Unscripted love Chapter 93 - A - Mzansi Stories

Wednesday, September 7


Unscripted love Chapter 93 - A


#93 A
The Last Seven Days
Day One
I rolled over and peered above my husband’s shoulder at the alarm clock which blinked 9:00am. It wasn’t supposed to go off for another hour, but a kicking baby and a growling stomach woke me up. I was 36 weeks pregnant and I was just about done with being pregnant. I was also done with my whale like tummy that made is difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. I tried to roll back over and get a few more minutes of sleep. My husband that stayed up late the previous night, working on an assignment, groaned sleepily and placed an arm around me.
I rested my arm on his stomach, and my hand lightly grazed his erection. I’d always wanted to give him a surprise BJ in the morning, but I was afraid of being rejected that morning because he went to bed tired and grumpy.

I was too restless and awake to go back to sleep, and I had to pee again. I squirmed out of my husband’s hold and climbed off the bed. He rolled over and continued sleeping. I headed to the kitchen and ate Greek yogurt and cereal as I browsed Facebook, the Gram and Twitter, waiting for him to wake up.
He finally came down to join me an hour later. He wolfed down his breakfast and poured a cup of coffee I’d brewed for him. I got a thank-you kiss on the forehead in return for making his breakfast, then he shuffled back up the stairs with his mug and headed for the shower.
I was still trying to adjust to all the new changes. Our new house, being a housewife, my husband’s new schedule, and mentally preparing to give testimony in the drug trial. Though I was promised anonymity, Levi was concerned about my safety and I was too. There was so much media interest surrounding the high profile case which was every investigative journalist’s dream come true. Maybe one of them was working tirelessly to uncover the identity of this star witness for his or her big break. I was hoping nothing would lead them to me as I didn’t want to have a target on my back.
Levi kissed me goodbye and headed out to school. I figured I’d do a load of laundry, though I didn’t know why, since I walked around naked most of the time. The blistering heat was simply too much and I felt as though I had an internal furnace boiling up my blood. It often left me irritable and short tempered. Bless my husband for putting up with my mood swings and temper tantrums.
When our clothes were neatly folded in the closet and every speck of dust had been dusted I casually flipped through pregnancy magazines in front of the television. I didn’t retain much and kept dozing off. I woke up in time to get ready for dinner at his mother’s house. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Joel and Emily again knowing I was working with a team that was threading together an airtight case to prosecute people that used to work for them.
Dinner was delicious. But then again anything edible was delicious at that time. Emily did most of the talking while Joel ate silently. Most of Emily’s conversation was centred on the differences between Britain and Australia. Levi’s mother was very pro Britain and saw herself retiring there. Joel was suspiciously quiet on the subject simply saying that he had equal amounts of regard for each country and knew both well.
I’d just about dozed off on the chair from the yawn worthy conversation when Emily suggested that we all watch a movie together in the cinema room. Levi and Zain readily agreed and I couldn’t say no to snuggling up for a movie when I was bribed with a tub of sour worms.
I felt my husband’s breath on the back of my neck as his arm wrapped around my side and rested on my round belly. I guess I fell asleep while watching and he carried me to bed. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and mumbled something sleepily before returning to my slumber.
Day Two
I was so sick of waking up a million times to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I even toyed with the idea of wearing adult diapers but my husband threatened to kick me out of bed if I did that. He was awake, checking the news on his iPad, when I padded back in the room at seven in the morning.
“Good morning sunshine.” Levi beamed, clearly in a jolly mood. “You were sleeping peacefully last night so I figured we’d go home in the morning.” He lied. He had to have known that we were going to sleep over if he packed a bag.
“Someone is in a good mood.” I said, making the decision not to bite his head off for making the decision to spend the night unliterary.
“My mom and I had a candid conversation that left me feeling inspired and motivated. I have a lot to think about but I think I am starting to figure out what I want to do with my life now that it seems like soccer is out of the question.” He told me.
“So you aren’t going back after your suspension?”
I was hoping for a resounding ‘no’. I wouldn’t mind having a regular husband who wasn’t flying around everywhere and offered pussy at every turn due to his celebrity status.
“I don’t know if the footballer lifestyle is conducive for the type of father I want to be. I want something that will allow me to come home to you and the baby every day at a descent hour.” He smiled.
“I think I know why people say that you change almost instantaneously when you have a kid. Now that I am so close to holding our little girl in my hands I want to make a concerted effort at improving my relationship with my mom and I want to figure out what the hell I am doing with my life. I might just trade my soccer boots for a suit, work my way up to some big shot CEO position somewhere.”
“I love the sound of that.” I really did.
He nestled me on his chest and kissed my forehead. A little cuddling and kissing in-between a light-hearted conversation got him worked up and he started making the growling noises he made when he was in the mood. I hated turning him down, but between feeling like a whale and needing to pee again, I didn’t feel sexy. I lightly pushed him off and told him “later.” He knew by then that later actually meant not today.
Being in that house resurfaced memories that I had tried to forget. I thought I’d buried the ones that left scars but they were always there, ready to float to the surface. I always slept with the lights on, but last night was a very lights on kind of night. When I realised that we weren’t sleeping on our own bed, I wanted no shadows in the room that was a stone throw away from where Joel was sleeping.
I got out of bed and moved into the bathroom groaning at the idea of not bathing in the comfort of my own home where I felt safe. I was deathly pale and the dark circles under my eyes were not going to be covered by makeup. I stripped and stepped into the shower, let the hot water wash over my aching muscles that had been caused by a night of tension.
My brain told me to relax, that there was a lock on the door and no one in this house that wanted to cause me harm, but the fear I felt was ingrained in me.
When I entered the dining room a short while later the object of my thoughts was the only one there. Joel looked up to me frowning as he studied me. I ignored him and walked over to the sideboard, poured myself a cup of coffee.
“I noticed you and Levi were up late last night.” He said setting down his fork. “The light from your room was still on when I passed by on my way to bed.”
“We must have fallen asleep with the lights on.” I picked up one of the newspapers on the table and read the headlines as I sat down.
“You still sleep with the lights on?” Zain asked, joining us. He must have heard Joel’s comment as he entered.
“Something like that.” I turned my attention back to the paper.
Zain walked up to me and put his finger under my chin lifting my face. “You look awful Thando. Did you get any sleep? Aren’t you going to eat something?”
“No, not this morning.” I said. He dropped my chin then moved to make himself a plate.
“You know. I’ve been meaning to talk to you but I didn’t know how to ask or if I should ask.” Zain started.
“If you have to give a disclaimer then you shouldn’t ask.” Joel chimed in.
I was hiding under the newspaper but I could feel Joel looking at me. I put the paper down to meet his gaze head on. I noted that he was dressed casually in a button down shirt that was open at the collar showing his tan neck. The rest of him was hidden under the long dining table.
Zain chuckled. “It’s nothing hectic. I heard you singing something about Jesus being a lamb or something while you were in the shower and I just wanted to know if you’ve ever thought of recording music. Limiting yourself to singing in the shower just seems like a waste of talent.”
“Don’t even try brother.” Levi answered in my stead as he came to view. “If I’ve failed at trying to convince her to record a thing or two, I doubt you will fare better.” Levi placed a kiss on my stomach and another on my forehead.
“I think iThando could have been a global phenomenon if she wanted that. Looks good, sounds amazing and she has a good head on her shoulders.” Joel gave his view.
Zain and Levi exchanged a look that went way over my head. I suppose we all knew that Joel wasn’t in the business of dishing out compliments, he was much better at criticising. I decided to ignore the two brothers and their stepfather and focused on the paper.
A moment later Emily entered and made a beeline for my stomach to greet her granddaughter before she went on to grab something to eat. I really found it annoying when anyone other than Levi touched my stomach and commented on how big it was. Sometimes I didn’t even want Levi to touch it but he’d retaliate and say that he was allowed to touch it because his baby was in there.
“Did you see how big the bump is now?” Zain had to ask his mother.
“Yes. Hailey-Hope is all grown.” Emily radiated.
All my pregnancy brain and erratic hormones heard was, ‘did you take note of how fat she is now.’
I finished my coffee then stood up, looking at my watch.
“Levi and I have our last prenatal class in an hour so I’m gonna go and browse through my notes from the last class before we head out.” I informed them.
“Don’t worry too much about those classes, you are going to be a good mother.” Joel stated.
Zain and Levi nodded their agreement as they continued to shoot each other subdued glances.
“Um, where is the laptop?” I asked, looking at Levi.
“In the study.”
I headed across the hall to the study to check my notes and check my e-mails. I was in the middle of answering an e-mail when the door opened. Expecting it to be Levi I looked up and stated that I hadn’t received a response for any of my job applications. I was surprised when it turned out to be Joel.
My hair stood up on my neck. My survival instinct had just kicked into hyper drive.
“Oh sorry, didn’t know you needed the study.” I said in a soothing tone as I saw the intense look in his eyes.
“I wanted to have a word with you.” He moved towards me as I rose from my seat.
I felt like prey with a predator closing in. I was tempted to run but I kept my cool, straightened my spine and pushed my shoulders back. Cowering had never done any good. “I’m listening.”
“I don’t know what you plan on saying when you take the stand but I would strongly recommend that you have a serious case of amnesia brought upon by trauma.”
“Levi is the only one I have told about your involvement and I have no intention of mentioning your name. I swear I haven’t said a thing about you and Emily.” My attempt to soothe Joel only seemed to anger him.
“You are not hearing what I am saying! I don’t want you to say a thing about me, Emily or any of my business affiliates that were arrested that day. Get on that stand and state that you do not remember anything because you have suffered so much trauma your brain blocked out that period of time. You don’t want to know what will happen to Hailey-Hope if you don’t.” He hissed moving closer into my space.
“I’m sorry but I can’t do that. I have a deal wi-”
Joel gave what sounded like a muted scream in the back of his throat and pushed me hard. I flew backwards, hit my back and head on the bookshelf behind me which caused a large ceramic figurine to fall and hit me in the middle of my back then crash on the floor.
I let out a muted cry, tears of pain prickled my eyes.
Joel squatted in front of me and yanked my cheeks to forcefully make me look at him. “All you had to do was tell them where the drop was. You did that and I lost millions in the process. It is not your job to make sure that the state proves their case beyond a reasonable doubt.
Since I am a nice guy and we are family I will get you one of the best defence attorneys in the country that will ensure that they stick to the agreement they have with you. I will also get a suitably qualified doctor to say that it’s perfectly normal for victims like yourself to suffer memory loss. Tell anyone about this and we will see if Hailey will live to tell the tale.” He scorned.
The door flew open and Levi and Zain came surging in to see what had happened. Joel grabbed hold of my arm to act as though he was helping me up. I looked from Joel to the two men, my face bright red.
“What happened?” Levi demanded looking from me to Joel then at the damaged figure on the floor.
“I’m afraid I tripped on the rug and hit the shelf.” I said and looked at the broken figure scattered at my feet. “I’m so sorry, was it expensive? I will replace it.” I bit my lip to stem the tears from the pain. My head was bleeding. I could feel blood trickling down my skull and my back was pounding.
Joel just waved his hand as if to say he could care less about the figure, but it was the reason the figure had fallen that was more of a concern.
“You’re bleeding.” Zain said, moving to take my arm and direct me towards a chair.
I sat down gratefully. Zain tried to get me to lean back but I jolted up right when my aching back met the chair.
“Levi, why don’t you go and get her something to eat?” Zain said, commanding the situation. “Joel, would you please go and get the first aid box.”
The two left and I reached up to try and stop the blood that was now moving down my cheek.
“Lean forward.” Zain instructed me. I was still dazed as I followed his instruction without question. I gave a little gasp when my shirt lifted, exposing my back and I arched away from the touch that was like a brand.
“What hit you?” Zain asked, ignoring my reaction to his touch. Maybe he thought I was wincing because of the pain but I did not want anyone with a penis to put his hands on my body. I was still struggling with simple handshakes and Zain was basically yanking off my shirt without my consent.
“T-the figure did.” I looked over my shoulder at him as he examined my back.
He had a bland look on his face. If I didn’t know better I would guess that he was very angry.
“I am sorry about the figure.” I tried to apologise again.
“Nobody gives a damn about the figure. I care about what happened. You’re not a clumsy person Thando and I’m not buying the ‘you tripped’ excuse for one minute. For one you would have fallen backward and for another Joel looked very guilty.”
I opened my mouth to deny it but he cut me off.
> “I see the fear in your eyes when you look at Joel. I note how you are always trying to run or hide from him and I will figure out why.” He lowered my shirt and reached up, pulled my collar to the side so that he could see my shoulder, first one then the other. He was a doctor but I really wished he would ask before pulling on my clothes.
I had two dark red spots where Joel’s hands had shoved me and I shivered at the look of coldness that entered Zain’s eyes as he looked at them. Levi entered with the plate of food and the first aid box as Zain was pulling my shirt back into place. Levi sat on the edge of the desk with a thoughtful expression while he watched as Zain examined the cut on my scalp. Having decided that it was not too deep he put some antiseptic on it, making me wince at its sting.
As I watched Zain put everything away in the first aid box, Emily came bolting in the room.
“What happened? Is the baby okay?” She asked, frantic.
I rose from my seat. “I tripped. Levi we are going to be late.”
“Eat something before you leave.” Emily looked at me, challenging me, making me feel like I was starving my baby.
Levi shook his head and grabbed a bowl of muesli and yoghurt. “She’ll eat on the way to class.”
“Something fishy is going on and I am going to get to the bottom of it.” Zain groaned.
I gave a shaky sigh and walked out of that house, intent on never coming back. Knowing that Levi would erupt like a volcano and spew lava on Joel I chose not to tell him what really happened.
Day Three
I was still wide awake when the sun rose the next morning. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep when Levi stirred. He got ready and headed out for his classes and a business meeting.
I battled the wave of depression that tried to pull me under every day. That day I didn’t struggle against it and I allowed myself to be pulled under. I gave in. I let the waves hit me and I didn’t even dig my feet in. I let it all wash over me and pull me apart in all the ways I feared losing control would do. I didn’t try to prepare or give myself a chance to breathe, I just let myself shatter on the ground because there I was in the belly of pain again.
I tried to get my mind off things by scrolling on my phone but the universe didn’t let up. Sandiso’s cousin shared a photo of him on her Facebook page and mentioned how much she missed him. She also mentioned that it was unfair how people were quick to forget that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, a court of law hadn’t found him guilty of any crimes and everything I’d said was nothing more than an allegation.
Seeing a photo of Sandiso and a tag line that brought my integrity into question was all it took for the tears to burst my dam of restraint. I clutched my phone tight in my hand, able to see a ghostly reflection of my face in the thin sheen of glass that covered it.
I looked past my own reflection and stared upon Sandiso’s face that had been caught in a moment of perfection. He didn’t look like a monster. It was the happiest memories that hurt the worst, they were the ones that cut me deepest and made me feel like his blood was on my hands. My freedom was traded for his life and now it all seemed futile because I couldnt tell the truth. I wouldnt do anything put my daughter's life at risk.
I focused in on his eyes, they were glistening with the twinkle of laughter that I once loved. Now, they laughed at me. They reminded me of what I had lost because of them. The things I did to see them sparkle and make him happy. Things that were still haunting me. It was in that moment that I realised I no longer knew how I felt. I was numb, yet somehow in agony. I longed to be free of him. The old ghost threatening to tear away at my sanity.
Every other time, I was always in a hurry to put myself back together. Perhaps out of pride, because I didn’t want people to see the hurt. Perhaps out of shame, because I didn’t want the people I loved to see me like this. Perhaps out of desperation, because it hurt and all I wanted to feel was anything but hurt.
That day I decided to be different. I fell apart and I let myself stay broken. I wasn’t in a hurry to start fixing. I sat back and examined the wreckage. Held up the individual pieces of me and got to know them better than I did before attempting to put them all together again.

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