Diary of a restless soul Insert 100 - Mzansi Stories

Tuesday, December 15


Diary of a restless soul Insert 100


Insert 100.
Me: s'bulele what the hell are you talking about.
Sibu: i am sorry nana
this happened so unexpectedly.
I didn't know how to tell you.
Me: what about mna, what about us sibu.
How will we continue dating with you on the other side of the world.
I mean if it was durban or cape town i would understand.
But london is just too far
i Won't be able to even visit you.
Sibu: but bhabha i will always come back during the holidays.
We will be fine.
Me: noooo we won't.
I am used to being with you all the time.
And now you are telling me that i have to wait for months before i can see you.
This is just absurd.
What if you change.
What if you find someone else there.
Then what will happen to me.
Sibu: please bhabha try and understand
this is our future.
I am trying to build a better future for both of us.
And you know i will never find someone else better than you.
You own my heart nana
nobody will ever take your place in my heart.
Me: yeah its easier said than done.
We could have build our future here,
we don't need london to do that.
Sibu: bhabha please understand.
Me: there's nothing to understand apha other than the fact that you are disserting me.
You know what i am leaving.
Sibu: but its late.
Me: i don't care
i cant stand being around you right now,
you disguist me.
(i took my clutch bag and my phone and i stood up)
sibu: can i atleast take you to your place ke.
Me: don't bother i will manage.
Sibu: but i....
I just walked out of the room before he could finish his sentence.
I was so hurt and angry
it like we had just broke up.
I was walking on the pavement
when a car hooted behind me.
Mxm it was sibu
i continued walking.
Sibu: bhabha please get in.
Me: no.
Sibu: khawenze maan nana.
Please pretty please.
He continued begging and i finally got in the car.
And he tried making some small convo but i just ignored him
i kept my mouth shut.
This felt like the longest drive ever.
When we got to the res
i just got out of the car
and walked to my room
my heart was really bleeding.
When i got there khitha was still asleep.
I threw my self on my bed.
I faced upwards.
I had million thoughts
tracing through my mind.
"what if i let sibu go and i loose him forever,
but then again if i let him stay he will hate me in future,
maybe i am just pure selfish
or just insecure.
But i just don't want to loose him"
those were few of the thoughts i had in my mind.
I don't know when i fell asleep.
But i was woken up by my beeping phone.
I checked the time
and it was 8;30 in the morning.
Wooow so i slept the whole night.
I opened the message
and it was sibu he was asking me to come out.
I quickly got up.
Went to the bathroom
brushed my teeth and washed my face.
I had changed my yesterday's clothes which i slept on.
I wore my short nighty trouser and a vest and my slippers.
Then i went out to sibu.
His car was parked in the parking area.
I went to it
i got in.
Me: morning.
Sibu: hi umh sorry i disturbed your sleep
me: its fine.
Sibu: about yesterday issue
i won't go.
Me: what.
Sibu: yeah i decided not to go.
I promised to make you happy and always be there for you
so if going away
hurts you then i won't go.
Me: nooo you have to go.
I just realised how selfish i have been,
i mean you always been there for me.
So why can't i do the same for you.
This is a big opportunity
and it comes once in a life time so you should grab it with both hands.
You should go
infact i want you to go.
Sibu: really are you serious
(his face beamed with joy,
and i saw how much he wanted this.)
me: yeah baby you should go.
Sibu: owh thank you,
thank you bhabham
i promise i will never turn my back on you.
We will talk everyday.
You will see we will be fine.
Me: i guess so ( i faked a smile and looked down coz i felt tears threatning my eyes,
i sniffed).
Sibu: aibo bhabha uyalila.
Me: no (i was still facing downwards)
sibu held my chin with his index finger.
"uyalila nyan" he said with a broken voice.
Me: its nothing i am just happy for you.
This are the tears of happines.
Sibu: ncooooh my lil cry baby
iza kutata aphuze apha esdleleni.
(he drew me closer to him and kissed my cheeck like a baby and i smiled)
sibu: now thats my nana,
kunini ndifun'ubona ezo curvy lips.
Me: mxm uyabaxa ngok.
Sibu: uyayazi nje nana that you are my favourite cartoon character.
Me: haska.
I hit his shoulder playfully.
For a second there i was living in the moment
i was enjoying the time
i had with my man
yes he was my man back then,
and never in my wildest dream
have i ever thought that someday what we had was gonna be over.
Neither did i expect it to be so soon.
If somebody would have asked me back then that
do i see my future with someone else accept for sibu.
I would have called him/her crazy
but as life would have it
sibu and i perished,
just when i thought my soul had find peace and rest.
i ended up marrying a wrong guy.
While having a child for another.
Season two
my broken marriage
and the begining of my real suffering.
# athenkosi

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