Diary of a restless soul Insert 63 - Mzansi Stories

Monday, October 12


Diary of a restless soul Insert 63


Insert 63
I decided not to follow him
i didn't want him to take his anger and the pain of being beaten out on me.
I watched him as he walked away,
my heart was broken.
A part of me wanted to cry.
Khitha: ulilela nto kengok athe.
I quickly wiped my tears.
I didn't realise that i was actually crying.
Sibu: i am sorry bhabha i didn't mean to hurt you.
Me: nooo ( i flashed a smile with tears still streaming down my cheecks)
its not you ohk,
infact i am glad that you stood up for me,
you are like a brother i never had.
Khitha: so why are you crying did nceba hurt you.
Me: physically no but imotionally yes.
I just don't get it.
The past one month everything was fine between nceba and i.
And this past two weeks everything change,
he became so jealous and too control for my liking.
Now he has the nerve to raise his hand on me.
Khitha: well thats relationships girl.
they have seasons.
It can't be summer or spring always,
there's winter and without the rain it can't blossom so it becomes dry and wait for summer to emerge again.
Me: but our winter came in so soon.
I was still enjoying the summer.
Khitha: don't worry things will work themselves out.
And this would be a thing of the past.
And you guys will talk about it and laugh at how stupid it was.
Me: i really hope that will be soon.
Lord knows i love nceba and he makes me happy.
And we were happy all this while i wonder what changed him.
Sibu: don't worry bhabha i am sure he will come around,
he is just a guy
and most of the time we guys do crazy things.
I just hope he won't do something as crazy as getting me arrested ndingayinton ejele mna yini bawo.
Please god don't make him think about going to the police and i promise i will go to church this next sunday just to thank you.
(khitha and i laughed at sibu.
But he looked so sencere).
Khitha: lol ai sibu when you were kicking the guy you didn't ask god for his help.
Now that you realise that you may go to jail you remember god.
Nah nigga just leave god out of this.
Sibu: please shut up khitha your negativity will prevent god from answering my prayers.
(we continued laughing at him.
He went to change his clothes and the party continued).
A week later....
Sibu was still not arrested.
Meaning that nceba didn't get him arrested.
And i haven't heard from nceba since that day.
And i missed him so much.
I wanted to call him but i didn't wanna seem desperate.
Besides i didn't know if we were still dating or what.
It was monday morning.
I had just woke up and a text came through my phone
the minute i saw that it was from nceba my heart beat fast.
I was so nervous,
what if he was dumping me.
I said a lil prayer before opening the message.
Finally i opened it and it reads:
( pariza yam i don't know how many times i wanted to send this message to you but i couldn't do it because i was afraid.
I don't want to loose you.
I just listened to my friends too much lately that i didn't realise they were misleading me.
They have been telling me all sorts of bad things about you
and i guess that kinda got into me.
And i started acting up all so stupid..
I am so sorry please baby forgive me
and please give me a chance,
give us a chance again.
I promise you won't regret it.
I love you pariza yam now and forever).
After reading that message i had mixed emotions.
I was happy he was not dumping me.
And i was angry because he decided to let his friends control our relationship.
I had millions of thoughts going through my mind.
I wondered what his friends told him about me.
And why would his friends talk badly about me,
while they don't even know me that well.
I wanted to reply and tell him that i love him but i wasn't gonna let him get off that easily.
So i switch my phone off incase he decides to call me.
I got off my bed atleast now my mood was a bit elevated.
I fixed my bed and cleaned my room.
When i got out of my room i bumped into my mom in the passage,
well she was still sober for a change.
I passed her but she decided to talk to me.
Mom: molo ntombi how was your night.
Me: fine thanx.
Mom: i know you are angry at me.
Me: please mama don't start ohk.
Not today i am not in the mood for how sorry you are for drinking,
because that song is now boring.
Mom: but i am sorry baby.
I don't know what's got over me.
I just feel the urge to get drunk,
no matter how hard i try to avoid that feeling it always find a way to creep up.
Me: mama this is not you.
You are stronger than this.
The woman who raised us was a fighter.
And she was my role model.
She would never let the problems of this world defeat her.
What i mean is you are better than this.
Please mama stop if not for you
then do it for me.
I still need you,
i still need a motherly love and advice.
I still want to study and work hard so that i can buy you a house.
And with you like this i don't see that happening.
I left her there with tears in her eyes
we that's what she did everytime someone spoke to her.
She would just cry.

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