Dygo-Ring of Lies, Secrets & Betrayals Chapter 11 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, July 28


Dygo-Ring of Lies, Secrets & Betrayals Chapter 11


Its been a week since that fateful weekend. I haven't heard from Milano ever since then. I didn’t know which hospital he was at. If he was still in hospital etc etc. I tried his phone almost daily and all the time it was on voicemail. The most frustrating thing was that I had known Milano for over a year but I knew nothing about his family nor relatives. I had no one to call to find out about him. Even that policeman who gave me his business card was no use. The only contact details on that card was an office number. I tried calling him, hoping he could tell me which hospital did he go to on that Friday night; but I never even got to speak to him. So I threw it away. I tried our Human Resources department at work, but they refused to give me any personal information about a staff member.
I was beginning to think maybe Milano was avoiding me purposely or keeping his distance away from me. I must say I couldn't blame him for wanting nothing to do with me. More especially after what he did for me, for Kevin and our kids. Although a part of me was hurt by the silence, another part of me was ready and prepared for whatever decision he might have taken regarding our friendship. I already send him two smses. First one I was asking where he was and how he was doing. The second one I was thanking him for everything he had done and giving him report on Kevin.
As for Kevin, after I left his hospital room that day, I phoned Mamo to come fetch me from hospital. I also asked her to bring Kevin’s cellphone as we rushed to hospital with his car. I didn’t want to drive his car back home and was also avoiding a situation where he will have an excuse to come over to fetch it. In my heart I wanted nothing to do with him.
While waiting for Mamo, I decided to phone one of his family members. I tried Rethabile, and couldn’t get hold of her. His parents were also unreachable. I decided to phone princess Reatli. I didn’t say much. I just told her to go to hospital to see his beloved brother. She wanted to ask me questions about Kevin but I cut him off. Mamo arrived and took out Kevin’s cellphone. Before she gave it to me she apologised to me saying she answered the phone on his way here. I told her that it was okay and out of curiosity asked her who called Kevin. She said the first call was from Ntate Tau’s little sister Reatlehile, hence she answered. She went on saying that they got cut off and ten minutes later when the second call came through, she thought it was Reatlehile again, and answered the phone. She said as soon as she said Hallo, the caller hung up.
I took Kevin’s cellphone and went to received calls. I saw Reatli’s name, and Mama O'Twins. Right there I knew who the caller was, yes turned out it was none other than the famous Sheryl Gosiame. I told Mamo to wait up for me as I was going to give Kevin his cellphone. Before I got to his room, I redialled Mama O'Twins numbers and she answered immediately..
Sheryl: Hey motho-waka! Are you okay? Reatli just told me that you are in hospital. She’s on her way to pick me up. Hang in there motho-waka we will see you shortly!
I hung up. I won’t say it didn’t hurt me. I won’t say I was not disappointed. You know while waiting for Mamo to pick me up, I dug deep in my soul and my heart to find that “I still loved and cared about Kevin’s spot”. I even asked God to soften my hardened heart to forgive Kevin and maybe even give him a benefit of the doubt and believe that he was truly willing to change and be a better man. I was thinking maybe I was a bit hard on him and maybe I should take him back to our house and help him until he recovered...
But just the thought of that woman back in Kevin’s life changed everything and made me believe that I made a right decision to let go of Kevin.
I was not going to go through the same circle over and over again with same results. Nor matter what, the Taus will always treat Sheryl like Kevin’s choice and also my equal as mother of their grandchildren. And Kevin has a very soft spot for her even through out his memory loss, Sheryl was in his mind. And it was not going to change. She will always be a painful reminder of everything I lost.
Painful as it was, I had to accept that my role in Kevin’s life was over. He will always have a substitute wife and substitute twins. As for me and my kokoberries, we would always be the other family he can never have. The replaceable family. And Reatlehile Baloye was making sure of that.
I finally reached Kevin’s room and went inside. I must say Kevin was so happy to see me back in his room. He almost jumped to give me a hug. He just said “ Thank you God for bringing you back. I thought I was never going to see you again. Thank you Bobo.” Those words cut deep into my heart but, unfortunately it was a little too late. My mind was made up.
I went closer to his bed and handed him his cellphone and told him that his sister and his girlfriend were on their way to see him. I did not even wait to hear his views or feelings about the statement I made. I just wished him well and left the hospital.
I never spoke nor checked up on Kevin ever since. He tried calling me several times but I ignored his calls. I did not have energy for his million apologies.
On Tuesday, two weeks after the shooting and the overdosing saga, I got an sms from Milano. I must say seeing his name popping on my screen brought a smile on my face until I read the sms. I was so disappointed and hurt by the contents of the message .I must say more than anything I felt rather betrayed.
Betrayal is a destructive force that leaves many ruins in its path. It changes everything. Relationships and all those affected will never be the same again. The damage done can be irreparable. Trust is lost. Wounds run deep. Anger persists. Hearts are broken. Self-protective walls are erected. Pain is long and lasting. And we wonder…. Can trust ever be restored? Do wounds ever heal? Will anger cease to exist? Can hearts be repaired? Will the self-protective walls ever come down? Does the pain ever go away?
It is true that betrayal is so deadly to our souls and our physic. It has so much power over us to the point where we question everything about ourselves. We blame ourselves in a large degree for allowing someone to betray us. Though that is as ridiculous as it sounds, there is no other way sometimes to internalize it. The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend and or a loved one..
A damaging aspect of betrayal is that our sense of reality is undermined. What felt like solid trust suddenly crumbles. Our innocence is shattered. We’re left wondering: What happened? How could this happen? Who is this person?That's how reading that message made me feel.
Trust me, I know what betrayal feels like. Though our situations are different I know how it feels to wake up and realize you have been sleeping next to a liar ( literally). To realise that the person you trusted was capable of sticking a sharp knife right deep into your heart. You have been living a lie. It’s the most devastating feeling I’ve ever known.
I read that message more than three times, trying to make sense of it. But every time I reached the end of that message it confused me. Milano and I were clear about the nature of our relationship. We were very close friends. Nothing more and nothing less. But his message was contradictory , insulting and shocking.
Yeah betrayal is shocking; especially unexpected one. This is how I initially responded to that shock.
I went from Denial – thinking , there's no way he could have done that! I know him! He would never have pulled that crap! Then followed the Anger – thinking , all man are the same type of anger. I trusted him and he does this to me? To Bargaining - because I KNOW and TRUST this person. Doing what they've done just isn't in their character, right? It could have been circumstantial, a brief lapse in judgement, some misunderstanding, Not this bullcrap. Then came Depression – I was shattered, losing someone you've trusted leaves a hole in your life and routine, whether this was a business relationship or a personal one. It's difficult to see what could possibly go where something previously simply was and was going to be. Then lastly I had to Accept the reality of the message.
For the fact that Milano took his time to type that message, telling me that we should cut any form of contact between us, told me to not fight it. I must say it was cowardly and painful. Who did he think he was? Telling me how to run my life? Yes he might have saved the father of my kids from going to jail and perhaps even ensuring that I do not become accessory to a crime. Cool! We appreciated his kindness and generosity and for that we will forever be grateful.
But for him to feel entitled to tell me that I needed to focus on fixing and rebuilding my marriage and forget about him was just bizarre and crossing the line. I get his decision to give his marriage a second chance, good for him. But for him to meddle in my affairs and asking me to respect his decision and accept that our relationship can never continue because it would never work out , was just so upsetting. For starters, we were not in a relationship so I didn’t understand the point of that message. For a moment I was convinced that this message was meant for someone else until I saw my name.
To put a sour cherry on top of the cake was his last statement saying: he was sorry for leading me on and giving me false hope. And that he was just lonely and needed some distraction. Whatever we had was just a fling and should end immediately because his wife is back home for good and he need to focus on her.”
I must say that message made no sense. It was complete, utter bullshit! I couldn’t understand what exactly was Milano trying to say. Whatever he smoked before typing that message must have been too strong for him or the medication he was taking was messing with his mind. Honestly speaking, that message was pure nonsense at its best. What was he thinking? He must be delusional and crazy.
Don’t get me wrong, Milano is one hell of a man. He’s everything a woman can ask for in a man, in all senses but I never thought he thought we were in some kind of a rebound relationship that he now felt he should end via an sms. How low can he stoop really? Me ? His distraction? What a nerve!
A part of me wanted to phone him and give him a piece of my mind but I decided not to. Hurting as I was, I decided to let it go. Maybe I somehow gave him wrong message or came across as someone who needed more than just a friendship . Well too bad because he seemingly want nothing to do with me and wanted us to cut any communication between us. So, I took it like a strong woman.
Besides, the only choice I felt I had was to just accept that our friendship was over, and it was time I redefined my destination.
Not so long ago, I was surrounded by two man. One almost died and the other one nearly killed himself by drugs. Life neh? So complicated and funny. But here I was without one of them. One “dumped me through an sms and he was now busy working on his marriage” and the other one I dumbed him at his lowest point but trusted and prayed that the mother of his O'TWINS and his beloved sister would take good care of him.
How ironic.
They say life goes on. That’s true. I had to rearrange the dream I’d dreamed for myself and my kids. I had to cut those two man out of the picture and be ok looking at that picture without them in it. Then I had to decide what I, Obonolo wanted with my life. When I realized that I OWNED the power to make that choice and those decisions, everything changed for me.
I made a decision to focus on strengthening my relationship with God and being a super mom to my kokoberries.
A month later Milano was back at work. Everyone was happy that he was back and well, so was I. I treated him like a colleague. I was being way too professional. At some point he would joke with me and I would not laugh at those jokes. For a week I kept myself so busy and avoided him. Sometimes during lunch time I would go to Sandton Mall to avoid him wanting to have lunch with me.
Then one Friday after work He came into my office and locked the door. I looked at him with shock and asked him to get out of my office so that I could pack my stuff and go home. He told me that he was not going to leave until we talk about my sudden cold shoulder towards him. At first I told him that there was nothing to talk about and that I was not giving him a cold shoulder , I was merely busy. He didn’t seem to buy the” I am busy explanation” because he walked away from the door towards me, saying that He won’t leave until I tell him what was going on!
Nna: Milano, how many times must I tell you that I am just too busy with work?
Milano: Are you really that busy to sit with me and ask me how I was doing?
Nna: I thought I already asked you that when you came back from sick leave.
Milano: Really Nolo! That was so impersonal? I did not expect you to welcome me back like that?
Nna: What did you expect Milano?
Milano: Wow! Do you have to ask? I can’t believe what you just said.
Nna: What do you want from me Milano? I think I treated you the way any colleague should treat another. I didn’t want to be misunderstood or send a wrong message.
Milano: Heelang Nolo! Since when do you treat me with caution?
Nna: Please Milano, you know since when. And I prefer we leave it that way!
Milano: I don’t get you Nolo. I am so confused and frustrated and you are not helping me. The last time we were together, things were okay between us. Well apart from the unfortunate incident that happened. Le teng , I assured you that I didn’t nor I still don’t blame you for it. But your behaviour and attitude towards me, especially since I was back changed drastically! What have I done to you to be treated like that?
Nna: Look Milano, I am really sorry about everything that happened. I’m glad you are okay and I appreciate what you did for Kevin and I. I am not being funny or anything like that. I just think you and I should stick to being nothing but colleagues and avoid personal interactions so that we don’t misunderstand each other. Hope we are Okay.
Milano: Well, okay! even though I still don’t get it. I think there’s more than you are letting out. But I’m going to accept what you are saying, for now.
Nna: Okay cool. Now can you unlock the door and let me go home to my kids?
Milano: No problem. By the way How are the kokoberries? And how is your husband doing?
Nna: Really Milano? I thought I just said we should stick to being professional and avoid getting personal.
Milano: Please don’t treat me like that Nolo. Ke a ho kopa hle mme! I am not trying to impose. I just miss the times we were able to talk with no restrictions and cautions. I get it! You made it clear to me that you wanted to fix your marriage and I should give you space. I have given you enough space and I promise I won't interfere. But now I can’t even ask you how your family is doing? This is so painful Nolo.You know I curse that day I took you out and ended up being shot because if it wasn’t for that, you and I would still be okay.
Nna: Whoa! What are you talking about?
Milano: The long sms you send me a while back. About you fixing your marriage and asking me to focus on getting better and working things out with my wife! That’s what I’m talking about.
Nna: Wait a minute. I did not send you such sms. In fact you are the one that send me an sms saying exactly what you insinuating I said. You have all this mixed up Milano.
Milano: Now you are playing games with me right? Or have you forgotten about that painful message you sent me?
Okay! Now this is weird ! Looks like Milano has gone koekoes. Suddenly he is suffering from amnesia? And getting things twisted. Like really

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Thomas Rampa
28 July 2016 at 12:45 delete

Mme wee , o naledi..........

31 July 2016 at 15:05 delete

Rea leboga nolo...