Mzansi Stories : Friendship and other things
Showing posts with label Friendship and other things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship and other things. Show all posts

Sunday, July 26


Friendship and other things chapter 71

Chapter 71
He tossed my food and came towards me, his clothes reeked stale whiskey and cigarettes. His face lit up like the sun as he appeared to be happy seeing me this weak, he loved watching and listening to me beg him to let me go, he took pride in being the master my master. Face filled with glee like a child in a candy store, he dangled the keys in front of me laughing everytime I attempted to reach them.
Me"Let me gooooo!"
I begged but it seemed like my plea fell on deaf ears
Me"At least untie me" 
He sat next to me and took out a pocket knife, he grabbed my wrist
Tau"Seeing you bleed turns me on" 
He brought my hand to his lip kissing my wrist, he slowly caressed them hymning "Up in flames" which was very appropriate. I watched as he slit my wrist with a smile on his face, not flinching or anything of a sort. My whole body went numb, I silently cried as my body was beginning to shut down again.
Tau"You are mine" 
Suddenly I became despondent wondering if he controlled me or I wanted to be his victim, suddenly I began pondering to how I got here, reflecting to how after three wonderful years would I be back at Tau Segomelo's arms or in this case hell. What is it about him that keeps me coming back, what was it about me that needed his drama to feel better about myself? Did I relate to him more than Skylar or do I just like being a victim?. Were my demons bigger than me? Who is Thandiwe Morris Bremner and why is she so afraid of greatness?
Me"I need your pain"

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Monday, June 22


Friendship and other things Chapter 70

Chapter 70

I was on another flight after being at LAX for two hours, I was bushed no lies. I couldn't even feel my legs anymore, I used the next 5 hours to sleep but I couldn't even fall asleep. My thoughts transported me to when I bought my first Red bottoms and Chanel bag.

Thoughts 2003*
I got back from school and unpacked my book, I was suppose to meet with Alarick in Hyde Park. I was so nervous no lies, yesterday he picked me up and declined to have sex with me. If that wasn't weird enough he wanted to speak about my life and my future plans , We spoke until I fell asleep. I found myself crying to a stranger with an accent of a killer, but that stranger comforted me. I remember this day like it was yesterday, I wore black shorts with a white vest and gold sandals. I was still your typical PE girl, I took a vneck jersey as a just incase because PE weather groomed me well. hahaha I love my city, I got a metre taxi and left for Hyde park without any fear of this being some trap. I called him and told him where I was, he told me to go to a store called Apsely house and I asked around until I found the store. Lord! did I feel out of place, he was sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne on his hand. Imagine George Clooney sex appeal with all grey hair, well shaped body but probably 60 years old. Me"Hello" I was so nervous. Him"African time hahaha" I was really late. Me"Sorry, I had classes today" he said its fine, he asked me about class and how it was, I told him and he motivated me to do better than average. I could not understand his accent sometimes but I found it funny anyway. Alarick"Size shoe" I smiled because I couldn't laugh. Me"4" he went to the sales lady and told her, 3 pairs with one Scrap Jimmy choo sandal. Me"Hay!" that was all I could say, from the store we went to others like Burberry to D&G. In the car we hardly spoke he was on the phone, speaking in German and I was still dumbfounded. We got to Braam and the car stopped, his driver opened the door for us. Me"Why are we here" he looked at me. Alarick"English bad hahaha" we spoke to the driver in German and from where I was standing he sounded scary but the driver didn't look scared. Driver"He says this is your new home, well until you finish with varsity. He will pay for your fees only if you promise to stop your night job, he wants you to invite him to your graduation and that these clothes are yours " I think I was getting punked. Me"Why me?" he told his driver what to say. Driver"You remind him of his late daughter, she passed away last year and he thinks you deserve these things" I wiped my tears, this memory hurts because he passed away before he could even see me graduate. I always say besides our parents, out there you are likely to meet a stranger who would risk everything to see you happy. Beyond sex or any lust but maternal type of thing, stranger with effect I call them.Felt like time was speeding me up, next thing I was in JFK. I think I sat there for more than an hour, the next hour I spent in the toilet crying my lungs out. I searched in my bag for coins, I called someone to come pick me up. He promised to come as fast as he could, surprised he even picked up. I bought myself a muffin and green tea, I was starved and drained. Kopano"You took the phrase too far Tee" I laughed. Me"The city that never sleeps" we hugged. Kopano"You look like a mess,where are your bags? " I showed him my things. Kopano"Somethings never change" we took the bags and hailed a cab. Kopano"He is in the Hamptons, you know its Polo season" I smiled. Me"Ever so shallow, how are you?" we got to his apartment, we didn't even talk much. Me" Goodnight" I went straight to bed . 

Narrative *
Kopano"Where are you?" he was on the phone with Nate, what Thandi didn't know alot had changed after she left. Nate had a son with Nambitha Abonga, although he didn't find out about it in the most pleasant way but he did. Nate"We are still in Manhattan, where are you?" earlier they had a party for Abonga, Kopano had to leave because of Thandi. Kopano"Down town, get Skylar here" as expected Nate was against it. Nate"No! Kp!" Kopano"Dude,don't make me mention how Tee helped Nana. Just make sure he brings the twins" after alot of convincing he finally agree. Nate"You love her?" Kopano didn't expect the question but he was sure of his answer. Kopano"Like the little sister I never had, and I think she deserves a chance at happiness" with that said Nate couldn't argue . Kopano waited for what felt like a life time before someone knocked on his door. Skylar"We home" the twins were sleeping. Nate"Beer please" Kopano side eyed him. Nate"It was worth a try" he headed to the kitchen, while Skylar was catching Kopano up on what happened after he left. Kopano"Blair looks naughty even when he's asleep" he looked like his mother everyday. Skylar"he looks peaceful for once, probably tired from all the dancing" they laughed. Kopano"We call crawling dancing lately, I see you" Nate came back. Kopano"Thandi is here" at first Skylar wasn't sure what Kopano said. Nate"Fuck!" Kopano"Tee is here, in my bedroom. Nate and I will take a walk to.." Nate"Hell no! I am not taking a walk with you" Kopano dragged his arm. Nate"You're lucky, I am more of a lover than a fighter" they left the apartment leaving Skylar with the twins and a sleeping Thandiwe.

Have you ever been asleep but your whole senses are wide awake. It felt like someone was watching me sleep, and the. other pulling my hair. Me"Kopano" I opened one eye, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Me"Litha" I opened my eyes and sat up immediately. Skylar"Don't touch him" Lelethu was behind me playing with my hair. Me"I am s..." he interrupted me. Skylar" A letter Tee? we have kids , we were married, twins Tee and you left me" I wanted to talk but I decided against it. Skylar"Will you leave again Tee?" I told him "no" , I could see he was really hurt. Skylar"I am not ready to let you but the house at the Hamptons is empty, the twins can leave with you and I take them every weekend" I didn't expect an award for returning but a seperation? that I never anticipated. Me"No!" he looked at me and laughed. Me"No! I was a coward, I ran when things got serious but I love you babe!for once I love myself too, enough to love you and the twins. I was hallow,I was living but not alive and those months away made me realize how much I loved you" Lelethu was clinging to me like a new born. Me"I hurt you fine but don't punish yourself over my stupidity " he shrugged. Skylar"Nice speech, Flora is at the house and I'll tell the driver to pick you up. Don't drag my friends into our marital issues, I'll leave Lethu here because she seems to feel your love" I wont lie I cried more than I have ever cried. Me"Skylar please don't leave me!" I moved Lethu to the side and ran to Skylar. Skylar"I can't do this again Tee" that was it, he left me. I cried the whole night with Lelethu sleeping next to me, when Kopano returned I heard shouting and knew Skylar was angry at him.

4 months later
To say things have been weird would be an understatement, Skylar and I were just drifting apart. I was on the verge of giving up on my marriage but something stopped me, maybe the thought of my kids growing up without both parents or the thought of Blair turning out to be like me. He was coming to fetch the kids, I had the Flora and the nannies help me out. He arrived and we were having a picnic, at least I was. Skylar"Should I wait inside?" Blaine ran to his father. Me"Join us, I promise you can leave after this" we sat on the grass . Me"Relax" he chuckled. Skylar"You look happy" I was. Me"I am" we shared a moment. Me"I miss you" I went in for a kiss. Skylar"No Tee, we combined by our kids and that's all" I smiled. Me"I want you back, I need you back" he smiled, I took his hand. Skylar"You not giving up" I nodded. "You want to know why I want you back?" he nodded. "You were there when I had no direction, when loving me was toxic, you were there when I needed saving. I love you and I will wait for you, even if waiting means watching you love another woman." I shrugged. "No don't love anyone else but me, I hate how you make me nervous and how I say all the wrong things! You make me a better person and I love you" he looked at me. Me"I wont give up on you" his eyes glued to mine. Skylar"I came here to tell you, I can't be with you" he smiled and I knew he would come around. Me"Then you shouldn't have wore those jeans" we both laughed Blaine giggled along. Me"I love you" he kissed me . Skylar" I love you too" I reached for my phone and played, 'Glen_ fall inlove again' he laughed again. Skylar"You just had to play that song" I smiled at him. Me"Allow me, plus maid in manhattan was our movie"

Maybe happy endings do exist when give the chance, maybe it takes having to lose yourself in the mist or dying to actually realize. All the things that you think are important are not and maybe if you stopped worrying so much, you might realize "You are stronger than you think"

The end *

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Friendship and other things Chapter 69

Chapter 69

I remember this one time, it was my birthday and Luyanda bought me a book a series of Sweet Valley high books. Trust me I cherished those books, yet never once had I read them. Not because I didn't want too, trust me I did want to read them but I was never interested in them. I liked them but not enough to actually read them, he thought I wanted to read them because I claimed to like them. Weird part, I still have all of the books in good condition, why? Because those books are the reminder of my first death. 

May 2000/ friday after school( my thoughts on the plane)
We were sitting on a 3 seat before the seat of the bus, it was Khanya Luyanda Bulumko and I. I sat on top of Luyanda because the bus was packed, the other two were deep in conversion planning matric dance outfits. Luyanda had still not asked me, but we were just friends although I wanted more. Luyanda"I want to ask Elihle to the dance qha ndoyika,that girl makes me nervous Tee" how come I didn't make him nervous? We have kissed before, hell we acted like a couple most of the time. We got off eNtshekisa , he suggested we chill at his place when we got there mamakhe bengekho. Luyanda"You can chill e roomini, I have to switch off the alarm " I nodded . he came in after a while and asked what I wanted to eat, I told him I wasn't hungry and Lord knows I was starved. Why do girls torture themselves, 90% of us decline food from our partners the first few weeks. Luyanda "hahaha okay" he went out again and came back with food. Me"Told you ndihluthi" he said I should eat anyway. Luyanda "Just eat, woman" we ate while making small talk, I excused myself. 

I laughed a little at how aneroxia controlled my life for years, my parents were so blind or ignorant, Luyanda tried to help but failed and Kopano didn't attempt he just saved me from myself. I will always be grateful to Kopano for reaching out to me, although we had the worst ending. Anyway I went to throw up, and washed my mouth. Luyanda "Thought you ran away from me" I smiled and we started kissing, next thing I know he was reaching for a condom. Me"I am not ready" I really wasn't, I imagined my first time with someone who loved me. Luyanda may have loved me but not the way I wanted him too, I needed him to see me the way he saw some girls. Luyanda"I just thought you wanted it, you and I are the only virgins in grade 12" I sucked at fighting for something I believe in. Me"Are you mad at me?" he smiled me. Luyanda"no I love you way too much for that" I was naive and unloved, I was stupid then hence over the years I changed the story. Me"I want us to do it" Luyanda"It will ruin our friendship" I smiled. Me"We are bigger than sex, we just helping each other" we agreed and through our sloppy mistakes we finally got it right. You see with sex its a coin flip, you wish to get tales and instead you receive heads. Does that make sense? with sex there will never be two winners, especially with virginity something so pure should be cherished but people don't know this. When I got home, I cried my lungs out I felt so dirty because I wasn't ready and my mind haunted me! I realized how worthless I was then, I couldn't even protect my own virginity! The weird part Luyanda never asked me "Are you sure" I wanted those words! I needed them so much it hurts to know I was not worthy of 3 words!. "water mam'? " the flight attendant interrupted my thoughts. Me"No thank you" I wiped my tears DRIFTED BACK TO MY THOUGHTS. if that was not enough we started having sex on the regular, Luyanda started dating Elihle and was chowing me on the side. I think it was after we got our matric results, Luyanda had decided on Rhodes and I was accepted at UCT and Wits but I took Wits because it was further. We were sitting outside Khanya's house, we were drinking but nothing heavy . Me"We should cherish the days we have" planned our 31st december, funny how when that came we were already separated as a group. With Luyanda focused on Elihle, Bulumko was dating Khanya and I was longing for Luyanda. 

Varsity came and our first march break I went home with the hopes of seeing Luyanda, We hung out and I was still the best friend although one weird night. We were kissing and fiddling as usual, we got hot and heavy. Me"I have a boyfriend, and I don't want to ruin it" he laid next to me. Luyanda "ngoku ufuna uthini?" I kept quiet. Luyanda" I have a feeling you want us to date, my biggest fear is if we date we wont work out and our friendship will fail. I love our friendship Tee, but if you want us to date then we will" Luyanda was obvious why was I so blind kengoku? Why would I be that desperate for love? I left Rorisang for Jabu, I then dumped Jabu for Tau and Tau for Luyanda who later got replaced by Kopano to only leave Kopano for his best friend. As Thandiwe Morris I slept with 5 men and Beauty I slept with 20 men but weird how I am not ashamed nor do I pity myself for paying off my fees with prostitution, my biggest pity goes to my parents I feel sorry for them. They missed out on getting to know me, getting to raise an amazing woman and yes regardless of my mistakes I grew up to be amazing. I have everything I have ever wanted, Wealth, Friendship and now I need my family.

Self love :)

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Friendship and other things Chapter 68

Chapter 68

I can spot a liar from far, I think its one of those things 'it takes one to know one' I could smile and laugh with you while I know every well that you're lying to me. I think I do that to check your intentions, there are two sides to every lie anyway. Its either you're lying to protect or lying to benefit, trust the two can be confusing but after what is said after the lie determines their intentions.

Me"Oh? But Skylar and I went to Nina's wedding last fall while I was pregnant with the twins, I guess they were lucky enough to have failed unions" I got up and poured myself a glass of wine, I didn't offer Bells wine he wasn't worthy of my alcohol. Me"I have to be in North riding today, someone bought the house!" He was searching for a reaction in eyes but just like house wives I had a poker face. Me"I'll drive behind you" Bells"Lets take the same car" I smiled. Me"Babe I have to return here remember? So I will need my car" he laughed. Bells"Petrol wasted but akhonto" I shrugged. Me"Hayke, babe let me clean up quickly and then do me, but I have food in the fridge " I didn't even wait for him to answer, I just went straight to my room. I called Jabu his phone went straight to voice mail, I called Songezo and if bendim buzzer would have failed.
Songezo"Skank!" I laughed . Me"Beni bone uKopano?" Songezo"Phi baby? Kopano doesn't even talk to us but Jabu, and gqibele kudala no Jabu lowo" oh yet Bells came all this way to tell me about Skylar. Me"Nanku Bells apha" he kept quiet. Me"Bhabha" he sighed. Songezo"Thandiwe uyandazi, I told nangoku ufika I don't condone what you did and Thabang nam decided to ubhekela kancinci, I told Bells to say sorry for telling Skylar buno Jabu." but Bells? . Me"Akhonto babe, just wanted to clear the air. Uyi fumene message yam?" but why would Bells want to hurt me?. Songezo"I managed to book eya e LAX, you'll fly out to New York from there" omg! that was going to take a life time. Me"Maximum of 20 hours if not more, but my kids are worth it" we kept quiet. Me"Enkosi tshomi, I'll be forever grateful kuwe no Thabang." he laughed voice filled with glee. Songezo"Anytime kalok baby wam, We will meet you eAirport" we spoke some more, we decided on drinks before I depart. Songezo"Bells?" Me"Bells who?" I am not the type to extend a feud, I just write you off. I took a quick bath and laughed at how all my bags were already in my car, I just needed to pack away the jogging clothes and toiletries. I wore blue torn jeans with a white vest and nude red bottoms, I decided to wear a hat and shades. Me"Bells ndaphuma" we walked out together, he got in his car and I got in mine. I decided to drive straight and stopped twice to pee, music blasting my speakers with The Script music. I got a text from Jabu 'Babe get here already its been 4 hours, we in Kempton Park" I was enjoying driving so much because when I finally got to Kempton park I took the longer route to get to Thabang's place. 

There is something about friendship that makes you feel whole, like nothing could ever go wrong. I could have got angry at everyone for Bells trying to control my life but instead, my realest showed me friendships knows no betrayal. At the Airport we were all in tears, we stood there like emotional teenagers. Me"This reminds me of Varsity, I love you guys" after those words, it felt like we were in Braam again. Jabu"You will always have a home here" we hugged. Thabang"Thank you for teaching me the meaning of friendship" we shared a kiss. Songezo"I want to visit you soon! teach my babies friendship is everything" we all shared a hug. Me"Love you guys"


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Friendship and other things Chapter 67

Chapter 67

I never say this often and I doubt I would really admit it out loud but Mpumalanga is beautiful! Something about that place that could make you write a bookand finish it on the same day. I had been stayimg in Vaalbank for 3 straight months, isolated from everything and everyone and trust me I didn't mind. My friends and I would occasionally Skype but that too was a drag, I was happy though at least I felt happy. Wait how do you define happiness again? I just want to know if we talking about the same thing or lets just say I felt less empty lately. I won't lie not a day went by without me thinking about my children, Skylar whom I claimed to have forgotten. I may have been content but I still felt the gap they left, I sometimes stop myself from making that call although its hard.

I was sitting next to the fire place reading a Sidney Sheldon novel, it was really cold. I kept on looking at my phone, pretending not to want to call had to be the most difficult this but I decided to call. Me"You're stupid" the phone rang. "Hey" I kept quiet trying to gain strength. "Hey" Me"Uhm hey" Nate"Tee?" I nodded like he could see me. Nate"Tee?" Me"How is he? how are they? are they healthy? is Blaine looking after Blair? they turning 7 next month" Nate"I can't tell you those things Tee" Me"Pls Nate" Me"Tell him I am getting better,he will know what I mean" I giggled. Nate"he moved on" dropped the phone without hesitation. wait he moved on? with who? so quick? but Nate is going thro

I wanted to Souped him but nah that was too complicated, he could easily reject my call. I sat on the floor trying to figure out my next move but I really had no ideas, I was out of ideas. How could I be out of ideas! No! I cant give up now, I went straight to the house phone and dialed 646 my palms were sweating and Lord knows he could pick up. What I hate with international calls it always feels like the dialing is longer than usual, I don't know why but my head wanted me to hang up "Bremer residents hello " Me"Hello is Mr Bremner there?" Lady"Thandi? its me Sarah " yhooo I wanted to die but my hand didn't let me put down the phone. Me"Yea, Is Skylar there?" Sarah"Yes they are in a meeting though, how is rehabilitation? Thandi he needs you to get better and your children need you too" Me"Rehab Uhm can I talk to them?" the line went quiet for sometime. "Dada " I just wanted to die, I think I was on speaker because I could hear the noise. Me"Hello" I could hear small giggles. Sarah "Say hello to mommy " they repeatedly kept on saying "nana and dada " I dropped the phone. Me"You're an idiot" but why would Sarah think I am in rehab? didn't Skylar tell them I left? or was he still hoping I'd come back? . I had all the right questions but no one to answer them,I was even questioning my own intentions towards my family . 

Sarah was watching Barney with her grandchildren, she was deep in thought about that call something was off. She rushed straight to the study with Blaine crawling right behind her, while Blair watched Barney with no care of her brother. Skylar"Mom we are busy" Sarah "Your father isn't suppose to be working" Mr Bremner just ignored the two and carried on working. Sarah"Thandi just called " Skylar looked at her with tears in his eyes, confused at why he was even crying for someone who left them for freedom or whatever she was seeking. Sarah"Tell me what happened" he stood up to pour himself a stiff one. Skylar "Its been Thandi and I mother" Sarah"She needs you Skylar" He ignored her. "Just call her back please " Skylar"What did she say" Sarah was left with two options admit Thandi just wanted her kids more than their father, or mend her son broken heart with lies. Sarah"She just said, She needs you now more than ever" She walked out after that telling the lie that could save them or keep apart. Skylar"She left me without any hesitation, Without a proper explanation. What would you do if you were me?" that question was difficult but the answer was clear as daylight. Mr Bremner"I would do it for my children" Skylar"You think she will come back" Mr Bremner"No but you need to remind her why she should"

The next morning I went for a jog, felt good to clear my mind with rock music blasting on my ears. I arrived at home and I saw Bells car parked on my drive way, I wasn't even expecting him. Me"Hey surprise" we both laughed. Bells "You look fresh" I twirled for him. Me"I wanted to a trip to Gods window before I leave for Soweto" Bells "Jabu invited you to the braai?" Me"No I wanted him to take me to the airport, I was planning to drive up later today " You could tell Bells was shocked. Bells"uyaphi?" Me"Hopefully New York, but depends if i get a flight" Bells"Papers sorted?" Me"Ewe , yinto ngathi awufuni ndihambe?" Bells"Akhonto but Skylar is back with Nina, Kopano told Jabu. hlala Thandiwe "

other things

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Friendship and other things Chapter 66

Chapter 66

If I could be given the opportunity to take one part of my past and erase it, I think well I know what I would take but what I chose scares me. I would go back to the day my mother gave birth to me, I would die or get stuck in her pelvis or whatever that kills babies. I don't I deserve to be alive,I stand for everything God hates about humans or at least what we have been told God is against. I always I say I died the day I was born, Does that make sense? I never became whole I don't remember laughing the way others do, I don't define happiness the way I should. I am hallow, I don't think am worthy of life or children. I am too dead, wait let me explain why I say that what led me to this.

A week ago*
I was on the phone with Sive, tomorrow my life and pictures will be on every sunday News publication and we would on our way to New York. Sive"I am proud of you" Me"That doesn't mean anything to me, I know you'll benefit from his fall too" Sive"Tee I am not a monster" Me"No monster has ever admitted to being one" We were at O.R Tambo waiting for our flight. Me"Don't call me again" I dropped the phone. Skylar"You're scaring me" Me"You're are too sweet" we kissed. Skylar"Thandi I am not an idiot" Me"I know" Skylar"Then whats with the private calls? your brother not attending the family event? Kaymo being your sister? Why can't you just talk?" Me"We are talking" Skylar"No Tee, I am talking you're just pretending to listen" I ignored his comment. Skylar "You're making us a duty and not a priority" that was true and I wasn't about to argue, on our way to New York he was on his phone work stuff. I was on my laptop looking at updates but nothing except those articles that make you want to buy the newspaper. We were media so I wasn't shocked when Bells sent me an email about the article, I just replied 'Can you guys be at Vaalbank on friday , the keys are with Jabu" I bought a house there after Tau and I officially broke up well when wait when I left him, I won't say ran away. The next day we arrived in New York at 22:45pm, Skylar has to leave for Washington . Me"I love you" we kissed and then I just gave him the biggest hug ever. Me"I am sorry for hurting you Skylar and I mean That, you don't deserve this" he smiled. Skylar"Babe I love you too, Tee should I be worried?" I kissed him. Me"You're too perfect " we got into the car and Skylar went to wait for a flight out to Washington. When we got to the apartment and the nannies took the kids to their nursery, I called booked myself a ticket to SA and I packed my things all of them from shoes to underwear to weaves. No trace of me was left at that place, I looked at the time 9:53 I hadn't slept and I didn't really mind I took out a note pad to write Skylar a letter.

Dear Skylar
I know I am a coward but I was born by one, so its probably genetic. I can't love you when I don't even know how to love myself, I am so empty it hurts not to feel anything. I don't want you to wake up one day and regret being with me, I dontwant my curse to burden my twins. I may not know love but I felt safe with you, please do me a favour. Never mention me to them, tell them I died while giving birth because that's how I have always felt. In your study you'll find divorce papers, I signed everything over to you. Thank you. p.s I am sorry

I went to kiss my twins and took a picture of them, I was in tears overwhelmed by my decision. I didn't even feel bad for leaving my kids behind, I hated myself so much for that. I didn't even bath, My flight was for 16:15 the staf helped with the bags and we left. Driver"Where too Mam'" Me"Jfk" I was crying like a mad man, but I wasn't about to change my mind. Every decision has a reason and mine was simple, I was meant to be alone. I slept with my brother more than once, my mother hated me, Luyanda left me, Kopano never fought for me and Skylar was never for me. Maybe my dreams were signs that I ignored or maybe I don't know but whatever it was my decision was final. On the plane the flight attendant kept on asking me if I was 'okay' so I decided to take a little nap.

OR Tambo was welcoming as always, I was beyond the word 'jet legged' I was drained. Flight from NYC to Johannesburg is plus minus 24 hours , I switched on my phone and I cried at the first text that came in 'Please come back' I hate myself for this one but pride wouldn't let me back down. "Thandiwe " I quickly wiped my tears but Jabu just held me too tight, I needed that hug. Jabu"Calm down" I just held on to him, we stood there until I stopped crying. We bought snacks for the road, I promised Jabu I will calm down. Jabu"Running away?" Me"Yea" Jabu"You'll regret it" I laughed. Me"I know" I played with my twins socks, I silently cried watching the road. Kept on falling asleep and waking up, "is he in jail" Jabu"Yes, his wife took off her clothes at some press conference they held for damage control " Me"Nambitha" Jabu"Yea, she had burn marks along with whip scars and to make it weird she hung herself later that day" I was astonished. Me"You're lying" that was all I could say. Jabu"Sunday and Monday were weird as hell for everyone in the country " Me"I am lost for words" How could Nambitha do that! How could she take her life! How could she be so stupid!. When you travel you pass those empty fields,you see your life flashing through your eyes and your innocence disappear.

Jabu"Tee wake up" Jabu"Babe" I opened my eyes. Me"You're too sweet" we went inside and everyone was already there, Bells Songezo and Thabang. Me"Ey" We hugged. Me"I need to bath" I could see they were shocked . Me"Thank you for being here" Bells "Friends do that"

I died the day my mother gave birth to me, the day I let men pay for sex, the day I had sex for a job, but I think I dug my grave the minute I left my twins but that's who I am. A coward, liar,mistake, unwanted,rape victim and a lonely Person. I guess my name is an irony "Thandiwe" hahaha, but who cares? I have me and at the end of the day I matter more. Me"Life goes on" I laughed at myself. Bells "Tee, we are waiting for you" Me"Okay" I stood up and looked myself in the mirror. Me"Who are you?" I never got to ask myself that question, maybe alot could have changed if I knew me. Me"You're a lost soul" I went back to my friends and the tears were gone, twins forgotten, Skylar put on hold. Bells"Welcome back" Me"Feels good to be back"


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Friendship and other things Chapter 65

Chapter 65

I remember this day like it was yesterday, my knee was stuck between the floor it was of wood. I think I was still 8, my father left me home without anyone to look after me but that's besides the point. Long story short I screamed my lungs out, until screaming and crying wasn't enough. I pulled my knee out so hard parts of the wood got in, I limped to estratweni and stopped the first car I saw to help me. Point is I have always depended on myself to do things for myself, Tau may be my brother but he isn't me and me matters more than anyone else.

Nambitha was in bed with Nate, they just had intercourse. Nate"You're quite sexy" Nambitha"You're falling inlove with damaged goods sir and I advice you not too" Its like that with them, cat and mouse that is. Nate"okay then let me use you for sex" Nambitha was taken back by what he said. Nate"You love complicating life" he went on top of her . Nate"I have business today, so I have to shower and leave you" Nambitha"Okay" they kissed. Nambitha"I might join you" she spanked his behind. Skylar"You're too naughty" Nambitha reached for her laptop, to check her email the one from Thandiwe immediately caught her eye. Nambitha"Thank you God" Tears were already on her cheeks, She reached for her phone to call her mother. Nambitha"Mama" She told her mother everything Thandiwe just sent her and what Thandiwe wanted them do. Mamakhe"He is the father of your child, noba wankenza ntoni Nana kodwa uAbonga will not grow up without a father" Nambitha"Ukhona Nate mama and uyandithanda" Mamakhe"Yakuthanda? akhona mnye umntu omithisa umntu otshatileyo! uzaba ngu monganeli la Tau! " Nambitha"Mam ..." Mamakhe"Rha ude ukhalele ubethwa! angakunyela base busweni for all I care and ndithe kuwe buyela kumyeni wakho or someone will replace you and ungumkanja wena, you cant afford that. You'll be left alone with a white man baby and no home because awubuyi kwam" Nambitha was just shocked, how could money make people so heart less? Abonga would need her to get a job, all she has is that degree with Tau as an enemy might as well forget it. Nate"Why were you crying" Nambitha"I miss my son" Nate"I would love to have a child but ey" awkward silence. Nate"funny how when you were pregnant I thought the baby was mine, hahaha but yeah you should go see him" Funny.

At the Morris house tension was on the roof, Yanga openly telling his father to go straight to hell. Me"Yanga" Yanga"I am not in the mood Thandiwe" Me" I know you angry" Yanga"did we not witness that guy beat you up in Varsity? I saw the bruises Tee, I hated how you depended on that guy" Me"yiyeke" Yanga"does tata know?" Me"No" Yanga" I won't sit here and play happy family, nothing confuses me than you being calm" My phone beeped it was a text from Nambitha 'I too scared but I will get you my hospital file but I can't help you" my heart sinked . Me"Excuse me" Yanga"Ndahamba mna, visit before you go back to New York" we hugged. I went to call Sive, I knew he still had the same number. I just prayed he could help me because I was too desperate, he wanted evidence and that wasn't even an issue. I told him to only get the article out, when I go back to New York. I didn't care what would happen to him really, I wanted him to know humiliation and pain. He needed to be humbled, at this point I felt it was my duty . Sive"Are you sure" Me"Yes, I trust you to give this to a vicious person" Sive"Thandiwe trust me" Me"I would rather not, anyway thank you I will call before I leave" I was trembling with fear, what was I doing? was I even sure? what about my father? I was overwhelmed with emotion. Tau"Little sister"

I jumped up because I was in deep thought and I hate people who sneak up. Tau"I won't hurt you! relax" I laughed. Me"You don't scare me" Tau"But I should" he grabbed my arm and sprained my arm. Tau"Still not scared" Me"Mmmm nope" I was in pain though. Tau"Stay away from my wife, or I will kill you myself and deliver your head to your husband"

Yea I was scared

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