Unscripted love Chapter 59 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, June 9


Unscripted love Chapter 59


Kisses Are Not Contracts, Words Aren’t Eternally Binding and Promises Are Not Vows

“Are you still coming along with us to Maboneng?” Sbahle asked and I shook my head. I didn’t look the part in my flared skirt and simple t-shirt and I had no intention of changing into skimpy body hugging clothes that showed off my tiny bulge.
“I have some work to do, I barely got anything done at the office.” I told her and looked away as a thousand thoughts flooded my mind all at once. It had been a week since I’d asked Levi to give me time to think about relocating. I’d taken a week to think about what would be in the best interests of our child and I was no closer to a definitive answer for Levi or myself.

“You should come, it will be fun.” Levi offered but I shook my head. I really wanted to stay in, I was sort of hoping that he would stay with me, having just returned from a three day trip but he wanted to go out for drinks with his friends.

Sbahle stepped out of the TV room and into her room and returned a few minutes later with a tighter, shorter yellow dress on. All eyes, including Levi’s, landed on her well rounded behind that was accentuated by the stretch fabric.
“Are you ready to go Levi?” Sbahle asked while running her fingers through her braids. “Are you sure you don’t want to come Mzala?”
I gave her a nod. “I’m sure.” I informed her.
Kagiso, Nthato and Levi all got up to leave and Levi gave me a wave and a kiss before leaving my apartment. I was a little disappointed that he actually chose to go out with them, but what did I expect? For him to stay home and rub my feet and read devotionals with me instead of going out with his friends? I laughed at the thought.

After an hour of channel hopping and attempting to take a nap, I grabbed my phone to annoy Levi by asking him when he was coming back. When I heard his phone buzzing on the couch I took it and punched in his password for his lock screen. Upon realising that he’d changed the password I left his device and called my mother to catch up with her, and mostly to see if my grandparents had told her that she was going to be a grandparent.

It had been over a week since I told my grandparents and they were still looking for the perfect time to drive down and inform my parents. Seeing how they couldn’t gather up the pluck to make the dreaded trip and break the news validated my decision to hide behind them.

My mother answered with a simple hello, so I knew she had no clue yet. She told me about the women’s conference coming up and a man’s conference that Solomon was going to host with my father. Of course she spend a considerable amount of time gushing about Solomon and how any woman would be lucky to be with a man that was so devoted to God. I rolled my eyes and let her continue to ramble on about that and what she’d been up to that week.

My phone lit up while I was listening to her, I placed her on speakerphone and read the text from Kagiso.
“I seem to have lost my phone babe. You should have come with us, with me. Missing you.” The message read. My heart swelled, it was clearly from Levi.
Pretending to listen to my mother I mumbled, “hmmm, oh..” a few times while I texted back.
“You left your phone here. You should have stayed.” I pressed send and gawked at the screen waiting for him to respond.
“I’m coming to pick you up.” He replied after what seemed like forever.
“What? No, I don’t want to go out. You’re already there, just stay. I’ll see you later.”
“I already left. Pack a bag, you are sleeping over.” Levi could be so demanding even through a text message. I was still on my ‘no sex before marriage mission’ and we hadn’t spent the night together since we got back together.

My mother was still talking and I had no idea what about. I stopped listening once Levi texted me.
“Mom, I will call you back.” I interrupted her.
“Why? Don’t you want to know what your aunt said in response?” Her tone was surprised.
My aunt? “I uhm… well I spilled juice on my bible. I have to go.” I lied and hung up.
I hastily went to the closet and I pulled my long and baggy pyjamas out and shoved them in a bag. Followed by a simple red dress and shoes for work. I combed my afro out, it looked descent considering it hadn’t been washed that day. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and ended up cleaning the mess Sbahle had left behind, when I returned Levi was sitting on my bed.

“Solomon called. I answered and took a message.” He informed me.
“What’s the message?” I asked and put my toiletry bag in my overnight bag.
“He will call you in the morning. Ready?” He stood up and walked towards my direction. I half expected him to hug me, but he didn’t. He just took my bag and moved to the door.
I nodded and grabbed my purse and cell phone.

When we got to his car, he kept the radio down as he drove. I really didn’t want to go to Maboneng. I just wanted to spend time alone with him. I didn’t like how co-dependent I was already feeling.
“How long do you think we are going to be there?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.
“I don’t know.. why?” He looked sideways at me.
“I really do not want to go out. What am I gonna do? I don’t even drink now.”
“It won’t be too bad baby. Everyone is there.” He assured me. I hoped everyone didn’t include Homo Naledi’s friend, Pearl.
“I guess.” I mumbled and looked out of the window.
“You don’t want to go?” His voice was quiet.
“Not really, that’s why I stayed home in the first place.” I laughed a little to sound a little less like a party pooper.
“Seeing as you are not feeling Maboneng, let’s go somewhere else then?”
“Where?” I was suddenly irritated with him insisting on going out and I wasn’t sure why when I knew that he was young and he loved partying up a storm with his friends.
“My house. We can watch movies and get fat together.” He suggested and I smiled and nodded. His smile grew, showing the big beautiful smile I’d grown fond of. “My house it is then.” He reached over and placed his hand on my thigh. My skin warned and I placed my hand over his.

Twenty minutes later we pulled up to his house. I hadn’t been there since we fought about Pearl moving in, only God knew what they got up to when they were home alone. My stomach pinged at the thought. I needed to stop thinking this way, because it was going to drive me insane and there was nothing I could do to change it.

“The helper went home to Lesotho so don’t mind the mess.” He said and unlocked the door. The place looked descent enough but I had to clean at some point and wash his curtains. I followed him to a room down the passage and he turned the light on, kicked his sneakers off his feet and onto the floor. He moved over the king size sleigh bed in what looked like the master bedroom. He moved over the bed and patted the spot next to him.

As I walked towards him my curiosity got the best of me. “When did you decide to move to the master bedroom? I thought you had it under lock and key.” I looked around the room that could easy hold its own on houzz.
“Since I decided that you are moving in. We might as well see if we can live under one roof before we hop on a plane and move halfway across the world.” He answered casually.
I sat down on the soft bed, ensuring that there was space between us. Levi pulled me by my legs closer to him. I laughed and scooted closer so we were facing each other, my legs on either side of his waist and seated between his legs.
“So you reckon I am going to quit my job and move to a country where I don’t know anybody with a boyfriend and a new born?” He grinned at my question.
“So you would move if we were more than just girlfriend and boyfriend?” He asked gleefully.
Me: Why do you seem so excited?
Levi: Because I didn’t think that you’d even think about moving. I was expecting a big fat no.
Me: It’s a huge ask. It’s in the child’s best interests to see mom and dad everyday but we are still trying to figure out who we are as a couple. Plus, I need to work because I support my family financially. Futhi is going to university next year, something always comes up at the church, my mom is always asking for things, my grandparent’s pension needs to be supplemented.
Levi: I will pay for all of that. In fact, tell me exactly how much you earn and I will deposit the same amount in your account on a monthly basis. I will also help you take out a retirement annuity and ensure that you have all the savings you have now. Both of you will be on my medical aid.
He was being sweet but being sweet is easy when you are getting along. “Levi… babe, I like being independent. I cannot put myself in a position whereby I am financially dependent on a boyfriend.”
“You aren’t worried that I will throw you out and leave you stranded if we break up are you?” That was a major concern. I was sure that he was going to make this about me not trusting him or not believing in our relationship so I turned my head sideways. His hands went over my knees and he squeezed gently.

“I wouldn’t do that to you. If you think about it, I did not ask you to give me back the car when we broke up and I still sent Sbahle your portion for rent. You never have to worry about being stranded financially, okay?” His words were gentle, and I believed him.
“Financial independence aside, I still don’t want to move in with a person that hasn’t paid lobola. I need concrete commitment for me to pack my entire life and move in with someone. Over the years I have learnt that kisses are not contracts, words aren’t eternally binding and anyone is entitled to change their minds at any point and promises aren’t vows. Life, tomorrow and love is too uncertain for one to make plans based on a promise. Especially when we all know that futures have a way of falling down mid-flight.

I don’t want to find myself in a situation seven years from now wondering if I will ever make it down the aisle to officially get the wife title when I’ve been playing the role of the wife all along. I would hate to see you simply packing a bag and walking out because you feel the need to find yourself outside of our relationship after many years of building a home together. I need more than just a promise of forever, I want a covenant.” I knew that it basically sounded like me putting a gun on his head and forcing him to pay lobola if he wanted me to move with our child but the idea of living with a boyfriend bothered me.

“Baby I’ve thought about paying lobola and damages at the same time… I just wasn’t sure if you’d want me to. You always tell me that you want to get married in two years’ time but I would fork out your bridal price tomorrow.” His words made me grin like a chimpanzee. “Do you want me to pay for both at the same time? I suppose this is me indirectly asking you for your hand in marriage.”
Butterflies the size of eagles fluttered in my stomach. “This is not the proposal. I want the question written in the sky or on the ground while we are in a helicopter flying over the city. Not sitting on a bed in your room.” I said between giggles and he laughed.
Levi: If you say yes then I will plan a proper proposal. I have seen you publicly humiliate someone by saying no so I am not about to hire helicopters unless I know the answer.
I swatted his arm. “Do not remind me of that day. I felt terrible but I knew that Sandiso wasn’t the one for me. It was something I knew for a very long time but I allowed him to string me along for years. Sandiso always claimed he loved me while he actively pursued other relationships with other women. I turned a blind eye and forgave a lot of things because I believed that we had a future and ‘love is a lot of work.’ I’m glad I realised my worth and that I deserved the same kind of love I gave to him.

One thing that I have learned from the many relationship seminars for young women ‘waiting’ for marriage that I’ve been forced to attend is that I don’t have to say yes just because someone asked for my hand in marriage. A proposal doesn’t make a person ‘the one’ and one should never settle for a particular individual simply because deep down we all want marriage and commitment. I am glad that I somehow knew that a marriage doesn’t change a person and that I believed that someone like you existed. That the ‘are we still on this planet kind?’ of love was real and it was something that I would experience.”

Levi chuckled, “I’m just glad I made it out of the friend zone. I wouldn’t want to call anyone else the mother of my children. So….. is that a yes?” Levi asked expectantly.
Me: A yes to?

Levi: Me paying lobola.
Me: You know you don’t have to do that just because we are having a child together, right?
Levi: I know. We’ve spoken about getting married before, the child just sped up the process. We must think of a name, we can’t keep referring to the baby as this child. It sounds wrong.
“I like Lunathi, but it’s a Xhosa name,” I beamed and Levi looked less than pleased with the name. “What’s wrong with Lunathi?”
Levi: The poor child will be the butt of all jokes at school with that name. Just add a ‘c’ at the end and its lunatic.
I burst out laughing at his reasoning. “I am pretty sure you are the only one that has thought of that.”
“I’m pretty sure I am not. Lunathi… lunatic, sounds the same to me. Promise me that you will not give our baby that name.” He was giggling so I didn’t know if he was really serious. He suddenly dumped his entire body weight on me. I was pinned under him and I couldn’t breathe either from his body weight pressing down on me or my inexorable laughing. He did not stop tickling me until I reluctantly agreed to drop the name.

He finally let me go and pulled me up to our seated position. “We have plenty of time to think of names but we don’t really have a lot of time to wrap up our lives and move so I need an answer.”
“How long is the contract they offered you?” I was stalling.
Levi: Three years.
Me: What happens after three years?
Levi: We will own a chain of restaurants. We will have houses and flats that we will buy from the money we make in London and we will have investments to ensure that we live a comfortable life long after I hang up my soccer boots.
It sounded like he had a plan for us. “Seems like you aren’t going to take no for an answer.” I said and he laughed.

“I won’t. Especially if the only condition is that I take concrete steps towards making you my wife. Who wouldn’t want to have the honour of calling someone like you their wife? Just look at you. It isn’t every day that you meet someone who is breathtakingly beautiful inside and out.” Levi’s eyes darkened and he moved his hand to my stomach. His fingers tugged up my shirt and he drew circles on my bare skin with his digits. Goosebumps rose on my skin and a smile crept on his face as he became aware of the effect his simple touch had on me.
“I love the way your body responds to me,” he breathed. I knew what was coming next and I needed to have the willpower to stop it from happening. Levi’s fingers trailed further up my shirt, causing my breathing to accelerate. The smile on his face grew wider.
“One touch and you’re already panting.” His knowing raspy voice whispered. He leaned over, crawling over me as my back fell on the bed. He brought his mouth to my neck and his tongue made a flat stripe down my neck which made me quiver. My fingers threaded into his dreads and I tugged as he nipped at my skin. One of his hands slid down in between my legs, travelled up under my skirt but I grabbed his wrist to halt its journey.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“Nothing… I, um. No sex remember?” I looked away when he turned his head to look up at me. His fingers cupped my chin so I was forced to make eye contact with him. He tried to hide his frustration but I caught him.
“Come on babe, just this one time.” He beckoned. His eyes drank in every inch of exposed flesh as he pinned my wrists above my head and pulled my shirt up. I was easy to restrain with one hand, while his other hand spanked my thigh, warming my skin with a quick lick of fire. I defiantly arched my back, pressing into him.
“It will never be a once off thing.” I was surprised I hadn’t caved.
He grazed my shoulder with his teeth, “Maybe you could do something else for me then?”
“Maybe I could… you know? Use my mouth, maybe.” I didn’t know why I was so shy with words, but I couldn’t just say blow job.
“You want to suck my cock? Isn’t oral sex still sex?” Levi asked, clearly amused. I was officially horrified, yet turned on somehow.
“Uhm… yea but I suppose it’s a compromise. I mean if that’s what you want.” I hoped as our relationship progressed I would be able to say these things without turning red like a tomato.
“Of course I want you to, I have been daydreaming about having those plum lips around me for a while. You are very good at giving head,” he said and I was oddly flattered by the crude remark.

“If oral isn’t banned then I should probably return the favour,” he breathed and his hand crept up my thigh again. The realisation that a wild forest was growing down there turned the whole ordeal into a major cringe fest. I grabbed his hand as it cupped the elastic of my underwear and told him to stop.
“What’s wrong?” he asked again.
“This is wrong. We should stop.” I breathed.
“Does this feel wrong?” His gentle caresses felt heavenly.
Me: I think it’s best if I slept at my place tonight.
Levi shook his head. “No, I’ll behave.” He got off the bed and in one swift movement he threw me over his shoulder and carried me into the en suite bathroom. He dropped me in the middle of the bathroom. “Let’s take a bath then we can watch movies while stuffing our faces.” This man was clearly not going to stop until he got me naked.
“Next time? I haven’t shaved.” I said honestly.
“Oh, I can shave you.” He offered unexpectedly which made me titter. “Hold that thought,” he said when his phone rang  in the room and he went to answer it.

“Who was that?” I asked, my curiosity bordering on concern when he walked in the bathroom without the smile he left with.
Levi blew out a breath and I could tell that whatever it was dampened his mood.
“That was my father. I told him about the baby and he wants his brother to form part of the delegation. I haven’t told you this but the Cohans don’t want to pay damages, they think the whole thing is extortion and the idea of it is laughable. Keagile understands the custom and he wants to go to KZN with his brother so I don’t know if I should send the Mmola family instead.”

A knot of anger balled in my stomach. They were white so they didn’t know anything about cultural norms but to go as far as to label it extortion was extreme.
“So what are you going to do?” I asked. “Mmolas, Cohans or both? Whatever happens a family needs to set a date and pay damages and that needs to happen soon if you are leaving the country.”
Levi lowered his brows and glared at me. “Keagile is so excited, he even suggested a name for the baby while my family is acting like I murdered someone. They are not pleased.”
I rubbed my forehead. The Cohans seemingly had a problem with me when I thought we all got along well. I wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and stared up at the ceiling.

Levi: This situation brought up so many things behind the scenes. Keagile is organising a ritual to introduce me to the ancestors.
“Ancestors?” I gasped. “Are you going to do it? I don’t believe in ancestors and I wouldn’t want the baby to be involved in rituals.” My tone was sharper than expected.
Levi put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around gently to face the mirror. His hands replaced my own on my neck, and he pressed his thumb in circular motions that eased away the tension there.

“Your parents will take my child to church and I don’t believe in that so it’s only fair that he or she participates in rituals if that’s what my dad wants. I can’t agree to follow your culture and your religion and then choose to neglect mine.”
“There is a difference between paying damages and slaughtering animals to appease the ancestors. Jesus died on the cross for us so we don’t have to do that.” I said softly.
His low ‘sounds like picking and choosing cultural practices’ was a cross between a jab and a groan.
“You guys can go ahead but I won’t be part of the rituals and I won’t eat meat dedicated to ancestors.” I said, trying to avoid a fight. “Has your dad asked you to change your surname?”
Levi: He did but I am not going to change my surname. I had a long chat with the coach on the way back from Petersburg today and he made me realise that I am a Cohan and I am English and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve always wanted to claim a black ethnic group to feel black enough but I can’t just claim something I know nothing of. I can’t even speak the dialect.

We locked eyes through the mirror and I was glad to hear that he was closer to defining his identity. “If you tell your mother that the Mmolas have agreed to send a delegation she will make sure that your uncles change their tune.” I said.
“You’re right. They wouldn’t want something like that to happen. What do I need to do to get a date to pay lobola and damages? How does it work?” Levi asked.

His hands were on my shoulders now, working magic that made me sure I’d melt into a puddle at any moment. My annoyance with the Cohans and the idea that my child was going to be subjected to rituals was sabotaged by Levi’s massage, which was relaxing me whether I wanted it to or not.
“Are you asking because you want to get back into my pants?” I joked and the sound of our laughter filled the bathroom.
“I don’t have to bring cows to do that when I know all your buttons.” He purred in my ear. The kisses he placed behind my earlobe and down my neck erased the last shred of self-control I had.
“I’ll have to speak to my grandfather about that and see what he says but I think you have to write a letter and address it to my father.” I informed him and we both knew at that point that there was a war ahead of us and his cows were going to be sent packing.
“I will talk to my dad about this when we travel down there for the Durban July next weekend. Hopefully he will know about the pregnancy by then, I’m afraid someone will say something and it will be all over the papers.” I voiced out a concern.

“Lobola, damages and customs aside don’t you want to do the white thing and elope? If anything, that’s also part of my English culture.” He said. I froze, his words sinking in. “We can just go and sign. We don’t have to tell anyone about it when it’s done but we will know.” Levi went on.
“As in get married?” I clarified.
“Yes.” He sounded so casual.
“We can’t just get married. That’s like…. huge.” All the words in my vocabulary failed to describe the severity of what he was saying.
“Having a baby is huge.” Levi countered.
“Kris and Bruce got married a month after her divorce from Rob Kardashian, look at them now. Khloe and Lemar got married thirty days after they met, look where that got them.” I turned to face him. “Let’s just take things slow, park in the engaged box for a while before we rush into marriage.” I said calmly.
Levi grunted dismissively. “The Kardashians? Really babe? You cannot use a family whose claim to fame is a sex tape that was leaked by the mother as the yardstick for marriage.”
“Maria Carey and Nick Cannon were married after a month of knowing each other and they are divorced.” I stated emphatically.
“Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting tied the knot six months after their blind date and they are still married. Better yet, Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim have been married for over a decade and they got engaged two months after they met at the restaurant where she worked. They got married six months later. We have actually known each other for a very long time.” He turned me around and continued his massage. “My mom gives us updates on celebs, I don’t read gossip magazines.” His disclaimer made me chuckle.

“Why do you want to get married? We don’t have to get married just because we are having a baby.” I reminded him.
“I want us to get married because we are having a child together and I do not want my first born to be born out of wedlock. I also want to marry you because you are the woman I want to build a life with. You make me smile even when you are not around, because the very idea of you delights me. You make me laugh out loud till my belly hurts. You laugh when I fart in my sleep or when I sneeze and you genuinely adore every quirk and flaw. Because of you I accept my flaws and I am no longer as self-conscious on shoots. You respect my profession and the status it affords me in society but you see the man not the soccer player, which is a rare find.

You listen to me without judgment and you make me feel safe just by looking at me in the eye or holding me in your tiny little arms. Sometimes we communicate without actually saying anything out loud. You inspire me, you push me to think, you push me to be a man and you challenge me to be the best version of myself for myself and for you. You have also helped me find parts of myself I would have otherwise supressed by inspiring me to take risks I wouldn’t otherwise embrace.

You drive me absolutely insane sometimes and I want to chop you into little pieces and sell your organs in the black market but even on those days I would rather be arguing with you than kissing someone else. I don’t need another year or two to decide if you are truly ‘the one’ for me. You are the one I get to pick and promise forever to. Not only make a promise but make a covenant because you have taught me that kisses are not contracts, mere words aren’t eternally binding and promises aren’t vows so I want to make vows. I know we are far from perfect. Our life together will be imperfect too, but ours is the kind of love that’s needs us to throw it all in and take a stab at this marriage thing.”
Me: Even if we decided to do this, shouldn’t we take time to talk about a prenuptial contract, premarital counselling and stuff like that?
Levi: You are rightfully entitled to half of whatever I make. That’s only fair if I expect you to uproot your life and support me while I chase my dream.
Levi slid my top over one shoulder, his lips brushed across the exposed skin. The scruff of his face made me tingly. Right or wrong, I wasn’t capable of stopping this. It was too blissful. It felt right. I’d always wanted the moments we shared to last forever. I was a woman being brought to life by a man who made me feel again.

I loved my independence. I loved being able to fend for myself. But knowing that I could trust him to take care of me financially and psychologically felt better than I’d ever thought possible. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arm wound around my back to brace the impact when he shoved me against the tiled wall.
“I don’t have a helicopter right now and it isn’t written in the stars but, will you marry me tomorrow?” His question was insane. He was insane.
What were we thinking? ….. were we thinking?

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10 June 2016 at 03:49 delete

I'm enjoying reading this so much

mzansi stories
14 June 2016 at 04:29 delete

you welcome