Unscripted love Chapter 90 - Mzansi Stories

Tuesday, August 30


Unscripted love Chapter 90


Peeling off the bandages
The alarm clock on the nightstand said it was six o’clock. The sun was still peeking through the window, showing in the spots the curtain didn’t cover. Levi carried me to the bed as if I was as light as a pillow. I’d fallen asleep on the couch again, seemingly the only place where I wasn’t haunted by nightmares while Levi was at school or running errands.
I fought to keep my eyes open, but they seemed to hide below my eyelids ever so often. I tried to think of the exact reason why I was so exhausted before most people got home from work, but I couldn’t think clearly. It then occurred to me that there were practically a thousand reasons for my tiredness, some more than others.

Hailey-Hope was my constant beacon of hope. There is something beautiful about coming into motherhood. The process of having a child growing inside of me was by far the most amazing thing I’d witnessed. It was a process like no other. An experience like no other. I was moody, hormonal, tired and running to the bathroom ten times a minute but I was so excited. I thanked God for trusting me with a life.
“Stay,” I whispered to Levi when he walked into our room. “Please.”
It was unfair of me to ask him to stay with me instead of going to one of his friends’ bachelor parties as a result of my own insecurities. I clutched the soft material of Levi’s shirt collar. He placed me underneath the blankets and tucked me into them snugly. I sighed and closed my eyes, slightly parted my lips as I was overwhelmed with warmth.
Levi sat on the edge of the bed and I felt his fingers brush through my hair as it rested loosely on the pillow. They moved down my jawline and to my neck. His touch made me tense and I hoped he didn’t notice. He made it incredibly easy to distract myself from my thoughts. I was supposed to face the past events head on but Levi was a drug that made me forget. The problem was, I all but willed him to continue. I longed to always feel something-anything-other than pain.
“I had to make a hard decision today,” Levi mumbled, grazing the raised surfaces of my collarbone. My eyes fluttered open and he looked into them deeply. “I met up with my mother….. and Joel today. I showed them my bank statements and I asked for all my money back even though we agreed that I wouldn’t do that.
The money is in our joint account. I took my DB 11 back, I view that as interest on my investment in my mind. I also told my mother that we would be joining her on the trip.
You have to understand that I went against your wishes because I love you and Bokamoso. Both of you don’t deserve to wonder where we will get money to buy bread. You deserve a beautiful home with a nursery and food in the fridge that I bought. You don’t deserve to be anything other than happy, baby…. loved.
I’ve also been doing some thinking about Sandiso’s inheritance that he left you. I think you should take the money. Donate it to my uncle’s cause. They help broken men like Sandiso, give them counselling and guidance that they need but can’t afford. I believe that Sandiso would have been different if he got the help that he needed.”
“Come here,” my voice was throaty as I held back tears. I pulled the covers back and waited for him to crawl underneath. He draped them back over us both and drew me to his chest. I buried my face in his neck and exhaled. His arm was wrapped around my body firmly. I brought my palm to his cheek, moved my thumb back and forth across it.
“I will honour the decisions you have made as the head of the house.” I said. I figured this is what the bible called for when wives were instructed to submit to their husbands.
Levi stiffened vaguely, holding me tighter to him. His lips pressed against my eyelid, something he hadn’t done in a while. We lay in silence for a while, pondering over the nothingness of the situation.
“I will stay home. Your bums are the only buttocks I’m interested in seeing anyway.” Levi’s voice pierced the silence.
Our laughter filled the room his friends so generously allowed us to stay in for free. It suddenly hit me that Levi hadn’t seen the buttocks he was referring to since I got back.
We remained under the covers for a short while. Every so often I felt Levi stir next to me. His legs tangled with mine and I pushed myself against him. He offered both heat and comfort, two things I couldn’t live without. Occasionally, his hand brushed my stomach when my shirt moved upward.
“Can you please read the letter Sandiso left with his will?” I whispered, nudging my nose to his arm gently.
He reached over and grabbed it from the pedestal without protest. He ripped the envelope open and pointed at the top of the page. “I don’t know what that is.”
I glanced to the words he was pointing at. “Sthandwa sami.[My love]”
“Okay whatever that is, …if you are reading this then it means that God has called me home. I’m leaving you this letter because it’s the only way I can tell you everything I want to in a reasonable and coherent way. Trying to express everything in here all at once and through words is impossible and I want to make sure I make myself very clear and understandable.” He started off.
“I know that we cannot control how people view us or what they remember about us when we pass but I see so much anger in your eyes and I am afraid that the one person I lived for will only remember me as a monster and tap dance on my grave.
I feel the need to remind you that we are so much more than the hurt that we inflicted on each other. Our love was something that people spoke about, envied and wished they had. The kind of love people pray for, the kind of love that makes your heart sink because you are completely and absolutely happy with each other. It is what Westlife had in mind when they spoke of love that is unbreakable in our song.
What we had was something really amazing. Something that I can hardly explain with my words. I cherish the time we had together as it was the best experiences of my life.
Thank you for showing me how real love can be, thank you for pushing me to be a better version of myself, for pushing me to see how much I can do for myself. For helping me see the world in a different way. Thank you for letting my ears be the ones to listen to you when you needed to express yourself and needed an outlet. Thank you for teaching me that there’s more to love than physically being together, thank you for trusting in me and investing in me. Thank you for every single nice thing you said and did with me, thank you for loving me.
I’m just blessed to have spent seven years with my best friend because from the very beginning, I never had to pretend to be someone I’m not. You knew exactly how defective I was but you loved me anyway.
I want you to know that I never loved you less after our love story ended and you started another story with other people. I still loved you the same and because your child is an extension of you, I loved her too. I would have treated her the same as our own, which is why I included her in the trust fund that we always said we would have for the kids.
I’m not writing this to try and make you forget the hurt that overshadows all the good, I just want to try to let you know (even though words will never be enough) how much you meant to me, how much all we did meant to me. You made me feel like I was actually worth something and I can never thank you enough for that.
If you remember nothing else, just remember that I loved you the best way I knew how.
- Sandiso”
I kissed my thank you to Levi and a rush of emotions hit me like a brick wall. Tears pooled at the edges of my eyes, threatening to slide down my cheeks in salty droplets. I couldn’t help but hug Levi, wrapping my arms around his side.
“Ummmm,” I muttered, lips pressed against his ear. “I am willing to donate the money I inherited to your uncle’s program but I don’t want anything to do with the trust fund. We are Haile-Hope’s parents and an ex of mine can’t be giving her money.” I said before we fell into comfortable silence again.
“To think that we won’t be able to sit in silence when the baby is born. I hope we don’t get one of those babies that cry all the time.” I said, breaking the silence.
“I can’t wait to meet her. I feel sorry for you though…. You can’t even walk properly.”
“I walk properly.”
He giggled. “No, you walk like a penguin.”
I laughed at the joke at my expense. “That’s because my feet are swollen. I don’t even have ankles anymore.”
“Sleep in the opposite direction so that I can rub your feet,” he instructed. I smiled back at him as I complied, it’s as if he could read my mind.
He gave me a much needed foot massage. When he was done he placed a single kiss on my swollen ankle and another one on my knee while he ran his hand up my thigh. I couldn’t resist the need his caresses created. I sat up and placed a lingering kiss on his smile and his hands were quick to hold me there, kissing me back with an electric charge that alighted me. The way his lips moved over mine had me begging for more.
His fingers stopped their light dance on my leg. “Are you still going to meet Sbahle for dinner?” Levi spoke into my mouth, pulling back just enough so his lips tickled mine.
“Something came up,” I responded. His lips travelled from my mouth to my neck as his hand travelled higher and higher up my leg.
“Is this what you meant?”
“Hmm,” I agreed with a soft moan when he dropped his lips to my collarbone.
I pulled back and tugged my shirt off, a clear indication that I wanted to travel down that road again.
Levi’s hand cupped under one breast, pushing it towards his mouth. He nipped at the skin of the enlarged breasts, and then looked up to me with a dirty grin. “Beautiful…”
Aware of the fact that he couldn’t reach down without pressing down the belly he pulled me towards him by my wrists, his other hand sliding around my back.
Our lips met and he wrapped me up in his arms till I was straddling him with the bump between us. His hands were gentle as they travelled over my skin, but his hold was firm. He stripped off the rest of my clothes with light, unrushed touches, and kisses that lingered on my skin. By the time he was naked over me, kneeling on the bed with my legs on either side of him, he’d explored every inch of my skin, front and back with reverent lips and hands, and every cell in my body sang for his attention, but it was nothing compared to when he was inside me.
The pleasure, the need, the release. The connection was more than our bodies joining. It was a language I felt, promises I tasted, a tenderness I heard in every kiss. We floated in it all, extending the moment for as long as we could, till my body was exhausted from the rush and his muscles quaked the strain of holding back. In a final thrust he held onto my hands, tender kisses kept me with him even as my body spun into orbit. A primeval groan that seemed to start in his legs and roll up his body was given voice by his mouth.
We didn’t move for several long minutes, savouring the feel of being locked together in a warm embrace. “I love you, bun.”
“I love you too, dumpling.”
“Oh my word, I hate dumplings”
“You are still my dumpling,” I said as my body vibrated with giggles.
“Let’s go and freshen up and get ready. I want to take you out on a date.”
“Awwww that’s nice, I missed date night.”
“Everything is back to normal now. Call Sbahle and see if Alu is available, double dates are so much fun.”
My brow furrowed. “They broke up, remember?”
“No. When did that happen?”
“Kwame was at ‘my funeral’. He flew to South Africa when he heard the news and he has been here since. He says the experience made him realise that life is unpredictable and he could lose Sbahle anytime so he didn’t want to spend another day away from her.” I told Levi.
“So what happened to Alu? I thought he gave Sbahle everything she wasn’t getting from Kwame.” Levi gasped.
I responded by singing the line “the heart wants what it wants.”
He got off the bed and helped me get up. “Now you have to sing the rest of the song while we get ready. I rubbed your feet, so you have to sing me a song.”
I snorted a chuckle. “Deal.”
Date night turned out to be just us two with Hailey-Hope kicking to make her presence known. It was perfect, just like the old times when we didn’t agonise over every cent we spent.
It was a lovely, sunny afternoon in Victoria, Seychelles. I couldn't help but look up from the pregnancy magazine every few seconds to gaze out the vast seas. It wasn't that I was not interested in what I was reading, it was merely the fact that the view was so intriguing.
Flowers bloomed everywhere. Different shades of red, orange and violets could be seen. Birds were chattering on a nearby tree. I was curled up on a 2 seater chair outside our hotel. My legs curled under me, I was admiring the breath-taking scene of the foreign land. The clouds seemed to touch the mountains. It looked as if they were whispering to each other. There was a faint sound of water hitting the rocks in the background. A cool breeze blew and a strand of hair fell on my face. Everything was so calm.
For some reason, nature made me feel less, despite the fact that I was in a great big, beautifully furnished, exquisitely decorated hotel it is the simplicity of nature that intrigued me the most. It made me remember when times were simpler, when I was simpler.
While I was lost in my thoughts, someone that dawned Levi’s favourite scent covered my eyes from behind. I was amused and just smiled instead of trying to guess who it was.
“Aren’t you even going to guess who it is?” If his scent wasn’t a dead giveaway, his voice sure was.
“I have a pretty good idea.” I said, laughing.
“Scoot over.” He instructed.
It was like the world and thoughts disappeared whenever he got into the picture.
“Aren’t you supposed to be having lunch with your family?” I asked as he squeezed himself on the couch, holding my hand as I curled up in his embracing arms.
He huffed. “Why do I get the sense that you are hiding?”
I was. “I’m tired from the shoot. I just want to sit back and relax for the rest of the day.”
“The pics look wonderful. You’ll see them when we get the album, you missed your calling as a model.” Levi shone.
“Ungazodlala ngami wena,” I giggled.
“Whatever that means.”
“You need to learn Zulu.”
“I’m way ahead of you yindlovu khazi yami [an attempt at my queen]”
I melted and failed to think of a good enough cheesy response, partly because I was hungry again.
“Look what I got.” He held out a white paper bag.
I fished the most adorable baby grow written ‘I love mommy’ and a couple of cute little outfits for our little human.
I grinned, “This is so cute babe.”
He rubbed my tummy. “Stick with daddy and you will be dressed in style,” he told her. That was true, Levi had an eye for fashion and it came effortlessly to him. “I actually came to get you. We are going to some restaurant Zain has been ranting and raving about for a late lunch.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Is Joel coming?”
“I think so. He’s been nice though?” it came out as more of a question.
“He has.” I couldn’t deny it. “But he still makes my skin crawl.” My admission earned me a kiss on my spine.
“I’m also struggling to come to terms with what I know about…you know, but they are my family.”
“I know. That’s why I am trying.”
I could feel his smile. “I appreciate you trying and coming with us on one of our annual family vacations. I thought Futhi would be disappointed when I cancelled the trip to Jerusalem but she is having the time of her life.”
I sighed, “She’s overjoyed. This her first trip out of the country so she is letting it all sink in.”
“Besides the trip to that church in Nigeria,” Levi clarified.
“Yeah. Thank you for bringing her along. Futhi actually needed this after travelling up and down to testify against Solomon. I’m glad that chapter is closed and that predator is locked up but it’s a pity that a ten year old is stuck raising his kid.”
“I’m just glad he no longer has a penis.” Levi tittered. “Come, it’s time for lunch. You are not allowed to order prawns.”
“But Hailey-Hope wants prawns again.”
“Tell her that daddy said no. If she doesn’t listen, you must tell her that she is grounded.”
“Grounded? We are not white people.” The words came out before I thought of what I was saying. I turned to face him and explained, “I mean, black parents usually hit their kids. They don’t send them to naughty corners.”
Every few seconds the wind would blow and a strand of hair fell on my face. He gently tucked it behind my ears. “I don’t believe in corporal punishment so I would prefer it if we don’t hit the kids.”
Me: But the bible says, ‘spare the rod spoil the child.’
“I don’t subscribe to biblical principles. I want to cut this conversation right here, before we start arguing.”
“No buts. We will find mutual ground when the time comes,” he said, kissing my cheek. “For now, we just have to agree on what we are feeding her for lunch and the looks the evening photo shoot with the family. The stylist picked out some beautiful pieces.” He kissed the back of my hand. “I love you.”
“We love you too.”
It was evidently clear that Levi and I came from polar opposite worlds, each with their own problems and challenges. When we were together though, none of that stuff mattered. All that mattered was me and him.
Our love wasn’t perfect. It did not come easy. We had so many challenges and obstacles to overcome and we had to fight to stay together when trials threatened to rip us apart. Fight not to let people convince us that we were not seeing right. We just held on and didn’t let go even when holding on did not make sense. What I loved the most about Levi was the fact that I could be exactly who I was, I said exactly what I felt and did whatever was on my mind.
The holiday was a pause button I desperately needed in my life. So many things had happened, so many fights and disagreements. It was a time to just bask in love and complete acceptance. Where nothing else mattered.

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