The Journey Of Life. A cycle Insert 91 - Mzansi Stories

Saturday, October 10


The Journey Of Life. A cycle Insert 91


Thandey Lolo Phewa
"Jeez I wonder what MR motsepez woman is up to now ey mothers........"
The morning had come by so fast, I couldn’t sleep all night through. The sms that Sipxhesihle sent me just made me very anxious about everything. I woke up with a plan to tell Chrissie that I have a few things that I have to do, I will have to come up with a few lies which will her get off my back. There I was waking up in the morning and preparing myself to leave with nothing on my mind but to see myself meeting Siphesihle, Chrissie woke up with a ravishing smile on her face and asked me where I was preparing to go
Chrissie : Good morning baby, how did you sleep? (With a tantalizing moaning voice)
Me : I slept fine (harshly)
Chrissie : Oh...ohk (As she sat up rubbing her eyes) I see that you woke up early this morning, it looks like you are preparing to go somewhere, where are you going? (Innocently)
Me : Uhm, I I I (startering) am going to my see this other old friend of mine, the fact that I live in Cape Town made me loose contact with people that I grew up with, you know
Chrissie : Oh really, if you say so, have a nice journey wherever you are going. You should bring that old friend of yours so that I can meet him (grabbing her gown)
Me : Yes I will bring him, we have a lot of catching up to do but if we get a chance to come here, I’ll bring him so that you can meet him
As we were talking, when Kabo came in the room to tell us that she has prepared breakfast for the rest of the family, there I was acting as if I was happy because of the breakfast but I was not, I had a lot of things to do. I responded to Kabo in a smile and told her that we are coming in a few minutes. Chrissie woke up in a happy mood which I had to go along with because I would not want anyone noticing anything.
We got to the dining hall with a nice breakfast that was done by Kabo, we greeted everyone, as we sat at the table, did our usual prayer. Everyone was in a happy mood but my mind and heart were somewhere else. Kaboentle kept looking at me with some feisty eyes as if she could see that I was absent minded but I ignored eye contact with her. I cant hold this any longer I had to go, I got up and told everyone that I had somewhere to go. Kabo followed me and she told me that she had something to tell me, she explained ‘’Mom has been acting different recently, I do not know what is bothering her, she has been distant from everyone, I have been trying to come up with ways which I could talk to her but I got scared that she might cut me out or even tell me how I like meddling my nose in things that do not concern me. After you come back, please try talking to Mom, I think with you she will be able to open up about everything’’. I looked at her and got into my car and just drove off in an instant speed.
I felt like I was going crazy, my mind was really occupied by a lot of things, I sent an sms to Siphesihle to inform her that I was on my way to meeting her. I hurried there fast and my gps in my car showed me that I have reached my destination. I got out of the car and there was Siphesihle standing there, I approached in an agitated mind not knowing what to expect. As I got closer to her I greeted her and sat down with her
Me : Hi, I don’t have time to chit chat with you, tell me what you called me here for, what secret are you talking about
Sihle : Uhm, this is something that I have hid from you for many years, I tried communicating with you but you always shut me down, I saw that you had a good relationship with that white girl of yours. I tried keeping it together but I cant. I thought that I would be able to do everything by myself but this cannot be a one sided thing, it should be a two sided thing where there is equal support coming from both sides.
Me : What are you talking about? (getting irritated), what is it that you cant keep together?
Sihle : Do you remember the time we were dating back in high school, we were in matric?
Me : Yes I do, we were quite close but you cheated on me because you thought I didn’t give you time and I was highly dedicated to my studies
Sihle : Do you remember the time we had sex for the first time in our relationship?
Me : Yes I do
Sihle : Do you still remember what happened during the time we were having sex, we were both not thinking straight and we ended up having sex without using protection?
Me : Yes, I don’t like where this is going, what are you trying to tell me?
Sihle : That day we had unprotected sex, it was during that time that we had just finished writing our final exams and we wanted to celebrate the fact that the following year you were surely going to University and I thought that I would go with you. I had told you that I was on prevention but the truth is I was not on prevention and I fell pregnant. I didn’t want to tell you because I felt like I would be destroying your dreams of studying further.
Me : What do you mean you fell pregnant? Please don’t tell me that we have a child together, NO, tell me that you aborted that child?
Sihle : Yes we do have a child together and I did not abort that child because my religion says that children are a blessing from God, I could not terminate the pregnancy.
Me : What the hell do you mean that you did not terminate the child, what you did was stupid. I just hope that you are not bringing that child into my life because you want to destroy my marriage
Sihle : Hell no, I wouldn’t do that. I want the child to know her father. You have to face reality and accept that you have a child.
Me : How were you supporting the child all along and why do you need me now? You didn’t need me all along and all of a sudden you need me?
Sihle : On that one, after I got pregnant, I approached your mom, I told her that I am pregnant with your child and I do not want to destroy your dreams of going to University. She came up with the solution that we keep the child a secret from you and she will send me money each month to support the child. She did not mean any harm, she did this because she wanted you to go to school.
As I heard my mother’s name coming out her mouth, everything now made sense of why my mom was acting different. She has been really distant from everyone. I do not appreciate the fact that my own mother kept such a secret from me, this is wrong. I cant believe this, she was even supporting the child behind everyone’s back.
I looked at Sihle with eyes of disbelief because I cannot wrap my head around everything here. I looked at her again and I told her that I have to leave, I have to go home to see that evil mother of mine. She has got a lot of explaining to do. I got into my car, I tried switching it on but tears started flowing down my cheeks. My own mother has disappointed me, why didn’t she tell Siphesihle to abort that child, I would not be in this mess now, I cannot imagine my life having a child now. My first child was meant to be with Chriselda.
I drove off with anger, I wanted to see my mothers face when I break this to her, she has a lot of explaining to do. Chriselda will get hurt to hear such things re-appearing now. NO.
I stopped at my parents house, I entered the house with intense emotions burning inside me, I was sweating, I wanted to get this anger that was inside of me out.
I walked into the dining hall, I looked at my mother with intense eye contact, anger drawn on my face,sweat dripping down my face.

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