Monday, November 2

Mahlatse Ramatseba

Last kiss: Our mistakes Chapter 1

We sat outside Home affairs with our two best friends and we all laughed at the same time, maybe for different reason but at that moment nothing could kill my mood. He held my hand, I looked at him and I saw my world, my forever, my husband. The look on his eyes was nothing but comforting? through his eyes I was us sitting on a porch at our beach house with our grandchildren running around.
He said my name with the sexiest voice ever, my heart melted and my palms were already sweating with all the butterflies dancing in my tummy.
I sometimes get ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning and introduce myself. I am Fezeka but everyone with sense calls me Fey, I like that name and its easy to remember. I am in grade 11 and I just turned 18, I've been dating the same guy since grade 9 and his name is Gcobani. He happens to be a grade ahead of me, which means this is his last year in high school nevertheless this is our story. I have two siblings Anelisa and Asanele they not are twins but my parents are not creative or just lazy. I am the product of high school sweet hearts, which is probably why I am a sucker for a good love story . I have two best friends Olwethu and Yanela, I am nothing without those two. I am not perfect but I love that about me, reminds of my human qualities . I think that's everything about me, I am not a fan of talking about me. Gcobani is moving to East London, he will be studying at Fort Hare and for some stupid reason we decided to get married but let me explain.
Gcobani" Fort Hare accepted "
We we listening to Ed Sheeran's acoustic versions, siting in his room. Yes siting we were both virgins, so sex wasn't really a priority and trust me its not as dumb as it sounds.
Me"So you are leaving?"
Asking obvious questions, expecting not so obvious answers. I do that a lot, I master being dumb sometimes.
Gcobani"You'll join next year, and I told you Nmmu didn't accept. Fey nothing will change between us, I love you and you love me"
I decided not to answer because I was already crying, and that was enough to show how I feel about the situation. I have watched every movie and read almost every book about long distance and they all end the same way. What will be different about us? Varsity means new friends, new crowd means new girls, and I cannot compete .
Gcobani"Trust me! Fey trust me"
I didn't all of a sudden my heart was filled with doubt, my mind made a movie of all the possibilities and every ending had me crying wishing Nmmu accepted him.
Me"We have 3 months left, lets make the most of it"
I slowly took off my top not breaking eye contact,I took off his vest my hands trembling.
Gcobani"We didn't plan it like this"
I nodded, while taking off my bra and exposing my medium size breast. He stared at them and he both laughed, he laid me down. My heart was beating fast, I couldn't stop crying a lot was on my mind but this was never part of the plan or maybe I planned too much.
Gcobani"Fey I love you, this we don't have to do"
Yet after 30 minutes of stumbling, awkward feelings, telling each other to relax laughing inbetween. I had just gave my purity to someone who will belong to someone else, I just gave myself up to keep someone from leaving me. I cried even louder because this was never part of the plan, we planned everything but difficulties.
He held my waist from behind, whispering in my ear.
We both giggled
Gcobani"Let me find out kwenziwa njani but I want you to be my wife, I will buy a ring but I promise when I get a proper job I will get you a proper one"
He kissed my neck and my heart felt warmer than a home made custard.
He didn't answer, I slowly moved his arms and got out of bed. I found my phone and sent a text to Olwethu
"We getting married"
I smiled letting it sink in and she replied
"Kiss him like its your last kiss"

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