
Last kiss: Our mistakes Chapter 24
"Its so funny how you have sensation of pain around your chest when you're emotionally broken."Unknown
You know when you breathe fresh air and surround yourself with new people, you learn a few things about yourself. You get to look at your life through a strangers eyes and laugh at how wrong they are about you and how crazy some intentions are but most of all your level of tolerance. I don't love Phiwe at least not the way I want too, not the way he wants me too. He was speaking marriage and I was imagining Gcobani during sex, Olwethu's words were eating me up but I needed the money and he knew I didn't love him, at least I think he did. The signs were there and but then again I was being a great actress, could have fooled myself too. My last day I woke up with a call from my parents.
Me"Molweni"
Mom"Ubuya nini na?"
Me"Soon, nandi khumbula?"
They both laugh and I smiled like they could see me.
Tata"Ewe khabuye, woyika your results"
Laughter turned into tears, everything came creeping back like a thief in the night.
Me"Ewe"
Mama"Hay tshini, we saw you study. You tried mtanam and regardless of the outcome thina we are proud of you"
I wasn't ready to just admit to my parents that I didn't want to disappoint them, I'd be the first one to fail, suddenly I wanted them to hug me and tell me everything will be fine.
Me"I don't want to fail"
Mom"Then maybe you didn't, but whatever happens sikhona thina. No one else matters, they don't know your struggles, the amount of times you screamed because you get a sum right"
Dad"Ungakhali, sobona nge mini yephepha"
That day I spent the whole day in bed, Phiwe left with his friends and I needed him to be gone so I can cry myself to sleep.
Me"Molweni"
Mom"Ubuya nini na?"
Me"Soon, nandi khumbula?"
They both laugh and I smiled like they could see me.
Tata"Ewe khabuye, woyika your results"
Laughter turned into tears, everything came creeping back like a thief in the night.
Me"Ewe"
Mama"Hay tshini, we saw you study. You tried mtanam and regardless of the outcome thina we are proud of you"
I wasn't ready to just admit to my parents that I didn't want to disappoint them, I'd be the first one to fail, suddenly I wanted them to hug me and tell me everything will be fine.
Me"I don't want to fail"
Mom"Then maybe you didn't, but whatever happens sikhona thina. No one else matters, they don't know your struggles, the amount of times you screamed because you get a sum right"
Dad"Ungakhali, sobona nge mini yephepha"
That day I spent the whole day in bed, Phiwe left with his friends and I needed him to be gone so I can cry myself to sleep.
I went back to PE on the 6th the next day I would be getting my results, my parents didn't say much but their faces were speaking in volumes. I got a call from private number.
"Phuma"
I wore my uggs his hoodie because it was quite cold. I told my parents I am going for a walk, Gcobani was standing right outside my house.
Me"Hey"
Gcobani"Awufuni chips?ndiyothenga umbane"
I nodded and we walked in silence, he just held my hand which bothered me a little.
Me"I have a boyfriend"
Gcobani"I know, I have seen the pictures"
Me"Then why are you holding my hand?"
Gcobani"Because you need assurance, I still love you"
Me"Don't do that please, make it seem like we are cool"
Gcobani"I don't want you back"
ouch
Gcobani"Sanele says ukhala gqithi, he asked me to check up on you"
Me"I don't need your pity"
Gcobani"Khathule Fey"
Me"Okay"
We bought the electricity and then my chips, he walked me home.
Gcobani"Congratulations"
Me"Entweni"
Gcobani"We both know you passed, Good night my Spider monkey"
He kissed my forehead and left, I wanted Phiwe to have this effect on me. Or maybe he could when given the chance.
"Phuma"
I wore my uggs his hoodie because it was quite cold. I told my parents I am going for a walk, Gcobani was standing right outside my house.
Me"Hey"
Gcobani"Awufuni chips?ndiyothenga umbane"
I nodded and we walked in silence, he just held my hand which bothered me a little.
Me"I have a boyfriend"
Gcobani"I know, I have seen the pictures"
Me"Then why are you holding my hand?"
Gcobani"Because you need assurance, I still love you"
Me"Don't do that please, make it seem like we are cool"
Gcobani"I don't want you back"
ouch
Gcobani"Sanele says ukhala gqithi, he asked me to check up on you"
Me"I don't need your pity"
Gcobani"Khathule Fey"
Me"Okay"
We bought the electricity and then my chips, he walked me home.
Gcobani"Congratulations"
Me"Entweni"
Gcobani"We both know you passed, Good night my Spider monkey"
He kissed my forehead and left, I wanted Phiwe to have this effect on me. Or maybe he could when given the chance.
I didn't sleep while everyone was fast asleep, I was on Facebook waiting for someone to tag but dololo. I accepted I failed. Around 6am my phone rang and I wiped my tears then cleared my throat.
Gcobani"I told you"
Me"Into?"
Gcoboni"Fezeka stop crying and tell Mthuzi no Thandi upase ngo D"
I laughed,I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Was overwhelmed, I ran to my parents.
Mama"Thank you God"
My father hugged me, I think him crying motivated my tears.
Mom"Braai"
Me"I already have plans"
we all laughed
Mom"I am so proud of you"
Me"Enkosi"
Gcobani"I told you"
Me"Into?"
Gcoboni"Fezeka stop crying and tell Mthuzi no Thandi upase ngo D"
I laughed,I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Was overwhelmed, I ran to my parents.
Mama"Thank you God"
My father hugged me, I think him crying motivated my tears.
Mom"Braai"
Me"I already have plans"
we all laughed
Mom"I am so proud of you"
Me"Enkosi"
Moments like these