Mzansi Stories : Life without my husband
Showing posts with label Life without my husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life without my husband. Show all posts

Sunday, August 23

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 90

Chapter 90
Five years later
Someone once said "Everything has an ending" I have experienced the glory of hell, I have lost myself trying to find other people, I have been in more hospitals beds than anyone I know, I have lost and won battles, I cried, laughed, learned but most of all I have never ever given up!!. I can scream out loud and say "I survived Cancer", I have depression and I don't care about the stigma it comes with because I have it not the next person! I learned to walk up tall and not let circumstances define me or my family, I've lost material things and survived, my children have hated me for all the wrong reason but my love for them kept me going, I have watched the man I love play with my love like it was nothing!, I've had a miscarrage that I will never stop crying about because I honestly think it was unfair and that was my child. Regardless of all the pain, all the tears and heart throbbing moments I met the most amazing souls. My sister Lumka and her husband Kagiso, Zimkitha who I can say is my twin, Thato the strongest yet weakest person I've ever met, Kathy my rock who recently passed away but I am glad to have had such an amazing person in my life, Cwenga my nemesis hahaha, Bukho the most known unknown, Siyanda one of the sweetest guys I know obviously next to Khaya. If I could sit down and tell someone about my life, they would probably cry with me or hug me.
"Mama" Ntombi walked in with a smile on her face,Varsity looks good on her. First year Stellenbosch Biomedical Technology student, she was still with Mihlali which scared me a little because he was her Lonwabo but unlike me yena ingathi ebekwazi uzibamba and not let him walk over her, I guess we get stronger as generations get by. Me"Ndicela undinxibise" I gave her my shoes. Ntombi"Awusemhle MaRadebe" I smiled. Seth"Mama can I not be late?" My graduate, yes Setile wam ya graduate(er) namhlanje . I never said this out loud but Seth is the apple of my eye, I would do absolutely anything for him. Ntombi"Masambeni ke" Lonwabo,Thato and Cwenga were driving with Viwe.. Viwe my Wits graduate, I see Lonwabo in him although Lobsie would disagree. He came all the way from Pretoria to watch his brother graduate, he has a job now you know. Its funny how life goes, Viwe was suppose to be the worst part about Lobsie and I but kum he is everything and more. I would tell anyone willing to listen that Viwe is my son! and I love him,because we should never punish our children for their parents sins! never. We left for Nmmu, in the car they were playing my favorite song Birdy Terrible love hahahaThato and I use to love that song. Ntombi"Memories?" I nodded, as Ntombi drove I kept looking at them. Me"Ngaphandle kwethu, ninga lahlani! doesn't matter who will do what or whatever material things that will seem to matter. Unekamva,Viwe, Seth and Ntombi you'll always be our aliens" Seth looked at me. Me"Mbasa and Qhama will always be there for you, naxabe ngekho Milani and Mtimkulu will be your responsibility" I wasn't dying but my father always made Lumka and I value each other and till today I am nothing without Lumka. Ntombi"And Sanele" I smiled. Me"And Mvaba" We arrived at Nmmu and Unekamva was already there, she and Lesego got officially married with family around. I looked at her stomach and laughed, she looked so cute yet so grown. Me"Nifike nini?" we hugged. Une"Yesterday,qha bendi gula so we couldn't go eKabega" She hugged Ntombi. Me"Anisebahle" Ntombi whispered to Une"She is weird today" They both laughed, eventually everyone joined us. Mbasa"We have the posters" we took photographs, Thato and I were remiscing and I think Lobsie and Cwenga were having a moment too.
After the ceremony we all went outside, we took more pictures with Seth. Lonwabo"This is us" he held my hand and I got that warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy,my palms still sweat when he holds my hand. Me"I love us Lonwabo" he laughed. Lonwabo"Remember Viwe crying because he thought we didn't love him? Seth choosing Lolo over us? Une getting lost at Canal walk hahaha or the time Ntombi cried because she felt alone. Now look at them, you've done a great job MaRadebe" I smiled. Me"Enkosi Gaba wam" We all went back to Kabega, the girls dished for everyone while we were chatting. Thato"I found something, we were so young pha" she took out a picture of the four of us, we were at the beach . Me"Yhuu hay Thato!" I felt tears creepin. "I cannot imagine my life without you! you have been there when running was an option, when giving up seemed easy! Cwenga allowed me to invade your privacy and sleep on your side of the bed countless times, you two practically adopted my children when I was falling apart! not once did you make me feel like a burden, although I was one!. I don't know how my life would have been, if azange ndize eBhayi and I don't want to know. God gave me nina, sometimes I wanted to kill you but I could not because Cwenga would say "Hardship doesn't define us", words could never describe my love for nina nonke and I dont want too because "the best stories are the ones with countless versions" that's my love for you" Cwenga stood up to hug me. Lonwabo"She always steals the show hahaha " Thato and I just looked at each other nodding,we could speak to each other without saying a word yet it would be the funniest conversations. "Sorry to interrupt,but ndicela unikhupha" We agreed after eating singahamba. We had lunch, we laughed told stories,sharing jokes. Lonwabo"Singahamba ke" Cwenga stood up too. Thato"They are so excited hahaha", we also got up and followed Seth. Thato"Kuyiwaphi?" he laughed. Seth"Its a surprise" We all got in and left, he drove us to Summerstrand. Lonwabo"kakhona?" Seth just smiled, he parked in Kings beach. Thato"Hay Thixo!" Seth just smiled. Seth"Mama told me this story more than 10 times, I think its fair that you should relive it" silence just took over, think we all immediately went through memory lane. Me"Enkosi" thats all I could say, we got off and walked towards Cubana. Thato"Hahaha hay Seth" she held Cwenga's hand, he too was just as shocked. Seth left us and said we'll find him in the car. Cwenga"For old time sake?" we walked to the beach just to watch waves, my head on Lobsie's shoulder. Lonwabo"I love you" I removed my head to look at him. Me"I love you just as much" he kissed my forehead. Me"You are my forever" he smiled. Lonwabo"I'll always be yours"
Forever & Always
THE END**********
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Friday, August 21

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 89

Chapter 89
I woke up and got dressed Lonwabo was still sleeping, I searched for my car keys until I found them. I woke up with the urge of visiting my parents, its been too long anyway seems like I forgot about them. I went to the nearest garage first for airtime and petrol, I also bought BB and some matches. After 2 hours of driving my phone rang, I ignored it because I already knew it was Lonwabo but it rang again this time I got curious and picked it up. Lonwabo"Uphi?" I told him. Lonwabo"Entle you are being so irresponsible right now" he dropped the phone and called again. Me"I'll sleep phaya, I'll see you guys kula veki uNtombi avula ngayo" I had to pack, find tenants for the house in Kabega and pack Ntombi's things too. Lonwabo"Entle zinto zakhe, you make decisions without consulting me and I thought we agreed Seth will take the house" Lonwabo acts like Seth is incapable of failing grade 12, like Seth has earned my house kodwa Viwe stayed a res but Seth gets a house? when did we become the Motsepe family? . Me"No akho Seth uzohlala pha yedwa, res! or whatever. Lonwabo stop what you doing, ukhetha Seth kuno Viwe qho! rather treat them as equals or uyeke because imbi nyani lento and its starting to show" When Lonwabo is wrong uvele athule. Me"Anyway I'll call when I arrive" I got to Comfivamba around 5pm which was later than I anticipated, so I went straight endlini called Lonwabo and slept. My alarm woke me up at half 6, I took a bath and then went straight to the grave yard. I cleaned ku MamQocwa kuqala and then cleaned elika Radebe, being there felt so odd .
Me"Yazi izolo I slept phaya endlini and it felt so weird, it was so empty quiet like it wasn't once a family home. I sat up thinking about mama shouting at Lumka and I for touching her pots, shouting at tata for not respecting her tiles hahaha. Remember how we use to watch you two fight about the smallest things but tata would just kiss you then ulibale. I honestly tried to raise the aliens with the same principles but I failed,I am one of the worst mothers this world has ever produced. You two made it look easy, from me trying to run away with Lulama and mama you told me to pack faster because you'd never stop me from being stupid! tata stalking Lumka because he wasn't ready to let her go. I remembered the day I was leaving for varsity, tata told anyone who would listen that I was leaving for PE to study Engineering. I
know I took so long to get that degree but I did!, and nothing hurts more than you not seeing me graduate! nothing hurts more than knowing I failed you over the years. Tata would say "Akho madoda dani eBhayi Nolhiza? ngu Lonwabo otheni loo", I laughed so hard even I saw la vase tatu' Jama gave to Mama for her birthday. I miss you so much! I wasn't ready to say igoodbye, God took you too soon! there moments when I wait for your call, mama to remind me ndithule washing or close the windows. I wanted you to see my children not just Seth, tata Milani looks so much like you! I wanted to be angry at you for leaving us! but I cannot" I stood up. Me"Maybe its time to accept akubuyelwa mva, stop dragging everything with me. I just thought I should say goodbye, and tell you I spent all those years in
varsity to start my a creche. Maybe its the worst thing I could ever do but I have to show my appreciation somehow to Mama and giving is what she and Lolo did best" Maybe I've been my own enemy all these years, maybe I just needed to just accept what I couldn't change and appreciate what I already have. Maybe I am the reason for all my problems, for Seth hating me, Lonwabo thinking he could walk all over me and maybe I've neglected Ntombi . 
I called Zimkitha while walking to my car, I
couldn't speak to Thato because she will over react and Kathy always say no but mostly because Zimkitha has known me longer. Zimkitha"Uphi… Everyone is leaving" I explained ndiphi and why. Zimkitha"Oh okay, ngoku ufuna uthini?" "I want to speak to Sindile" she screamed. Zimkitha"Goduka!!!
Don't start drama" I knew she would say that. Me"Khamamele! I was rude to Sindile and she didn't deserve it" andazi noba that was a sarcastic laugh na. Zimkitha"Hello Entle? uphambene? she took your husband and had a child with him" "Lonwabo wasn't forced to sleep with Sindile, mamela please ask Sthembiso if he doesn't know anyone with a background in teaching or whatever we need for a creche" Kathy handled the paperwork, we would use the house in Khayelitsha. Zimkitha"Entle sort yourself out and we will handle things, please do me a favor" I had no choice but to agree. Zimkitha"Can you go back to Ngozi? I'll book for you, if he says awuna nto then I'll relax" I agreed. Me"Thank you" we laughed. Zimkitha"Visit my mother too, she'll be delighted to see you"
I drove to Sindile's place with my apology well rehearsed and my arms were ready to hug her. I arrived there and the gate was locked so I decided to ukhwaza andiyazi kutheni kunga phendulwa. "bahamba" I turned around to look at who was talking. Me"Bayephi?" she laughed. Stranger"Yabambi into! before christmas walahla impahla zendoda yakhe, iphisa nganto yonke! izinyembezi! yhooo kwaku kubo ngalo mini" I nodded. Me"Enkosi mama"
No loose ends


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Tuesday, August 18

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 88

Chapter 88
Dream
Me"Seth!!!" I followed him, he kept on running laughing glowing from the sunlight. Me"Seth!!!!!!" It felt like we were in a maze, each turn he got younger and the clothes he wore all had some sort of meaning. Seth"umzi watsha, umzi watsha… khangela phaya khangela phaya… umlilo umlilo… galela amanzi galela amanzi" he carried on singing, in each turn his voice was starting to disappear "Seth!!!" he was now crawling, I tried picking him up but he disappeared. Tata"Nolhiza" I looked up, we were in our old house kwi nursery ka Seth. Me"Tata nguwe" he wasn't looking at me, ndasuka emva kwakhe to see what he was looking at. There I was feeding Seth, I looked so different "Tata" he loved at the old Entle and laughed. Tata"talk to him, look for yourself kuye. He knows you better than anyone ngoba yena uyayazi kunjani ubayi nkedama" What did that even mean, old Entle started crying. Old Entle"Ndiya moyika" she handed Seth over to her father. Tata"Entle" he was looking at me. Tata"Vuthela amanxeba akudala kuqala" he handed sex to me. Me"What wounds?! Tata uthetha nganto" he started fading, the old me faded,Seth faded.

Lonwabo
Entle running outside, she wasn't wearing anything. Cwenga"Cover her" Zimkitha followed with a blanket, she was hysterical . Thato"MaRadebe calm down" but she was fighting us of, screaming for Unekamva and Seth. Entle"Ndifuna abantwana bam!!! He took my children!!!" Kathy suggested we take her to Seth immediately. Bukho"No! dont" We all looked at him. Bukho"Lonwabo whats Entle's biggest fear?" I took her from Thato's arms and wrapped her with the blanket. Me"Ndim lo Bhungane! Ndim lo Ndlebe ntle zombini" she started crying again searching my eyes. Entle"Pls get me my children" Bukho signaled that he'll do it, she kept on whispering something like she was arguing with herself. Thato"Entle not again! awukwazi undenza lento" Zimkitha was even worse, she was begging her to fight this whatever was making her act up again. Cwenga"Lonwabo Entle needs traditional help, I know I never admit to such things but listen to her" I ignored him. Unekamva"Bhuti?" Entle's face lit up as soon as she heard Une's voice. Entle"I'm sorry! xolo mtanam! I was only 17, I didn't know ndizo kuthini but I wanted to raise you… I tried to see you but your grandparents made sure andizi kuwe, I worked hard kuyo yonke into yam for wena! ndifuna uthi xolo, I'm sorry that you never got a chance to be raised by me, for not fighting harder! for being weak! xolo for being happy and acting like you never existed that was cruel of me!… but I love you Nomahlubi" Seth, Ntombi and Viwe walked in, she went straight to Seth. Entle"I didn't bond with you not because I hated you, I didn't deserve a chance at motherhood . I tried Seth even when it seemed like I wasn't, Lolo offered to raise you because I wasn't coping not because I loved you any less! … the were days where I wanted to fetch you and just tell you everything but I couldn't, no child deserves a weak mother and I know you hate me most of the time I don't blame you. Just know, I never meant to hurt you or be like this.  I hate that I'm like this too but its who I am, It should never take my love away from you. And before ugxole ngondi caphukela, always love your siblings put all that hate you feel for me in loving them" She kissed their foreheads and went upstairs, Thato and I followed her.  Thato"Ulele" she was sleeping peacefully.

Viwe
Depression or mental illness is so common in our family, like we hardly fuss about it anymore instead we watch and wait for our next clue. Lelethu on the other hand was frightened, or just emotionally overwheld. Thato"Take her to the kitchen umnike amanzi eswekile" I led her to the kitchen "Think I need to sleep ", nam without any hesitation I took her to her room. Lelethu"Will she be fine?" I nodded. Lelethu"Are you fine?" I wasn't but this wasn't about me. Me"only if you are" she stood up from the bed and kissed me. Me"I don't need your pity" she kissed me again, this time I responded. We stopped again, I looked at her and sat on the bed "tixa" that's all she said before taking off her jeans. Me"I've done this" she giggled "Nam but I like you" "tixa" I locked the door. Lelethu"Can I take off my own clothes" I nodded, I wanted to say no but I wasn't sure how to take off a bra . We sat on that bed naked in silence, she kept on looking at me and I kept on looking at her brown skin. Me"I don't know funeka ndithini" we both laughed.. Lelethu"Play any appropriate song on my phone, we'll stumble together. I'll tell you when I feel uncomfortable and you'll tell me when its in the right part" we both laughed again, she laid on her back and I tried to remember the stories Seth kept on telling me over the years about fingering. Me"Are you sure" she laughed covering her eyes then nodded, I got ontop of her and she flinched which scared me too. Lelethu"Uyabanda" I apologized and carried on kissing her nipples, she kept on moaning. Lelethu"Viwe" I looked at her and we kissed, between her and James Blunt in the background. Me"You're wet" be both giggled, she covered her face again I prepositioned myself and tried to penetrate her. Lelethu"Ouch" She bit her bottom lip. Me"Ndiyeke?" she said "no" I went in again keeping my strokes slow and shallow. Lelethu"Mmmm" I knew I was doing something right, I went in deeper and stopped for her reaction. Her legs were wrapped around my bum, each stroke was welcomed by amazing warmth. Me"Are you fine" she kissed me. Lelethu"I love you" I enjoyed that moment so much,looking at Lelethu and thinking I'm glad I waited.

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Thursday, August 13

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 87

Chapter 87
"You look beautiful" she wiped my tears. Me"Pls give me a few minutes" Thato nodded. Me"Thato" She stood next to the door frame and shrugged like she already knew what I.wanted to ask. Thato"Its all up to you" She closed the door on her way out, I laugh at myself because five hours ago Lonwabo and I had a mother of all arguments now we about to renew our vows, I looked at the time 23:05 . Me"What am I doing" The craziest thing about this, is for once in a long time I was actually happy! how can stupidity feel so good? Lonwabo is my best mistake but tell that to my feet because they are ready to walk and never look back. "Entle" I thought I was hearing things for a second until Cwenga walked in and set on top of the bed. Me"He left? or is he dead?" we both laughed. Cwenga"Hahaha sudika, khalela nto?" I sat next to him. Me"I'm scared, We have been here before and he ripped my heart apart. Whats going to be different now? my biggest fear is letting him in kanti he will fuck me up as always, I am picking up after him and my age doesn't allow ezonto ngoku. We are old but we act like teenagers, I think thats why we all failed in our relationships none of us ever want to admit, or act our age ndiphumile kwe zonto" I stood up and looked at him. "she loved you yaz, more than you realized and all she ever wanted was your time. Not your money, not your cars not that big house but your time. And I'm sorry for being a bitch over the years but you took my husband away from me and watched my family suffer like it was nothing. You could have told us Cwenga we deserved answers but thats all in the past" he stood up and hugged me. Cwenga"I'm sorry" Zimkitha opened the door. Zimkitha"Khasuke wena" We both laughed. Cwenga"I'll walk you down the aisle" Zimkitha rolled her eyes. Zimkitha"Yazithanda nezinto" they argued for a good 10 minutes if not more, I love their relationship its weird actually because Cwenga treats Zimkitha like a little sister although he hides it but ke we all know bayavana. Me"Can we go?" I wore my shoes and we walked to the dining area but they decorated it and it looked amazing. Me"When?" she and Cwenga just smiled. Me"Thank you"
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Thato"Makwenziwe kaloku" She was having the time of her life, well wine does that to people. Bukho"Yatsho lanto" we did this all wrong, Thato should have married Bukho, Zimkitha would have made sense with Cwenga "Entle" everyone was looking at me. Me"Uthini?" Viwe reminded us we have 20 minutes left before count down. Lonwabo"Entle go first" I smiled. Me"Please don't break my heart… again… we made promises to our parents and we've been failing at every attempt but here we stand with the aliens all grown up now. Lonwabo andiyazi ngoku, I know I'm suppose to be saying romantic things right now but my heart and mind are telling me to run as fast as I can but ndakuthanda for some stupid reason and I cannot imagine my life without you. In closing I'm moving back home" he kissed me and Ntombi couldn't hide her excitement. Lonwabo"Maybe thats the problem, we vowed to our parents not to each other. We made promises to them not to each other, I love you Maradebe you know this but we always clash somehow something has to go wrong and its probably the worst thing to put your children through. You gave me everything a man can only dream of, you made me cry,laugh,laugh but mostly love. Likhona somewhere Likhona ithemba…" Thato shouted "Likhona ithemba Lonwabo lwethu hahaha" Lobsie laughed. Lonwabo"Yes Thato Likhona, but whatever happens between us I cannot imagine my life without you… " 5 4 3 2 1 we just laughed. Cwenga"You may kiss your bride" Lonwabo and I kissed, Seth and Ntombi came to hug us. Lonwabo"So you two don't do hugs anymore" he was looking at Une and Viwe, Kathy was taking pictures of everyone. Thato"The dance kaloku" They played Photographs by Ed Sheeran, Siya dimmed the lights and a slide of all our pictures. Me"You guys where did you get the pictures?" Ntombi raised her hand. Lonwabo"Lets dance Mrs Skhosana" we just danced, everyone danced with their partners. Thato borrowed me from Lonwabo, she hugged me "Happy New Year" we sat on the chairs outside while everyone was partying ngaphakathi. Thato"You look beautiful " I beamed couldn't hide my glee. Me"Am I crazy? but ndamthanda and I cannot help it" she giggled. Thato"I remember when you moved in, you looked so beautiful and I knew on that day we will be best Friends forever. I remember the first time Lonwabo cheated on you, you cried so much I thought you'd commit suicide. You moved in with that guy after knowing him for a month, you fought with your father over that guy, you disowned half of us for Lonwabo, I never knew why! hell even your father didn't understand but I guess thats how we all knew it was love. It was so real it looked so wrong, and contrary to popular belief he loves you too. During your chemotherapy he cried qho, he would sit outside kwi parking lot esibhedlele and cry because he thought he was losing you. When you got admitted at St Anthony he wanted to visited Entle and I told him not to, he was your downfall or at least I thought so. We all dream of that type of love, some of us are never as lucky and mtchanam we may never say it out loud but we envy you guys.… hahaha I'm drunk masingene"
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Siya"Happy New year" we hugged. Me"Happy New Year tatekhaya" Siya and Kathy were the best couple ever. Siya"3rd time is a charm?" Lonwabo came to join us. Me"Hopefully" I told him what Siya said. Lonwabo"khayeke hahaha, can I steal her?" I excused myself. Lonwabo"Wanted to tell you Ndakuthanda" He kissed my forehead. Me"Nam ndakuthanda, but ndoyika" I was really scared, Lonwabo has really hurt me over the years but Life without Lonwabo doesn't make sense. Lonwabo"Forever and Always, never forget that. Noba kwenzeka nto it will always be you and I"

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Wednesday, August 12

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 86

Chapter 86
Zimkitha
Cwenga arrived a day before everyone else, he came up with an idea that pissed me of but I liked the idea anyway because I am a hopeless romantic. "So you'll help me" we were outside next to the stables. Me"So let me get this straight, you ruined their marriage and you feel guilty now you want us to arrange a picnic for them?" he nodded, smiling at me. Cwenga"Awuzondithuka" as if I would miss that opportunity. Me"Haska! uyinja wena but for once wenze into eright" I never admitted how much it hurt me that Entle slept with Bukho, but finding out she was pregnant with his child that did hurt a lot . I can claim it hurts lets because it was before me but who the hell am I fooling? not to mention deep down he always loved her and would jump at the chance to be with her. Cwenga"Yandiva??!" I was startled. Me"Heh?…" he pinched my cheek "Listen are you sure uright? we can cancel everything, I mean it was just an idea" I started walking and he ran after me. Cwenga"Zimkitha" I stopped and looked at him. Me"What is it about Entle? I've known Entle since grade 1 and its always been about her, not jealous don't get me wrong but I would love to know yinto le ingaka? . Entle could watch you fall apart and get down on the ground cry with you, she could be down to her last cent but would sacrifice it for her children. You should have seen her when they took Unekamva from her, that was her first time losing it actually that was the day Entle stopped living for herself" I stood there reflecting, how could I be mad at her when she is always there for me. Cwenga"You're crying" I wiped my tears. "Yamthanda uBukho?" wait he thought I was crying for Bukho. Me"Rhaaaa sies! ndamcaphukela lomntu, not because of Entle but that short bastard is rude as hell but the dick is good but osile lanto leya " we both laughed. Cwenga"Hahaha you are so ghetto kanjani" him and Lonwabo always say that as if its a bad thing. Me"Kanti? I grew up in the ghetto, I am bound to be ghetto and you damn well know I love being ghetto" His drama with Thato aside, I actually prefer Cwenga kuno Lonwabo. Cwenga"Ngoku new husband ithini into?" we walked to the house laughing catching up. Me"Ngoku divorce final? " He nodded. Cwenga"Yea, she is leaving for Joburg after new year and I am moving in with Anelisa " its funny how things go, We were all married and happy well they were but andiyazi ngoku. We all look up to Entle and Lonwabo, guess it comes with age. Me"Stembiso has 4 children, sathanda uhamba sizifaka marrying freedom fighters hahaha" We were making plans that might fail for the sake of love, starting to think we all depends on their relationship to believe in the existence of love.
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Thato and I were watching the Proteas while the kids were walking around "making new memories", we were drinking beer like we had no plans of driving later and thanks to Thato's mother Mvaba wasn't an issue because they offered to take him and Thando. Thato"Not comfortable uhamba ngaphandle komntanam" we both laughed . Me"I'll miss you yazi" we were sitting kwi Castle corner, the people next to us were trying to initiate the Mexican Wave. Thato"Lets do this!" we joined in, from then the band was going crazy playing good music. Thato"Hahaha I love PE" During the lunch break we called Kathy. Kathy"Where are you?? Siya and I are on our way" Thato and I exchanged looks. Thato"We are watching Cricket hahaha, We will drive down after the game" Siya was swearing at us. Me"Mamela thenga lanto yam nawe" Kathy was shouting, I always forget she is white. Siya"Ikhona MaRadebe" our weekend in Paarl was about to be awesome no doubt. Kathy"Entle can I make your year?" "Its done?" Because Kathy had a huge mouth, this was suppose to be a secret until everything was sorted. Me"Katherine!" she laughed then apologized. Me"A.a sho!" I hung up and Thato was staring at me. Me"Surprise, all in good time" After our win, made arrangements on who was leaving with who. Thato"Une you and your husband can drive together, hlambi he'll decide to pay ilobola" she laughed with Ntombi. Seth"Uhm so Bonga, Viwe, Lelethu and I?" Thato and I laughed at him. Bonga"Mama hahaha trust us" Thato took looked at the both of them. Me"Manzi is proof of our trust, and Viwe will savage Khaya's daughter" We decided Ntombi will go with Une and Lesedi, Viwe will drive Ntombi and Bonga kunye nam, and the rest will ride with Thato. Me"Safe trip everyone, no unnecessary stops!" I sent Zimkitha a text "Parked the white dress, andiyazi if izakulingana ke" she replied "just get your ass here" 
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We arrived at exactly 2am and because of Viwe! he drives like a snail, We called Stembiso for directions and he sent his son who immediately caught Ntombi's attention. Me"Nonke nifuze uLonwabo asoze uve", We didn't sleep we spent the spoke kwade kwasa, we went to bath then Zimkitha took us on a tour. the farm was huge! from the cottages outside, the swimming pools, the stables, entertainment ground quad bikes and pain ball area, ngaphakathi they had a huge cellar and wine making equipment which obviously was our favorite part of the house. Thato"Stembiso can I move in?" it was really beautiful. Stembiso"Well you are always welcome, this place is empty during the year" Bukho arrived while we were having lunch, he was with his girlfriend. Zimkitha"My mistake, better late than never" they hugged. Bukho"My womb, awusemhle" these two were weird, on the surface it seemed like bayavana but trust me we all knew Zimkitha wanted to punch the fuck out of him. Lonwabo"Nihleliphi?" Thato raised her hand "Creche ibingeka phumi" everyone laughed. Bukho"Uzozicengezela because kukho iwine? you're better than that" Thato sipped her glass of white wine. Thato"You are late, sbali already allowed me to move in" Lonwabo kept on looking at me then at Bukho. Me"Uhm let me go check on the aliens" he stood up too. Lonwabo"I honestly tried but I cannot sit here and pretend this is normal" Zimkitha looked at Cwenga, Kathy stood next to Lonwabo. Kathy"Listen! you cheated and she cheated, why are you giving her a hard time? honestly tell us because we are all trying to figure it you"he looked at me then at Kathy. Lonwabo"Ask her" I shrugged. Cwenga"Sibadala for lento, You two follow me!" We walked behind him, he led us to the lake. Cwenga"This is your opportunity to talk, it always works in the movies make it work nalapha" He walked away. Lonwabo"What happens now?"
The million dollar question


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Friday, August 7

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 85

Chapter 85

My neighbor was walking his dogs when he stopped at my gate, white people are naturally weird but not in a bad way. "I heard the noise" she walked to me and gave me her hand, I refused it just sat there waiting for Lonwabo to come back with my children. Une"Mama" she spoke to my neighbor whose name I don't know but I know their dog is always barking, after she left Une closed the gate and walked up to me. Une"Phakama Mama" she tried to lift me up. Une"Entle! phakama!" She forced me up again, I stood up we walked to the house. Une"Ina" she gave me a bottle of water, I drank it watching her taking her car keys.  Une"Masambe Mama, baphi ooNtombi?" she sat me down helping me wear my uggies then took my jacket helped me wear it. Me"Siyaphi" she didn't answer, she left and came back after a while with frozen mixed veg packet wayibaka entloko. Me"Yabanda lento" she ignored me, she took the usb then my bag and hers. Une"Masambe Mama" she helped me up, we went to Mercantile Hospital to have my head checked out. Une told the doctor my medical history like I was incapable of speaking, he examined me, I got pills and we left. I decided to tell her everything, she was staring at me probably shocked by her siblings exiting. Une"Its Christmas, we will deal with everything else after that. Everything will be fine again, its just a matter of time" In the car she played Elton John Bennie and the Jets, I smiled because Zimkitha and I's friendship would be a lie if any of us would forget that song. Me"Yazi Tamkhulu wakho played this song qho xayezo ndibetha, its a fun song so you forget the pain and focus on the beat" we were laughing and I liked that, a part of me didn't care about everything else that was happening. We went to get fetch her husband at the guest house, then went to Spar luckily it was opened so we bought the snacks and things to make dessert.  We left for Kabega, Don't stop believing by Journey played next. Me"Volume" we all sang along surprised the husband also knew the song. On our drive way Thato's car was there, she had her own key but was surprised to see her there. We went inside and Mvaba was watching Sophia the first crawling around the table, Lesedi followed after Une and I went straight to the kitchen.
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Me"Wapheka kwam?" she laughed but she was actually crying. Thato"Why didn't you tell me? I am angry at you! I never lie to you never Entle but you did, so I need to know why" she sat on the kitchen counter. Me"I slept with Bukho" I opened the fridge avoiding eye contact, I took out the tomatoes and cucumber.  Me"Before Zimkitha, remember when I got admitted at St anthony ngokuya and the baby Esihle terminated was Bukho's child" she went quiet for sometime then randomly shouted "Hay Entle! Suxoka! Yhooo" I wanted to laugh . Thato"Okay lets say I forgive 65% of you because you kept another secret from me" we both laughed. Me"But in my defense, you got me arrested for assault bendizoku xelela njani?" I told her everything Bukho said namhlanje. Thato"Hay mtshanam! you have the sweetest honey point hands down " We made our Christmas lunch. Me"Baphi ooThando?" she laughed. Thato"Bonga is with Seth eroomini and Ntombi took Thando to the park phangakwa KFC" I was confused for a second and I think she noticed it too . Thato"Lonwabo dropped them off pha, Seth told me about the fight and how he thinks you need me. So yeah ndaza kenam" I ran out of the kitchen and knocked on his door just incase, when he opened I gave him the biggest hug. Me"Enk.…osi" I just hugged him for a while crying. Seth"I can't breathe" I moved laughing. Seth"I hate it xa ukhala" I wiped my tears and he smiled. Seth"Sorry we scared you, but didn't want Ntombi to see you laweyi" I nodded . Me"Uphi Lonwabo? " he shrugged. Seth"Probably with Bonga's father, but myeke Mama just let him calm down" The day went on, we had our food watching a movie. Thato and the children slept over, I waited for Lonwabo but khange afike.
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The next morning we had cricket tickets, Une's husband tagged along. Viwe was meeting us there, we drove to there Lesedi drove Thato and I we had to question his intentions but all failed because he was a great guy . Thato"Isn't Kamva graduating next year?" for a minute I forgot that, Une was an ancestor in University changing courses . Me"Is she still studying Journalism? " they both laughed. Lesedi"Dip in Interior design and yes she is graduating" my phone rang it was a private number. Me"Hello" it was a pocket dial because I kept on saying hello but no answer, I dropped the phone. After 20 minutes a text from Bukho came "You heard that? he forgave me not wena, yeka Lobsie because he will never love you the way you want him to" I got another text but this time Lonwabo "We need to speak, I'll see you in Paarl and cela uxelele Ntombi I said 'the latter' she will understand. Enjoy the Test."

Paarl

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Thursday, August 6

Wizzy

Life without my husband Chapter 84

CHAPTER 84

"Lonwabo" he didn't say anything just cuddled up behind me and I felt weird, I don't know why but it felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil. You know sex should bring you together but kum it just made me feel empty , suddenly everything that has ever happened to us crawled up nothing like before this time I just felt filthy. "I slept with Bukho" he slowly moved his hand away from my chest but I held it, he was trembling fuming with anger, every breathe he took was louder than the other "Cwenga walked in on us" He pulled his hand and got out of bed, I sat up looking at him as he paced around the room naked. Lonwabo"Nini?" I dont know why but for once, I was actually hurting Lonwabo and that felt good! A smile crept up on my face but I quickly changed to my polka face. Lonwabo"hamba before ndikonzakalise" I laughed so loud without any care of waking up the children which was very unlike me. Me"once Lonwabo" he came towards me and I flinched. Lonwabo"so that makes it fine? You fuck my best friend once and its fine! Thetha man" he dragged me out of the bed so fast I knocked my head against the door frame. Lonwabo"undenza isibhanxa mos! You… hey mani! Entle lale no Bukho?" I held my head and showed him the blood, he came towards me again I bumped my head because I was trying to move away from him. Me"You slept with Sindile" Last kicks of a dying horse. Lonwabo"I want the whole story or ndizoku betha unye Entle undicaphukele" I sat there staring at him, trying to think where do I start. Lonwabo"You cheated on me with Khaya remember? I forgave you, after that you slept with Lulama and I forgave you Entle! but my best friend … " he slapped me and I screamed. Me"sorry" He stood up. Lonwabo"This is what we do Entle! you fuck up I fix it, I fuck up and the whole world hates me! you slept with my best Friend! and you didn't even feel guilty about it!" he laughed "St Anthony" I nodded. Lonwabo"That wasn't my child" I nodded again. Lonwabo"You won, I am done with you"
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Thato
Cwenga"She is my daughter" he randomly said, we were watching A Christmas Kiss those predictable Christmas movies. Me"Ubani?" he paused for a second, staring at me for the longest time. "Bonga" I laughed "Biological daughter Thato" I looked at him, waiting for the punchline kule joke but I guess I was the joke. Me"Njani?" thats all I could say, yet I wanted to grab a knife and stab him. Cwenga"One night stand that went wrong, it was way before you bendino Xoli that time. We were losing Athi and she didn't want Bonga, I could not let my daughter grow up like that " I switched off the tv and then went to switch off the lights. Me"I don't want to see you because uzondi hlanyisa! Who are those people" I stood next to the door listening to him. "She is Bonga's mother and Lunga is my cousin, Thato you were never going to accept her if buyazi inyani! and Entle overhead Lonwabo nam, that day at the hospital after Athi's funeral… She promised to keep my secret if I keep eyakhe" betrayal cuts deep, but its deeper when it comes from the people you love. Me"You threw Sisipho at me, I accepted and Cwenga you knew that was hard for me but I accepted her! You took Athi from me and I eventually forgave you dammit! Bonga that isn't fair! I lost my son and you saw that as an opportunity to get your way? You lied to me countless times and I gave you a chance to be honest nam! Azange Cwenga, I have never cheated on you, I have never not stroked your ego when you doubted yourself! every fucken day I cried because I couldn't give you a child and you took advantage Cwenga" my phone rang from a distance. Cwenga"They were there before you…" I grabbed the pot plant I put my hand on earlier and threw it at him I obviously missed because it was dark. "You could have told! you should have told me! your family treated me amasimba and I took it because I felt like less of a woman, I risked my life with Mvaba just to give you a heir ngoba ndakuthanda Cwenga! … You damaged me, took advantage of my weaknesses and you dragged everything I ever felt for you out of my system namhlanje" I switched on the light and I went to my phone which was ringing. Me"Hello" she gasped for air. Entle"I need you" this bitch is delusional. Me"I needed you 17 years ago" I threw the phone at Cwenga and took my car keys. Me"I am broken nguwe" I left him there. 
*************
After he left I called Thato but judging by her answer Cwenga told her everything, I got up took shower and after that I took two adcodols "Is Ntombi mine?" I turned around looked at my crying husband. Lonwabo"Entle ndabuza!!!" Ntombi looks like him! Ntombi is the female version of Lonwabo hence the name Ntombikayise. Me"Really Lonwabo? I am not a whore" he laughed . Lonwabo"I want a DNA test!… Fuck Entle Bukho? " He was shouting louder now. Me"You were not there! everyone visited! everyone but you Lonwabo! Test them but I know and nawe yayazi they are your children" He was staring at me. Me"Its Christmas" I walked towards the door. Me"Cela uphuma" he opened the door not breaking eye contact, I walked out in the passage I could hear music coming from Seth's room, Une's lights were still off she can sleep through a Tsunami. The tv was on I knew Ntombi was awake and judging by the sobbing she heard everything. Me"Can I sit next to you?" she ignored me as expected . Me"I am listening" she laid her head on my lap. Ntombi"Taka Bano mama? he is my father? " I kissed her forehead. Me"Lonwabo is your father" I told her to trust me, adults fight all the time. Ntombi"Will we ever be normal?" She moved her head I noticed she was crying. Me"I pray so baby I really do" I kissed her forehead and excused myself, I had to call Bukho. He picked up after the second attempt of calling him, which I understood it was 04:50 am. Bukho"Hey" it felt like everything was falling apart and honestly it was about to get worse. Me"Lonwabo knows" I dropped the phone, I had at least warned him I sat on the stoep trying to figure out everything but I had no answers. My message tone interrupted my brainstorming or whatever I was attempting. "You deserve better, I always tell you this and maybe this is a sign. I don't regret what we did, I know awundithandi not the way endifunayo mna but I am willing to make you mine" I looked up and Lonwabo stood there. Lonwabo"We are leaving" Seth and Ntombi followed behind him. Me"Don't use them to win our fight! thats unfair Lonwabo" Seth walked pass me holding Ntombi's hand. Me"Lonwabo abantwana bam!!!" He got in the car and left, I ran behind it until I couldn't. Me"Lonwabo" I just sat on the drive away and cried because at that very moment, everything I ever loved just slipped right out of my hands and all I could do was watch.
His Wrath


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