Diary of a restless soul Season 2 Insert 81 - Mzansi Stories

Monday, June 27

Wizzy

Diary of a restless soul Season 2 Insert 81

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S2
insert 81
imi ran to me as soon as i entered the house
she was wearing a pink flowered dress
with a matching hair band
she was just so cute
i picked her up
she was so heavy
i kissed her chubby cheeks
me: idzooo nana ka mama
(she laughed showing off her short teeth)
her: mama,,,mama

well that all she kept saying
she neared for a kiss
and i kiss her mouth
i then walked in the kitchen
luyolo entered with my bags
he went to put them in our bedroom
mam'nomcebo was cooking
while mandy was busy with her phone at the kitchen table
nomcebo: yhuu sisi you are back
me: yeah hi mah
her: i missed you so much, this house tends to be boring when you are not here
me: i missed you too
especially this big princess
her: am happy you are back, this is your house
and it becomes empty when you are not here
me: don't worry mah am never leaving again
her: thats good
mandy was so quiet
its like she wasn't even in the room
me: molo mandy
her: hi Athe, am glad you are back and am sorry about your dad
me: thank you
i exited the kitchen went to my room
my husband was busy unpacking my bags
me: ncoooh you are so sweet
him: i know right
lol IMI is now a newborn
me: she doesn't wanna get off me
him:thats because she missed you
she's been asking about you ever since we came back from the funeral
me: i see that
its good to be home again
him: and am glad you are back
this place is no home without you
*
*
a month had gone by since the funeral
Dabs had gone back to ermelo where her house was
and i was back to my work full time
i had gone few times to check on Khitha
and things were still good and Vathiswa wasn't complaining
things between me and luyolo were back to normal
not to the their original state but they were better
the didn't seem to be any bad bloods between me and mandy
it was just after work
luyolo was driving
well since he was not working she decided to drop me to work in the morning
and at my knock off time he fetched me
he drove to the doctor's office
were going to get my results
since luyolo booked an appointment a week ago for me to get a second opinion in my fertility problem
he parked the car outside the doctor's office
and we walked in
told the receptionist what we were there to do
and she let us go through
we walked to the doctor's door
knocked once and she ordered us to come in
Dr Patel: mr and mrs mdingi
come on in
you guys can take a seat
us: thank you
dr: so i guess you are here for the results
me: uhm yes we are
dr: ohk then lets see what we are dealing with
she went to her shelf, took out a big brown envelop
yolo held my hand tightly
my heart was pounding, my knees we so weak
suddenly i felt a wave of heat, i was sweaty
mostly i was afraid of what that envelop entailed
"uhm let see" she said as she opened it

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she stared at some scans and documents for the longest while ever
i can tell by her facial expression that she had bad news for me
yolo: is everything ohk doctor
Dr: am afraid i have some bad news
your womb is damaged beyond repair mrs mdingi
your released ovums don't even make it to your uterus
they just disappeared in your falopian tubes
even on your ovulation time it is highly impossible for your egg to be fertilised
yolo: so what you are saying is she will never be pregnant
Dr: yes, and even if she does get pregnant by some miracle her damaged womb wont be able to carry the fertilised egg for more than four weeks
yolo: meaning?
Dr: meaning that she would get an early miscarriage
the room went dead quiet
nobody dare to say anything
i was breaking in the inside, its funny how i knew the truth about my condition but i still hoped for different results
i thought that the was still hope for my situation
Dr: am so sorry but you can try other alternatives
like adoption
i yanked my hand out of yolo's grip and exited the door
i hurried outside to our car
i stood near the door and lean on it
tears streamed down my face
i had so much pain in my heart
i felt like GOD was failing me
i cried untill there were no tears anymore
my mind raced to the night i had an encounter with my husband
"it seems like he was right afterall
i was really a spermdish
if i couldn't give my husband a child then what use was i
didn't i even deserve to be called a wife
while i failed the most simplest duty of a wife
which is bearing children for my husband
yolo deserved better than a mere spermdish" i thought to myself
"don't you ever talk like that again
you are not a spermdish, i was wrong to call you that
and i apologise
i don't deserve better, infact i deserve worse for ill-treating you
this is not your fault
and its beyond your control
i am sorry for being so selfish
i shouldn't have subjected you into this pain again" yolo said behind me
me: how did you know what i was thinking.
him: well maybe its because you were thinking out loud
you were talking to your self
me: owh
him: stop blaming yourself this is not your fault
we got in the car with my mind miles away, he silently drove us home
‪#‎ATHE‬

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