Mzansi Stories : Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo
Showing posts with label Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo. Show all posts

Monday, May 23


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 183 (Part B)

Dygo 183 cont.
Did Princess just call me and without greeting me ask me what am I up to? Oh between Kevin and that trashy skank, one must have told your highness about our meeting. But who? Part of me wanted to just hung up on her to avoid letting her poke me to my last nerve and end up saying things I should not say over the phone. But the other part was just curious. I thought let me hear her out and try to be as calm and cool as I can, just to avoid loosing it. Hell yeah, I cannot take away the thrill of seeing her face when she learns the truth about her dearly beloved husband.
Nna: Maybe if you could explain, I would be able to answer your question, but right now, I don’t know what exactly are you asking me.
Reatli: Sheryl send me an SMS and told me that She was leaving South Africa tonight! For good.
Nna: Ooh! So? Where do I fit in? Was I supposed to buy her a send off gift or something?
Reatli: Don’t patronize me Obonolo! Earlier today when you called her, I was with her and she told me that you asked to see her. So there must be something you did or said to upset her. Why would she just up and leave after your meeting?
Nna: How I wish I knew why hle nnaake! Empa, I don’t know and frankly I don’t care! But then come to think of it, could it perhaps be because you tried to force her and her twins to Kevin, and like the rest of us, Kevin didn’t recognize her? Or better yet, how about you call her and ask her the real reason why she chose to neglect her beloved baby daddy when he need her and their twins the most! If you'll excuse me I need to sleep!
Reatli: Hai Obonolo, chelete ya Abuti waka ya go hlantsha! You think you can buy your way out or buy people out of your way? You are not solving the problem dear. Nor matter how far Sheryl and the twins goes, it won’t change the facts....
Nna: Ooh really now Reatli? What Facts are those?
Reatli: You know for the fact why you don’t want Sheryl around. She’s a threat to you and your marriage. You are just in denial to admit. Anyway, no matter what you are trying to do, those kids are Kevin’s and nothing will change that!
Nna: Ohk! Fine. Believe what you want. I know for a FACT that those brats are not my husband’s! Oh Rea ausi, have you ever asked yourself one question nje. If those kids are not my brother’s , or Kevin’s , who else among the man that hang around that trashy skank could be running to be those kids’ daddy? Who knows? When it comes to girls like Sheryl and Dintle who can’t seem to hold their panties up and men like Nyiko and Kevin who clearly don’t know which whore-holes to avoid ....anything is possible. Now! Please stop disturbing me. I need to sleep!
Gaah! I hung up on her before I could say more than I should! I switched off the lights...
I went to sleep with so much joy in my heart... And I whispered: Dearest Karma! Here is the list of addresses of people you almost forgot..
I woke up the next day so refreshed and positive. I bathe the kids and we went out. I wanted to spend time with them. Since I couldn’t celebrate their 2nd birthday, I planned to spoil them that weekend. We had fun, just the three of us. I told Kevin that I would visit him in the afternoon. The day went by perfectly fine.
Around two, my brother’s friend phoned me and told me to meet with him in an hour. A chill went down my spine. I knew he wanted to hand me the results. I must say I was scared. What if Sheryl was just acting up and trying to make a fool out of me? Why did she hand me everything over on a silver platter without hassle? And what’s the deal with her running away as if her life was in danger? I gave her my word that I won’t have to get her arrested if she gave me what I wanted, and since she did, I had no reason to.
A lot of questions went through my mind. I had forgotten that Nyiko was dangerous. What if Sheryl phoned him and told him everything? What if he knows that I was in possession of her confession and proof of his long buried dirty secret and also threatened to take the evidence of their crimes to the police? What if the reason she packed and left was because Nyiko told her to go or else she would die?
I got even more scared. What if I was in danger as well? What if Nyiko decide to eliminate the threats by sending people to my home to hurt or kill me, like he did with Dintle? Could Nyiko hurt me? How much risk was he prepared to take to hide the secret from getting out? Enough to kill? Iyoooo. I felt sick to my stomach. The thought of what Nyiko was capable of, freaked the hell out of me. I knew I had to act fast and smart before he gets ideas. I decided that I won’t wait any longer to confront Reatli.Well if he was on to me.
Immediately I called my sister Tsitsi to meet me somewhere in an odd place. I also phoned my brother’s friend to organize me two copies of the results. I needed to give Aus Tsitsi another copy of the results and all the copies of the evidence I made prior to meeting with Sheryl. At least if one person that I trust knows what I was up to, if I mysteriously disappeared or die, then the person can know what happened to me and why?
The kids and I drove back home. I asked Mamo to pack for the kids as I was taking them to mamholo Tsitsi for the night. I then placed the original USB flash, Sheryl's recorded confession and the DVD in the safe and took two copies of each. One set was for Ausi Tsitsi for safe keeping and the other set was for the mighty lions ( Tau clan ).
I then packed Kevin’s clothes and stuff I thought he could do with. His old diaries, letters we wrote to each other and his laptop. I thought about what he asked me the previous day. He said he wanted to know about his life before the accident, basically he wanted the bad side we all (except Reatli) had been keeping away from him. I decided to be honest about who is Sheryl, the twins and the accident, except the recent developments, the paternity results, the revelation and planned confrontation. Besides, he wouldn’t get it, he doesn’t remember. It will be up to his family to tell him the rest.
I drove passed Grayson drive. My brother’s friend was waiting for me at MacDonalds. He handed me two envelopes and we went separate ways. I headed to Norwood mall, my sister suggested we meet there. When I got there, I gave her the copies and told her to hold on to them until I come back from hospital. I didn’t want to know the results until I was back from visiting Kevin. Since I was planning to tell him about Sheryl and other stuff, I didn’t want to end up revealing the truth to him today hence I gave Ausi Tsitsi everything. I got to the hospital and gave Kevin his laptop bag.
We chatted for an hour about everything he needed to know. From our wedding day till the night he drove to OR Tambo to go to Bloemfontein to fetch Sheryl and the kids . At some point we were both crying as I continued telling him how much he had hurt me and our marriage. Obviously with no memory of those times, he said he felt bad and sorry for the pain he caused. He even jokingly said that after what I just told him, he wishes not to regain his memory so that he doesn't have to remember that awful time in his life.
He extended his hand and pulled me closer to him. He held me in his arms as I broke down and cried. He kept commending me for my strength and courage to stick to him even after everything he did to me before the accident. Over and over he asked me for forgiveness and I told him that I had forgiven him long time ago, and that only God knows what will happen next.
Just as I stood up to leave, Kevin stopped me. He asked me to sit down for a moment because he wanted to ask me something important. I turned and sat down next to him.
Kev: Bobo, I’ve been talking to my doctors. They are happy about my progress. MRI and CT scan proved that I am good, well except the memory loss and the mobility part. Although I am able to walk a little bit, I would be using wheelchair till I am fully mobile. They said I could have physiotherapy at home and continue other treatments as an outpatient. They are thinking of discharging me sometimes next week. They recommend that I should be home in familiar surroundings perhaps I might start regaining my memories ( obviously the good ones) and get a physiotherapist to assist me. So earlier on my parents suggested that I go stay with them and once I recover, I could go back home to you. I told them that I will think about it.
So I was thinking of coming back home to you and the kids and my familiar surroundings. So what do you say? After everything you just told me, do you think you could have me back home with you and the kids? Like good old days? Help me recreate the new memories with you and our twins? To be honest, I wish I don’t ever remember the past especially the bad part of it.
Yooh! Talk about unexpected! I never thought about that moment. I was so caught up in getting Kevin back to good health and forgot about the time he will have to be discharged. I just stood there frozen in place. I could not tell him that I have not thought about it, because that might hurt him. And also I could not jump and say yes while I was not even sure that I was ready to have him back home.
There was a lot to consider, adjustment to make to accommodate him, given that he was still using a wheelchair , hiring or getting him to physio, my work etc. I then told him that we have a double storey house with all bedrooms upstairs so I need a little time to go figure out how to make adjustments to accommodate him.
He said he understands and agreed to give me time to see what could work and how we going to do this. He kept saying he was grateful for the strong woman I was and how he was looking forward to go through this journey with me. We said our goodbyes and I left.
As I drove to my sister’s place, between constantly being suspicious of any car following me and changing routes out of fear of being followed, all I could think about was Kevin's request. How it came so easy for him to want to come back home to us and live normal life! How he casually and easily too the situation so lightly . How he can tell me that we should stay together as a family, “like good old days”! How he can just tell me how he wishes he could never remember the bad things and hell he put me through, while there’s not a single moment that passes by without me thinking of everything bad I endured in our marriage, every little bit of all that he put me through! How do I forget that?
I must say in all honesty, I was not ready for such responsibility. I know I vowed to be there for him during this difficult time, but the reality of what I have signed up for was now freaking me out. Maybe he should go stay with his parents for a while then perhaps later on he could come back home, but then which home?. There was no longer a home for the both of us. He ripped that home apart. And it will take more than a memory loss to try and fix this.
Yaaah I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I’m only human. Of course I was still mad and hurt by what he put me through. The fact that he was so free from all what he put me through while every time and every day I will be reminded of what he did, broke me to the core. The heart remember what it remembers. And mine was no different! Having Kevin back home to care for and live with every single day until he gets better or regain his memory will be one hell of a ride. One I wasn’t sure I wanted to embark on.
I finally arrived at Greenstone. Safe and unharmed .
I told Aus Tsitsi about my afternoon. She laughed at me and jokingly said I should have distanced myself from day one to avoid all this. But she said I should think carefully about it before I agree or disagree. She then said for as long as Kevin was still my husband, I was responsible for him. He was my responsibility in sickness and in health until divorce do us part.
Yaaah. I felt tested but I knew I would have to make that decision. Hard as it was. Kevin is not a bad person,he just made bad choices that hurt me pretty badly.. and one thing to remember, in the eyes of the Lord, he was still my husband and the father of my kids. So my decision should not be based on my anger and disappointment, but on what was right.
We changed the topic to the packages I had given Aus Tsitsi earlier that afternoon. I told her everything and let her watch and listen to Sheryl’s confession. She was so shocked. I further told her what I did and asked her to open one envelope to tell me in her medical knowledge and expertise what the results were.
Aus Tsitsi opened the envelope and read through the paper. I was waiting in anticipation for her to say what she was reading. She asked me to go get myself iced water and sit down for the results. I was not impressed with her for the suspension. I called Andzani from the bedroom to get me some iced water and sat down flat on the floor.
I looked at Aus Tsitsi and she came to where I was sitting and joined me on the floor. She placed the paper on the floor and asked me what I see. I told her that I see some numbers and lots of zeros. She then confirmed that Kevin Karabello Tau was zero point zero zero not the biological father of the twins.
Beyond reasonable doubt, Kevin was not the father. Now it was time we prove who the real father was. And see who will have the last laugh!
What a joyous day! The moment I have been waiting for. Nothing could replace the joy I felt within. It was not even the joy of Kevin not being the father, it was purely the fact that those kids are Reatli’s step kids and I was just curious to see how she was going to handle this one. They all expected me to accept, and love those brats unconditionally because they were Kevin’s flesh and blood! Now the table had turned, let’s see how daddyt, MamaTau and Princess Reatli get past this one.Will she be expected to love them? Or it's only when they were diTau?
I didn’t even want to waste any more time. I dialled daddyt. I just greeted him and went straight to the reason for my call. I asked for an emergency family meeting . He asked me what was wrong and when do I want the meeting. I told him that I just came back from hospital to see Karabello and there is something I urgently need us to discuss as a family regarding his issue. Obviously not entirely true. I asked if it was possible if we could do it tomorrow after church. I told him that I will confirm venue in the morning. Reason not to disclose venue was to ensure that Nyiko doesn’t get ideas, in case he finds out that I called a family meeting. I was making sure that, if he was planning to silence me, he should be blindsided. Daddyt accepted and said he will wait for my call. We hung up.
I dialled princess Reatlehile. I asked her about her plans for Sunday. Initially she was being sarcastic and all but ended up agreeing. She said Nyiko won’t be available, so she will come alone. I was so overjoyed that the gangster won’t be there, besides, this whole meeting was not about him. It was Tau matter. I told her that I will confirm venue in the morning. Just in case.
Tomorrow is the beginning of my new life. I know that the truth won’t sit well with my in-laws and whatever lies ahead, our lives will never be the same. My life, Kevin’s and Reatli’s ...
Question was: How will she handles the T.R.U.T.H?
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Thursday, May 19


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 183 (Part A)

Dygo 183
Setswana sare: Motshega kgarebe, ke monyadi wa yona. That’s oh so true.
You know when Sheryl answered the one question I prayed about and prayed for on my way to meeting her, it was like the universe was really coming through for me. The way I felt, I could almost jump and kiss Sheryl but then, there was still a long way to go.
Sheryl is known for deception, manipulation and smooth talking. I told myself that I won’t let her play me like she did before. Although I came prepared, I needed concrete proof of her revelation, I needed something that would not require me to prove anything to whoever will be presented with the Truth of the matter. Before I left home, I did my homework and planned ahead of her. I called my brother’s friend, the one that was prepared to do the DNA testing for us, I asked him what would I need to get the results. He told me exactly what I needed and even promised to wait for me till 20:00 to test the requested samples. And that by the next day, I will have my proof, in writing. Signed and Sealed.
So as soon as I had her on record confirming that Kevin was not the father and that the real father is Nyiko, I told her that we needed to substantiate her confession. We needed full proof. I told her that her words meant nothing without proof. At first she was trying to talk me out of my proof finding mission, saying she has done enough for a day. I reminded her what was at stake if she doesn’t corporate. I told her that we are going to her brother's place, take DNA samples from the twins ( no needles or anything hectic) just their saliva and from there, she will call Nyiko, and make sure she get any dna sample from him. I told her what exactly she should get from Nyiko.
I asked her what was Nyiko's role in the entire manipulation story and whether he knew that he was the father. I could not believe my ears. Sheryl told me how Nyiko knew about Dintle’s manipulation and approached her to talk to her sister. She said she tried to talk to her sister to let it go and move on with their lives, but Dintle didn’t want to lose their meal ticket. Sheryl then told Nyiko that all Dintle wanted was money and security, so if Nyiko promise to look after her, she will back down from exposing him. Nyiko and Dintle made a deal which Nyiko later walked out of.
When news about some well known politician that was murdered resurface, Dintle threatened Nyiko that she will implicate him and provide the police with the proof. That’s when Nyiko seek help from Kevin. Apparently Kevin had no idea that Nyiko was mixed up in shady deals and involved in corruption. At first Kevin refused to be part of the dealings and suggested that Nyiko should come clean and tell the truth. Nyiko refused and asked Kevin not to tell anyone about his involvement. Nyiko told Kevin and Dintle that if they go to the police, they will also go down with him and the other involved people. He told them that in a way, they benefited from blood money and proceeds of corruption and crime. He told Kevin that his business was benefitting from irregular awards of tenders, so he will be investigated as well.
Kevin then decided to support and protect Nyiko, but apparently Nyiko was scared that Kevin might change his mind and tell me or Reatli or out of guilty conscience sell him out. That’s when he asked Dintle to have something against Kevin that will force him to keep quiet and never think of selling Nyiko out. And that’s how the sex tape came to being. To have something on Kevin. All in all, Nyiko and Dintle planned the whole manipulation and Kevin was caught in between.
Apparently the night in question , it was supposed to be Sheryl seducing Kevin and Dintle recording it so that Nyiko could have ammunition against Kevin. But Dintle had plans of her own. She wanted more leverage against Nyiko. She wanted to hold the top card in case Nyiko walked out of this end of the bargain. She planned everything to her advantage. She spiked both Nyiko, Kevin and Dintle’s drinks and pushed Sheryl to seduce both. Unfortunately Kevin was knocked off by the strong drug that she used and couldn’t even participate. Turned out that a heavily drugged Nyiko played along and had sex with Sheryl thinking it was Dintle. Apparently in the early hours Sheryl woke up in Nyiko's arms. Shocked and devastated, She realised what had happened. Dintle told her to jump into Kevin’s bed, and pretend that they slept together. She said Dintle played her too, because she was not supposed to be drugged in order to seduce Kevin. And felt disgusted realizing that she slept with the wrong guy.
That’s how the amateur editing came to place. Nyiko and Kevin saw the edited version. Poor Kevin, upon seeing the clip, scared that I will freak or divorce him, he gave in to manipulation. Nyiko was happy he got him where he wanted, to help him cover the truth and silence Dintle. Kevin was prepared to do anything for Dintle as long as she was promising not to expose him for the sex party night. Sheryl went on and on about how her sister mysteriously died and how on her dead bed she asked her to avenge his death by making Nyiko pay. So, Sheryl carried on with the manipulation after her sister's death. Yaaah family of manipulators.
I asked her if Nyiko knew he was the father and shockingly, she confirmed , ( still on record) that when she found out that she was pregnant, she told him and he denied it. She said she told him the truth about the night that she conceived. Nyiko said the pregnancy was Kevin’s. Sheryl told him that she never slept with Kevin that night but him. Nyiko told her to pin it all on Kevin, for her own benefit. Nyiko assured her that, Kevin would look after her and her baby whereas, he already had enough on his plate. So he won’t afford to give her a good future that Kevin could.
Yaah! That was like an insert from some drama I was watching on TV. I could not believe that Nyiko was such a devious person. He was cruel and heartless. But, I was happy that Princess Reatli and Queen mother MamaTau will get to hear all this. I used to warn Kevin about Nyiko, and he always defended him. Look where Nyiko had put him? I could not wait to get my story out especially to Reatli and Kevin. The Tau clan were up for a nasty revelation, thank God I made my exit out of that family. Right now I didn't even care what will happen next. If the Tau will believe me or not. I will let them decide for themselves. As long as I knew the truth.
I must say I was disgusted by the whole story. Mostly because innocent lives were ruined, and some still going to be ruined by Nyiko and his crew. In the entire drama, Sheryl had never painted herself bad. Everything that happened she blamed it on other people. She, Kevin and Nyiko were as much responsible for the mess, equally so. I might have gotten some answers to a lot of questions I had, but it didn’t change anything. My heart was broken and my life destroyed. Kevin broke my heart and nothing, not even the truth about paternity or manipulation will mend it.
Amidst the whole craziness Kevin still believed and protected the trashy tramp over and over, even over me, his wife. As if it wasn’t enough, almost alll his family turned against me as if I was the evil one. To top it and rub salt to a newly wounded scar, even when he lost his memory, the only person he seemed to remembered was Sheryl. Nyiko still pretended that he was a victim, not reprimanding his wife, nor doing the right thing, instead, he carried on hoping no one will find out. As for the skank, I had no words to describe her nor begin to explain what her selfishness, gold-digging, cruelty and evilness had done. She destroyed many people and when the truth comes out, it will still destroy so many people’s lives.
I checked the time, it was almost seven o’clock. Time was not on my side. I wanted to get Nyiko’s sample DNA, but it seemed I won’t make it. So I decided that since I was meeting my brother’s friend in Sandton, I would rush to Milpark, get Kevin’s sample and together with the twins’ ones, we would get proof that we need. If Reatli and her family want their own proof about Nyiko, they will have to arrange for that. My mission was to get proof that Kevin was not the father. Which will be accomplished without Nyiko's samples.
We stood up and drove to Gallo Manor. When we got there Sheryl asked me to wait up in the car while she went to fetch the twins. She said she didn’t want her brother to question her about this. I asked for the house number in case she takes long or disappear, she gave me her sister's car keys and assured me that she will be back. Indeed, few minutes later she came back holding the twins. I didn’t waste time, I put on my latex gloves, took out the two cotton buds and put them inside the twins mouth and carefully threw them into a clear plastic bag. The way I was in a hurry, I didn’t even had time to smile or play with the kids. I asked her for how long will she be in Jo’burg, and she said she was going back to Hammanskraal on Sunday. I said my goodbyes and drove off.
I had less than 35 minutes to get to Milpark and then to Sandton. I phoned my brother's friend and he told me that I should not rush, I could still bring the samples to him after eight because he will only work on them very late in the night. So I relaxed and headed to Milpark. When I got there, I passed by the canteen and bought juice, chewing gums and some chips. I went to Kevin's ward, and found him watching TV. We chatted a bit about my late visit. I lied and said I was fetching his dirty clothes to take home to be washed.
While chatting, I gave him a gum and let him chew while I was packing his laundry. As soon as I was done, I opened a packet of chips and offered him. Thank God, he took out the gum and asked me for a tissue to wrap and throw away the gum. Yes My plan exactly!!. I took out another clear packet and let him spit the gum out of his mouth into the packet. Mission accomplished. I told him that I was rushing home and told him that I will come visit the next day.
As I grab my handbag and his laundry he called me Bobo! I turned around and asked him to repeat what he said. He looked at me puzzled and asked me why. I told him that only two people called me Bobo. And that was my late father and my husband Kevin...He said he thought Bobo was an obvious short for Obonolo I told him that everyone called me Noli, never Bobo. He smiled and said he prefers Bobo because Noli sounded Zulu. Exact explanation Kevin gave me the first day we met. Inside I was happy that nor matter how he looks at it, his memory was slowly coming back.
I jokingly asked him how his day with his visitors went, referring to Sheryl and the twins. He said Reatlehile brought some woman and her twins claiming the kids are his and that He was with that lady when the accident happened. I asked him if he remembered them, he said No. He said that the lady seemed dodgy and that unlike Kani and Kaho, he didn’t feel any connection with the twins.
Trust Reatli to do as she pleases. Where does she get off telling Kevin about the accident? No one had told Kevin that part of his life yet. MamaTau asked me and everyone not to mention all that happened prior to the accident and focus on getting him better instead. We all promised. We all did agree not to mention anything bad, especially Sheryl,the accident and the divorce. Yet princess Reatlehile deemed it fit to mention who Sheryl was. I guess she thought Kevin might remember them! Pity, they were just strangers like the rest of us, worse Kevin thought she was dodgy.
Kevin asked me if I was in such a hurry? He said he would love to chat to me , in fact he said he wanted me to tell him what happened before the accident. He insisted that I should tell him the truth. He said he got confused by two sets of twins brought to hospital to see him and both were presented as his own. He said he also, wanted to know about that woman, why did Reatli believe that the twins are his?. He said somethings doesn’t add up and why haven't anyone mentioned the accident?Yoh!
I told him that unfortunately I have to rush but promised to come back the next day! I left the hospital with mixed emotions. Part of me was happy that Kevin didn’t recognize Sheryl and her brats. Another part was sad that it seemed we still had a long way before he regain his memory. I wasn’t sure that I could wait any longer, given what I knew and what was about to be revealed.
I got to Sandton, dropped off the samples and went home. The events of that day was too overwhelming. I planned not to say anything to anyone until I had full proof. But one thing and one moment I could not wait for was the look on Reatli's face when he learned that she was married to nothing but a heartless and cruel bastard.
I tucked the kids in and headed for my bedroom. I took a shower and prepared for bed. I read my Bible and prayed. Just as I was about to switch off the lights and sleep, my phone rang. I picked it up and checked caller id, it was my perfect, Mrs goodie two shoes Reatlehile Vivica Tau Baloye.....
Nna: Good evening or should I say fabulous night ReatlehileBaloye?
Reatli: What are you up to now?And what do you think you're doing?
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Monday, May 16


Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 182

Dygo 182
Phew! Pretence and denial never gets anyone anywhere. I could say I refused to leave after being chased out of the room but I couldn’t. I stood up, confused as hell and walked out of his ward. My husband, doesn’t remember me! I won’t lie when I say it didn’t hurt like hell. Not only did my husband lose his memory but he had a totally different mind of his own, where I don’t reside in. He had some different picture of his wife. To him, I was just a stranger pretending to be his wife. Who wouldn’t be hurt by that?
I went to the doctor Salita’s office and told her what happened. She explained what that meant and asked me to be patient with him. I asked the doctor if there was something we as the family could do to try and trigger his memories back. She said we should try to talk about things he loved, bring his friends and family more often etc. etc. She however warned me that he might recover soon or take longer to recover or better yet, he might never regain his memory forever.
Yooo! Some scary stuff.
Weeks gone by, news about Kevin’s memory loss was now known. Everyone close to him was affected by this. He could not remember anything. Let alone about the accident itself. We were all trying everything we can to trigger his memory by reminding him of things we thought he would remember. But it was too hard. I never let the fact that my own husband didn’t recognize me dampen my spirit. I had to dig deep and understand his condition. I wasn’t about to give up on him now. Even at times when I was tempted to give up. My God was my strength.
One weekend all Tau clan came to visit Kevin. They found me there. We all chatted with Kevin and tried the memory trigger exercises that his doctors recommended. MamaTau had a family album. She kept asking Kev to tell him who was in each photo etc etc. He was trying , making just little progress. He didn’t recognize anyone except his close family. He knew them by names, though he had no strong memories of them.
A week after we found out that Kevin had amnesia, Ausi Nthabeleng suggested that I should bring the twins hoping they could be what Kevin needed to trigger his memory. He always asked about the twins. Two days later, I arranged with the hospital to bring Kaho and Kani. Unfortunately that didn’t work. Kevin didn’t recognize his own kids. It broke my heart even more because the kids were just so excited to see their father. They wanted to just play games they were used to play with him. Him being on a wheelchair made it even worse for him to let the kids jump ontop of him. Everyone was just worried about Kev. I was devastated. The kids were just confused, I could see it in their faces.
So, that weekend after visiting times were over, as the whole crew headed to the parking , Reatli told everyone that it was clear that Kevin wanted to see his other twins and their mom not me and my twins. She said Sheryl had been asking to see Kevin and suggested that I must allow her and the twins to come. She said right now, bringing Sheryl and the twins was our only last hope. She said that perhaps they were the only people who could help Kevin? Everyone looked at me. I refused and said No freaking ways . I then said my goodbyes and headed to where I parked my car.
Aus Nthabeleng came running after me. She only caught up with me as I get in the car. She said her mama and Reatli asked her to talk me into agreeing that Sheryl and the twins be allowed to visit Kevin. They believed that Sheryl’s twins could be the answer to trigger Kevin’s memory loss. I didn’t even hesitate, I told Aus Nthabeleng that I won’t allow manyala nje. I then asked Aus Nthabeleng how Reatli knew about Sheryl’s request. That’s when I found that Reatli had been in constant contact with Sheryl’s mother and sister Fifi ever since the accident. Apparently she even knew that Sheryl was discharged from hospital and fully recovering at home in Hammanskraal. She further told me that Reatli told her that She and Nyiko had been to see her and the kids. And that’s when Sheryl asked her to ask for my permission.
Turned out that Reatli had become bff with my enemy.
Aus Nthabeleng told me that she understand my reluctance and supports my decision and even told me that she feels sorry me for to have to deal with everything else plus her mom and Reatli's selfishness and bad attitude . I told her that the family can ask me anything with regard to assisting Kevin and I will agree but I’ll never allow that tramp anywhere near Kevin. Until Kevin is in a position to sign the divorce papers and officially end our marriage, I still call the shots. MamaTau, Reatli, Sheryl and the twins can just wait and pray that Kevin recover soon so that I can hand over all the legal and marital rights I have over Kevin, to them. Right now, whether he doesn’t remembers me and our kids, I do not care! I have all the rights. I am still his wife. Aus Nthabeleng supported my decision and told me that she really think I was doing what was best, given the circumstances.
Married life can be a worst nightmare to some woman. I never thought I would experience so much cruelty from my in-laws. I have known my mother in law was bound to be a monster in-law, not my sisters, not especially Reatlehile. She was one person I trusted more than my other sisters and friends, yet she ended up being the one person who would stab me at the back and twist the knife round and round until all my blood was sucked out. For what? She was supporting the crap that her brother and that tramp had put me through. To her, I was the enemy. Anyway, I know that “ Blood is thicker than water “ nor matter what. Trust me that much I learned when I joined the marriageville. Everyone protects their own, whether they are wrong or right, good or bad. Such is Life.
It was already end of April, Kevin was still in hospital. He still had no memory of us, of our kids or our marriage. I had showed him our wedding pictures and videos, our kids birth and all our pictures together. Still nothing worked. I was sometimes being discouraged and losing hope, but I prayed a lot for some miracle.
Work was getting hectic, Milano had been on leave the previous two weeks so my boss refused to give me more time away. I was keeping too busy at work. I only went to see Kevin every other day and sometimes after work. On days that I had hectic schedule, I would be too tired and just call him and go straight home to rest. One week I didn’t go to hospital for three days because I had a workshop to attend. I smsed Kevin notifying him that I would only see him on Thursday after work. Kevin was understanding.
On Thursday afternoon just before knock off time Milano and I were called into the Boss’ office. We were there till 17:30. After that meeting, I thought it was too late to go to Millpark. I called Kevin and told him that I was rushing home to the kids, so I will see him Friday afternoon. He told me that Reatli and Nyiko were on their way to see him so it was okay. I drove home to my kids. We did our normal routine.
Just after nine thirty as I prepare for bed, an SMS came through to my phone. Holly crap! It was from Reatli. She send me a very cocky message. She said I was neglecting his brother when he needed me the most and being selfish. She went on and on and said I was denying Sheryl and her kids to see Kevin, yet I was too busy for him.
I was so pissed off and dialed her number. I asked if she was talking about the same brother who cheated me and ended up in hospital with the same bitch? The same man who had timeously chose that tramp and her brats over us? I told her to stay out of my marriage, my life and let me handle all this my way. I wasn’t going to neglect my work, my kids and myself just to be an unrecognizable trophy in front of that man lying in hospital. I was trying all that I can do to help Kev but nothing I did seemed to be good enough for her. I repeated over and over that I will not let Sheryl go visit Kevin. I then hung up before she could answer.
Bloody selfish siszilla. Who does she think she was? This woman was really testing my patience and I was tired of her bitchiness. I needed to hit back. This family was now working on my nerve. I don’t know what more did they expect from me really. Pity I was not that kind of a woman to neglect the man I had loved all my adult life, the father of my kids to prove a point. If I was, I would have been long gone and wanted nothing to do with their brother. But after all I was my mother's daughter and mostly I was a child of the most high God. I don’t believe in repaying evil with evil. Vengeance is not ours, it's God's.
Despite the odds against me, I made a promise to continue supporting Kevin. Even though every time I went there, I would hope and pray that he will remember me but all I was in Kevin’s eyes was a stranger. Noone had any idea how that made me feel. So if I don’t go there to spare myself that pain, it was my decision and I don’t owe anybody or even Kevin any explanation. Unfortunately I can only do so much. And one thing for sure, Sheryl and her brats will not set their foot in that hospital.
Friday came! I had only two important clients meeting. I thought after my meetings I will knock off and go to spent time with Kevin. My first meeting was at 10:00 in Parktown and the last one was at 13h00 in Melrose. While on my way to my ten O’clock, my one o’clock called and ask that we should reschedule for Monday. I agreed and proceeded to my appointment. My meeting took long. By 12h35 I was leaving the client's offices, thank God I didn’t have another meeting.
On my way back from Parktown client's meeting, I decided to pass by to see Kev before I went back to the office. As I got to hospital, Kevin was not in his Ward. I got scared thinking maybe he had a relapse or something worse. I quickly rushed out to the ward help desk. When I got there I asked the sister waiting there where Mr Tau has been moved to? The lady nurse ( never met her before) said Mr Tau had some visitors. She told me that Mr Tau's wife and his twins came to visit, so they are somewhere in the garden. I held myself from screaming, all I did ask was how do I get to the garden, knowing very well where the entrance to the garden was. I could not believe my eyes! Sheryl Gosiame playing house with my husband and their twins, while Reatli was waiting on the other side watching a happy little family.
I turned back and walked away. I couldn’t even bring myself to go to where they were. I was shattered. It dawned on me that Reatli managed to organize the visit and made sure they come early while I was at work. Shame on her: Sekhukhune se bonwa ke sebataladi. By the look and picture I just witnessed, Kevin thought Sheryl was his wife and those kids were those twins he’s been asking about. What a happy family.
I left the hospital broken. I couldn’t even go back to the office. I phoned and told my boss lies. I also phoned Milano to lock up my office. I drove home and just throw myself in bed and cried myself to sleep. I was crying because I decided to divorce Kevin so that he could be family with Sheryl and their kids but seeing them playing happy family tore my heart into a million pieces. Why did it hurt me so much! Kevin could not remember all the friends, other family members and close relatives that visited him but the one person he was supposed to have completely forgotten, happened to be the only one he remembered and wanted by his side, he only wanted Sheryl Gosiame.
I woke up two hours later. I wanted to find something that could perhaps trigger Kevin’s memories. Something I thought would be difficult for Sheryl to beat. Something only Kevin could remember. I wanted his memory back like yesterday, I wanted him to sign those divorce papers in a clear mind. So I had to find something and I had to find it fast.
I went to his study and took all the DVDs, USB flashes and photo collages he made. I went back to my bedroom, took out my laptop, sat down and embark to find anything that could force Kevin’s memories back. I was almost halfway through all the stuff I had, with no luck. There was only one cd and a usb left. I felt beaten up, there was nothing worthy on all the total sixteen CDs and USB flash disks I already went through. I decided to scan through the last CD and call it a day.
Ooh shucks. The sex video taken November 2011, the one Sheryl was using to manipulate Kevin. Ever since she handed them back to Kevin, we never had the chance nor made time to check them, well, I never wanted to see it then. But for some reason I was playing it and viewing what exactly happened that night that Sheryl claimed her sister Dintle spiked their drinks and let her seduce Kevin and then recorded the deeds. The night the twins were supposedly conceived.
Honestly I must say I couldn’t see what was happening on the clip. It was just confusing and unclear. I saw Kevin's face once then a woman’s body on top of a man's body( definitely not Kevin’s body, their faces not showing) and then it skips off to a different scene where Kevin is facing a different side while Sheryl is behind him touching his shoulders. Then again it goes to another scene where Sheryl and Kevin are in bed together naked, with Sheryl’s arm wrapped around Kev’s waist. Yaak…I stopped it and decided to put a USB flash disk. It was weird. It had two folders one named Nyiko another one named SND.
Unfreaking-believably Shocking! There before my eyes I found something very interesting. Although whatever I found might not help trigger Kevin’s memory…. But I think I found the truth. Something worth looking into. Something that would wipe the smile on Reatli’s face…Something that will remove Sheryl Gosiame from our lives for good.
Sheryl Gosiame! Your days are numbered…
I picked up my phone and dialed Sheryl.
Nna: Hi, it’s Obonolo
Sheryl: Hi ausi
Nna: I know you are around in Jo’burg, can we meet?
Sheryl: Ahhh, ehhh. Why?
Nna: You will have to wait for that. How about 17:30 in MacDonald Woodmead?
Sheryl: Ohk, see you
I hung up on her and prepared myself for our meeting. I had every reason to rejoice and be happy that Sheryl Gosiame will be out of our lives for good. Especially if she knew what was good for her.
I got to Woodmead and called her. She said she was 5minutes away. I ordered Oreo McFlurry ice cream and waited for her. Indeed she arrived in a crutch, limping her way towards where I was seated. Given the severity of Kevin’s injuries, I must say she was indeed lucky. She escaped with scratches. We greeted and she sat down in front of me.
I told her that I would just cut to the chase. I took out my laptop and played the video clips found in Kevin’s study.
Sheryl’s face turned purple. She had her hand on the mouth. She asked me where did I found that? I told her that it was irrelevant and that she should start explaining. She kept saying “Oh my God” so many times. I told her to stop wasting my time and explain what she just saw. She shook her head.
Nna: Madam Sheryl! Since you don’t want to talk, I will talk. I have two copies of the video clips. The real copy and the edited version. You my darling handed the original unedited copy to Kevin when you were exchanging the money with the evidence and proof of your manipulation. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t realize that the original unedited version was somehow saved in the usb. You and your sister Dintle planned all this to pin Kevin to this and used the edited version to ensure you threatened him and milked him money! The sex video you unfortunately failed to remove proves what happened that night, and it’s not the same as the one you and your Sister had given to Kevin and Nyiko when you started manipulating them. Also, I went through Nyiko's stuff, you and your late sister are accessory to murder and I can take this information to the police right now, then You and Nyiko will be spending the rest of your lives behind bars.
So Madam, I’m going to ask you one question and I need one answer. If you dare lie to me, Just kiss raising those brats goodbye because I will be forced to have you arrested for all the crimes documented in here that you lied about. But if you tell the truth, I will destroy all this, let you give me the proof of the truth. Once I have the proof, you can either pack whatever you have and go the hell away or stay. It’s your choice, I actually don’t care where you go from here.
Sheryl: Ohk, I will tell you the truth and give you proof, but please promise me that you will destroy the whole thing and not use that against me and Nyiko. He and his wife have been so kind to me and the twins.
Nna: Well, I’m not the manipulator here, you are. So don’t worry, I won’t stoop to your level.
Sheryl: Thank you.
Nna: We already know that Olefile is not the father of the twins, and as per the clips, it doesn’t seem like Kevin is either, so tell me, is that man you are busy bonking on the original clip the father of your twins? Please thread carefully before you answer because even if you lie now, before I destroy your future, I will get my proof.
Sheryl: I ..I won’t lie. Yes, Kevin is not the father of my babies. The man you see on the clip is the father of my twins.
Nna: Please speak loud, for the record! I love the sound of it. Are you telling me that you and your sister have kids from the same seeds? Nyiko Baloye is your twins' daddy?
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Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 181 (Part B)

Dygo 181 cont.
It didn’t take me long, I made few calls to family and packed an overnight bag and headed for the airport. I arrived in Bloemfontein around 18:00. You can imagine what was going through my mind. The shame of being labelled a married woman rushing to be by her cheating husband side while his girlfriend is also lying somewhere in the same hospital. You can imagine the nosy nurses who already knew that Mr Tau is a married man.
As I reached Trauma unit at Life Rosepark, my fears were realized. When I told them that I was Mrs. Tau and was there to see him, the nurses on duty didn’t hesitate to say that the man I addressed as my husband was bought in with makhwapeni. They went on and on about how they feel sorry for cheated wives that they have to deal with such nonsense. One in particular commended me for rushing over to my husband's bedside upon hearing that he was in here and said she would not have bothered. Yaa gossipers!
But well, in my heart I knew that I was only there as the mother of that unfaithful man's kids. Nothing else. I knew before I boarded the plane that it was definitely Sheryl Gosiame who was with Kevin when their car roll and got trapped underneath a huge truck When I phoned Kevin’s parents after the phone call from hospital, daddyt confirmed that they just left Reatli's home and were passing by Rethabile’s place. So I was not surprised nor shocked, I came prepared.
Two minutes later I was already in ICU. I was sitting in a cold chair and a room full of beeping noise, adjacent to Kev's hospital bed. Kevin was lying motionless on that bed. There was tubes and pipes and drips moving across his body, into the mouth, the nose and bandages around his head. Had the nurse not took me to where he was, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize him. His face was swollen. It broke my heart to see him looking so helpless and lifeless. The thought of the possibility of him being paralyzed and brain dead freaked the hell out of me. I didn’t even want to try to think about that.
All I did was pray and cry. I prayed over him, I prayed that God must have mercy on him, I prayed that he will wake up whole. I prayed that he won't be paralyzed nor brain dead, I prayed that perhaps this would be a turning point in his life, a chance to give his heart to the Lord and live an honest , god-fearing life. The life God had created him to lead. I prayed for strength, acceptance, and courage to deal with whatever that outcomes.
Sometime before midnight I fell asleep, still praying over him.
When I woke up, I had a blanket thrown nicely over me. I thought it must have been the nurses. First thing I did was call on Kevin. He was not responding, he was as I last saw him. No changes nor sign of any movement. Doctor Tom came and explain more about a few things regarding Kev's current condition. I asked him if it will be possible for the hospital to transfer him to either Linksfield or Milpark hospital in Johannesburg so that he could be closer to home and family. I also asked about the lady friend that came with him. Doctor said unfortunately she was transferred to a government hospital few hours earlier as she didn’t have medical aid. Doctor curiously asked if we are related to the lady friend. I ignored his question and asked him about the transfer.
He explained to me about hospital policy to transfer patients especially in their critical conditions. He said he can promise me that before end of the week if Kevin pulls through, they will transfer him. He went on explaining his reservations about transfer and how he personally doesn’t recommend it this soon but promised that he was waiting for some results from Kev's MRI and other scans to know the severity of his condition then only after, he will think about releasing him. I had already spoken to my brother to pull some strings and have him transferred home as soon as he can. Waiting for a week won’t work for me. I wasn’t planning to stay one more day in Bloem. The thought of the reasons why I was there made me more angry. Besides I had to go back to my kids, my work and my life.
When book of Jeremiah 29:11 States that : God knows the plans He has for us, plans not to hurt us but give us a brighter future and prosper us, I questioned what it meant for me in this situation. My future looked bleak, prosperity wasn't anywhere near. Was this God's plan for my life? To care for a man who had brought so much pain in our marriage? Will I be able to care for him? Being reminded everyday when I look at him that he got hurt while driving God knows where with his mistress?
As I drive back home from the airport on that Monday afternoon, I questioned a lot of Bible promises. But I knew whatever else happened, I was not turning my back on the Lord. Not this time when He was all I need and all I would need during this tough time. I kept saying “ Oh Lord, I want to do your will. Give me the wisdom, the courage and the words to say, the way to act so that I can glorify you in all this. Help me know how t cross this great and deepest ocean of anger and fear inside of me. You alone know that if ever I could try to swim alone in this, I will sink .
As soon as I get home, I gave both parents feedback and report on Kev's conditions. Basically I told them that he looked the same from the time I first saw him till when I was saying goodbye. DaddyT asked me when Kevin and I are were coming back to Jo’burg. I told him that I was already back. Yooo! Mamazala must have heard daddyt shocked and repeating what I said about being back alone. She must have taken the phone from daddy and asked me how could I abandon her son at times like this, left him at a foreign place with no one to care for. She went on and on saying Reatli was right about Kevin’s accident being my fault. I didn’t even utter a word, I was already prepared for being blamed. That’s how it goes in marriageville, especially mine. What ever wrong that Kevin does, I’m to be blamed. As soon as she finishes talking or bitching. I told her that I have to go. She was now raising her voice saying is that all I can say? I said yes and hung up on her.
Since I had called my boss immediately after the doctor’s phone call, I was expected to be back at work the next day. Given the long night I had and not getting enough sleep, I decided to take a nap before the kids comes back. I really missed them so much the entire weekend, so I needed to be refreshed and strong for them. After my power nap, I freshened up and went to fetch the kids. We got home and they told me about their weekend with Mamane Omo and Ausi Ora. They asked me where Lavo was, I lied and said he went away on a business trip. Poor kids, if only they knew.
Around 17:00 I got a call from Kefilwe aka Fifi ( Sheryl's sister in law). The nerve of that woman! She just asked me why did I allow the hospital to move Lemosego to a government hospital while Kevin stayed behind in a private hospital. I really didn’t have time for her nonsense, and told her that Sheryl might have been Kevin’s baby mama and responsibility, but she sure isn’t mine. Yes when I got to hospital I was asked if my husband and his sister were on medical aid, I only said my husband is sure on one, and I had no idea about the lady friend he was with as she was not in any way related to me. I had no idea that they transferred her until Dr. Tom told me later that evening. I hung up on her soon after telling her that.
Batho ba ka go makatsa ka nnete! Where does she gets off telling me that I am cruel?
In all honesty, the only reason I rushed to Kevin’s bedside was only because legally I was still his wife. So if he had to bite the dust, I would be the one having to make all the decision! Other than that unfortunate fact, I wasn’t going to bother. Why would I even bother about the woman who destroyed my life? Even if it was possible for a non member to be allowed to use one’s medical aid, I would still not help Sheryl Gosiame. Call me bitter and angry scorned woman, but truth was Hell hath no fury like a woman betrayed. Why will I be any different? She will have to die first before getting help from me ever again. She burned that bridge long time ago. I was not going to be manipulated into helping that trash.
Yes, in my head and according to those papers I gave to MamaTau, Kevin and I were over but I would not turn my back on him now. I don’t want God to punish me. Although the vows we made ended the day he slept with Sheryl, in my heart, he will always have a special place. I know I will miss my husband with every breath of every day. I will also miss the possibility of us being a happy family , of sharing in our achievements, of shared laughs and secrets, of so many many things.
No matter how far along this path I journey, no matter how well I learn to absorb the pain, no matter how “healed” I manage to become, I’ll never forget and never stop suffering the loss of a future I can’t have. I’ve searched for answers, just like every other broken and cheated woman I’ve met, but none have presented themselves as of yet. I still want to know why! I still want to know if I’m being punished! I still want to know the many “what ifs” parts that are unanswerable. I guess I still haven’t reached the Acceptance step, and I doubt I ever will, mostly because I have no idea what that even means.
I made a conscious decision that I will help him recover from this and only after that, I will serve him with the divorce papers. Right now, priority was to have him closer to home where we can be able to visit him. Abuti Omphile assured me that Kevin will be airlifted to Milpark as soon as possible.
Time went pretty fast. Kevin was transferred to Jo’burg. The doctors ruled out paralysis. He was out of coma but still semi unconscious. He still had a long way to go but every day held hope for the Tau and for him. Most of the time when I go visit him, I either find him asleep or taken somewhere for tests. Doctors confirmed that the swelling on his brain was gone. Although the MRI ruled out any brain damage, he has suffered a severe head injury upon impact.
Three weeks later Kevin was awake. I will never forget how I felt when the Doctor called me from work that I should rush to hospital. At first I expected the worst. I didn’t even say goodbye to anyone. I rushed to Milpark Hospital. When I got there I looked for the doctor that called me before I could rush to Kevin’s ward. The doctor told me that he had some good and bad news. He went all medical on me about head injuries, memory loss, blah blah. He said Kevin might be all awake and alive but he had a long way to go to recovery. The doctor then said He was happy that Kevin didn’t seem like he had speech, mobility or memory loss . He said the first thing that Kevin said when he regained his consciousness was that he wanted to see his wife and kids. Hence the doctor called me. I was so relieved that Kevin was back, alive and yes not paralyzed or brain damaged. Dr. said I can go see him.
As I entered the room, I saw Kevin off machines and sitting up in bed, sipping some water. Relief swept over me. I walked towards him just to give him a hug. I then pulled out a chair and sat in front of him. Kev was just looking at me and smiling ear to ear. I greeted him and asked him how he was feeling. He went on and on about how his kids and wife kept him alive. How at times when he was undergoing surgery and head drilling all he thought of was his wife, his daughter and son. I didn’t want to spoil his mood by bursting his bubbles and asking him lots of questions. So I let him had fun talking about me and our kids as if we were such a close-knit and happy family.
Just as I was deep in thoughts, my head bowed wondering when will I be able to tell him that I’ve filled for divorce, he distracted my thoughts by clearing his throat. I looked up and moved a little closer to him. I said I was sorry for being absent-minded. I held his left hand, and asked him what did he want to say.
Talk about bombshell!
Kevin: Mam! When is my wife and kids arriving to see me? I have been dying to see them!!!!!
What! What is this man on about? Did he just addressed me like that? Mam? And what’s with the stupid question? Where is his wife and kids? Who the hell does he think I am?
Nna: Hau Kev, what do you mean? I’m here! The kids are at creche, we will arrange for them to come see you!
Kevin: Mam! I said where is my wife and my twins? What do you mean you are here? Eintlik who are you?
Nna: Tell me you are kidding right? There is no way you of all people could ask me such question. I am your wife Kevin. What do you mean who am I?
Kev: Ausi wee, I repeat! I don’t know who you are and why you are here. All I know is that I asked the doctor to call my wife and bring my kids here. Look here Mam. I don’t know why you think you could come here and pretend or claim to be my wife. I might have been injured and all, but I surely know the woman I married, and that’s not you. You are not my wife. Please get of my room.
Do what? Like what just happened here?
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Broken Vows - Diary ya ga Obonolo Chapter 181 (Part A)

Dygo 181
Just as I get to Buccleuch Interchange, instead of keeping right side heading towards Roodepoort, I took short left, N1 towards Polokwane.
Tears flooding down my cheeks. Whitney Houston’s Heartbreak Hotel playing non-stop ( on repeat). I felt so beaten up. I felt like a looser. I felt like I was not good enough. I felt all the emotional pain. All I felt was the emotional defeat; to some the pain is very real. To me it was heart shattering. Yes, at one point or another, everyone must experience this mind numbing feeling (unless you confine yourself to a house and never interact with anything or anyone.
Anyone who's ever gone through the emotional pain of a heartbreak more often than not can express the experience through the form of some type of physical pain. Emotions affect physical health in more ways than many realize. To me it was a mixture of everything, my whole body was numb with pain. Blaming myself for being naive, to putting other people’s feelings before my own.
It is true, emotions are the way the mind responds to trouble inside the body. Whether you feel love or sadness is also a response to something you feel outside the body. With pain it is a closer-in response, to something inside the body, it is like information our body tells us something inside isn't functioning properly and that we need to listen to what our body tells us.
Heartbreak can be caused by many different circumstances and that's what makes this emotion easily recognized by nearly every person on the planet. It can result from the loss of a loved one, a partner, a friend and even a close pet. Or it can be caused from disappointment, betrayal or a change from known surroundings. It might not even be a loss at all but a sense of loss, or the realization that the love of the person you care most for is drifting far from where it had always been. The love so deeply that I felt for Kevin had slipped through my entire being and truly there was nothing I could do.
Hard as it was the realization of what I did freaked me so bad. Never did I ever imagine myself walking away from my marriage. I always believed love conquers all, but I guess I was wrong. Nothing pained me more than to realize that even after everything that I gave up and had given in my marriage, it never stopped my husband from turning his back on me. Trust me, even if I had served him jelly jar on a platinum dish, he would have still not even noticed. That’s the sad part about Love. It is so blind.
Love, in the same perspective as heartbreak, neither has a corrective definition nor specific amplitude implied by the physical word itself. There's a never-ending limit to the definition of love because there are so many things we love and in many different ways. There's friendship love, love for animals and possessions, love for music or hey, even food.
When you lose someone you love, you have lost the sense of purpose acquired by the relationship between them and yourself. You lose the purpose you felt when doing simple things to make them smile, and making yourself joyful in return. You lose a part of yourself when connections are lost, and its not far-fetched to say that you feel completely empty inside. There's an ache, a deep ache that erupts from the inside of our bodies longing for the past. The pain is real and there's no other way to describe how bad it really hurts than to name it heartbreak. Its a longing for the past and the pain of feeling completely empty and abandoned. It makes it hard to get up in the morning and to get through the day, but all wounds are inevitably healed through time, and thus you hope for the future to approach quicker.
The cycle should continue endlessly, but as we know that could only occur in a perfect world, which this is not. Heartbreak happens, and it changes who we are for the better (in most cases) and so will it be for the rest of our lives and next. My fear was : Will my Heartbreak change me for the worst or the better?
I guess that will unfold as I journey through rediscovering and finding my feet again.
Before I knew it I was at Blue Valley Estate entrance. I knew which number to dial to be let in. A night before I passed by wit Rich before we went clubbing, so I waited for response. Thank God he was home. He advised the security to open for me. I drove in and went to his place. I stood by the door and knocked. He opened the door and I just threw myself in his arms and cried. I cried so bad that I even fell asleep without telling him what was going on.
When I woke up it was 16h45. Knowing Rich, he was all showered and dressed up. He said I should freshen up we going out. I was not in a party mood, all I needed was a good tub of Haagen -Dazs Cream Brulee ice cream and or my favorite Tiramisu Cake. And drown my sorrows. I was not going to be a good company. I told Rich that he can go ahead with his plans and that I will go home.
He convinced me to trust him and said I will lighten up. Well I was convinced. He said that the duo was in Jo’burg so there was no need to stress about outfit, I could go to my place to change into a number number or, we could rush to the shops and grab something. I chose the latter. I was not about to drive home to bump into Kevin, so I rather go shopping. Without wasting time we drove in Rich's car and rushed shopping before shops closes. I got an outfit. Rich paid and we went back to his place. Fifteen minutes later we were on the way to Jo’burg, everyone driving their car. I could not have left my car because I would have to drive home later at night.
I was following Rich as he was fetching his friend at Woodmead. The guy brought his girlfriend Tilly. Rich gave him his car keys and drove my car. Off we went to Rosebank. We had so much fun, we danced and danced and drank and I was at a very different state. I had blocked everything and let my hair down. As the night progress, the alcohol was finding home in my body, I was feeling that knock. I decided to go to the bathroom, Tilly followed me. We did what needed to be done and as we wash our hands she opened my wound. She asked me what was a married woman doing with an eligible bachelor like Rich? That’s it dawned to me, I was no longer a “married woman” , in few days Kevin will sign on the dotted line ( if not done already) and Il be a free woman.
Although most pain of heartbreak is not that severe, it still has a profound effect on one’s daily living. Symptoms and effect of breakup include loss of appetite, insomnia, headaches, stomach aches, nausea, a ton of tears, occasional nightmares, alcohol/substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, panic attacks, loss of interest, fatigue, loneliness and hopelessness. For me, it was lots of alcohol and some distraction. I can’t say one is aware of their distractive behavior but when you try hard to suppress pain, you fall right into a mess. That’s what happened to me that weekend.
Lots of Alcohol, Frustrations, stress, broken heart, and all the negative emotions you can think of have a nasty way of turning even a good girl wild. I still cannot say I planned it or not, but one thing for sure I just let it happen. Call me sluty or loose or bitchy, that’s the price any man has to pay for messing a good woman up.
With a pounding headache and a dry mouth I woke up butt naked in a strange place, my clothes roughed up on the floor. As I begin to be very clear of my whereabouts and reasons why I was not at home alone in my bed, I realised what I did. I quickly sit up in bed and realised again that I had company. Yeah, last night's company, dead asleep next to me. I quickly got out of bed and took my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom. I cried for what seemed like forever, for the person I had become. I freshened up and dressed up and looked for my handbag and checked the time. It was six thirty Sunday morning. I grabbed my bag, and tiptoed out of the house. As I try to recall where my car is parked, I remembered that Rich was driving it, so it will be in his garage. I went back inside and opened the garage from inside and drove out .
When I get home , there was still no sign of Kevin. I quickly took out my phone and realised that Kevin didn’t try even once to call me. So it was clear, he never went back home as well, meaning he was still in Bloemfontein.
I had lots of missed calls from two unknown numbers, almost every member of the Tau and a few from my own family. Since I put my phone on silent the previous night. I didn’t want to be disturbed. I thought to myself that I wont even return their calls. I didn’t need to be lectured or reminded of my decision. So I ignored them .
I did my babalaz concoction and sat in the dinning room and reminisce.
Most of last night was just a blur. I wasn’t even sure if we crossed the line or not. All I remember is me begging Rich to make me feel good. I remember us kissing each other really rough and taking off our clothes.. The rest just happened to be blocked. I don’t know if I was in denial to recall what might have happened or if it was good that I genuinely had no recollection thereof. As I continued tiding up, I tried hard to suppress the memory of a night before.
As I try hard not to relive the events of last night, I got distracted.
My phone rang, I rushed to where it was and answered without checking caller id.
Nna: Good morning
Caller: It would have been a very good one had I woken up with you in my arms
Nna: Haahaa, unfortunately for you. Those romantic movies you watch on TV hardly happens in real life.
Caller: But Mabhebheza, why did you sneak out on me! Leave without saying goodbye?
Nna: Phalane wee! You know I wasn’t supposed to have been there in the first place. I had to rush home. You seemed so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb.
Phalane: Okay I understand. O grand mara Mabhebheza? Hope you are not in trouble at home.
Nna: Not at all. It’s house to let, so, don't worry I'm good. Rich, I am sorry about last night. I was out of line again.
Phalane: No Mabhebheza, you don’t have to apologize. I think by now I know you. Whenever you are stressed you just take comfort in drinking and think you need to do things to feel better. I have learned not to go with the flow, especially when you are in that state. In as much as I wanted you just as much as you wanted me. I can never take advantage of you. So don’t feel bad about it. I hope you don’t regret spending a night with me because I surely don’t.
Nna: Ooh shucks Rich, did we? I was just too drunk .I remember literally forcing you to touch me and make love to me...I am so ashamed of myself. Honestly I am a mess.
Phalane: No we didn’t. We just kissed and cuddled and you fell asleep. Like I said I can never take advantage of you. I won’t lie and say I didn’t have ideas of having you, but I care about you so much and also know that on your sober state you would not want me to touch you. You know what Mabhebheza the day I will make love to you, I want you to be on a sober state not intoxicated. Trust me I would not say no.
Nna: Phew! I must say I am relieved that we didn’t cross the line, especially drunk as I was. Funny enough, I don’t think I would have regretted that we did. But I am still sorry for leading you on and putting you in such awkward position. Thank you for always putting my needs first ahead of yours.
Phalane: Don’t mention it. I guess I know you are in a really bad space Mabhebheza. You need to figure things out before jumping into some once off things that would distract you.
Rich told me that he forgot to tell me that he was leaving for US on Friday. He said his friends were planning a send off party for him and asked if I could RSVP. I told him that I will think about it and get back to him. We spoke about how I will miss him and how lost I will be in times like yesterday when I needed my drug. We promised to keep in touch. We said our goodbyes and hung up.
Problem with forbidden fruits, whenever they are within your reach its never easy to stop nibbling on them. Richmond Phalane Dikgale was my forbidden fruit. I know I should not have him, but whenever he’s within my reach, I fail to hold myself. He is just that one person you’ll love to hate. He doesn’t even have to try. One look at him sends any woman to a climax. His sex appeal is undeniably luring. He is simply very irresistible. No wonder whenever I am wasted, I always run to him yet all the time he manages to put me on the line. I must say, I am grateful that it was him. Imagine if it was someone else, I would be saying a different story. Any other man would take me on and f#‪#‎ck‬ the daylight out of me. Not Richmond. I was sad that he was leaving, but also happy that the getting drunk and calling him won’t happen anymore.
Unfortunately Rich didn’t know I already made my decision. I couldn’t’ continue being so miserably messed up in my marriage. In few days I was about to become a Divorcee…
I went upstairs to take a nap. When I woke up it was Three-Thirty in the afternoon. I freshened up and went downstairs to prepare something to eat. Just as I entered the Lounge with a plan to put some Romantic Repertoire , my phone rang. It was an anonymous call. Initially I wanted to ignore it just in case it was my family still looking for me. I have been avoiding calls since last night. But something said I should pick up.
Nna: Hello
Caller: Mrs. Tau?
Nna: Yes it’s me, Who is this?
Caller: This is Dr. Tom Mabilo, calling from Life Rosepark Hospital in Bloemfontein. Your husband has been in a fatal car accident.
What? Accident? Didn’t Kevin flew to Bloem? How did he end up in a car? Whose car? Where was he driving to? Million questions played in my mind.. Kevin? In an accident? I whispered a little pray. “ please God ,protect him! Let him be okay.” Immediately I felt sweat rushing through my adrenaline. I was shaking, my hands trembling. I threw myself on the sofa, flood of tears drowning my heart.
Nna: Is he…is he okay Doctor?
Dr. Tom: Mam, I’m afraid he is not looking good. His head is badly hurt and he suffered a spinal injury . His sister was luckier, she has a few broken ribs and her right leg is partly broken and she lost a lot of blood. We are doing all we can.
For an instant I got confused. Did Reatli drive to Bloem yesterday after I left? I wasn’t sure what to make out of the Doctor’s last statement. Did Kevin had an accident with Reatli? Which sister was the doctor talking about? Or is it Sheryl? She lied that she was Kevin’s sister?
The doctor went on explaining what happened at the scene and how they were both lucky to be alive. The doctor said the sister suffered a concussion but she was able to provide them with my details before she slept into unconsciousness. Kevin had been unconscious since the helicopter airlifted him yesterday around ten o’clock in the morning.
Dr. Tom: I am sorry Mrs. Tau. You might want to come down to the hospital. We are working round the clock to save your husband’s life.
Nna: How bad is he doctor?
Dr. Tom: They are still checking his mobility and if any brain damage. There’s a high possibility that..
Nna: No doctor. Not Kevin. Please! Don’t tell me that my husband could be brain damaged and paralyzed?
Nausea swept me as I clutched my stomach. This could not be happening. Yes I wanted to divorce him not lose him. He is still the father of my kids. I have suffered so much. I won’t handle this. Kevin better wake up and be okay.
Dr. Tom: I am afraid we won’t know for sure. Maybe in a day or two. But there is a chance…Like I said Mrs. Tau, your husband is pretty banged up. Lacerations and lots of stiches. He’s been on a induced coma. Mrs. Tau, I’m really sorry about all this. I will be here through the night if you have any questions.
I thanked him and we hung up.
Tears filled my eyes. All I needed to do was to creep back into my room, fall asleep and forget the phone call ever happened. But that was not possible. No amount of pretending will erase the truth. My husband must have been with his mistress. There was no way the sister the doctor was talking about could be Reatli. It is Sheryl Gosiame!
I exhaled slowly and shuddered with alarm.
Would God really ask me or expect me to care for an unfaithful man who disrespected, hurt , broke my heart and shamed me so many times? Were these the plans God had for me? Surely not, Lord.
What’s next? What do I do?
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