Thursday, November 12

Mahlatse Ramatseba

Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 140

Dygo 140
Nna: please god-damned it Kevin tell me you did not kill that woman, please Kevin!
Kev: whoa baybey, I might be a lot of things but I ain’t no Murderer, I am even surprised and hurt that you would think I am capable of murder! she is alive and....
Nna: Phew, thank God she is alive, and that you did not “get rid of her” Anyway, I think I have heard enough about the whole saga. I don’t want to hear no more. Especially anything to do with Sheryl. Any mention of her will make me throw up or land me in ER
Kev: Shuga I thought you wanted to hear everything... The whole truth
Nna: That’s too much.. I don’t think I can handle more, if there is..
Kev: There is, but I guess it can wait if you saying you heard enough.
Nna: Lavo, I think whatever I already heard, has given me a light of the kind of man you became and the kind of people you mixed yourself with. I now know why you cheated on me, why you did what you did and now I am interested on how you are going to sort this thing out and way forward.
Kev: If you rather I don't finish off what I wanted to say, then, I guess it can wait for some other time, but I want to tell you everything, I don't want any secrets between us anymore.
What I just found out was way too heavy, too bigger and too much to comprehend. Kevin maar? How did he develop such coldness in his heart? To keep such damning information away from me? To jeopardize our marriage, our future and our lives like that? Because of what? Money and Power? I was so disappointed. Yes, the puzzle was now a complete picture, I finally understood what happened. And now, after all this, I knew why Kevin was risking our marriage and always rushing to Your Highness Sheryl’s call. He was being threatened and manipulated into all this? Aah, Kevin! What have you and Nyiko done? How did they let it get so out of hand? Didn’t they know Money and She’tenders equals to Trouble?
In divulging his every last secret, my husband slowly tore down the walls of his affair and opened his world to me; he let me in so that we could deal with all this together. Get rid of Sheryl. To me, every detail revealed was top, sensitive and classified secrets and these secrets could not be held by only himself, Nyiko and Sheryl. If I were to understand, forgive and get through this mess intact. Kevin needed to be honest and shed everything out, no matter how big, how disgusting and embarrassing. He did tell it all, well mostly things that mattered. Honestly, he answered every question and cleared every doubt, suspicion and uncertainty I had been carrying since I realized that my husband was having an affair. The rest or remaining will come out with time, I am so sure it wont be something as huge as what I just found out today. Right now I was bombarded with a lot that I could not stomach. Yaa, lies that binds.
It was like I was at a cinema watching a movie. Everything Kevin told me seemed like he was reading a movie/drama script. Sex tapes, the usb , murder, etc. It didn’t feel like my own husband was involved in all those stuff . Yaa, life neh. Love, lies, marriage, power, deceit, murder, manipulation and police, that’s what my husband introduced our lives to.
In as much as the entire revelation rocked me, one thing stood out, The truth finally came out. I must say I was still hurt by the truth and I was still mad at my husband, but there must be a line somewhere where all this must end. The anger, the feelings of betrayal, the resentment and the questioning. Kev wanted to tell it all, but honestly, I think already I heard more than enough to see a complete picture of the puzzle I needed. Now it was up to me what I do with all that was just revealed.
For Kevin to open up to me with his secrets, we became united again in a shared history rather than wedged apart by secrets, lies and deception.
Now I get it. Ooh was it the reason she tried calling me on Saturday? And even rocked up at my kids’ party and my house uninvited? To threaten and manipulate me? Or to expose Kevin and Nyiko by showing me all the rubbish she recorded ? Did she plan to extort more money from me? Or she came to threatens me in order to prove to Kevin that she meant business and continue to milk Kevin and Nyiko money in return for her silence? Gaah. Lsg or whatever Sheryl character was up to, must come to an end. Since my husband has come clean and told me every sinister details of their affair, she has no hold over Kevin anymore nor reasons to continue threatening and manipulating him.
Yaa neh, nor wonder dearest Kevin kept on saying he was protecting us and Nyiko's family from this woman. Whatever they stand to lose was too dire. I must say I don’t condone what they did and how hard they tried to conceal all this and keep it away, but I can’t blame or judge them. Yoo as it was I was scared of what Sheryl might do next. Our lives were hanging on a thread. And now that I knew about her game/manipulation, we didn’t know what else might happen should she not get whatever she wanted because from today, Hell No, my husband won’t be running to her when she commands. I am sorry, I would not let her play with people’s lives like that. As it is, she had stolen a lot from us. Lots of money , time and attention from my husband. Her days of manipulating and threatening my husband ends tonight.
Now it was beginning to make sense why my husband was so indebted to Sheryl, he was trying to make her believe he was forever going to be at her services whenever she called. I remembered that night I walked into Kevin at the study. He said “ I promise to do everything for you as long as you keep the end of your bargain”. So my husband was being manipulated? He had made the deal with the devil in prada?
Now that everything was out in the open, I knew I was now involved and I didn’t know what to do to help my husband. He was in too deep a mess. What ever the decision he could make, Sheryl still had the upper hand. She had the information that could land Nyiko to prison, and Kevin would be implicated and might also face being charged with corruption, defeating the ends of justice and unduly benefiting from unlawful and irregular award of tenders.
Yoo this was quite heavy. There was no way out of this. Which ever way, Sheryl held the top card. Nor matter how I looked at it, someone was bound to lose and face the music. Either Kevin would have to continue playing her and get his hand on the evidence and get rid of her, or put a stop to this by calling her bluff. As it is Kevin and Nyiko had not come up with a better solution to this mess , instead they keep on falling deeper and deeper in her demands. Kevin has still not managed to get her to give up the information she has for 4 months now. Instead her demands get more and more. If Kevin pulls out and let Nyiko take responsibility and face the law. Problem was, should Nyiko gets convicted and fall , Kevin could also go down, and this would severely hurt both the families.
Whatever the decision, Nyiko and Kevin would land in trouble and If they go down, the kids, Reatli and I would also go down with them, whether we liked it or not. This whole mess was affecting us as well, more than we would want to admit.. I just looked at Kevin and shook my head, I didn’t know what to say further to him. I was frozen, words seemed so inadequate to say the least. I was just shocked.
I asked him to call Sheryl and set up a meeting with her so that we can talk , face to face, woman to woman. I thought maybe if I could speak to her, woman to woman, and perhaps offer her a deal, she might come to party. I really don’t know what I was thinking , obviously Nyiko and Kev had offered her many deals, why would she take mine? Especially if she realised that Kevin confessed about everything? Obviously she wont have more hold over my husband and that meant, she could go crazy because according to Kevin, one of the requirements from her was that she get to have Kevin in her life whenever she wanted. So we need to be smart about all this or else she could go after Nyiko guns blazing.
To be honest, in my heart I only needed her to know that her days of manipulation are over, and she can shove the sex tape into her butt for all I care. She won’t get a scent more from Kevin ever again. But that was fuelling the fire. But I thought, maybe I could try and see how our talk ( Sheryl and I ) could produce. Whatever it takes to try and make her stop with her extortion. If it meant threatening to sue her for wrecking my marriage ( obviously hoping she would be scared and back off) .
Kevin said unfortunately or fortunately He and Nyiko made a deal with Sheryl. She told them how much she needed in exchange of the evidence and her silence. Initially, they refused, saying it was too much money. Apparently, Kevin and Nyiko met on Sunday ( that morning after the twins birthday party when he was out without telling me where he was and hanging up on me). Yes that Sunday , the d-day. So they went and met up with Sheryl.
Apparently they realized that Sheryl was now getting too close to us ( referring to her unannounced surprise visit on Saturday) . They decided to give her the money she requested to go somewhere and start a new life. So as we were speaking, Sheryl gladly accepted the money , gave them the evidence she had and left.
Yaa, you would think, things like this only happens on Crime or Action movies, but I tell you, even in this real life they do. What Kev was telling me, was real life events that happened in our lives, our marriage. I asked about her whereabouts and the amount she accepted. Kevin said they gave her R450 000. Nyiko raised R300 000 as this was more his problem and his life and career at risk . So he had to pop out more because getting back the evidence and proof from Sheryl and her disappearance was more beneficial for him. Kevin put out the difference, well that was a hefty amount to pay considering what he was been threatened for. .
He said he was not interested about Sheryl’s whereabouts as long as she was nowhere near Jo’burg and his family. So it meant no one knew where she was and if she was gone for sure. Mmmm. Will she keep the end of her bargain? Or should we look over our shoulders now and then? This seemed far from being over. Sheryl still hold the queen card/token.
Yaa. Sheryl knew how to play her cards. I must say she has caused us a lot of money, time and distress. Nyiko would be so relived and that will also remove the weight that was weighing on Kevin. Having to be held by his balls by some woman? Hai its rough.
It was sad that the kids and I were caught in the web. Our marriage shattered, and my heart broken. It was unfair for what I had to go through all those times because of my husband’s reckless, stupid and inexcusable behaviour. I endured a lot of heartache and pain. I thought of Reatli and the kids also. They too were the victims.
I cursed the day Nyiko became immoral and the day he encouraged Kevin to join a list of tenderpreneurs who drank from that immoral cup. I can’t say I was not happy and relieved that Sheryl accepted the money and left, but I was worried that she might go blow the money then come back for more. I asked Kevin how sure he was that She would not come back and continue to blackmail them? He said she gave him the sex tape and the usb and she signed some declaration that she would not manipulate or use whatever information against them. Mmmm, hectic.
I don’t know if what Kevin made Sheryl do would hold water, but I had to believe that she was out of our lives for good. Provided she didn’t make copies of whatever she gave them and later hit back . It was possible, but I chose to believe she got what she wanted and won’t bother us anymore.
Nor wonder Kevin kept on saying Sheryl wont be a problem anymore. That explained a whole lot. Kevin asked me to come with him to his study and asked me if I wanted to see the evidence and sex tapes? Yoo it was too soon for me to check that out, I declined and said maybe some other time.
Kevin held my hands and asked me if I understand why he did what he did? Why he was lying to me, why he gave in to the devil. He swear that it hurt him more to have to endure Sheryl’s manipulation and all. I was indeed in total mental block. I wanted to believe everything, but I guess it was just too soon. Yes, some revelations made sense, cleared my mind and were proven that He was cornered into doing, but some were still questionable. .
Apparently their mutual affair ended last year November when Sheryl started messing Kevin up, manipulating and milking money from him. She told him that he must jump and dance to her music and always submit to her demands or else, the whole world will know about everything that happened. That was undoubtedly true that there was no relationship between them but some kind of arrangement ,pretence and manipulation. In as much as I could believe that he was being manipulated, not everything was forced into him on gun point. Some things he did participated willingly.
I was so lost for words. I didn’t know where to from here.
Do I forgive and forget and support my husband? Do I distance myself and let him deal with this alone? Yaa...For better and for worse...
Lenyalo le boima.
Marriage is a vulnerable, evolving relationship. It takes two people to make a marriage work and only one to end it. Kevin was just busy, giving me all the reasons to end our marriage.
Saying “I do” is the beginning, the actual marriage is everything that happens after the ceremony ends. You have to keep earning the love of your spouse every single day. I’ve learned that saying I do is an everyday vow that needs to be renewed each and every day of my marriage. Keeping the spark alive isn’t always easy or fun. Love, respect, protection and honouring the vows should be done daily, not only when there is crisis. Kevin messed things because he forgot such important factor. Loving and trusting my husband will be so difficult especially after all this but It’s a choice I have to make every day, even when he’s annoying, disappointing, betraying and hurting me.
One of the biggest lesson I’ve learned since this whole deception is that marriage is not always happy or fun. I wish on my wedding day someone had told me that even in the best marriages experience bumps and pains. Everyone is flawed and sometimes the marriage will reflect those flaws. Love and marriage will not always be a safe harbour in life but facing a crisis together will strengthen the relationship and the individuals. I need to remember that pain in a relationship can produce greater people and enrich the marriage.
There were so many questions I wanted answered, but I wondered was it worth it? What will I do with those answers? Some people may call it being in denial, but I call it quit living in the past. My husband has told me the answer to the 2 most important questions I needed to have answers to. They were brutal but honest. I asked and I got the truth. I knew answers will lead to further questions. Dwelling on it leads to hatred , anger and resentment. If we decide to stay as a family, it had to stop somewhere.
Don’t get me wrong, I was so hurt that I felt the physical pain pumping out of my heart. I’m sure I will feel so a year later, maybe even 2 years later. But, it was time one learn to let go and think positive. If your husband has come back to you remorsefully, it means he wanted a long time commitment with you. That’s what I believed about Kevin. His moment of weakness was over. It was time to work hard at building our relationship back.
Yooo, “I must say I was shocked, furious, still hurting and still angry . It was hard for me not to tell Kevin that we were over and make him hurt as badly as I did.” Instead we talked and wept together all night.
Once the initial shock passed, I was faced with a choice, “I could either fight for my marriage or let this event change everything.”
I did not know what to....
To my Dygo readers, tell me, What would you have chosen? Please comment

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13 November 2015 at 19:57 delete

I think u should have listened to the rest of the story before deciding that your husband was the victim #Ignorant.