Dygo-Ring of Lies, Secrets & Betrayals Chapter 2 - Mzansi Stories

Thursday, July 7

Wizzy

Dygo-Ring of Lies, Secrets & Betrayals Chapter 2

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ROLSB 2

My drive to work was filled with a train of thoughts.  I was thinking about the past and making plans for the future.
It felt so good to be off the roller-coaster.  True what they say, a broken heart can really knock the wind out of you. It can sweep you under the rug and knock you sideways. It makes you sick to your stomach on a daily basis. Makes you think you are seriously losing your mind.  It seems like I felt that way ever since the day I learned that my perfect life and my perfect husband was nothing close to perfection, over two years ago… My life was amazing and tragically sad the entire time.  And in the end, emotionally depleting and crushing.
After months of working through it, I vowed that if I ever felt “better” I’d promise to only love myself and my kids for the foreseeable future. No more roller- coaster.  No more waiting for a call or a text or a promise that will never be fulfilled. No more love.


I didn’t think I’d ever actually “feel better”.  But recently I realized that I finally do. I can finally go a day or even two without thinking about my marriage. Unlike in the past first weeks, I'm not even missing him, that’s huge.  And that’s the healing I’ve been waiting for.

It’s funny how when some things end others step up to fill that void, but in a different way, and that’s what I’ve discovered had slowly been happening all along.

Six months ago I made a decision that I wanted to build stronger friendships with my friends, close contact with my family and work on those relationships for a change. And then from no where, came just that friendship.  When I wasn’t expecting it, and from the most unlikely direction, and it has changed me in so many amazing ways.

It seems like the past months I’d lost close contact with everyone close to me, so many people who just couldn’t or didn’t want to make this journey with me.  I’d pushed everyone away,  gotten more closed off with each exit, and less and less attached to anyone but my kids.

And then He came into my life and cracked me up, and reminded me I can still laugh like crazy, and be stupid, and be myself, both the good and the bad… and he reminded me what it feels like to have someone caring for you , and have only your best interest at heart,  just for you.  I feel so blessed and grateful that I could let go of something so painful on one hand, and open myself up to something even more amazing on the other.

Oh Yes,  Milano was that friend who supported me through my tough times without pushing any agendas.
And it feels fucking great to be off the emotional roller-coaster of love let me tell you! No plans to hop back on that crazy love roller-coaster any time soon!!!

I must admit, Milano was such a God-sent friend when I really needed one. Going to work was something I looked forward to everyday. My weekends were just dull without him but I made sure I spend as much time with the kokoberries as I could. That was my life. And I was content with it.

As I reach the end of the stormy season and start the new page of my life....  The remaining of my life... I asked myself one question: Obonolo,  Where to from here?
Is there some  light at the end of the tunnel. At least I hoped so.

My birthday went well. Not too much festivities. Cake from my colleagues,  couple of emails and smses... the obvious Facebook posts, my family who knew my state of mind and the reminder of this day. The Tau clan all send smses,  including Reatlehile. I got gifts, flowers and chocolates, the works. Unfortunately, nothing from Kevin. Not even an sms.

Of all the people who called, I must say my mother's phone call made me think twice about my life and my future.  She said I should live.  She said I have been in hiding and stopped writing the book of my life.  So since 25th October is the new season and new era of my life,  I should stop paging through my outdated book of life and rewrite a new one. She said I need to let go and let God.  She said I just need to try on some new life glasses. Put on a nice shiny imaginary pair and look at my life  through those new glasses for a minute, my own new personal life. She further said I should imagine what I can do with my new clean slate. Start to make a dream for it, a vision for it… and step by step, slowly but surely I will walk myself out of that dark tunnel into the light. She concluded by saying the best advise for me on this special day would be for me to remember that the greatest thing about starting over, is that I get to “reset” the destination. Determine my own outcomes. Dream bigger or redefine it. She said Today it’s time for making choices that will affect my future, make it a powerful transition and not a dreaded one. All it really takes is a dream, and to believe that I can do this. That this was MY time and that I can make this next chapter of my life ANYTHING I want it to be. ANYTHING.

For most of the day I kept checking my phone,  I guess a part of me as hoping for that one sms from that one person... but instead, a profound smses came through my phone.
It  just read :“Happiness is just waiting for when you are ready. Happy Birthday.”

Wow...

The message flashed across my brain that day as I was driving home from work in rush hour traffic. I closed my eyes. Let the music give me goosebumps. Let it move me. I inch forward in traffic and look at the blue sky reflecting on the far sight. A site so rare, I can count the days on two hands, when the sun has shone and the sky has been this bright.  I let the music lift me, and the reflection of the sunset warm my hair through the open sunroof. This is what I do when I can’t, or don’t want to lift myself. I let the music do it for me.

I had to, because I’d listened to Somebody That I Used To Know fourteen times in a row the past thirty minutes.  Driving down the highway with my mind scattered and lost in the words of the song I was listening to. At least I’m making progress. I have a love/hate relationship with music, this is becoming clear to me.

Lyrics always move me. Maybe because with my crazy life I don’t have much time to read, watch TV or anything else, so music is what speaks the language of my soul.  It’s like a friend who listens, doesn’t judge and knows exactly what you are going through. Some songs sounds like they were written just for me.

Milano’s message kept playing in the back of my mind. It really spoke volumes. I could picture him saying that straight to my face: Happiness is just waiting for when you are ready, Nolo. When you are truly ready, happiness will always be there. It’s been chilling and waiting on your front door.  Waiting for you to stop dancing with sadness, and open the door to allow happiness to take over from here. It’s just waiting. Waiting for you, to want it more than you want sadness.

So so true.. . Happiness is a choice. And from this moment forward I chose to be happy.

I think I was finally ready... Ready to be happy, ready to let go completely of anything that makes me sad and miserable, ready to stop grieving and embrace the wonderful memories created, ready to allow myself a fresh start, ready to turn the first page and start writing a new chapter, ready to live my life.

As I reached my home,  I was now listening to Louis Armstrong’s song : What a Wonderful World, trying to get in a positive state of mind before walking into the house to greet my babies. I was just trying to brush off the events of the day. Wipe my mind clean, so as not to let the stress and tension ruin our night. We were being spoiled for dinner by my handsome young brother Olefile.

Olefile brought his new bae, Rebaone Makweng ( aka One, as affectionately introduced to us). I must say, my brother has good taste when it comes to women. One was such a pretty lady, unlike Sego, she was well mannered, humble and very shy. I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. I even whispered on Ole's ears that , “she’s definitely a keeper.”

We all arrived on time and was treated to a five star kind of dinner. Joining us was my helpers, the twins, Omontle my younger sister and her daughter Oratile , mamogolo Tsitsi with her five(5) months old baby boy Oreneetse-Khumo, big brother Rhudzani, big sister Andzani, proud daddy uncle Dave Bogatsu, Rethabile and her partner Botshelo.

We mingled, laughed, drank and ate good food. The birthday dinner went very well. After the dessert Ole surprised One with a diamond ring. One was taken by surprise as Mr Dire knelt down and asked her to make him the happiest man in the world.. It was so emotional and romantic seeing how smitten the two were. Rebaone said yes. We all congratulated the young newly engaged couple. New memories for my birthday were created. Sad memories replaced with such beautiful one. I thanked Ole for such a special evening.

We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

As I end my birthday.. here's to true friends who support you, stand by you, and love you through the good and bad. Here’s to choosing your family and investing only on those people who are worth it.

***0000000000000***

Just before I slept a call came through my phone. I checked caller Id. Ohh it was Kevin. I was wondering why he was calling? I hadn’t heard from him for two weeks now. Earlier at the birthday dinner Rethabile told me that she was worried about her brother. Apparently he was drowning into alcohol and was way too frustrated. I hesitated to answer, but decided to just hear him out.

Nna: Dumela Karabello Tau...
Kev: Hallo mofumahadi wa pelo yaka, mme wa bana-baka,  mosadi wa khomo tsa ntate waka, Bobowapelo yaka, honourable birthday girl....

What was that all about? Whoa! Did he just call me all those sweet names? Really? And Oh! He remembered my birthday.😙❤

Wait a minute! Did Kevin regain his memory and remembered who I was to him? Remembered everything?

Not Edited. Due to time. I wanted to fulfill my promise and stick to my posting Schedule.  Enjoy

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2 comments

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
16 July 2016 at 14:15 delete

Wow lovely Nolo
Thank you again

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Diary ya ya Obonolo
AUTHOR
27 July 2016 at 08:55 delete

Thank you my lovely fan

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