Sunday, November 8

Mahlatse Ramatseba

Diary of a restless soul Insert 78

Insert 78
After the cow have been slaughtered
i excused myself.
I took a walk.
I needed to gather my emotions.
I didn't understand how can love be so sweet yet so bitter.
How did i get myself in this mess.
The flashbacks of what happened earlier kept playing its self in my mind.
How could i have fallen so deep for a girl who doesn't seem to care.
I know ATHE had her flows and mistakes but she was braver than any girl i have ever met.
She was that type of a woman whom you will hold her hand in public
and show the world that she is your girl.
She was the woman you wouldn't wanna hide from your friends.
I have fallen so deep for her from the very first time i saw her.
I sometimes wished that i could hide her from the face of the world so that she doesn't have to suffer anymore.
I yerned to keep her safe from the troubles of this earth.
Every pain she went through i felt it as twice.
I know she had a lot going on at that moment
but i was willing to share the burden with her.
I think i owed her that much.
At night i prayed for her more than i prayed for myself.
And whenever she flashed that million dollar smile
my world would be alright.
I swear to god i would have taken a bullet for her if need be,
that's how much i loved her.
But why couldn't she see that.
Why was it so hard for me to tell her how i felt.
But then again talking was my weakness back then
i was all about less yada yada (talking) and more action man.
When her lips met mine i was zoomed.
I thought finally god has had my prayers
and when she pulled off i was broken.
That yet again it seemed like I WASN't the man ATHE wanted to be with.
But i wasn't about to give up that easily.
This was the fight worth dying for.
I took out my phone and dialed khitha's number.
She was the only one who understood how genuine and pure my love for her sister was.
It rang for the longest while ever.
And finally when i was about to hang up
she answered.
Me: hey my kit-kat.
Khitha: hhayi sibu ufuna nton ngok
(no sibu what do you want now).
Me: well i just need to offload or else i am gonna pop out.
I am freaking out right now.
And i feel like screaming that "i love athe"
but then again i am in the middle of the road people will think that i am crazy.
Khitha: you are crazy by nature mos
that won't be the first.
Me: khayeke(stop it) maan khiyonce.
Ndi(i am) serious apha(here).
And uyayazi(you know) that your sister is the fuel behind my craziness.
Khitha: shame i feel for you man.
Me: if that the case then hook a brother out.
Ndiyam-needer maan lamntana.
Ingathi intloko yam ithi vrou.
Ndiphambana la wei.
(i think my head is going crazy.
I am getting insane)
Khitha: to be honest you sound like you are just joking.
Can you atleast be serious for once maan sibu.
Talk to athe tell her how you feel.
Because whatever it is that you feel i am 100% sure that she feels the same.
She loves you.
I saw it in her eyes today.
Me: then why doesn't she wants to date me.
Ndimbi olohlobo nah.
(am i that ugly)
Khitha: hell no.
Its just that she is afraid.
She thinks if you guys go out things will change.
She is afraid of loosing her bestfriend.
Me: owh if only she knew that i will never leave her even if i wanted too.
My heart literally worships the ground she steps on.
Khitha: then tell her.
Me: i am afraid khitha.
Whenever i sat my mind to talk to her the minute i sat my eyes on her
my mouth runs dry.
I even forget my own name around her.
She makes my heart skip a bit.
I have never felt like that about a girl before that's why i am sure that ngumakoti kamama U-athe kitty.
Khitha: you see i will hang up ke mna.
Me: what did i do now.
Khitha; sund'biza okitty mna andilo kati.
(don't call me kitty i am not a cat)
Me: lol sorry maan.
Khitha: haska.
Me: i know you have already forgiven me.
So on a serious note please khiyonce talk to your sister for me.
Please make her see reason.
Khitha: i will try
but you know how stubbon your girlfriend can be.
So i am not promising anything
me: thanx khitha you don't know how much that means to me
ndizokthengela istoki.
We hang up.
I was feeling a bit better.
But i knew that the was still a long way to go.
And i was willing to travel all the way down
as long as i got to be with ATHE at the end.
And that moment i had with her ealier on.
It was gonna be cherished forever.
(molweni obhabha baka bhabha wam.
Yhuu i hope ndizamile maan.
Kalok i am new on this writing ish.
If ndibhatyazile then xolweni bethunana.
Ngu sibu ke lo in person .
And as handsome as ever.
Love you guys )

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