The Painful Past Chapter 37 - Mzansi Stories

Sunday, December 20

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 37

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Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 37

I recorded a video for my two beautiful kids. I told them about their dads and also that both their dads are no more and it pains me that now I'm also leaving them but it wasn't by choice. I was forced by unbearable circumstances that's making life hard for me. I told them how hard life has been for me and how much I wish they never turn out to be like me no matter how cruel life gets they must just remain true to themselves.  The room's temperature was now getting higher and higher. It was getting really really hot and I switched off my phone and took off my shirt. For the first time since I fell pregnant with my third child I was actually able to look at my tummy with no disgusts,I told my kids about the baby I'm carrying on the video and how much this baby made my mom hate me.  I noticed that the bump was getting bigger. This means people would have noticed my pregnancy in a couple of weeks from now but I'm glad they will never notice it because my ears will be deaf to their words full of hate and my eyes will be blind from their eyes full of judgements.

I took off my pants,the heat was on steroids,  I felt like I was going to melt any second now. I sat on the floor as I faced the wall and wondered why it's ok for mom to let my little brother live freely while I'm locked in my room. Is she trying to tell me that it's not okay to go to school, finish my studies even though I had a couple of humps in my academic years but at least I came back home with a degree. I was able to buy my self a house and a car. Is giving birth to innocent souls really that bad? Badder than bunking school and stealing from the people that feeds you?  My mom's actions weren't making sense to me at all. Why did she even have to involve Kgomotso's grandparents?  I wasn't married to Thabiso the first mos so what the hell was this all about?

I was getting very angry and annoyed and I decided I'm breaking the door.  I got up so fast and my head was pounding really loud, it was like I was hearing things.  I held my head and went down on my knees,blocked my ears with my hands trying to stop the noise I was hearing.  I looked up and everything was blurry . My eyes were showing me things, I crawled to my bed and lay there facing the ceiling and everything was moving in circles. The weird voices in my head were getting louder and louder. I couldn't feel my feet now,  the inside of my hands had cramps. I tried to call out my mom for help, but I couldn't hear my self although I could feel my mouth moving...

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