntho engwe le engwe eo oe dirang nor matter how small you think it is.

4. Bomme ba rata go phela le monna eo a bang le Kutlwisiso (Understanding).O ka ipotsa gore o tlameha go understand jwang mosadi wa hao? I say, the most powerful weapon you have are your ears,just listen to your wife and she is much more likely to feel understood.Be quick to listen and slow to speak.Never dismiss her feelings,try to identify them,cut her some slack,apologize and admit you are wrong ( even when you are not),pray together,express your appreciation for all she does.Don't try to fix her problems unless she specifically asks for a solution.Never interrupt a woman who is trying to tell you how she feels.

5. Bontate, ebang ba tlisa-kgotso (peacemakers) malapeng a lona - ha ho nale go se utlwane, ntwa mahareng a lona, tension, and or rift. To avoid ongoing arguments, the path to peace is plain; simply say ‘Honey, I’m sorry will you forgive me?’
Do this, le ha o tseba hantle gore ke Ena ya molato haholo.Mosadi wa hao a ka kwata ha kana kang, empa, ha o ka ikopela tshwarelo, ka boikokobetso, she will melt. Admit when you are wrong and apologize. Let her vent her frustrations and hurts out, dont get angry and close her off. Never use bitterness. Always comprise.

6. Bomme ba batla monna ya buang maikutlo a gagwe a phuthulugile (Open). Hopola hore bomme, ba very expressive - responsive,ba batla go bua,ka dintho kaofela out and open hore ba tsebe ho rarabolla bothata ba taba.Ha o ka be wa ska batla go bua dintho, woman shuts off. Big mistake a man can ever make.
Let every man in here heed what I am saying. When a woman believes there is a problem/unresolved issues, when she feels hurt, lonely and neglected,she definitely won't have no interest in responding to you,especially sexually.When a woman's spirit is crushed,her body is unavailable.

Bontate don’t be embittered, angry, and indignant.
Embittered husband can be harsh, cynical, or resentful, instead of being open to his wife, he shuts off his deepest heart, giving the impression that there is very little he finds tasteful about her. Bitter husband has no hope for openness with his wife.The answer to bitterness is to listen gently to your inner man, and reconnect with your wife.

Ke a tseba bontate, we are typically quite closed books when it comes to expressing ourselves.Open yourself to her too. Always seem interested when she wants to talk. Give her full attention. Discuss burning issues with her. Let her know your financial state, possible job changes, or any future ideas and plans.
Karabello, hlokomela mosadi wa gago ka lerato. You lead by example. Your wife will always follow your lead. Ha o leader your family with lies, immorality, doing wrong things. If you come home ka four in the morning, if you spend too much time with friends, if you misuse money,you neglect her, you mistreat her, rest assured, your wife will follow suit. Jwale, be the marriage you want to have.Put Ntate Modimo first in your marriage. Never invite outside influences in to your home. Eba jwale ka Tau, e shwang e sireletsa lelapa la yona, against other wild animals.

Kajeno, I have scored myself another daughter.

MaKananelo, welcome to the Tau family. O Tau kajeno.Re tla emela go bona ditaunyana tse ntsi tse di tla mathang lapeng kwana.

Guests clapped for papa Tau's speech. He went on and said,
After that I had better finish but before that I would like to offer one or two final thoughts.

Marriage is the meeting of two minds, of two hearts and of two souls. It is clear that Karabello and Obonolo are a perfect example of this

May they be blessed with happiness that grows and with love that lasts and a peaceful life together. I wish them enjoyment for today, the fulfillment of all their hopes and dreams for tomorrow, love and happiness always.

Papa Tau (DaddyT) said such moving words.I kept on looking at Kev, ke lebeletse reaction ya gagwe to such deep words and advice. He was just concentrating on his dad.I hope he heard his father, loud and clear.

“What a beautiful day by Chris Cagle” was playing in the background as DaddyT went back to his seat.

I got lost in the song; the lyrics were just too beautiful…

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