A Walk On Love's Dark Side Chapter 69 - Mzansi Stories

Saturday, July 9

Wizzy

A Walk On Love's Dark Side Chapter 69

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Chapter 69
Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good,long session of weeping can often make you feel better,even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Lemony snicket
There was nothing else I could do than cry, life has failed me once more. Call me weak or whatever,I could care less. I was hurt. Infact I was jolted by the whole thing. I couldn't imagine losing Ria, I needed her more than ever. I just sat there with my arms around her. I was speechless. I could have told her everything was going to be alright but I couldn't because I was overwhelmed by fear. The fear of ' what if'. We sat there until she dozed off then I took her to bed. It took me some time before I could doze off but eventually I did.
The next morning I woke up and prepared the kids to go be with their grandma. It was weekend and we planned to spend the day at crocodile and reptile park but I decided I was going to see the Doctor with Ria.
Above it all, Ria could still fight this thing and triumph over it. It was still possible. All I had to do was be supportive.
The doctors visit went well, he told us Ria still had the chance to fight the cancer as it was still on the early stage and the only problem might be the side effects of the treatment she was going to undergo.
There might have been hope but I felt like my life was dwindling at the passing of each day. I felt hopeless. Ria spent most of her days sleeping after work and I couldn't say much to her. I even sent the boys to Tembisa for some time because the environment we were in was not good for them. Dinah knew what was going on and she tried talking to Ria but no one could get to her. She was in her own world and not allowing anyone into it.
I turned to alcohol, I don't know how but I couldnt go a day without my whiskey. It just helped me feel better for some reason. I could focus better at work with it and mind you, I was busy with my PhD. That thing is hard. The research was doing my head in and home was just a place I didn't wanna go to.
" babe we need to talk" I said as I woke Ria up.
" but Mordecai, I am sleeping" she said putting the blanket over her head.
" like hell you are ( I removed the blanket). Everyday after work you are sleeping. as if that's not enough, you only talk to me when you see fit. You hardly reply to what I say. What kind of a life is this. Did we sign up for this. Get up woman" I shouted
She got up and just looked at me. She was taken aback by what I just did or say but I didn't care. I wanted my wife back. I understand that the treatment had a lot of side effects that were overwhelming but her fatigue was like a disease now.

" how are we going to get through this if you keep on shutting me out. Like really now, I'm your husband through thick and thin, not when you feel like it" I said holding her hands.
We talked for some time and she promised to let me in. We made love, gosh I couldn't even remember the last time we did that. I was just greatful that maybe our family would be back to how it used to be.
Ria's POV
We might be diagnosed with the same disease but we will never deal with it the same way.
I was tired emotionally and physically. I didn't even have the energy to spend time with my boys. I couldn't. The nausea and vomitting was also making things worse. I felt like it was better to stop with the treatment. But who I was kidding, I had to do it. At least do it for my boys.
The little talk I had with Mordecai wasn't helping. Well he talked about being there for me but he was hardly there. He would come back home late and he blamed it on his PhD. Alcohol was like his best friend. I did ask Allan to talk to him but it never worked.
I did stop sleeping every now and then but he was just another creature. Its like he stopped caring and I even thought he might have been cheating with that Amanda chick. I mean she was all he ever talked about when he finally got the chance to talk. Oh and the sex was just bad, he would come back from God knows where and start sweating on top of me. The worst part he would be smelling of alcohol. I felt like I was just his robot that was there to give him sex when he wanted to. I couldn't even wait for it to end, everytime he was on top of me. It was not even spontaneous anymore, all he did was missionary style. I don't know what happened to my Mordecai because he wasnt the same. Talking was not helpful because he would doze off in the middle of the conversation.
Maybe this relationship was never meant to work. He got me thinking about divorce. Something I never wanted.
I was still going to work and I did try to keep my happy mood when I was there so nobody could suspect a thing.
Friday night I was busy watching one of favorite series when I received a phone call from Allan. It was around past 8 and I thought Mordecai was busy with his PhDs because he wasn't back yet.
Me: hello Allan. How are you doing?.
Allan: not good Ria. I have bad news.
I wasn't surprised or anything. Bad news was all I seemed to get.
Me: OK shoot.
Allan: Mordecai has been arrested. I need you to come down to sandton police station.
Me: Oh that wasn't the bad news I expected. He probably got arrested for drunk driving. Let him stay the weekend, he will probably learn more things for his PhD.
Allan: Ria its more serious than that. Please just get here.
My heart started beating fast. What the hell has he done now?

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