Mzansi Stories : Life without my husband
Showing posts with label Life without my husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life without my husband. Show all posts

Sunday, August 23


Life without my husband Chapter 90

Chapter 90
Five years later
Someone once said "Everything has an ending" I have experienced the glory of hell, I have lost myself trying to find other people, I have been in more hospitals beds than anyone I know, I have lost and won battles, I cried, laughed, learned but most of all I have never ever given up!!. I can scream out loud and say "I survived Cancer", I have depression and I don't care about the stigma it comes with because I have it not the next person! I learned to walk up tall and not let circumstances define me or my family, I've lost material things and survived, my children have hated me for all the wrong reason but my love for them kept me going, I have watched the man I love play with my love like it was nothing!, I've had a miscarrage that I will never stop crying about because I honestly think it was unfair and that was my child. Regardless of all the pain, all the tears and heart throbbing moments I met the most amazing souls. My sister Lumka and her husband Kagiso, Zimkitha who I can say is my twin, Thato the strongest yet weakest person I've ever met, Kathy my rock who recently passed away but I am glad to have had such an amazing person in my life, Cwenga my nemesis hahaha, Bukho the most known unknown, Siyanda one of the sweetest guys I know obviously next to Khaya. If I could sit down and tell someone about my life, they would probably cry with me or hug me.
"Mama" Ntombi walked in with a smile on her face,Varsity looks good on her. First year Stellenbosch Biomedical Technology student, she was still with Mihlali which scared me a little because he was her Lonwabo but unlike me yena ingathi ebekwazi uzibamba and not let him walk over her, I guess we get stronger as generations get by. Me"Ndicela undinxibise" I gave her my shoes. Ntombi"Awusemhle MaRadebe" I smiled. Seth"Mama can I not be late?" My graduate, yes Setile wam ya graduate(er) namhlanje . I never said this out loud but Seth is the apple of my eye, I would do absolutely anything for him. Ntombi"Masambeni ke" Lonwabo,Thato and Cwenga were driving with Viwe.. Viwe my Wits graduate, I see Lonwabo in him although Lobsie would disagree. He came all the way from Pretoria to watch his brother graduate, he has a job now you know. Its funny how life goes, Viwe was suppose to be the worst part about Lobsie and I but kum he is everything and more. I would tell anyone willing to listen that Viwe is my son! and I love him,because we should never punish our children for their parents sins! never. We left for Nmmu, in the car they were playing my favorite song Birdy Terrible love hahahaThato and I use to love that song. Ntombi"Memories?" I nodded, as Ntombi drove I kept looking at them. Me"Ngaphandle kwethu, ninga lahlani! doesn't matter who will do what or whatever material things that will seem to matter. Unekamva,Viwe, Seth and Ntombi you'll always be our aliens" Seth looked at me. Me"Mbasa and Qhama will always be there for you, naxabe ngekho Milani and Mtimkulu will be your responsibility" I wasn't dying but my father always made Lumka and I value each other and till today I am nothing without Lumka. Ntombi"And Sanele" I smiled. Me"And Mvaba" We arrived at Nmmu and Unekamva was already there, she and Lesego got officially married with family around. I looked at her stomach and laughed, she looked so cute yet so grown. Me"Nifike nini?" we hugged. Une"Yesterday,qha bendi gula so we couldn't go eKabega" She hugged Ntombi. Me"Anisebahle" Ntombi whispered to Une"She is weird today" They both laughed, eventually everyone joined us. Mbasa"We have the posters" we took photographs, Thato and I were remiscing and I think Lobsie and Cwenga were having a moment too.
After the ceremony we all went outside, we took more pictures with Seth. Lonwabo"This is us" he held my hand and I got that warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy,my palms still sweat when he holds my hand. Me"I love us Lonwabo" he laughed. Lonwabo"Remember Viwe crying because he thought we didn't love him? Seth choosing Lolo over us? Une getting lost at Canal walk hahaha or the time Ntombi cried because she felt alone. Now look at them, you've done a great job MaRadebe" I smiled. Me"Enkosi Gaba wam" We all went back to Kabega, the girls dished for everyone while we were chatting. Thato"I found something, we were so young pha" she took out a picture of the four of us, we were at the beach . Me"Yhuu hay Thato!" I felt tears creepin. "I cannot imagine my life without you! you have been there when running was an option, when giving up seemed easy! Cwenga allowed me to invade your privacy and sleep on your side of the bed countless times, you two practically adopted my children when I was falling apart! not once did you make me feel like a burden, although I was one!. I don't know how my life would have been, if azange ndize eBhayi and I don't want to know. God gave me nina, sometimes I wanted to kill you but I could not because Cwenga would say "Hardship doesn't define us", words could never describe my love for nina nonke and I dont want too because "the best stories are the ones with countless versions" that's my love for you" Cwenga stood up to hug me. Lonwabo"She always steals the show hahaha " Thato and I just looked at each other nodding,we could speak to each other without saying a word yet it would be the funniest conversations. "Sorry to interrupt,but ndicela unikhupha" We agreed after eating singahamba. We had lunch, we laughed told stories,sharing jokes. Lonwabo"Singahamba ke" Cwenga stood up too. Thato"They are so excited hahaha", we also got up and followed Seth. Thato"Kuyiwaphi?" he laughed. Seth"Its a surprise" We all got in and left, he drove us to Summerstrand. Lonwabo"kakhona?" Seth just smiled, he parked in Kings beach. Thato"Hay Thixo!" Seth just smiled. Seth"Mama told me this story more than 10 times, I think its fair that you should relive it" silence just took over, think we all immediately went through memory lane. Me"Enkosi" thats all I could say, we got off and walked towards Cubana. Thato"Hahaha hay Seth" she held Cwenga's hand, he too was just as shocked. Seth left us and said we'll find him in the car. Cwenga"For old time sake?" we walked to the beach just to watch waves, my head on Lobsie's shoulder. Lonwabo"I love you" I removed my head to look at him. Me"I love you just as much" he kissed my forehead. Me"You are my forever" he smiled. Lonwabo"I'll always be yours"
Forever & Always
THE END**********
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Friday, August 21


Life without my husband Chapter 89

Chapter 89
I woke up and got dressed Lonwabo was still sleeping, I searched for my car keys until I found them. I woke up with the urge of visiting my parents, its been too long anyway seems like I forgot about them. I went to the nearest garage first for airtime and petrol, I also bought BB and some matches. After 2 hours of driving my phone rang, I ignored it because I already knew it was Lonwabo but it rang again this time I got curious and picked it up. Lonwabo"Uphi?" I told him. Lonwabo"Entle you are being so irresponsible right now" he dropped the phone and called again. Me"I'll sleep phaya, I'll see you guys kula veki uNtombi avula ngayo" I had to pack, find tenants for the house in Kabega and pack Ntombi's things too. Lonwabo"Entle zinto zakhe, you make decisions without consulting me and I thought we agreed Seth will take the house" Lonwabo acts like Seth is incapable of failing grade 12, like Seth has earned my house kodwa Viwe stayed a res but Seth gets a house? when did we become the Motsepe family? . Me"No akho Seth uzohlala pha yedwa, res! or whatever. Lonwabo stop what you doing, ukhetha Seth kuno Viwe qho! rather treat them as equals or uyeke because imbi nyani lento and its starting to show" When Lonwabo is wrong uvele athule. Me"Anyway I'll call when I arrive" I got to Comfivamba around 5pm which was later than I anticipated, so I went straight endlini called Lonwabo and slept. My alarm woke me up at half 6, I took a bath and then went straight to the grave yard. I cleaned ku MamQocwa kuqala and then cleaned elika Radebe, being there felt so odd .
Me"Yazi izolo I slept phaya endlini and it felt so weird, it was so empty quiet like it wasn't once a family home. I sat up thinking about mama shouting at Lumka and I for touching her pots, shouting at tata for not respecting her tiles hahaha. Remember how we use to watch you two fight about the smallest things but tata would just kiss you then ulibale. I honestly tried to raise the aliens with the same principles but I failed,I am one of the worst mothers this world has ever produced. You two made it look easy, from me trying to run away with Lulama and mama you told me to pack faster because you'd never stop me from being stupid! tata stalking Lumka because he wasn't ready to let her go. I remembered the day I was leaving for varsity, tata told anyone who would listen that I was leaving for PE to study Engineering. I
know I took so long to get that degree but I did!, and nothing hurts more than you not seeing me graduate! nothing hurts more than knowing I failed you over the years. Tata would say "Akho madoda dani eBhayi Nolhiza? ngu Lonwabo otheni loo", I laughed so hard even I saw la vase tatu' Jama gave to Mama for her birthday. I miss you so much! I wasn't ready to say igoodbye, God took you too soon! there moments when I wait for your call, mama to remind me ndithule washing or close the windows. I wanted you to see my children not just Seth, tata Milani looks so much like you! I wanted to be angry at you for leaving us! but I cannot" I stood up. Me"Maybe its time to accept akubuyelwa mva, stop dragging everything with me. I just thought I should say goodbye, and tell you I spent all those years in
varsity to start my a creche. Maybe its the worst thing I could ever do but I have to show my appreciation somehow to Mama and giving is what she and Lolo did best" Maybe I've been my own enemy all these years, maybe I just needed to just accept what I couldn't change and appreciate what I already have. Maybe I am the reason for all my problems, for Seth hating me, Lonwabo thinking he could walk all over me and maybe I've neglected Ntombi . 
I called Zimkitha while walking to my car, I
couldn't speak to Thato because she will over react and Kathy always say no but mostly because Zimkitha has known me longer. Zimkitha"Uphi… Everyone is leaving" I explained ndiphi and why. Zimkitha"Oh okay, ngoku ufuna uthini?" "I want to speak to Sindile" she screamed. Zimkitha"Goduka!!!
Don't start drama" I knew she would say that. Me"Khamamele! I was rude to Sindile and she didn't deserve it" andazi noba that was a sarcastic laugh na. Zimkitha"Hello Entle? uphambene? she took your husband and had a child with him" "Lonwabo wasn't forced to sleep with Sindile, mamela please ask Sthembiso if he doesn't know anyone with a background in teaching or whatever we need for a creche" Kathy handled the paperwork, we would use the house in Khayelitsha. Zimkitha"Entle sort yourself out and we will handle things, please do me a favor" I had no choice but to agree. Zimkitha"Can you go back to Ngozi? I'll book for you, if he says awuna nto then I'll relax" I agreed. Me"Thank you" we laughed. Zimkitha"Visit my mother too, she'll be delighted to see you"
I drove to Sindile's place with my apology well rehearsed and my arms were ready to hug her. I arrived there and the gate was locked so I decided to ukhwaza andiyazi kutheni kunga phendulwa. "bahamba" I turned around to look at who was talking. Me"Bayephi?" she laughed. Stranger"Yabambi into! before christmas walahla impahla zendoda yakhe, iphisa nganto yonke! izinyembezi! yhooo kwaku kubo ngalo mini" I nodded. Me"Enkosi mama"
No loose ends

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Tuesday, August 18


Life without my husband Chapter 88

Chapter 88
Me"Seth!!!" I followed him, he kept on running laughing glowing from the sunlight. Me"Seth!!!!!!" It felt like we were in a maze, each turn he got younger and the clothes he wore all had some sort of meaning. Seth"umzi watsha, umzi watsha… khangela phaya khangela phaya… umlilo umlilo… galela amanzi galela amanzi" he carried on singing, in each turn his voice was starting to disappear "Seth!!!" he was now crawling, I tried picking him up but he disappeared. Tata"Nolhiza" I looked up, we were in our old house kwi nursery ka Seth. Me"Tata nguwe" he wasn't looking at me, ndasuka emva kwakhe to see what he was looking at. There I was feeding Seth, I looked so different "Tata" he loved at the old Entle and laughed. Tata"talk to him, look for yourself kuye. He knows you better than anyone ngoba yena uyayazi kunjani ubayi nkedama" What did that even mean, old Entle started crying. Old Entle"Ndiya moyika" she handed Seth over to her father. Tata"Entle" he was looking at me. Tata"Vuthela amanxeba akudala kuqala" he handed sex to me. Me"What wounds?! Tata uthetha nganto" he started fading, the old me faded,Seth faded.

Entle running outside, she wasn't wearing anything. Cwenga"Cover her" Zimkitha followed with a blanket, she was hysterical . Thato"MaRadebe calm down" but she was fighting us of, screaming for Unekamva and Seth. Entle"Ndifuna abantwana bam!!! He took my children!!!" Kathy suggested we take her to Seth immediately. Bukho"No! dont" We all looked at him. Bukho"Lonwabo whats Entle's biggest fear?" I took her from Thato's arms and wrapped her with the blanket. Me"Ndim lo Bhungane! Ndim lo Ndlebe ntle zombini" she started crying again searching my eyes. Entle"Pls get me my children" Bukho signaled that he'll do it, she kept on whispering something like she was arguing with herself. Thato"Entle not again! awukwazi undenza lento" Zimkitha was even worse, she was begging her to fight this whatever was making her act up again. Cwenga"Lonwabo Entle needs traditional help, I know I never admit to such things but listen to her" I ignored him. Unekamva"Bhuti?" Entle's face lit up as soon as she heard Une's voice. Entle"I'm sorry! xolo mtanam! I was only 17, I didn't know ndizo kuthini but I wanted to raise you… I tried to see you but your grandparents made sure andizi kuwe, I worked hard kuyo yonke into yam for wena! ndifuna uthi xolo, I'm sorry that you never got a chance to be raised by me, for not fighting harder! for being weak! xolo for being happy and acting like you never existed that was cruel of me!… but I love you Nomahlubi" Seth, Ntombi and Viwe walked in, she went straight to Seth. Entle"I didn't bond with you not because I hated you, I didn't deserve a chance at motherhood . I tried Seth even when it seemed like I wasn't, Lolo offered to raise you because I wasn't coping not because I loved you any less! … the were days where I wanted to fetch you and just tell you everything but I couldn't, no child deserves a weak mother and I know you hate me most of the time I don't blame you. Just know, I never meant to hurt you or be like this.  I hate that I'm like this too but its who I am, It should never take my love away from you. And before ugxole ngondi caphukela, always love your siblings put all that hate you feel for me in loving them" She kissed their foreheads and went upstairs, Thato and I followed her.  Thato"Ulele" she was sleeping peacefully.

Depression or mental illness is so common in our family, like we hardly fuss about it anymore instead we watch and wait for our next clue. Lelethu on the other hand was frightened, or just emotionally overwheld. Thato"Take her to the kitchen umnike amanzi eswekile" I led her to the kitchen "Think I need to sleep ", nam without any hesitation I took her to her room. Lelethu"Will she be fine?" I nodded. Lelethu"Are you fine?" I wasn't but this wasn't about me. Me"only if you are" she stood up from the bed and kissed me. Me"I don't need your pity" she kissed me again, this time I responded. We stopped again, I looked at her and sat on the bed "tixa" that's all she said before taking off her jeans. Me"I've done this" she giggled "Nam but I like you" "tixa" I locked the door. Lelethu"Can I take off my own clothes" I nodded, I wanted to say no but I wasn't sure how to take off a bra . We sat on that bed naked in silence, she kept on looking at me and I kept on looking at her brown skin. Me"I don't know funeka ndithini" we both laughed.. Lelethu"Play any appropriate song on my phone, we'll stumble together. I'll tell you when I feel uncomfortable and you'll tell me when its in the right part" we both laughed again, she laid on her back and I tried to remember the stories Seth kept on telling me over the years about fingering. Me"Are you sure" she laughed covering her eyes then nodded, I got ontop of her and she flinched which scared me too. Lelethu"Uyabanda" I apologized and carried on kissing her nipples, she kept on moaning. Lelethu"Viwe" I looked at her and we kissed, between her and James Blunt in the background. Me"You're wet" be both giggled, she covered her face again I prepositioned myself and tried to penetrate her. Lelethu"Ouch" She bit her bottom lip. Me"Ndiyeke?" she said "no" I went in again keeping my strokes slow and shallow. Lelethu"Mmmm" I knew I was doing something right, I went in deeper and stopped for her reaction. Her legs were wrapped around my bum, each stroke was welcomed by amazing warmth. Me"Are you fine" she kissed me. Lelethu"I love you" I enjoyed that moment so much,looking at Lelethu and thinking I'm glad I waited.

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Thursday, August 13


Life without my husband Chapter 87

Chapter 87
"You look beautiful" she wiped my tears. Me"Pls give me a few minutes" Thato nodded. Me"Thato" She stood next to the door frame and shrugged like she already knew what I.wanted to ask. Thato"Its all up to you" She closed the door on her way out, I laugh at myself because five hours ago Lonwabo and I had a mother of all arguments now we about to renew our vows, I looked at the time 23:05 . Me"What am I doing" The craziest thing about this, is for once in a long time I was actually happy! how can stupidity feel so good? Lonwabo is my best mistake but tell that to my feet because they are ready to walk and never look back. "Entle" I thought I was hearing things for a second until Cwenga walked in and set on top of the bed. Me"He left? or is he dead?" we both laughed. Cwenga"Hahaha sudika, khalela nto?" I sat next to him. Me"I'm scared, We have been here before and he ripped my heart apart. Whats going to be different now? my biggest fear is letting him in kanti he will fuck me up as always, I am picking up after him and my age doesn't allow ezonto ngoku. We are old but we act like teenagers, I think thats why we all failed in our relationships none of us ever want to admit, or act our age ndiphumile kwe zonto" I stood up and looked at him. "she loved you yaz, more than you realized and all she ever wanted was your time. Not your money, not your cars not that big house but your time. And I'm sorry for being a bitch over the years but you took my husband away from me and watched my family suffer like it was nothing. You could have told us Cwenga we deserved answers but thats all in the past" he stood up and hugged me. Cwenga"I'm sorry" Zimkitha opened the door. Zimkitha"Khasuke wena" We both laughed. Cwenga"I'll walk you down the aisle" Zimkitha rolled her eyes. Zimkitha"Yazithanda nezinto" they argued for a good 10 minutes if not more, I love their relationship its weird actually because Cwenga treats Zimkitha like a little sister although he hides it but ke we all know bayavana. Me"Can we go?" I wore my shoes and we walked to the dining area but they decorated it and it looked amazing. Me"When?" she and Cwenga just smiled. Me"Thank you"
Thato"Makwenziwe kaloku" She was having the time of her life, well wine does that to people. Bukho"Yatsho lanto" we did this all wrong, Thato should have married Bukho, Zimkitha would have made sense with Cwenga "Entle" everyone was looking at me. Me"Uthini?" Viwe reminded us we have 20 minutes left before count down. Lonwabo"Entle go first" I smiled. Me"Please don't break my heart… again… we made promises to our parents and we've been failing at every attempt but here we stand with the aliens all grown up now. Lonwabo andiyazi ngoku, I know I'm suppose to be saying romantic things right now but my heart and mind are telling me to run as fast as I can but ndakuthanda for some stupid reason and I cannot imagine my life without you. In closing I'm moving back home" he kissed me and Ntombi couldn't hide her excitement. Lonwabo"Maybe thats the problem, we vowed to our parents not to each other. We made promises to them not to each other, I love you Maradebe you know this but we always clash somehow something has to go wrong and its probably the worst thing to put your children through. You gave me everything a man can only dream of, you made me cry,laugh,laugh but mostly love. Likhona somewhere Likhona ithemba…" Thato shouted "Likhona ithemba Lonwabo lwethu hahaha" Lobsie laughed. Lonwabo"Yes Thato Likhona, but whatever happens between us I cannot imagine my life without you… " 5 4 3 2 1 we just laughed. Cwenga"You may kiss your bride" Lonwabo and I kissed, Seth and Ntombi came to hug us. Lonwabo"So you two don't do hugs anymore" he was looking at Une and Viwe, Kathy was taking pictures of everyone. Thato"The dance kaloku" They played Photographs by Ed Sheeran, Siya dimmed the lights and a slide of all our pictures. Me"You guys where did you get the pictures?" Ntombi raised her hand. Lonwabo"Lets dance Mrs Skhosana" we just danced, everyone danced with their partners. Thato borrowed me from Lonwabo, she hugged me "Happy New Year" we sat on the chairs outside while everyone was partying ngaphakathi. Thato"You look beautiful " I beamed couldn't hide my glee. Me"Am I crazy? but ndamthanda and I cannot help it" she giggled. Thato"I remember when you moved in, you looked so beautiful and I knew on that day we will be best Friends forever. I remember the first time Lonwabo cheated on you, you cried so much I thought you'd commit suicide. You moved in with that guy after knowing him for a month, you fought with your father over that guy, you disowned half of us for Lonwabo, I never knew why! hell even your father didn't understand but I guess thats how we all knew it was love. It was so real it looked so wrong, and contrary to popular belief he loves you too. During your chemotherapy he cried qho, he would sit outside kwi parking lot esibhedlele and cry because he thought he was losing you. When you got admitted at St Anthony he wanted to visited Entle and I told him not to, he was your downfall or at least I thought so. We all dream of that type of love, some of us are never as lucky and mtchanam we may never say it out loud but we envy you guys.… hahaha I'm drunk masingene"
Siya"Happy New year" we hugged. Me"Happy New Year tatekhaya" Siya and Kathy were the best couple ever. Siya"3rd time is a charm?" Lonwabo came to join us. Me"Hopefully" I told him what Siya said. Lonwabo"khayeke hahaha, can I steal her?" I excused myself. Lonwabo"Wanted to tell you Ndakuthanda" He kissed my forehead. Me"Nam ndakuthanda, but ndoyika" I was really scared, Lonwabo has really hurt me over the years but Life without Lonwabo doesn't make sense. Lonwabo"Forever and Always, never forget that. Noba kwenzeka nto it will always be you and I"

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Wednesday, August 12


Life without my husband Chapter 86

Chapter 86
Cwenga arrived a day before everyone else, he came up with an idea that pissed me of but I liked the idea anyway because I am a hopeless romantic. "So you'll help me" we were outside next to the stables. Me"So let me get this straight, you ruined their marriage and you feel guilty now you want us to arrange a picnic for them?" he nodded, smiling at me. Cwenga"Awuzondithuka" as if I would miss that opportunity. Me"Haska! uyinja wena but for once wenze into eright" I never admitted how much it hurt me that Entle slept with Bukho, but finding out she was pregnant with his child that did hurt a lot . I can claim it hurts lets because it was before me but who the hell am I fooling? not to mention deep down he always loved her and would jump at the chance to be with her. Cwenga"Yandiva??!" I was startled. Me"Heh?…" he pinched my cheek "Listen are you sure uright? we can cancel everything, I mean it was just an idea" I started walking and he ran after me. Cwenga"Zimkitha" I stopped and looked at him. Me"What is it about Entle? I've known Entle since grade 1 and its always been about her, not jealous don't get me wrong but I would love to know yinto le ingaka? . Entle could watch you fall apart and get down on the ground cry with you, she could be down to her last cent but would sacrifice it for her children. You should have seen her when they took Unekamva from her, that was her first time losing it actually that was the day Entle stopped living for herself" I stood there reflecting, how could I be mad at her when she is always there for me. Cwenga"You're crying" I wiped my tears. "Yamthanda uBukho?" wait he thought I was crying for Bukho. Me"Rhaaaa sies! ndamcaphukela lomntu, not because of Entle but that short bastard is rude as hell but the dick is good but osile lanto leya " we both laughed. Cwenga"Hahaha you are so ghetto kanjani" him and Lonwabo always say that as if its a bad thing. Me"Kanti? I grew up in the ghetto, I am bound to be ghetto and you damn well know I love being ghetto" His drama with Thato aside, I actually prefer Cwenga kuno Lonwabo. Cwenga"Ngoku new husband ithini into?" we walked to the house laughing catching up. Me"Ngoku divorce final? " He nodded. Cwenga"Yea, she is leaving for Joburg after new year and I am moving in with Anelisa " its funny how things go, We were all married and happy well they were but andiyazi ngoku. We all look up to Entle and Lonwabo, guess it comes with age. Me"Stembiso has 4 children, sathanda uhamba sizifaka marrying freedom fighters hahaha" We were making plans that might fail for the sake of love, starting to think we all depends on their relationship to believe in the existence of love.
Thato and I were watching the Proteas while the kids were walking around "making new memories", we were drinking beer like we had no plans of driving later and thanks to Thato's mother Mvaba wasn't an issue because they offered to take him and Thando. Thato"Not comfortable uhamba ngaphandle komntanam" we both laughed . Me"I'll miss you yazi" we were sitting kwi Castle corner, the people next to us were trying to initiate the Mexican Wave. Thato"Lets do this!" we joined in, from then the band was going crazy playing good music. Thato"Hahaha I love PE" During the lunch break we called Kathy. Kathy"Where are you?? Siya and I are on our way" Thato and I exchanged looks. Thato"We are watching Cricket hahaha, We will drive down after the game" Siya was swearing at us. Me"Mamela thenga lanto yam nawe" Kathy was shouting, I always forget she is white. Siya"Ikhona MaRadebe" our weekend in Paarl was about to be awesome no doubt. Kathy"Entle can I make your year?" "Its done?" Because Kathy had a huge mouth, this was suppose to be a secret until everything was sorted. Me"Katherine!" she laughed then apologized. Me"A.a sho!" I hung up and Thato was staring at me. Me"Surprise, all in good time" After our win, made arrangements on who was leaving with who. Thato"Une you and your husband can drive together, hlambi he'll decide to pay ilobola" she laughed with Ntombi. Seth"Uhm so Bonga, Viwe, Lelethu and I?" Thato and I laughed at him. Bonga"Mama hahaha trust us" Thato took looked at the both of them. Me"Manzi is proof of our trust, and Viwe will savage Khaya's daughter" We decided Ntombi will go with Une and Lesedi, Viwe will drive Ntombi and Bonga kunye nam, and the rest will ride with Thato. Me"Safe trip everyone, no unnecessary stops!" I sent Zimkitha a text "Parked the white dress, andiyazi if izakulingana ke" she replied "just get your ass here" 
We arrived at exactly 2am and because of Viwe! he drives like a snail, We called Stembiso for directions and he sent his son who immediately caught Ntombi's attention. Me"Nonke nifuze uLonwabo asoze uve", We didn't sleep we spent the spoke kwade kwasa, we went to bath then Zimkitha took us on a tour. the farm was huge! from the cottages outside, the swimming pools, the stables, entertainment ground quad bikes and pain ball area, ngaphakathi they had a huge cellar and wine making equipment which obviously was our favorite part of the house. Thato"Stembiso can I move in?" it was really beautiful. Stembiso"Well you are always welcome, this place is empty during the year" Bukho arrived while we were having lunch, he was with his girlfriend. Zimkitha"My mistake, better late than never" they hugged. Bukho"My womb, awusemhle" these two were weird, on the surface it seemed like bayavana but trust me we all knew Zimkitha wanted to punch the fuck out of him. Lonwabo"Nihleliphi?" Thato raised her hand "Creche ibingeka phumi" everyone laughed. Bukho"Uzozicengezela because kukho iwine? you're better than that" Thato sipped her glass of white wine. Thato"You are late, sbali already allowed me to move in" Lonwabo kept on looking at me then at Bukho. Me"Uhm let me go check on the aliens" he stood up too. Lonwabo"I honestly tried but I cannot sit here and pretend this is normal" Zimkitha looked at Cwenga, Kathy stood next to Lonwabo. Kathy"Listen! you cheated and she cheated, why are you giving her a hard time? honestly tell us because we are all trying to figure it you"he looked at me then at Kathy. Lonwabo"Ask her" I shrugged. Cwenga"Sibadala for lento, You two follow me!" We walked behind him, he led us to the lake. Cwenga"This is your opportunity to talk, it always works in the movies make it work nalapha" He walked away. Lonwabo"What happens now?"
The million dollar question

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Friday, August 7


Life without my husband Chapter 85

Chapter 85

My neighbor was walking his dogs when he stopped at my gate, white people are naturally weird but not in a bad way. "I heard the noise" she walked to me and gave me her hand, I refused it just sat there waiting for Lonwabo to come back with my children. Une"Mama" she spoke to my neighbor whose name I don't know but I know their dog is always barking, after she left Une closed the gate and walked up to me. Une"Phakama Mama" she tried to lift me up. Une"Entle! phakama!" She forced me up again, I stood up we walked to the house. Une"Ina" she gave me a bottle of water, I drank it watching her taking her car keys.  Une"Masambe Mama, baphi ooNtombi?" she sat me down helping me wear my uggies then took my jacket helped me wear it. Me"Siyaphi" she didn't answer, she left and came back after a while with frozen mixed veg packet wayibaka entloko. Me"Yabanda lento" she ignored me, she took the usb then my bag and hers. Une"Masambe Mama" she helped me up, we went to Mercantile Hospital to have my head checked out. Une told the doctor my medical history like I was incapable of speaking, he examined me, I got pills and we left. I decided to tell her everything, she was staring at me probably shocked by her siblings exiting. Une"Its Christmas, we will deal with everything else after that. Everything will be fine again, its just a matter of time" In the car she played Elton John Bennie and the Jets, I smiled because Zimkitha and I's friendship would be a lie if any of us would forget that song. Me"Yazi Tamkhulu wakho played this song qho xayezo ndibetha, its a fun song so you forget the pain and focus on the beat" we were laughing and I liked that, a part of me didn't care about everything else that was happening. We went to get fetch her husband at the guest house, then went to Spar luckily it was opened so we bought the snacks and things to make dessert.  We left for Kabega, Don't stop believing by Journey played next. Me"Volume" we all sang along surprised the husband also knew the song. On our drive way Thato's car was there, she had her own key but was surprised to see her there. We went inside and Mvaba was watching Sophia the first crawling around the table, Lesedi followed after Une and I went straight to the kitchen.
Me"Wapheka kwam?" she laughed but she was actually crying. Thato"Why didn't you tell me? I am angry at you! I never lie to you never Entle but you did, so I need to know why" she sat on the kitchen counter. Me"I slept with Bukho" I opened the fridge avoiding eye contact, I took out the tomatoes and cucumber.  Me"Before Zimkitha, remember when I got admitted at St anthony ngokuya and the baby Esihle terminated was Bukho's child" she went quiet for sometime then randomly shouted "Hay Entle! Suxoka! Yhooo" I wanted to laugh . Thato"Okay lets say I forgive 65% of you because you kept another secret from me" we both laughed. Me"But in my defense, you got me arrested for assault bendizoku xelela njani?" I told her everything Bukho said namhlanje. Thato"Hay mtshanam! you have the sweetest honey point hands down " We made our Christmas lunch. Me"Baphi ooThando?" she laughed. Thato"Bonga is with Seth eroomini and Ntombi took Thando to the park phangakwa KFC" I was confused for a second and I think she noticed it too . Thato"Lonwabo dropped them off pha, Seth told me about the fight and how he thinks you need me. So yeah ndaza kenam" I ran out of the kitchen and knocked on his door just incase, when he opened I gave him the biggest hug. Me"Enk.…osi" I just hugged him for a while crying. Seth"I can't breathe" I moved laughing. Seth"I hate it xa ukhala" I wiped my tears and he smiled. Seth"Sorry we scared you, but didn't want Ntombi to see you laweyi" I nodded . Me"Uphi Lonwabo? " he shrugged. Seth"Probably with Bonga's father, but myeke Mama just let him calm down" The day went on, we had our food watching a movie. Thato and the children slept over, I waited for Lonwabo but khange afike.
The next morning we had cricket tickets, Une's husband tagged along. Viwe was meeting us there, we drove to there Lesedi drove Thato and I we had to question his intentions but all failed because he was a great guy . Thato"Isn't Kamva graduating next year?" for a minute I forgot that, Une was an ancestor in University changing courses . Me"Is she still studying Journalism? " they both laughed. Lesedi"Dip in Interior design and yes she is graduating" my phone rang it was a private number. Me"Hello" it was a pocket dial because I kept on saying hello but no answer, I dropped the phone. After 20 minutes a text from Bukho came "You heard that? he forgave me not wena, yeka Lobsie because he will never love you the way you want him to" I got another text but this time Lonwabo "We need to speak, I'll see you in Paarl and cela uxelele Ntombi I said 'the latter' she will understand. Enjoy the Test."


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Thursday, August 6


Life without my husband Chapter 84


"Lonwabo" he didn't say anything just cuddled up behind me and I felt weird, I don't know why but it felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil. You know sex should bring you together but kum it just made me feel empty , suddenly everything that has ever happened to us crawled up nothing like before this time I just felt filthy. "I slept with Bukho" he slowly moved his hand away from my chest but I held it, he was trembling fuming with anger, every breathe he took was louder than the other "Cwenga walked in on us" He pulled his hand and got out of bed, I sat up looking at him as he paced around the room naked. Lonwabo"Nini?" I dont know why but for once, I was actually hurting Lonwabo and that felt good! A smile crept up on my face but I quickly changed to my polka face. Lonwabo"hamba before ndikonzakalise" I laughed so loud without any care of waking up the children which was very unlike me. Me"once Lonwabo" he came towards me and I flinched. Lonwabo"so that makes it fine? You fuck my best friend once and its fine! Thetha man" he dragged me out of the bed so fast I knocked my head against the door frame. Lonwabo"undenza isibhanxa mos! You… hey mani! Entle lale no Bukho?" I held my head and showed him the blood, he came towards me again I bumped my head because I was trying to move away from him. Me"You slept with Sindile" Last kicks of a dying horse. Lonwabo"I want the whole story or ndizoku betha unye Entle undicaphukele" I sat there staring at him, trying to think where do I start. Lonwabo"You cheated on me with Khaya remember? I forgave you, after that you slept with Lulama and I forgave you Entle! but my best friend … " he slapped me and I screamed. Me"sorry" He stood up. Lonwabo"This is what we do Entle! you fuck up I fix it, I fuck up and the whole world hates me! you slept with my best Friend! and you didn't even feel guilty about it!" he laughed "St Anthony" I nodded. Lonwabo"That wasn't my child" I nodded again. Lonwabo"You won, I am done with you"
Cwenga"She is my daughter" he randomly said, we were watching A Christmas Kiss those predictable Christmas movies. Me"Ubani?" he paused for a second, staring at me for the longest time. "Bonga" I laughed "Biological daughter Thato" I looked at him, waiting for the punchline kule joke but I guess I was the joke. Me"Njani?" thats all I could say, yet I wanted to grab a knife and stab him. Cwenga"One night stand that went wrong, it was way before you bendino Xoli that time. We were losing Athi and she didn't want Bonga, I could not let my daughter grow up like that " I switched off the tv and then went to switch off the lights. Me"I don't want to see you because uzondi hlanyisa! Who are those people" I stood next to the door listening to him. "She is Bonga's mother and Lunga is my cousin, Thato you were never going to accept her if buyazi inyani! and Entle overhead Lonwabo nam, that day at the hospital after Athi's funeral… She promised to keep my secret if I keep eyakhe" betrayal cuts deep, but its deeper when it comes from the people you love. Me"You threw Sisipho at me, I accepted and Cwenga you knew that was hard for me but I accepted her! You took Athi from me and I eventually forgave you dammit! Bonga that isn't fair! I lost my son and you saw that as an opportunity to get your way? You lied to me countless times and I gave you a chance to be honest nam! Azange Cwenga, I have never cheated on you, I have never not stroked your ego when you doubted yourself! every fucken day I cried because I couldn't give you a child and you took advantage Cwenga" my phone rang from a distance. Cwenga"They were there before you…" I grabbed the pot plant I put my hand on earlier and threw it at him I obviously missed because it was dark. "You could have told! you should have told me! your family treated me amasimba and I took it because I felt like less of a woman, I risked my life with Mvaba just to give you a heir ngoba ndakuthanda Cwenga! … You damaged me, took advantage of my weaknesses and you dragged everything I ever felt for you out of my system namhlanje" I switched on the light and I went to my phone which was ringing. Me"Hello" she gasped for air. Entle"I need you" this bitch is delusional. Me"I needed you 17 years ago" I threw the phone at Cwenga and took my car keys. Me"I am broken nguwe" I left him there. 
After he left I called Thato but judging by her answer Cwenga told her everything, I got up took shower and after that I took two adcodols "Is Ntombi mine?" I turned around looked at my crying husband. Lonwabo"Entle ndabuza!!!" Ntombi looks like him! Ntombi is the female version of Lonwabo hence the name Ntombikayise. Me"Really Lonwabo? I am not a whore" he laughed . Lonwabo"I want a DNA test!… Fuck Entle Bukho? " He was shouting louder now. Me"You were not there! everyone visited! everyone but you Lonwabo! Test them but I know and nawe yayazi they are your children" He was staring at me. Me"Its Christmas" I walked towards the door. Me"Cela uphuma" he opened the door not breaking eye contact, I walked out in the passage I could hear music coming from Seth's room, Une's lights were still off she can sleep through a Tsunami. The tv was on I knew Ntombi was awake and judging by the sobbing she heard everything. Me"Can I sit next to you?" she ignored me as expected . Me"I am listening" she laid her head on my lap. Ntombi"Taka Bano mama? he is my father? " I kissed her forehead. Me"Lonwabo is your father" I told her to trust me, adults fight all the time. Ntombi"Will we ever be normal?" She moved her head I noticed she was crying. Me"I pray so baby I really do" I kissed her forehead and excused myself, I had to call Bukho. He picked up after the second attempt of calling him, which I understood it was 04:50 am. Bukho"Hey" it felt like everything was falling apart and honestly it was about to get worse. Me"Lonwabo knows" I dropped the phone, I had at least warned him I sat on the stoep trying to figure out everything but I had no answers. My message tone interrupted my brainstorming or whatever I was attempting. "You deserve better, I always tell you this and maybe this is a sign. I don't regret what we did, I know awundithandi not the way endifunayo mna but I am willing to make you mine" I looked up and Lonwabo stood there. Lonwabo"We are leaving" Seth and Ntombi followed behind him. Me"Don't use them to win our fight! thats unfair Lonwabo" Seth walked pass me holding Ntombi's hand. Me"Lonwabo abantwana bam!!!" He got in the car and left, I ran behind it until I couldn't. Me"Lonwabo" I just sat on the drive away and cried because at that very moment, everything I ever loved just slipped right out of my hands and all I could do was watch.
His Wrath

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Wednesday, August 5


Life without my husband CHAPTER 83 (PREVIEW / TEASER)


"Lonwabo" he didn't say anything just cuddled up behind me and I felt weird, I don't know why but it felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil. You know sex should bring you together but kum it just made me feel empty , suddenly everything that has ever happened to us crawled up nothing like before this time I just felt filthy. "I slept with Bukho" he slowly moved his hand away from my chest but I held it, he was trembling fuming with anger, every breathe he took was louder than the other "Cwenga walked in on us" He pulled his hand and got out of bed, I sat up looking at him as he paced around the room naked. Lonwabo"Nini?" I dont know why but for once, I was actually hurting Lonwabo and that felt good! A smile crept up on my face but I quickly changed to my polka face. Lonwabo"hamba before ndikonzakalise" I laughed so loud without any care of waking up the children which was very unlike me. Me"once Lonwabo" he came towards me and I flinched. Lonwabo"so that makes it fine? You fuck my best friend once and its fine! Thetha man" he dragged me out of the bed so fast I knocked my head against the door frame. Lonwabo"undenza isibhanxa mos! You… hey mani! Entle lale no Bukho?" I held my head and showed him the blood, he came towards me again
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Life without my husband Chapter 83

Chapter 83

Me"Khame ndiyeza" I took my phone and I went outside, I cannot stand threats . I called him and he answered after the first ring "Masinga qhelani" I said before he could say anything else. Me"Don't annoy me! not the day before kuzalwe uYesu!!! rha!" that time I was scared as hell but I told myself I wasn't about to let Cwenga ruin my life. Cwenga"What if they find out?" I was irritated . Me"Usuke ubeyi kaka yomntu sometimes! how will they find out? Do they even suspect anything? no ngoku yinto enye Cwenga?" I heard the door open "Friend I love you and listen, tell Bonga's biological mother all you want are boundaries and that might just fix everything. Now stop being an ass and focus on important things" Lonwabo stood next to me. Cwenga"Entle" I laughed again this time louder. Me"Sana! yeka lonto! Lonwabo ufuna eyakhe ifull meal, anyway I'll probably see you in Paarl ndizoku betha nge mpama " I hung up and looked at Lobsie. Me"Tata wants us to baby sit Mvaba hahaha" he smiled. Lonwabo"Hahaha asoze yakhala lantwana, Masambe" he held my hand sayangase motweni. Me"Siyapha?" he opened the door for me and I got in the car he closed the door, wajikela wavula kwelakhe icala waqhuba sahamba. Lonwabo"Ufuna siyephi?" I looked at what I was wearing. Me"Lets go back nditshintshe izihlangu" he laughed. Lonwabo"Been married to you long enough to know izihlangu kule moto" siyesaya eZanzibar. Lonwabo"Search for shoes aphemva, I'll be inside" he kissed me, waphuma emotweni. I found heels heels phantsi kwe mphahla ebootini, I wore them then locked the car. I sent Zimkitha a text "Think I will sleep with my husband tonight"

I won't lie it felt good to be out, although Lonwabo and I were part of the 20% endala ebantwaneni but I danced like a 20 year old while my husband sat and watched. The dj dropped Till the morning, I looked at Lonwabo and we both laughed. Me"Uyeva" he nodded, that was my song varsity days and he hated how I abused that song. We left Zanzibar around 12 and went to Patidos in New bright, I kept on looking at him.  Lonwabo"Having fun?" I nodded. Me"You know I'll eventually throw up as always" we both laughed.  Lonwabo"Its your car so yenza" There was no parking kugcwele everywhere. Lonwabo"Siphume or sithini?" I wanted to be with him but I was really tired. Me"Masigoduke, I miss my kids" I said whispering. Lonwabo"Nah tonight is about us, sobabona tomorrow let the aliens miss you for once" we got out of the car, we chilled with some guys he grew up with and their girlfriends who were Unekamva's age if not younger. Lonwabo"Uright?" I nodded. Me"Check your phone" I sent him a text 'I'm horny masambe'  he told his friends sahamba. Me"Hahaha I thought as much" we left for Kabega.

There is something about being drunk that motivates me, alcohol makes me kinky. I gave Lobsie head in the car! even I was shocked, he was enjoying it shoving my head while I gagged. When we got home we went straight to the room, I took off his shirt and he helped me take off my blouse. Me"Switch off the light" He kept quiet and stared at me for the longest time. Lonwabo"Entle" I started cryin, he took off my bra. I was trembling as he leaned down to kiss my collarbone, he moved to my scar and caressed it. Lonwabo"You are not your scars, ndakuthanda Entle and we wont make love in the dark" He wiped my tears. Lonwabo"Ndiyeke" I whispered "a.a"

HoneyPot open for business…
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Monday, August 3


Life without my husband chapter 82

Chapter 82

Me"Ngoku Zim wedding ntoza ntoza?" they were leaving for Cape Town tonight, well she was Thato and her family were staying longer. Thato"Kathy was your witness? you guys kunani usixelela?" she was giggling.  Zimkitha"Baby uyazi nawe, you both were going through somethings and my wedding didn't matter" I wanted to ask about Bukho but I opted to stay out of it andingeni ndawo. Me"Ngoku wena no Daddy kuhlalwa phi?" he was quite old, he was probably older than Mlungisi. Thato"Bukho yena? uthini ngabantwana" but obviously Thato wasn't me. Zimkitha"Tshomi yima ndikubalisele! I will never understand men andisayazi ngoku" she took out her phone and read a text. "I'll give you back your parental rights, mamela before you move to Paarl with him, before you introduce our children to him, before he touches you okay knowing you that part I shouldn't include but Zim before everything else. Ayazi umnyeni wakho my children are not looking for a replacement father! ndamdubula anye mna" I laughed the loudest. Thato"Hahaha Bukho is crazy!! hahaha imagine" Zimkitha was annoyed yena. Zimkitha"Uyadika Bukho and the craziest part, he told Bano to tell Sthembiso lento"  Thato and I were laughing . Thato"Ebezathi Kathy 'Haunted by your previous dick' hahaha ndamkhumbula kengoku" we ordered drinks and food . Me"Suqumba man hahaha! its not like Bukho owns a gun" I missed this being with these people, my people and they make me forget.  Thato"Yima wena! hayke Bonga's biological parents bandinyela hay kancinci! actually the father is just greatful ebona intombi yakhe, hence we decided to stay apha for Christmas. Izolo the mother calls me telling me abana kutya! where do I enter? no someone please tell me, 13 years yonke we raised Bonga never searched for them to ask for mali yokutya. Bonga wacenga tatakhe ke, now Cwenga took her grocery shopping" she was really annoyed nyani. Me"Are they still married?" they were not married, apparently Bonga's father married someone else and her mother yahlalisa has another child. Me"Bayeke wethu, this is for Bonga not her" I told them about the good times endlini yam. Zimkitha"Lonwabo ubuyile?" I honestly didn't know nam, but we were not sleeping together. Thato"Sindile yena Entle? she just accepted Lobsie breaking up with her? do you honestly believe that? " That's Thato for you. Me"I am not that dumb, and he left for Cape Town this morning kukho ingxaki endlini bathi ku qhekeziwe" We ate then left for Walmer, Zimkitha had a flight to catch.  Me"Ngoku New Year kuni?" we hugged.  Zimkitha"Yea, don't bring anything just yourselves" She hugged Thato. Me"Hahaha I cannot wait! tell Sthembiso less food more alcohol and andidlali" We said our goodbyes, I drove Thato to the Guest house . Thato"Ngoku did you tell them?" I ignored her. Thato"Kude kuthini Entle? kudala ndakwazi and I actually applaud you for not fighting this. You worked your ass off iminyaka eminitsi, let Lonwabo provide for his children naye" I got retrenched, not that I was hurt but I wasn't ready to stop working. Me"I cannot stand the thought of sitting at home and not doing anything" she laughed.  Thato"Then itya UIF yakho, spend time with your children" she got off the car. Thato"Or for once spoil yourself, do something you've always wanted to do. Stop trying to do whats best for everyone and be selfish for once, trust me its fun and you deserve to have fun"

Christmas Eve
My daughters and I were making supper, listening to John Legend. Viwe and Seth were playing Xbox and Lonwabo was working eroom(ini), Ntombi was telling us about Mihlali's father and how chilled he was. Me"Call him" I don't know if I was a cool mother or whatever but I wanted a relationship with my children and they had to know bangeza kum with anything. Ntombi"I am fine with just stalking him" Lonwabo laughed and we turned around to look at him. Lonwabo"Maradebe" he came to stand next to me. Ntombi"Don't kiss her at least not infront of us" Lonwabo and I but mostly me had this sexual tension, I just wanted to rip his clothes off but if we have sex that would mean we civil again and he doesn't the cookie not now. Une"Let a kid dish up and bounce" Lonwabo and I asked "uyaphi" at the sametime. Une"places but trust me ndizobuya" Lonwabo laughed.  Une"Yhuu Mama!!! you told him" I nodded. Lonwabo"Uyayazi andizovuma, but makaze yena ngomso"  Ntombi looked up "So Mihlali? Paarl? you know " I knew Lonwabo would decline. Me"If he wants to come" my phone vibrate, it was a text from Cwenga

"Think I should tell Thato what happened between us, dikiwe zi secrets.  I'll give you tonight, thetha no Lobsie"

Just like that
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Thursday, July 30


Life without my husband chapter 81

Chapter 81

Your first friends are always your siblings, doesn't matter what happens over the years or who you meet they will always know you better. For instance Viwe, Une and I knew where Ntombi was but we just decided to give her space, she needed to think its the least she can get after lanto. Wasn't sure about the directions but I found her school thanks to abantu abahlala next to the school, by the way that place looks like a cult but who am I to judge. I walked around until I found her sitting on one of the benches "Seriously you obsessed with this place" she didn't turn around "uhamba naba?" I sat next to her but facing the opposite direction . Me"Alone asixelanga" she nodded then laid her head on my shoulder "You know they worried right?" she whispered "yes I know " I didn't blame Ntombi she has been through so much in so little time. Ntombi"You should have told me… don't you think I deserved to know? I tell you everything but you keep secrets from me! since when do we keep secrets from each other Seth?... your hate for mama I supported you even when I didn't know why we hated her! you could have told me it was her fault, you denied me a chance to be angry at her" I laughed and she did too. Me"We never take responsibility, its always easy to blame her but babe we have a father and he should have protected us, not mama or Mbasa but our father" growing up you start realizing certain things. Ntombi"But Viwe and Bhuti were my parents, Mama cried almost everyday Seth! she stole my innocence! I needed her but you protected me nguwe who was there not them" she started crying, then suddenly it all made sense well not suddenly but at this moment, right now everything suddenly made sense. Me"She doesn't know how to, Mama doesn't know how to take care of us because she never got a chance to take care of herself. She is always trying to prove how sorry she is ku Unekamva, if its not Une then ngu Viwe she tries to fill the void his mother left or Tata because honestly Viwe no tata hardly talk. I think after wena something happened to her, after she had you nothing was the same and trust me she loves of but her love is always interrupted by something. Entle would die for us and I am not just saying that, without us she is nothing but she doesn't know how to love because Lolo well we all know that story. But mamela and I know ayikho lula but if you seek approval from Mama then you are wasting your time, do you little sis but always know she loves you and uzozi bonela nawe when you stop judging or blaming her for everything that goes wrong " I stood up . Me"Masambe, trust me everything will be fine" she didn't answer for a while. "what if I end up like her Seth?" She said. Me"Then you'll be the strongest woman I know but mostly an amazing mother" she finally stood up and we went to the car. Me"White people tendencies "

I don't know which made me happy, Ntombi being safe or Seth bringing her back to us. For once in a longtime it was just us, Lonwabo and I cooking for everyone bona behleli telling stories. Seth"Mama tell them where you met Tata please" Lonwabo and I smiled at each other. Me"eCubana in Summerstrand" Ntombi wasn't convinced.  Ntombi"So what you are trying to tell me is … uhm… Mama can dance?" Lonwabo argued with Ntombi for doubting my talents. Une"Dance off?  obvious Viwe you will be the Dj" everyone laughed.  Viwe"Two left feet but the ladies love me" he blew a kiss to Ntombi. Seth"Hay hay awuna girlfriend wena" Viwe took out his phone and made us keep quiet. "Hello" there was some fiddling,we started giggling.  Seth"Law of point hahaha!" I dished for everyone. Une"So what happens next year? not to kill the mood but I gots to know" Lonwabo held my hand. Seth"O'boy not this again" I laughed. Me"Ntombi and I will remain here, she loves it here honestly so do I" Lonwabo gave me a stare then looked at the aliens. Lonwabo"Remember the Bill Gates account?" they all looked confused but he carried on anyway "I decided to buy the house back and trust me i… " Ntombi jumped up "which house? my house? my childhood home, my house that house" Lobsie nodded, they all jumped up hugging each other "Thank you God" ohhh the keys.  Lonwabo"Hello can I finish … So now this is where responsibility comes in, we have to limit our spending until we can afford everything we once had or at least some of it. So umntu will earn mali ye petrol ngokwakhe" I looked at Ntombi.  Me"I am not ready to just pack up and play happy family again, we have been through a lot as a family but mna Entle I need Life without my husband just a little longer. But I promise everything will be fine and we will still have moments like these" Seth and Viwe were smiling.

 Une"Through the troubles , the fighting, endless drama … " "don't forget Dad dying and returning " we laughed "being accused of being gay" Viwe added. "Not forgetting being a father and dating the most beautiful girl " Seth said laughing. Ntombi"Wrecking yourself just to rediscover who you really are" She looked at me and smiled. Me"Or having the most amazing children and obviously husband" Lobsie kissed my cheek. Lonwabo"Through all the financial setbacks, being alive again hahaha but most of all having my aliens and being married to this ravishing young lady" the children laughed.  Une"Not sure about the young lady part, but through it all without you guys without you as my family nothing in this world would make sense. I love you fam"  Seth laughed. Seth"woah you forgot to say all the tears! Mamakho kaloku"

My family
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Tuesday, July 28


Life without my husband chapter 80

Chapter 80 
The morning after Cwenga and I were preparing ourselves for probably the worst day of our lives.  Me"They don't deserve to meet her"  I was honestly pissed off. "Its not about us Tee" he said. Me"Obviously bengasoze kum! Nako no tatakhe usokolise ufumaneka apha, she doesn't want to be found" I could tell he was annoyed "Thato" I looked at him. Cwenga"We found them, that's all that matters ukuba njani ayithethi lonto. I honestly expected you to understand them! but uyabagxeka wena, izolo you were crying for your son! we both know it's not easy to lose umntu omthandayo. Imagine giving up Mvaba or Thando! Give them a chance! I know you are angry but this is about Bonga not us" He helped me search for my car keys. Cwenga"Thato Joburg?" I didn't answer.  "Thato ndiyathetha" I was unemployed staying with my parents along with my two children . Me"I dont know Cwenga, I will call Kellie" my life wasn't suppose to be like this, I was suppose to be Thato Boloang! the Oliver Pope of the entertainment world . Cwenga"Just move back to Cape Town" he forgot to say 'ndiphinde ndizokunyela' . Me"Don't do that, move to Cape Town then what? you divorced me Cwenga when I needed you! Ngoku ufuna ubayi hero? a.a lets not get this twisted, I may let you have sex with me but iphelele apho. You ruined my life and for that I will always resent you" I took my bag . Cwenga"How Thato? as if you didn't ruin mine! You forget this qho, I never took Athi from you they did not mna. You knew utshata nam won't be easy but you married me, I blamed you for Athenkosi because you allowed me too! you knew uyagula umntana but you made us all believe he would survive now you are blaming me? njani? Thato take responsibility, You left Cape town ngokwakho not because of me" Wow. Me"I left Cape Town because andisenawe Cwenga!  I never liked that place but I adapted for wena! that house was empty, ubungekho but I adapted for wena. And I azange ndathi Athenkosi will survive but he wasn't suppose to die! not laweyi and you were never there but nonke nathatha umntana wam! you deprived me of his funeral Cwenga! and fuck your family nditshate nawe mna, you should have fought for me! you were never there wena, Bonga was your main priority you replaced Athi with her!" I stared at him for the longest time. Me"This is unhealthy" he sat on the bed. Cwenga"What happened to us? we were suppose to be sane, but lately all we do is fight and that is exhausting. Bonga will be doing her grade 12, let her stay with me uzohamba obviously alandele uSeth" we sat there in silence, Bonga walked in with Manzi  crawling behind her. Bonga"Mama cela unxibise lo, uvusa uMvaba pha" Cwenga scooped Manzi up. Me"Wear your jeans and the blue shirt not a dress" Cwenga laughed at us "Bobo your mom wants a twin akayazi times changed, but nxiba elohlobo" Bonga laughed at us. Bonga"You guys are more nervous than me" "and me" Thando was standing next to the door frame. Bonga"Let me go change ke" I went to check on Mvaba and Cwenga's mother, my parents slept over kwa Entle yet again. Me"Molweni mama" she smiled . Ma"Awusemhle Makoti" I love this lady.  Me"Enkosi Mama, unjani lo? he looks better kodwa" I kissed Mvaba's little hand. Ma"Sibongiseni ndifuna uthetha nawe, imbi lento yenu mntanam andiyi thandi tuu. Cwenga undixelela ngento eyenzeke izolo and my heart just broke, mtanam akuncedi ubane nqala it only holds you back" she held my hand. Ma"Losing a child doesn't mean forgetting about yena mntanam, cry as hard as you want too because that child was once your life and mntanam no one can judge you yeva? Bonga akafuni unilibala kodwa naye unelungelo lozazi, never doubt your parenting because you raised my grandchildren well. I am sorry about your son, I am sorry for not allowing you to say your goodbye but I am mostly sorry for losing you as uMakoti wam" That's all I ever wanted.

I wanted to go back to Cape Town, this place was filled with my inlaws and I needed a break from them. I had to get my husband the help he needs, everything was just too much and I had absolutely no idea how to fix it. "Sisi our order" Ntombi took the slip, we took our food and went back to Kabega. Ntombi"Sisi utheni?  pull over and breathe"  I ignored her ndadlala Sia, I could feel her eyes but I honestly could not care. Ntombi"Udlulile" I stopped the car and threw up, I sat there crying.  Ntombi"Bhuti andiyazi ndithini" she told Mbasa we were down the road. Ntombi"nanga amanzi" I wanted to tell her andifuni but the thought of Mbasa killing me in my sleep made me scared but disgusted. Me"he did it for you" I had to tell her, I had to tell someone. "he killed that crazy woman because of you" I sat there thinking about that night. Me"I helped him clean up, Cwenga, your father we all killed for you" The blood, her eyes staring blankly at me! I threw up again. Ntombi"who?" I saw Mbasa walking towards us. Me"Esihle" she sat there laughing, she started to cry then screamed. Ntombi"Wait… You.…called mama!" Mbasa just stood there for awhile. Ntombi"What did she do to me?" she begged her uncle for answers. Mbasa"she touched you …more than once! she made Seth watch! Ntombi I didn't want to kill her but she provoked me! it was a mistake, she wanted to torture Entle and she wasn't about to end it kuwe. I …i.. am sorry" "Wenzentoni Mbasa?" there stood Entle.

When secrets come out, when everything suddenly makes sense, you are bound to lose a few people.  Qhama confessing almost every night Mbasa strangles her, she just wanted him to get help without him getting arrested for murder. Cwenga realizing her is nothing without Thato but admitting she is better of without him, Bonga's parents wanting their daughter back. Bukho learning the hard way sometimes your children just need their mother more than any amount of money you could offer but Zimkitha getting remarried made him realize he once loved that girl, beyond arranged married but she gave up her life to build him a home. Mbasa's fear of losing his medical license and going to jail, Qhama not raising Milani and being pregnant behind bars. Entle feeling like she failed her brother, her daughter but mostly herself and Me? well I was responsible for each and every person's pain apha. But mostly my little girl's pain. Me"Its been 24 hours! our daughter is missing!" Thato and Zimkitha comforting Entle "We will find her" Lumka and Kagiso were driving around Rowlan Park and Greenbushes, Kathy and Siyanda went to Westering and Framesby, Viwe and Alwaba Lorraine and Sherwood but there was no sign of Ntombi. Seth"Can I borrow your car?" I gave him my keys. Entle"Lonwabo" she looked scared, and I couldn't do anything about it. Me"Somfumana" we all sat there waiting, waiting for answers or solutions. Anything that would lead us to Ntombi,everything was falling apart and we all had no plan of action. Thato"Parenthood" I looked up and nodded. Me"Thank you, we are nothing without you " Bukho laughed.  Bukho"Moments like these make you cherish your family" "and a bottle of wine" Entle said. Cwenga"Hahaha 4 bottles" Entle held my hand. Me"We will find her" she nodded. Entle"But don't make promises you cannot keep"

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Wednesday, July 22


Life without my husband chapter 79

Chapter 79

Mama and I finally got a chance to be alone and I had to use this opportunity to speak to her, but Aunt Lumka and Zimkitha were also hard to get rid off got worse when Kathy joined in. Me"I need to talk to my mother" that came out wrong but I was anxious. "Okay you can all stay but promise to be quiet" Lumka and Kathy both laughed while Aunt Kathy and mom nodded. Me"I am married " they all looked at me. Mama"You are what? nini? nabani?" she looked really confused. Me"Let me explain" suddenly they all stopped talking "I met him in grade 8 yena beku grade 9, yi cousin yetshomi yam that's how I knew him but we started dating casual when I was in grade 9. Ngoku yena waku grade 12 ndiku grade 11, long story short satshata" my mom had no expression "Unganya! How did you get married" aunt Lumka was pissed.  Me"I was afraid he would dump me when he gets to Varsity, so I suggested we get married ngoba wayendinike ne promise ring mos. Our friends supported us and we were inlove, we had everything figured out, we were happy our secret was safe and nothing mattered more than our love" I looked at Mama and she was giving me that 'kwathini kengoku' look so I carried on. Me"Problems started when I got to grade 12, but we sorted those things together and nothing had changed between us. Until my matric dance month came and he canceled, but we got over that but after that nothing was the same. He ignored my calls, he hardly sent good night texts, wake me up to study but him not coming home for the holidays was the worst. He assured me he wasn't checking qha school was hectic, I believed him because I know that guy and he would never hurt me. He was my friend,you know? he understood me! him and I had it all figured out, never did we plan fights though, we planned everything but the hard times. Think my biggest mistake was getting pregnant or probably believing he will be next to me when I do that abortion, but that was us. We plan the good times but never the bad, maybe that's why I wore his sweater that day to create an illusion of him being there" sigh "But the funniest part is, I cannot move on! I tried and I failed numerous times. He called this other day and said he is willing to move to Cape Town with me, tell his parents what we did and do right by me. Mama I am married and I had an abortion, I tried telling you more than one. I hate how I bring you pain, but I thought you should know that I am really sorry" I stood up. Kathy"Ngoku you are getting a divorce? " I smiled.  Me"Yes" Zimkitha smiled at my mom.  Zimkitha"Yaz your mother almost married tatakho, but she got scared. Talk to him, whoever he is. Ningaba ntwana, let him enjoy his life and if its meant to be uzobuya but nawe act your age, go dancing, drink, make stupid decisions but most importantly forget you are married.  Ude wena Unekamva uzazi you're ready to be a wife, until he knows he is ready to be a husband because mntanam he gave you an opportunity most of us didn't get . A chance to grow up! A chance to act your age, never to say WHAT IF I NEVER SAID YES most of us dream of that chance, and if ever you fix things with him then rejoice because the love of your life returned but if not cry! cry so hard and be sure ukhale wagqiba then never cry for him again" she hugged me. Kathy"And remember this, you matter more ! Don't let him be your reason for living" My mother and aunt looked at me. Mama"I won't lie ndikhubekile, kodwa ke kwemzekeli and I won't force you to tell Lulama uzozenzela when you are ready. I am disappointed that you couldn't come to me kwadala, but ndibulela lento uthethile keqha"

My mothers <3
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Tuesday, July 21


Life without my husband Chapter 78

Chapter 78

Sunday morning the family and I were driving to Bhofolo, to visit Athi's grave. Thato and I finally agreed on taking Bonga to her parents, well we found her father qha Bukho help us. In the car Thato was playing with Athi's jersey which I thought we got rid off, she was in trans and we were all invading her dream. Me"Feed your brother " Mvaba was crying so loud but Thato was playing with that jersey, hugging it, feeling it like it was normal or like Athi still wore it. Thando"Nah ndihluthi mna" Bonga and I exchanged looks then laughed together. Me"Not you tsh! " Bonga feed Mvaba andazi njani but he slept, when we got emangcwabeni Thato was still in her own world. Bonga"Mama" I told them to wait outside for us. Me"Thato don't do this not today" I pulled the jersey and she finally looked at me with burning eyes. Thato"Sifikile?" I nodded, she asked me to open emva. Me"I'll do it akhonto, Thando go with your mother" she stared at me for the longest time "really Cwenga? you'll take this from me too?" she walked away fuming.  Bonga"Is it my fault? or that we here? " It was both, Thato felt like she was losing too much at once. Me"The latter, but tell me why now? Did we do something to make you feel unwanted? "  as much as I didn't want to admit, I was beyond hurt. Bonga"That day when Mvaba needed blood, I wasn't a match I felt so useless! like tata that day reminded me I wasn't your child, Thando and Mvaba yes. Mna you took me somewhere because my parents didn't want me, you took me someone because you felt sorry for me" she looked at me "I want to know why they didn't want me, I kept Manzi at 16 and I would go through fire for my son. Why couldn't they? I want to know who I am! why am I Bonga but I wasn't good enough to keep? I cannot leave my life wondering what could have been!" Thando came to us running. "Tata kukho into ewrongo ngo Mama" I left them there and ran to Thato, Mvaba was laying on the ground crying while Thato was digging the grave with her hands. Me"Wenzanto!!!" she stopped and looked at me. Thato"I wasn't ready to switch off those things! You forced me!… You took my son from me and you said it was for the best! you buried him far from me!… I want my son! Ndifuna umntanam!" she started digging "Help!" she stood up and wanditsalela engcwabeni "I just want to see him… I need to hold him just one last ti…me I iii… can…t I wa… nt my son" she kept on digging until she couldn't anymore then cried louder. Me"Thato pl…" "Ndiyeke! … Pl…ease ndiyeke" I took Mvaba and watched as my wife got what I deprived her, a chance to grieve, a chance to come to terms with her loss but mostly a chance to say goodbye to her son our son "It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known. Stop blaming yourself, Thato it wasn't your fault" she didn't say anything just stood up and took the things we came with. Me"Thato" she stopped and looked at me, her eyes showed me something I've never seen Thato being vulnerable. Thato"Then why do we both blame me?" I couldn't answer because she was right, I blamed her and I always hated her for Athi being sick. Thato"I need this… please… leave me alone" Nothing hurts more than losing a child and sometimes when you let yourself admit you will never see them again, the pain gets worse but I hope it heals with time "okay" that's all I could say.

"Ndiyeke!" Mbasa was on top of me strangling the life out of me "Esihle" he was mumbling alot of things at once. Me"Ba…by" this happens almost every night, he loses it and starts to strangle me. Mbasa"Hamba apha" I tried to move him but his grip was tight. Me"Mba…sa" cough "Ndim… Qhama" I started kicking so he could wake up. Me"Taka … Mila" he opened his eyes not letting go of my neck, I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Mbasa"Qhama" he quickly let go jumped up and came back with a bottle of water, I took it and drank. Mbasa"Again?" I nodded. Mbasa"I'm sorry" I removed the blankets to show him my pee stain. Me"I actually wet myself" We both sat in silence, I stood up and took off my pj's ndasusa amasheet while he sat there. Mbasa"I think I need help" I looked at him, I feared my own husband, my high school sweetheart, my soul mate I was scared of him killing me in my sleep. Me"Uzobanjwa Mbasa! you will have to confess, I cannot be a single mother" I stood next to the mirror, looking at my bruises. Mbasa"What if I don't wake up? what if I lose you?" he came to stand next to me. Mbasa"I need help" I know I should allow him but I knew he killed by law I will also be charged then what happens to Milani?. Me"No! we will figure it out" he looked at my neck. Mbasa"I am sorry" we hugged "I think you should bath" we both laughed, he kissed me. Me"I love you" we kissed again. Mbasa"Hay hay, ufuna undenza nto?" he went down to kiss my tummy "I cannot believe we on our second one" I was exactly 5 weeks pregnant.  Me"Hahaha sudika mpa,should I run us a bath?" he nodded. Mbasa"You are beautiful yaz, I love you MamKhomazi" we took a bath, he went to check on Milani then came back. Mbasa"Still sleeping, Qhama can I ask you something?" I nodded. Mbasa"Are you scared of me?" I nervously smiled.  Me"No" he sat next to the tub. Mbasa"Give me your hand" He took my hand and he put it kwintliziyo yakhe. Mbasa"It beats for you, I will never harm you yeva?" I smiled "I'm scared, these dreams are getting worse and your neck looks bad Q. Let me get help, I promise you I will always be there for us" He kissed my forehead. Mbasa"We will make a plan, we always do right?" I nodded. "Thanda nyani mfazi wam, ndiyi shit mgaphandle kwakho yeva? Thanda nyani Qhama" we both laughed.  Me"Ghetto kanjani" I got out of the water. Mbasa"Masenze mtchanam" He spanked me. Me"Andifuni" I wish we could never go back to sleep.

Monday morning mgidi vibes were still happening, we had to fetch random people from Greenbushes and France to come eat the meat basele notywala. Seth"Sihamba nini?" we were going to Greenacres just the two of us. Me"Waiting for this place to be clean" he looked so adorable in his clothes. Seth"Enkosi mama" I smiled.  Me"reward me nge results zakho zika Matric" he laughed. Seth"Hahaha don't even remind me" we eventually left because Dabawo said they will be fine. Seth"I need to buy Manzi impahla zeChristmas" I looked at him trying to hide my smile. Me"We already bought him clothes njena" he laughed.  Seth"Bonga and I decided somthengela, we both need to do this" he kept on looking at him.  Me"You guys are best thing about me" he smiled "That's why I want Manzi to know I am his father, you raised us with no plan and often bungu tata and Mama.  Trust me we appreciate you too" I think I am dying Seth is never nice. Me"Ufuna ntoni?" He laughed.  Seth"Hahaha We all agreed, whatever you decide divorce wise we leave with you. Viwe included. So Nolhiza don't use us as an excuse to stay married ke"

They are growing up

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Saturday, July 18


Life without my husband chapter 77+

Chapter 77+

Watching from a distance Seth ehleli no Bonga kwi khukho and Manzi between them, I couldn't get close to him kodwa bendifuna umfaka eyona hug. "Reminds you of us" andazi ndadiphi esololuka. Me"I was in primary usoluka wena, how can it remind me of us?" we both laughed.  Lonwabo"Akusemhle" unyanisile ke apho, I went all out because I knew my enemies will be gathered in one place had to show them. Me"Enkosi" we stood there in silence, he held my hands. Lonwabo"Can we talk?" I nodded. Lonwabo"But promise to listen, don't shout just listen" we took a walk, he wasn't saying anything so nam I kept quiet until we stopped near BP garage.  Lonwabo"Tell me what happened when I went ended up in hospital" He sat on the pavement not making eye contact. Me"Why?" I stood between his legs and he held my hands.  Lonwabo"Please tell me, everything" I cleared my throat. Me"You had a trip to London, it was weeks after my fathers funeral andazi what happened on the way but wabakwi accident and when you finally woke up bungasazi. Seth and I but you remembered everyone else, you spoke to Alwaba more than mna, Ntombi was a new born " he looked up with tears in his eyes. Lonwabo"Then what? thetha yonke" This conversation was opening wounds I thought healed. Me"I got admitted yet again, we fought Lonwabo a lot mna nawe and I always suffered more. You left me with 4 children to raise alone and pretend to be dead, they blamed me for your "death" everyone Lonwabo! I was in and out of hospital, you left me when I needed you most. I wasn't over my father passing away and you pilled up kwingxaki zam, your mother taking me to social workers, loans to keep a house that I couldn't afford! You were not there when I needed you Lonwabo, I cried every night praying to God akubuyise and when you returned you Lonwabo begged me to take you back! but you knew unoMntana! you always hurt me and I let you because ndakuthanda! love shouldn't be this painful" I think I cried for a good 15 minutes, he didn't say anything wavele wandiyeka. Lonwabo"Entle" I looked at him. Lonwabo"Your love scares me, I don't know ndithini kuwe sometimes I feel so unworthy ukulala ecaleni kwakho like I am not man enough for you. Today I checked our 'Bill Gates account' you never touched a cent, we sold our dream house for me to start my own firm! waboleka imali because you believed in me, ndakoyika Nolhiza your strength and ability to love scares me. Jonga Entle I will never justify the shit I have done to you, andazi noba ufuna nto kum. You raised those children wedwa, you turned a house into a home., nangoku Entle today is possible ngenxa yakho. I don't know nangoku what I want to say… you make me nervous" I sat next to him.  Me"I cannot get back together with you, not now I need to find myself without you. I need to figure out what happened to me, I use to be happy Lonwabo and I used to have direction! you took that from me, andazazi without you. And that's not normal! I miss being Entle Lamani, I love you but let me love me just as much" he put his head around my waist. Lonwabo"We have forever, I promise you no more Sindile but Sanele ngumntana wam I have to look after him njengabanye" I decided to put my head on his shoulders. Lonwabo"Forever and always" I smiled. Me"Until the Aliens move out hahaha" we were not back together, we were just talking. Lonwabo"Ina" he gave me keys. Me"ngezanto?" I moved my head. Lonwabo"I used the Bill Gates account, zozibonela what they open ngenye imini "

It will always be Lonwabo
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Wednesday, July 15


Life without my husband Chapter 77

Chapter 77

Nguwo Nguwo Nguwo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We turned Kabega upside down, I wanted my son to have the best Mgidi and we provided. We got the whole street closed, we had a different mobile bars and tents for later. Lonwabo and I went all out for our son, they did the same for Viwe so nam I did the same for my son.  At 5am we were already up, Lumka and Kagiso bought a cow for us, my aunt took 7 sheep from her farm for us for umgidi three were already slotted izolo.  Some of Seth's Cape Town friends were already here, Lumka and I were running around waiting for a call from Mbasa to tell us Seth is near so we can start with inqonqo. Qhama"Sisi" She was in her Makoti gear looking all kinds of adorable. Lumka"Shiyeke akhonto, umntana is your first priority " we were the cool inlaws, well my aunts were working her to the bone but Qhama kept her cool like she was born to be a wife you know what I mean. Ntombi came running with her iPad on her hand, she has been recording since izolo. Ntombi"Tata says they are near" Sis'Thami was there too, leading ooMama becula. My heart was so warm, Zimkitha held my hand while I cried.  My son was coming home! he was safe! he was a man! moments like these make being a parent so amazing. The men were near we could hear them singing, the neighbors were peeking and some actually came to join us. We sang until kwangenwa endlini, ootata baya enkudleni beyo yala uSeth. Dabawo"Khala mntanam, hillllilili! usebenzile hay kancinci no mntombi" she hugged me, I sat there laughing and crying to think I thought I my son might not be survive initiation school. "Yhuuu yakhala? seriously Entle stoop it" I was shocked.  Me"hahaha ufike nini?" we hugged. Thato"We just got here! my mom couldn't miss this yamazi nawe, we have to go eMall quickly" Zimkitha hugged her and Kathy was screaming shouting for Lumka to come see. Thato"Reunion!" her mother walked in with her father. Thato"We bought a few things, I hope this will be enough" they bought alcohol beer,ciders, vodka and they hand kingsize drinks. Mama"Hau Entle you still cry a lot" I swear God may have took both my parents, but Thato's parents were their replacement .

Umgidi uyewaqala around 2, later than planned kungengcwele Lamani family and Skhosana family, friends from Khayelitsha and my colleagues. Bulelani"Awusemhle" this guy, he checked up on Seth helped me out with my furniture and he help ngoxhela. Me"You're amazing,thank you for helping" I had to go back inside akhonto bingayo ngxaki, complaints from Lonwabo's family but Lumka and Dabawo dealt with them. Kugasa gidwa,  Lumka bought him a bed, Zimkitha bought him a laptop, Kathy gave him a him a gift voucher and case ye beer,  Lonwabo's family and mine were giving gift vouchers. Lumka"Unekamva write everything down! don't rest yi duty yakho le" as we were chilling, Thato yanked my arm. Thato"Don't let her get to you" kuculwa 'Nilele nha? nanku omntu enkqonqoza' Sindile leading the non-suspecting women. Unekamva"Hahaha drama alert" I laughed.  Kathy"You're better than that" she gave me the blankets. Me"Enkosi" we hugged. Dabawo"Sela kalok" we didn't even pay attention to her after that. Viwe"Mama yabizwa" I followed him and he led me to Bukho. Bukho"You must have saved up, kuyanyiwa apha hahaha" he hugged me. Bukho"What do you need? Cwenga and I feel useless" I laughed at them. Me"Nothing okwangoku, maybe ngomso. But thank you for providing accommodation" Khaya stood next to Bukho and didn't say anything.  Cwenga"Should I act cool or warn Lobsie buzotyelwa?" we all laughed Khaya and I not breaking eye contact. Bukho"The latter and fast hahaha" Cwenga and Bukho left us. Khaya"Can I say something stupid" I laughed nodding "uyi All Star wena, timeless nyani Entle"  I hugged him. Me"Can we talk later, I have to attend to my guests" he winked. Khaya"Sho akhonto"

Lonwabo and I were standing together but not showing any affection, he couldn't because he was still married and well I had to wait for the divorce before getting any public attention. Lonwabo"You can wait at the hotel, or nihambe kwa namhlanje" Before I could answer Bukho and Cwenga came to stand with us. Bukho"Told you Entle is sleeping with Khaya awamamela" I honestly dislike Bukho he is vile and arrogant.  Lonwabo"Facts" I was either invisible or being intentionally ignored.  Me"why do you care?" Bukho laughed.  Cwenga"Kaizer ulapha" Lonwabo's face turned red and he stormed off, I tried to run after him but Cwenga blocked me. Bukho"Walk away" I was really getting irritated.  Cwenga"Let us tell you a story" Bukho cleared his throat "Lonwabo cheats, and leaves Entle for you…" Cwenga"Just get to the ending" I was really annoyed. Bukho"He always goes back, because when its all said and done Entle was there for him when she could have ran, Entle gave him a family but uquqa ebuyela because she actually loves him for him" I laughed. Cwenga"Uzokutya and promise you ilizwe lonke,  but it will always be Entle buza Alwaba she will tell you" they took turns telling me shit. Me"Grow up!!!!" They both laughed.  Bukho"At least use a condom! Entle can raise so many bastard children"

I hate them!!!
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Monday, July 13


Life without my husband chapter 76

Chapter 76

Time flies when you are also stressed, 3 weeks went by faster than the speed of light. One week was left before umgidi ka Seth, buying food and alcohol was stressful not to mention juggling work too. Obviously the Aliens helped but I needed more man power, Lumka arrived with Vali just in time to rescue me. Unekamva"Mama" She was holding the door frame with her head peeking inside. Me"Ngena" I was sitting with Lumka and Zimkitha. Une"I'll just come back later" Lumka said they'll give us space but she refused and promised we will speak later. Lumka"Aww mntana ka Gqirha" they laughed. Zimkitha"Sana! I always wanted to ask, udyola nini? " she smiled and walked out. Zimkitha"Lesbian" Lumka nodded. Me"Futsek! you said the same ngo Viwe kodwa mjonge ngoku" I was worried about lo mgidi but mostly Seth, I wanted to see my son. 
Telling my secret was a whole lot more harder than I thought it would, I decided to call Luntu I had to share the burden . I needed to know if there was still a chance for us? or should I move move on, I had put so much effort in this relationship will never happen. Me"Hello" he didn't say anything, which I took as a blessing because I had plenty to say. Me"You're so unfair, I am here waiting for you to give me a sign! anything just to know we still have a chance. You promised me you will nev…" him laughing cut me off. Luntu"I dated you ku Grade 9 wena you were in grade 8, I worshipped you remember? my first kiss, our first time I loved you! and everyone knew that but wena you have this bad habit, you push everyone away . Before I let for Varsity we both, not mna dedwa but the two of us decided we should break up because the distance won't work" he was pissed I could tell. Me"I know but things changed! Luntu, remember how we decided to get married? Nguwe it was your idea" I went to lock the door because this was about to be huge. Luntu"Yes you were crying!!! I love you Kamva that you should never doubt, but us getting married was reckless but I don't regret it. But you left me not the other way around" heh. Me"Luntu! you stopped trying, we hardly spoke after you left and during the holidays I hardly saw you. Yes we were not ready for marriage but we are married! I deserve an explanation Luntu! it cannot be the baby thing because you never bothered to call! I wanted you to call me ubuze how it went! You stopped caring Luntu! I am 23 married with an abortion under my belt!" we both went quiet, I dropped the phone and he called again. Luntu"I will move to Cape Town then, we will figure it out just like we use too. I didn't call because I was scared that I ruined your life yet again, but baby I promise I will move to Cape Town and tell my parents about what we did. I am sorry for being a coward, I just found Varsity fascinating new City, new crowd and I forgot us that wasn't cool. I love you though, it will always be you" sigh "But Une I don't want you to hate me, date someone else, get hurt whatever you need to do but be sure ufuna mna qha" he dropped the phone, how do I date someone else? Luntu is all I know. I thought Luntu and I were the perfect love story, how do I date? how does he expect me to just let go.
Viwe and I were at Greenacres looking for last minute things, apparently I should have bought inkobe. "Sis'Entle" Viwe and I turned around. Her"Ndim Lelethu" she was so grown up and judging by Viwe's smile he agreed. Me"Awusemhle" we hugged. Lelethu"Hahaha Enkosi, ngu Seth lo?" she beamed. Viwe"Nah babe, Viwe the oldest" she was giggling. Me"Uphi tatakho?" I cannot remember the last time I saw Khaya. Lelethu"At home, I'll tell him I saw you" she was speaking to me but looking at Viwe. Me"Ngumgidi ka Seth saturday, I'll ask Viwe to send you the address" They exchanged numbers and we left. Viwe "How old is she?" perfect example of the apple not falling far from the tree. Me"Hahaha probably 17 but ngumntana ka Khaya lo, so stay away" he pulled my chick. Viwe"Mama you could see nawe, does she look like she wants me to stay away?" I don't know why but for the first time in forever seeing Khaya or the thought of seeing him excited me. Viwe"Day dreaming uqhuba? hay hay Nolhiza"

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