The Painful Past Chapter 42

The Painful Past Chapter 42

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hard place and a rock.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 41

His words kept on playing over and over in my head. I like this guy so much and already I'm a turn off to him. What happened to my God?why is he not seeing me through this one?he said he will not leave nor forsake me but right now I feel forsaken.  I needed to think on my feet. Do I come clean or just continue painting the picture that I think he wants to see me through? The hard thing about having to pretend to be something you are not is that you end up forgetting who you truly are and that turns the people who know the real you away.

How am I going to hide Disebo when she's an obvious copy of Nigerians.  I don't know who else noticed but I have noticed that Nigerians have big square head that's flat at the back and sometimes they have some type of flat forehead.  My daughter has the squarepan head and yes its flat at the back,she has the Nigerian teeth too. Lol okay maybe I'm just exaggerating but if you know Nigerians then you'll tell just by looking at her that she's my sister from "anada mada".

Mom said she was going to bring the kids to come visit me later. What if the yummy Doctor will be here and he gets to notice that I'm one of tge 3/5 girls I'm South Africa that have Nigerian bambinos. Father Lord save me please . I don't want to lose Dr Thabiso before I could even have him and then again I don't want to lie about my baby. Dr Thabiso walked in just as I was lost in my thoughts and asked me if the injection he gave me earlier isn't giving me a migraine and I replied so fast with a No although I had a migraine.  Usually I'd drag to respond to his questions and even fake some illnesses just to keep around for longer but not this evening.  I wanted him gone before mom and the kids get here. He walked out and returned in like three seconds and whispered "I just a South-Nigerian kid in the passage with a South African family, mos you know how easy it is to spot them. South African girls are a lost cause" and Disebo ran into the ward and shouted "Mommy "!

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The Painful Past Chapter 41

The Painful Past Chapter 41

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South African girls and Nigerian men.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 41

I was in so much shock that for the first few seconds I forgot to scream. I actually froze untill he said "whats happends tso you now,it is thats your friend Nanas who tsoldz me where tso finds you"...I looked at him like I'm actually starring at a Ghost. I wanted to reply but then my mind was still so shocked that it just told my mouth and voice to scream. I screamed so loud I think I scared the poor guy and he ran out.  His name is yusif, a very kind and caring guy who would never hurt a fly. Although sometimes I think it's just an act because if he was as caring as he acts then he would have told me about his friend being married or maybe he just thought it's none of his business. Dr Thabiso and a female nurse came rushing to my room when they heard me screening,I honestly don't know why I even screamed but I'm glad I did. Dr Thabiso held my hand and asked me to calm down as everything is okay. If a mere scream made him hold my hand then tears will definitely score me a hug.

I started crying hysterically and... Bingo my head was on his chest. BINGO LERATO SOMO bingo!!!it felt so Damn right,I loved it and I wish I'd just relocate there permanently.  He asked the nurse to pour me a glass of water in the jug on the hospital drawer and when she gave it to me I pretended to be shaky and Thabiso helped me take a few gulps. I was winning this guy. After a few gulps I pretended to be calming down and he asked me what happened. I needed to make up a good story that will make him want to be my Chuck Norris fast but before I could even answer he then said "nxla but I know how these Nigerian men operate,they tend to think all South African girls are all the same and they just want to take advantage of them especially in their weakest moments" oh no I thought to my self...He continued "I'm glad you are not one of our naive fellow sisters who gets money hungry that they lose their morals chasing money they don't even know how it was earned and they end up single mothers to children who will never ever know their roots ".

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The Painful Past Chapter 40

The Painful Past Chapter 40

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Crushing on the Doctor.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 40

Oh my word...This is God giving me a second chance in the love game...His name is Thabiso. Perfec! I died and woke up happy,I rose again and my Thabiso the first rose with me in a different life,or maybe this is the after life that everyone keeps talking about. I wanted to get off the bed and thank the Lord for blessing me once again. I don't think I even saw a ring on his finger but even if it was there it wouldn't have changed my intrests in this ever so fine Doctor. My body was still numb and I was still a bit dizzy but I was happy to still be alive. This could be a rebirth of Thabiso the first and my heart was on some joyful trip. When I'm happy I hardly feel hungry and this people who came to visit me came with a lot of food. My mom and Thabiso's mom walked into my ward even after I asked Mr fine Doctor not to let anyone in. Well these two ladies are the most stubborn human beings I know. I sat there listening to them giving me one lecture after another and I wasn't even offended by the offensive things they would say, I was just peaceful place with the imagination and the main character was Dr. Thabiso ofcourse.

A therapist walked in while I was being lectured and told them that visiting hours are over and she needed sometime with the patient.  Her face looks familiar but I couldn't remember where I've seen it. I became more curious when my mother and Thabiso's mother left. We were talking, the therapist and I but she never ever looked into my eyes,not even once. It was like she was hiding her eyes from meeting mine and she was just rushing through the session. She couldn't wait to finish and leave,everything was just done as fast as it could be. Finally she finished and left...age shifted my focus from fantasising about Dr. Thabiso's to wondering snout her. I'm quite a curious being,once I put my mind on something then nothing will shake off my decision.

I decided maybe I needed to forget about her for a while and just think of ways to win Dr. Thabiso's affection. Earlier the nurse gave me pills and said I'd fall asleep in an hour or two and right about now I was feeling the effects.  Heavily sleepy although I tried to keep my eyes open just incase my Dr walks in but I somehow dozed off. I heard a funny voice that sounded like a Nigerian accent whispering my name "Lirado"...I opened my eyes and it was Adeola's best friend. I almost had a heart attack, I was told that he also died in the car accident with Adeola...

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The Painful Past Chapter 39

The Painful Past Chapter 39

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Doctor Thabiso

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 39

There's nothing more painful than losing a baby. Babies are the most precious beings and if it was up to me I swear no parent would have to bury their kids. It's an unbearable pain, I never meant to kill my Sello.  Why didn't God take me and leave him instead?  God can be unfair at times.  I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness from God but I was angry at him for saving me and not my baby.  The Doctor cut my prayer short when he walked into my ward with a very loud "Good Morning". I just opened my eyes and Damn the Doctor is all kind of sexy...tall and muscular, I was just undressing him with my eyes and I felt my cookie getting moist. I just wanted to jump on him and ride him till he had no blood nor more. very sexy,his mom is one artist jerrrr I mean how did she manage to get him looks this fine and the brains too. Good Lord I want him inside me right away damnit.  Who could have known that George Masebe has such handsomes, I could be sick all year and not even worry about getting discharged,  this could be my second home forever,as long as he's my doctor then I'm super fine.

He opened his mouth and he sounded exactly like Barry White mmaweeee I melted. He then said "you are lucky you got here right on time Ms Somo and we are going to send you a therapist twice a day so you can offload all the worries in your heart, we care and we are here to help" lol in my head all I was hearing was a different story, more like "I care and I'm here to give you some". He said you have visitors who will only enter once I'm done in here and I asked him to not let anyone in as I needed to rest plus I'm emotionally drained and won't have the stamina to answer their 50 million questions. He agreed and said "it's a good idea,you need all the rest you can get ". I smiled like I've just won the colgate smile competition and he finished filling my file and said I'll be back at 7pm for my last rounds and I was like "rounds?" With way too much excitement and he looked at me like I'm insane and I quickly said yes round of applause for the great work your are doing Doctor.  He smiled and said oh thanks,you are an easy patient by the way you can call me Thabiso..!

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The Painful Past Chapter 38

The Painful Past Chapter 38

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Death be my guest

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 38

My eye sight was really weak and so was my hearing. I wanted to due just a few minutes ago but now i was terrified and my kids were my biggest worry. I couldn't imagine what I was going to put them through if I died.  I remembered that the good Lord said "count on me even in your weakest moments and I'll be there ". He was my last hope,at this point it was pretty much obvious that death was at my door step. We are used to people saying that "death is am uninvited guest, life crusher" but right now this wasn't an uninvited guest theory death was invited this time.  I didn't think things through, realised that I made the worst mistake of my life and I closed my eyes real tight and asked the Lord to not take my life away and give me one last chance. I was praying even harder for anyone to intervene at this point. I saw my bedroom window opening and it was my little brother.  For the first time in many years I was actually very happy to see him. He asked me what was wrong and I pointed the empty pill plastics next to me and his reply shocked me and I think I even fainted because when I opened my eyes I noticed i was in the hospital and had nurses running up and down using their bombastic words. My brother is a very selfish young man and he doesn't care about anyone or even what tomorrow hold.  Well he's a father already but when I'd give him money to buy things that the baby needs since he's not working he would always use it for his own selfish and reckless things.

The mother of his baby is much younger so she would be too scared to tell us all this so her mother got fed up one time and cane clean.  I gave up on him ever since. I died tears when I lay there on the hospital bed remembering his words when I needed him most. He said "ao you want to commit suicide? It's cool ntja yaka I'll inherit your car after killing your two rats,o vaye sharp poi and thanks for working hard for my future". He has no heart nor emotions in him.  I'm his only sis for crying out loud. A few minutes later the Doctor walked in and I overheard him tell one of the nurses that they couldn't save the baby...Did I kill my baby truing to kill my self???oh No!

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The Painful Past Chapter 37

The Painful Past Chapter 37

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blurry

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 37

I recorded a video for my two beautiful kids. I told them about their dads and also that both their dads are no more and it pains me that now I'm also leaving them but it wasn't by choice. I was forced by unbearable circumstances that's making life hard for me. I told them how hard life has been for me and how much I wish they never turn out to be like me no matter how cruel life gets they must just remain true to themselves.  The room's temperature was now getting higher and higher. It was getting really really hot and I switched off my phone and took off my shirt. For the first time since I fell pregnant with my third child I was actually able to look at my tummy with no disgusts,I told my kids about the baby I'm carrying on the video and how much this baby made my mom hate me.  I noticed that the bump was getting bigger. This means people would have noticed my pregnancy in a couple of weeks from now but I'm glad they will never notice it because my ears will be deaf to their words full of hate and my eyes will be blind from their eyes full of judgements.

I took off my pants,the heat was on steroids,  I felt like I was going to melt any second now. I sat on the floor as I faced the wall and wondered why it's ok for mom to let my little brother live freely while I'm locked in my room. Is she trying to tell me that it's not okay to go to school, finish my studies even though I had a couple of humps in my academic years but at least I came back home with a degree. I was able to buy my self a house and a car. Is giving birth to innocent souls really that bad? Badder than bunking school and stealing from the people that feeds you?  My mom's actions weren't making sense to me at all. Why did she even have to involve Kgomotso's grandparents?  I wasn't married to Thabiso the first mos so what the hell was this all about?

I was getting very angry and annoyed and I decided I'm breaking the door.  I got up so fast and my head was pounding really loud, it was like I was hearing things.  I held my head and went down on my knees,blocked my ears with my hands trying to stop the noise I was hearing.  I looked up and everything was blurry . My eyes were showing me things, I crawled to my bed and lay there facing the ceiling and everything was moving in circles. The weird voices in my head were getting louder and louder. I couldn't feel my feet now,  the inside of my hands had cramps. I tried to call out my mom for help, but I couldn't hear my self although I could feel my mouth moving...

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The Painful Past Chapter 36

The Painful Past Chapter 36

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Pills and straws.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 36

I wanted to leave a note for my girls but the Pen and Paper were nowhere to be found in my room. I must have hated school to even have no treasured pen and exam pad somewhere in the room. I looked for it a little more before giving up and I bumped into my very first photo album ever. I went through it and photos of me and my first love where all over.  I had cut out favourite quotes from magazines and newspapers to match every photo in my album and put the quote next to that particular photo. Although I might have been young but I swear what Thabiso the first and I had  was True Love.  I was feeling the love just by going through the pics, I shed tears because now this made me wonder if I would be going through all these heartache nonsense that I'm going through right now had he lived. I kissed his best pic in a Matopa school uniform and I whispered "I'm coming my love ". Closed the album and starred in the mirror and I didn't like the person i have become.  Not finding an exam pad and pen was saddening because now my kids will never know how much mommy loved them.

How was I ever going to swallow the pills without water? I need water and the only way to get water is if I ask.  I called out for my mom " mommy can I please have a glass of water, I'm dehydrated and nauseas " I listened hoping for a reply but it was dead silent in the house.  I decided to try again with a dramatic request this time "mma weeee hle something could be wrong with the baby,I need water or I might just collapse ". Still no reply so I decided to swallow the  pills without water and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Suddenly I heard a knock on my window and I rushed to look,  I was hoping it's someone who could help free me from this suicidal room and it was my mom with one of those big colourful plastic jug. I opened the window and said mom it won't fit through the burglars and she gave me a straw.  My mom is a fast thinker hle bannnn,strategic woman. She left the jug on what we call venster bank lol excuse me but English isn't my mother tongue.  I took a handful of  pills and put them in my mouth three by three then sipped on the straw till I was done.

I remembered I had a phone and I could use it to record a selfie video for my kids and I started recording....
KGOMOTSO LE DISEBO BA KA...MARATO A PELO YAKA,DINALEDI TJA MARU A KA...THE LIGHTS THAT GET ME OUT OF DARKNESS.....

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The Painful Past Chapter 35

The Painful Past Chapter 35

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I can't go on.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 35

I banged on the door hoping my mom will open up, I screamed and told her "mama I'm breaking the door if you don't let me out". I was scared and angry at the same time, how was I supposed to look  at Thabiso's parents after everything I've done?  I started crying and yelling at my mom. I was hurt that she sold me out so I needed to hurt her with words too. "My little brother should be the one that gets locked up like a dog because he is one but I wonder who he takes after " I yelled but no reply.  I waited a few seconds to hear if she will reply but nex she ignored me and I started wondering if she could  even hear me . I continued and said "I've always known that you are the worst mother in the world and even when I'm a single mother I'm ten times better than the mother that you'll ever be,I don't give birth to bloody thieves ". Suddenly I heard Disebo's cry and my little brother shouted "o tlo nyela Lerato ", he sounded high as fuck and I'm going to be honest with you guys neh? I'm super scared of my little brother when he's high so I decided to zip my mouth before "Nyaope boy" breaks the door then later break my neck. Disebo stopped crying and I called out her name but she didn't reply where else she usually shout back my name whenever I call hers. Okay this was strange, I decided to ignore that and just worry snout how to get the hell out of the room and out of the house.

I started turning things upside down in the room hoping to find something that will get me out of the room, anything would do. I was too much of a girly girl and didn't keep any hard metals in my room so my luck was definitely running out. I needed to get out. I found a comb in my drawer but the sad part is its a plastic comb but I was desperate and right now anything would do. I tried my luck with the comb,fiddling on the locker with it and the bloody comb broke before I could even do e nursing with it. This increased my level of frustration and I kicked the door and screamed so loud. But I was bare footed when I kicked the door and I kicked it pretty hard so that left me in pain.  I jumped on my bed trying to handle the pain like a man. But man, it was too much to man it up. I remembered that as a teen I had a drawer in my room which I kept all kinds of different pills, for all kinds of situations or should I say illness.  I jumped up the bed and went straight to the drawer and HALELUYAH all my pills where there and they look much more than I remembered them.

I took all the meds out and spread them on my bed and I decided I was going to end my miserable life.  But I couldn't leave without saying my final goodbyes to my two angels, Kgomotso and Disebo.  My pregnancy was causing so much hate and too many heartaches in my life so I named my unborn baby right there...I decided I'm not going to end his or her life without a name so I decided if it's a boy I'm naming him Sello and if it's a girl she would have been Dikeledi....

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The Painful Past Chapter 34

The Painful Past Chapter 34

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I hate my little brother

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 34

My little brother was disappearing  into the dust that was following him, I must admit he's pretty fast. Oscar Pistorius has got upserlutely nothing on these guy. That's the thing with village minds they have no dreams nor ambitions,  he could be using the speed of his two left legs to make money but instead he uses them to hurt people who care about him. I don't think he steals from anyone who's not family,  he knows they would either get him arrested or do what my neighbour from westernburg wanted me to do the father of my unborn child. I rushed to the car and my hand bag was gone. The bloody brat must have targeted it. But now he broke my window . If he really card about me as much as mom says he does he would have stolen my car keys not break the Damn window.  These things are expensive and there's no way my insurance is going to pay for it because I hadn't been paying well in the past few months.

I've been so much into booze that I'd withdraw all my salary before debit orders quenched their thirsts. Just like Celia Kunutu I also didn't claim Thabiso the first's RAF money on time. I was also singing "Lehu la gago le ya mphedisha" hymn on my way to the compensation house and I was singing a different tune on my way back. I looked at my mom and she was in tears she kept on saying "this boy is going to be the end of me" I wanted to make her feel less guilty and so I said "don't worry mma Somo it's a cheap bag and it's got less than R50 in it ". She weeped more and said it still doesn't give him the right to steal it Lerato, this boy will die very young if ge doesn't change his ways.  We locked all doors hoping he sleeps outside and maybe he will suffer the consequences of his actions. I was just glad I had my S6 edge whoooo I'd have died if it was in the back, no actually he would have died.

I woke up to my mom looking straight in my eyes in my phone and she said Lira let's talk about your pregnancy now. I've been playing dumb pretending I didn't understand the things I found on your phone because I so much wanted to believe that it was all a dream and what hurt me even more is the fact that you played along to my dumbness and that made me feel small because you insulted my intelligence.  Ohhhh crab kana that's the reason I ran from home in the first place I thought to my self.  Mom please not now I said. She said this time I have your car keys and you are not going anywhere until Kgomotso's grandparents gets here to discuss these matter! I jumped out of the bed and looked at her like "what did you just say?, why would you tell them mom". She banged the door and locked me inside.

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The Painful Past Chapter 33

The Painful Past Chapter 33

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mommy I'm so sorry!

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 33

I looked at my mom and I could see right through her heart. It was breaking and it's all thanks to the diva in me.  Usually we are used to teenagers giving their parents a hard time but in this case it was a grown ass woman doing that to her ageing mother.  You would be surprised because I'm a mother of two my self and the little intruder I'm carrying is going to be my third.  Talking about the baby I'm carrying how do I tell my mom that I'm pregnant again?? This was going to give her a heart attack no doubt.  I can't imagine life without my mom. I moved closer to give her a hug and I wish I could take away the pain. She invited me in and made me a cup of coffee in my all time mug and she smiled a little and said this mug has so many memories, it's literally a part of these family and when you are not home and I get to miss you a little I then drink in it, I giggled and said " no wonder it doesn't keep my coffee hot for long these days, it's being over used ". We took our mugs to the sitting room and watch our favourite soapies lol my mom is the kind of woman who talks to the TV.  She literally thinks the characters are dumb because they never listen to her...

Her phone rang and it was my uncle  from hamanskraal.  He called to let her know that his daughter has a new baby boy. After hanging up she said" Mehlolo gase e felle  ka Bo moshe" my brother is excited about his daughter being a single and unemployed mother of four now. This man has given up on his kids,  one would swear he sends them to get pregnant for the sake of sassa money. Lerato ngwanaka I was shocked when you were pregnant with Kgomotso and when Disebo came I was very angry but I only accepted her because she's an innocent soul and God would punish me for taking out my frustrations on an innocent soul.She jokingly said "if you dare fall pregnant again I swear I'm going to resign from being your mother" . I felt my heart pause a little.  I changed the subject and asked her what's for dinner, I'm super hungry and my little brother whom I don't like very much appeared from nowhere and said ah sesi it's "Lerotho night" in this house. I smiled and said I'd like to have some cause I haven't eaten that in a long time. You probably wondering why I don't like my brother much,right?  Well he's one of those typical rebel kids from the villages.

He drinks and smokes a lot. Since he's not working he has to steal to feed his addiction. He once stole my car radio and acted innocent. He's even stealing stuff from the house.  I once got him arrested for stealing my I
phone and he came back and attacked Disebo like she's the one that got him arrested. While mom and I were still talking we heard my car alarm waking up the neighbourhood and we rushed out to see what was happening and we noticed my brother running like a lunatic....Mom my hand bag is in the car....

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The Painful Past Chapter 32

The Painful Past Chapter 32

  09:06   1 comment:

Mothers are important.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 32

While I was still in shock, lol I couldn't believe that "our mother " got us in such a huge mess,it's a big deal and I don't think she realises it. I could possibly lose my job with such a criminal record and Nanas might never find a job whoooo mess,mess and more mess.  Nanas finally came out of the house smelling fresh and ofcourse looking good as always. She was all smiles and I laughed when I remembered the statue look she pulled at Tinmine.  LOL bo Nanas ke mebereko shame  (Nanas is a piece of work ). She sat next to me and said "don't worry chomi sesi Yvonne will feed and clothe us till we die and it doesn't end there she will take care of our future from now on, I mean with criminal records we might aswell accept that re bo mmalehlwele(unemployed )for the rest of our lives and its all thanks to her. It then turned into joke of the day and we had lots of fun then suddenly it hit me that not so long ago I had two loving mothers and now I have zero mothers.

Seeing how happy Nanas is with her mother hit me hard. I need to make things right with the most important women in my life. I then switched from drinking wine to drinking water because I needed to be sober when apologising . Nanas teased me for my samaratian act lol oh well it was worth it. After detoxing then I decided to pass by Thabiso the first's house and I didn't need to cook up lies this time,  I was going to be totally honest. I got there and as I was about to knock on the door I had little Kgomotso's cute little laugh and this melted my heart.  Kgomotso loved her grandparents with everything in her and if she was to know what I did then I could be the enemy.

I then heard her asking her grand mother where "Lerato " went and her reply pierced through my heart.  She said "Lerato o ile kgole kgole(Lerato has gone very far)and  you will only see her after a very long time,I need you to stop thinking about her for now and try to forget about her my baby". So they now want to keep my baby for themselves? Is this now war?I left and drove straight to my mom's house, I needed her more than ever . It's true when they say that "when elephants fight it's the grass that suffers. My baby girl is going to suffer for things she didn't even do.
I got home and knocked and my mom opened the door. I was in tears and she stood there looking at me but I could see that her heart was breaking...she said "Lerato o nyaka go ntshwarisha stroke? "....

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The Painful Past Chapter 31

The Painful Past Chapter 31

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We found the snitch!

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 31

I thought maybe I wasn't giving the door enough power to open it and tried again but no luck. I felt like the whole world just closed down on me. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be an unwanted soul in this house.  I looked around just to make sure no one saw me and luckily no one did. I waked to the car and drove to Nanas's house to check up on her and I found her family chilling outside  and they looked genuinely happy,  this is where Nanas gets all her happiness. A happy home makes happy children. Her mom whom I call "sis Yvonne the Queen" saw me first and she yelled Lira-Love my baby, this made me very nervous because I didn't know how she would recieve the news I have for her. I felt tears filling up my eyes and I murmured "Dimamzo " . She got up and gave me a hug and suddenly started laughing then said "don't tell me you are still terrified from yesterday's experience "  I felt a sense of relief and I asked her what she meant by that and she gave me a chair and gave me a glass of wine then said "you are going to have to sit down for these " .

"Sit down? Please tell me Nanas is okay please Kea le rapela " i said this with tears rolling down my face. And one of Nanas's Uncles "Malome Eddy " said Relax she's in the house maan,she's taking a young bath. Lol so there's young Naps and young baths whoooo I was relieved just by hearing that. Nanas's mom sat closer to me and said...."I do not have a problem with you guys drinking and having fun,you guys are young and are allowed to live your lives the way you think suits. We as the parents might have given you life but we not going to choose paths for you. We are trusting you with making the right choices in life and allowing you an opportunity to live and make your own mistakes, learn from them and move on" hehehehe I wonder where she's getting at, she then continued and said "you see my angel, Nanas knows I don't want her smoking weed with everything in me, that's just disgusting ". So last night someone called me and told me they saw Nanas at Ga-Pone and she looked too wasted so when I realised that it was almost morning and all tarvens have closed I thought maybe my baby is sleeping in the bushes somewhere. I got up to go look for her when I found you guys smoking weed I got very angry and decided if she won't listen to me then maybe she will listen to the cops...lol what?  No! NO FLIPPEN WAYS!  Did sis Yvonne call the cops on us???

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The Painful Past Chapter 30

The Painful Past Chapter 30

  10:44   No comments:

One lie too many

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 30

You know the feeling you get when your phone almost falls? Yes that mini heart attack that gets you sweating in 0.01 seconds I got that too. I felt my entire body going numb and everything else went blurry. My heart was really pumping fast I could literally hear the speeding heart beats.  I froze and Sir Schoeman pushed me towards Thabiso's parents,  I honestly felt like biting him but I was already in enough trouble so I didn't want to push my luck any further, although I was out of luck. I was embarrassed and scared at the same time,  I knew they were going to start looking at me with a different eye. I couldn't even bring my self to look at them , I was starring on the floor the whole time. Sir Schoeman then said "what are you looking for down there? Are you hoping to find weed down there stagwa?" Tjooooo this is what they mean when they say "Do Not kick a man when he's down " I gave him the evil look but I promise you this guy wasn't at all moved by the look he gave me the voetsek look. I guess he doesn't know that I'm a very educated somebody but oh well I'll spare him my educated thoughts for his tough days.  He is now in my "deal with" list. No buddy messes with Miss Somo Lee-Love and get away,  God forgives and I don't ,like my grand mother always said "tse di sa hlakaneng ke dithaba in this case it's dedicated to this man.

Okay I have a lot on my plate right now,  I need to think and think fast.  Honestly I don't remember all that happened in the police station or the procedures followed my mind was too busy cooking lies . The walk to the car was the longest,  more like the Longest walk to freedom and straight into the interrogation room. I knew mama Thabiso was going to ask endless questions and I was cooking up answers.  We got in the car and she said Boitumelo Manganyi brought your car to the house and she's the one that told us what happened and that's how we ended up here. She gave me my car keys and looked away. The father drove off and it was dead silent all the way from Tin Mine to Makekeng. I was really nervous and embarrassed then it hit me that I don't know where Nanas is. I was so lost in my own world that I forgot about impintji yam'. I took out my phone and it was off , damnit I need to call Nanas or Atleast her mom . We got home and Kgomotso rushed out of the house to give me a hug , her grand mom asked her to go charge her phone for her in the bedroom and they followed her in the house and closed the door.  I thought maybe the wind pushed and  closed it. I walked to the door ready to apologise and BANG the door is locked....

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The Painful Past Chapter 29

The Painful Past Chapter 29

  06:30   2 comments:

Busted!

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 29

We were all stoned and we thought we were hearing things. Untill we saw blue lights and men in uniform all over the place.  Oh my word did this just happen? I looked around and half the people who were there were nowhere to be seen. They fled away without warning us batho lena. Tjo it's true when they say  when days are dark friends are few.  The police man then continued "if any of you try anything funny like running away we will then be forced to shoot" eh shoot? Even a stoned person knows very well what a gun does , it kills. None of us tried anything funny and most of us were dead silent but not Nanas she was laughing so hard and uncontrollably lol this one is a lost case ah. She makes the best out of the worst situations,  she was like now I'm going to add a criminal record to my CV this is too cool and the police man next to us gave her a straight face mara Nanas couldn't care less she just kept on laughing and called out one police man by name , she was like "schoeman take us in sir " lol yoh I too wanted to laugh untill I saw the police man who introduced himself as Mr Moremi slapping Nanas with the most terrifying slap I've ever seen yoh, it looked more painful than being shot and Nanas went silent at once. I think she even got sober same time.

We were then pushed to the vans and we filled all 6 vans. I looked at Nanas looking like she has just seen a ghost and to see her looking like that made me burst into laughter.  Lol a slap is a miracle worker I tell you. Nanas is the kind of girl who can never be shut down not even in the court room she laughs until we are thrown out but not today lol a slap shut it for her. I started laughing I mean I just couldn't help it. The back of a van is the most uncomfortable place ever.  The bumps makes the bums super sore and you feel every road movement. The pot holes and the speed humps just hurts nje. I couldn't wait to get to the police station this was way too much.  A few minutes later the van stopped all I could see from the inside was very bright lights. Then the door opened and the police man outside said welcome to Tin mine Lucky Dube family the Rastafarians this is your new home.  We got off the van and we were flocked to the waiting room like sheeps.  It's a cold place and the smell really isn't pleasant at all. I wonder how people survive in here.

I don't even know how I fell asleep but when I opened my eyes I found Nanas sitting in the exact position I left her in last night yoooo this is bad mos. Then a voice called out for everyone to come out because our families were waiting for us. We all walked out and I wondered who called my mom and how they even got hold of her let along know her and I saw Thabiso the first's parents. I am so BUSTED Damn!

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The Painful Past Chapter 28

The Painful Past Chapter 28

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zolo and jail

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 28

Nanas kept on talking to me like I'm her most favourite person on earth,she spoke to me like I'm her best friend.  I've always had a nose bleeding problem since I was a kid. If I feel too sad or if I'm too happy even stressed then my nose bleed. I've been to several specialists but i never got a cure, I only got treatment. I went to the car to get an ice to put on my head to try and stop the bleeding. I saw a pregnant girl dancing and drinking like crazy. Nanas spotted her from where she was standing and came rushing to the car to tell me about her. She got there and said "eh eh eh ntwana megwanthi ye ga ena timing, who the fuck stays pregnant ka December so." I almost laughed but then I remembered that I'm not at all different. She saw the blood and said ah Ntwana you still have this problem? Nah man e ya basothong coz makgowa a pallwa (Go to a traditional healer because clearly the western ways are failing you). In my head I was responding to her and I wish I could just go there and deal with her once and for all

I smiled and said I think I drank a little too much hence this is happening. If there's one thing I ever liked about Nanas is that gossip is not her thing.  She prefers guys over girls for friendship?  She's more of a tomboy hence at some point she enjoyed the guy world so much that she ended up thinking she's a guy too.  Lol I once bumped into her at Pta when I was working there and she was with some cute looking girl and she introduced the girl as her girlfriend to me . Lol I think she hadn't found the good D yet back then. Lol mara Nanas used to have a huge crush on some very pretty girl known as poli poli from somewhere in Mokamole, I wonder what happened to that.  I came back to my senses and realised that I could be losing a very good friend over the D that's not even mine. Finally my nose stopped bleeding so I looked around to see where Nanas could be and I couldn't find her. She's hard to spot especially when she's drinking akere she blends with everyone.

I spotted smoke coming from a group of people sitting in a circle not far from where I was and I knew they were either smoking zol or hubbly and where there's smoke there's fire so in this case the fire is Nanas. I locked the car and went there,I could do with a pull or two. As I moved closer Nanas's voice was getting louder and louder. Lol I knew she was the center of attraction so I got there and she saw me and said "Ntwana come sit on my lap let's get high" lol I sat on her lap but said no thanks to the ganja,I was chickening out and she forced me untill I took a pull. Well one pull led to many pulls and I was stoned. I liaugh at everything when I'm high. We were having so much fun when we suddenly heard a voice behind us saying "I am captain Moremi and you lot are under arrest for the use of illegal substance ".
SHIT!

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The Painful Past Chapter 27

The Painful Past Chapter 27

  13:14   No comments:

Feeling Betrayed

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 26

Oh my Gosh no flippen ways. When I hit her with the cow dung I didn't realise I was hitting a good friend of mine because I had given the two shaggers my own faces. In my head at that time it was my Thabiso the first and some ugly whore. It was too dark to see their faces so I gave them my own but never in a million years did I ever think it would be my Nanas...I felt anger and hate brewing inside me in the mist of the hug...how dare she? Bo Thabiso ke ba ka and she knows. How could she? This is why she didn't want to tell me what's gotten her grumpy all of a sudden. I decided to tell her about her not so pleasant new scent and she said "come on ntwana we in the bundus here, fresh air is such scents when you are this side " she faked a smile and I faked a laugh.  This is what friendship really mean these days "pretence ". I was angry hey, I just wanted to slap her or even better kill her. She asked if I had a deodorant in my handbag and I grabbed her by the hand dancing the famous wa itjukutja move from lejwaeng pulling her to the crowd and said why would you need such?its just the fresh air from the bundus mos ?come let's go get as dirty as whores.

Well I've been told I'm quite a dancer lol so ne ke di lata bline although with the heaviest heart. Nanas is more of a better dancer than me so she pulled the crowd and danced all kinds of crazies and deep down in my shattered heart I wished she could just trip and fall on her face. Nxla this girl though, I loved her with my all and she goes on and do this to me. Eh eh eh while she's on the crowd pulling grass then appeared this slender looking girl yonnna weeeee the girl is a true majaivane and I think everyone from here is well aware of that. Everyone was shouting her name and I saw Nanas stepping back looking a little disappointed ,and in my heart I was like "beat that" bitch Hahahaha.

She then handed the dance floor or should I say dance grass?  Well either way she then gave the girl the stage and came where I was and said that's Mokgele Mashita the crowd puller just as good as some guy called Dan-Dan wa Ko lejwaeng ahhhh bona those two would dance the night away when the Lesodi Lounge was still very popular and their song was marry me by Dj call me. I didn't say anything I just pretended I didn't hear a word she said, why the fuck was she even telling me all this? Nxla she must tell this to someone who gives a rat ass. Ok, I couldn't hold it within me because years before Thabiso passed away it was rumoured that Nanas and Thabiso are humping each other behind my back. I chose to ignore that because she didn't strike me as anyone who would do that to a friend and they had a sister and brother kinda relationship. But honestly I was questioning her loyalty. Could she have been fooling me all this years?  Is she capable of being a sneaky boyfriend snatcher?

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The Painful Past Chapter 26

The Painful Past Chapter 26

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Messed with the wrong girl

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 26

As much as God took my Thabiso just as I was getting to know him better, the least he can do is give me all the Thabisos of this world, I'm a loyal child of God. You should have seen the look on those two's faces when I shouted Sferb. Lol priceless i must admit and it wasn't the faces of terrified people. If it was me I'd have been scared out of my own skin shemmmmm.  This two were angry lol I think I caught them when they were just about to hit the roof, if you know what I'm saying lol I almost cracked with laughter but the girl looked like she was about to skin me alive. Yo nna what did I do? She was on top of the guy when I interrupted and Lord have mercy u'girl was soaking in her own sweat ahhhh she must have showed him half heaven because I interrupted before they could enter the heaven's gate. She got up and looked on the ground using her phone's torch and I knew right there that shit was about to hit the fan .I had to get ready and I started looking for stones,empty bottles or whatever weapon I could use in my defense.  I could only find dry cow dung and there was no time for hygiene mo Kea botopa boloko bo (I'm picking up the cow dung). As I was ready to unleash my ratchet hood rat within me, I then realised that the girl was looking for her panty.

Ah so I got my hand dirty for nothing?  No I refuse shame, I decided since I'm ready for war then I'm going to make it happen anyway, I threw the kaak at her and it hit her but it was dark so I couldn't see where it hit her. I then decided to vanish, hit and run kind of thing. I ran back to the crowd and started dancing like nothing happened,  I didn't even get a chance with my Thabiso but I've made a promise to find him I also want to mourn like that girl iyo ntho tse monate. Suddenly Nanas appeared and she took my Heineken and downed it at once. She looked very furious and I asked her what was wrong and she said I don't want to talk and I kept it pushing and she said it's nothing really someone stole my tissue. Awww really girl? Tissue?  Lol ayi I continued dancing but I was on the look our for any angry looking couple haaaa I'm not sure if they saw my face but I didn't get to see theirs. Nanas was sitting down no longer dancing and she looked grumpy so I went to her and twerked like I'm being paid and she laughed a little and said I see you learned from the best mfanaka. I was happy to see her smile again so I gave her a tight hug and I could smell cow dung on her...

Oh my Gosh no flippen ways. When I hit her with the cow dung I didn't realise I was hitting a good friend of mine because I had given the two shaggers my own faces. In my head at that time it was my Thabiso the first and some ugly whore. It was too dark to see their faces so I gave them my own but never in a million years did I ever think it would be my Nanas...I felt anger and hate brewing inside me in the mist of the hug...how dare she? Bo Thabiso ke ba ka and she knows...

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The Painful Past Chapter 25

The Painful Past Chapter 25

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Mingle with the coolest

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 25

The place was crawling with people in no time. It was packed and refreshing,  my perfect escape goat from all the stress and hurt. Everyone was indeed having a great time
A lot of people's presence there actually shocked Nanas aswell, what I love about us black people is that gate crushing or uninvited guests are just fancy western names they mean zero to us. If you invite 10 people to a party then you must cater for 60 people nje. I was following Mashadi while she introduced me to people I didn't know but apparently knew Thabiso the first. She introduced me to a group of brown skin beautiful girls who looks almost the same and she said this are the Mooka sisters and Mpho was Thabiso's classmate and I silently said God thank you for taking my Thabiso lol this girl looks all kinds of fine I tell you, toned body and brown delicious skin yoh she dresses dope too the classy looking kinds aowa stena fela mo. We moved on to meet more people and she showed me some tall light skinned girl who was dressed to kill, her body neh? Ahhh chill please. Nanas went to her and hugged as we left she said that it's shocking that she's here,her name is Kholofelo Ralebipi and she never parties. Ahhhh this street bash is bringing out the coolest beings I say, she said this as she pointed at another chocolate skin girl,best believe when they say big girls are pretty too, Nkele Ledwaba halala flawless skin jerrrr I want that skin too.

Mokamole people are beautiful and successful kera the youth, when I came here the very first time I had the idea that the people here are drunkards and the girls give birth like they have to board on a plane to get to the clinic to get what we at Mapela call "life without kids " contraceptive methods that is. Hai what am i saying?  I'm the baby carrying machine here mos nxla. I have been drinking without peeing so now I was pressed .Nanas wouldn't listen so I noticed some girl sitting alone near and I decided I'm going to ask her to escort me to empty my bladder . Quiet looking girl she introduced her self as Seka Kekae just as I was about to ask her to escort me to the bushes a group of girls came rushing and dancing making all the right sounds of fun and I slowly dissapeard.  I wanted to go alone but no can do I don't know the spookie stories around here so I'm not going to take the risk. I had to look for Nanas and I had made up my mind that when I find her I'm dragging her to the bushes or else I'm going to pee on my self.

Nanas was nowhere to be found and I really needed to go now,  I was a little drunk so I braved my way to the bushes not far from the  school fence I relieved my self there and as I was about to walk back I heard weird moarning and groaning sounds lol people are getting laid in such surroundings?  Lol where are the snakes when we need them. It was getting louder and louder and I was getting event more curious so I tiptoed to take a closer look and the girl was sure getting some serious satisfaction and I heard her scream in a sexy way THABISO!!! What??? Doesn't this whore know that anyone by that name has a Lerato sticker in their pants? oh hell no I rushed to them and shouted yeeeh wena Sferb....

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The Painful Past Chapter 24

The Painful Past Chapter 24

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Mokamole street bash?

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 24

Sadly by the time I got there it was chaile time. I was still in a drinking spree and for them to want to close right in my face was heart breaking. Nanas said Ntwana worry not tomorrow is still another day or we could continue the fun somewhere else and I begged her to continue it somewhere else and she said drive to Lesodi clinic Bafanas and I'll organise my people. She got on the phone all the way from skilpad till our destination and she said park right here. I looked at her like she's insane?well that's because I was sober and she was drunk so to me this was high class madness. I had to ask though, haibo girlfriend right on the street?  Yes she said...This is everything fun,see we going to use the clinic's big light to our own advantage ,this is just why we going to continue the fun right on the street next to the clinic. She continued talking crazy and said every tarven closes at 2am here and in most cases when they close you find that people still want to have fun plus their coolers are still full so I organised my people they will find us here and we will have what we call Mokamole's first ever street bash.

Lol this one is crazy as we were still talking about how that is going to work then I saw car lights heading our way it's a Gti and she got out of the car and shouted pump the music loudest Kolobe next thing the guys stopped and there was about 3 guys in there she greeted them with her crazy dance moves calling them by names. Ekse Matshedi, sure Tito,hola hola Walter. Hehehehe this girl, they took out their cooler and camp chairs. Then came a series of lights and to my suprise she was able to tell that those are Mazda3 lights before they even got to us. She jumped up and said my homies mfana ke Bo Nkia Matlala le Bo Sean Mosehla bosso lol this girl mara,  the cars joined us and now cars where arriving from all directions. I was drinking Heineken and I could tell this was going to be an epic night already.

That time Nanas was being a very good host...she was welcoming everyone bo George Mlambo, Lucas Motshegoa, Tumelo sparx,  Sam Maifala,  Mina Setumo, Khutso Mizo, Charlin Setsiba , bona the place was packed with the coolest people and next thing I noticed a crowd puller yooooo some slender looking girl who pulled the crowd with the finest moves aaaah lena batho ba bina I tell you. As i was still amazed Nanas  pulled my hand and said let me introduce you to more people and her little sister Sharon laughed and said this is just the beginning of bigger and better in Mokamole, she's pretty this girl. I followed Mashadi to meet more cool people, this place was crawling with the coolest people and this made me feel cool too for a moment I forgot about my worries...

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The Painful Past Chapter 23

The Painful Past Chapter 23

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The need to get sloshe

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 23

My mom is one tough cookie.shes bitter sweet,she's just the kind you don't want to mess with. You know those mothers who calls their children hectic names when they are angry and then blame you for forcing them to label you?  Yeah that's my mom. When I fell pregnant with kgomotso she called me lekgosha  (prostitute ) and with Disebo she said I have no hobby in life so I take unsafe sex as a hobby. I tossed and turned through out the night wondering if I'm ready for her harsh words the next day. I'm the type that talks back and that puts a serious strain on our relationship for months.

I'm gonna need her if this thing I'm carrying doesn't die.  My mom is good with babies and she's such a big help but I wasn't ready for her drama and insults so I sneaked out of the house as quite as a mouse. But to my suprise I found her in the lounge. DAMNIT!!! Mos I thought she went to bed when I realised that all lights were off in the house. Why is this Vernom spitting human being sitting in the dark when I'm trying to spare her the trouble of being disrespected. She looked at me with eyes full of tears and asked me if I'm going to get laid. My word how could she? The thing with having a baby as a teenager and being a single mother people automatically assume you are a whore. I think they choose to overlook all the possible circumstances leading to single motherhood without associating it with bofebe nation (whoring). I was very mad at her for thinking so little of me even when she knew everything I've been through. I didn't want to exchange words of hate with her so I just left the house and drove to Mokamole. The place just calms me down and it forever makes me feel like I'm closer to the original Thabiso.

How could my mom say such words?  I understand she's disappointed but she's not perfect either. I decided I'll be spending the night at Nanas's place but I needed to be discreet so that Kgomotso's grand parents won't know I'm around.  I don't get to be my self around them nor go out as I please when I'm at their house. I needed a drinking spree so I called Nanas and she told me she's at skilpad Ga-Pone with her friends. She sounded sloshed so I asked who the friends are and she said Kolobe Rakgotho and many more. Sure mo girl I'm on my way there right now I need as many drinks as possible i said. She laughed and said but there's about three Thabisos here girl, so im going to need you to behave akere .lol I felt my heart rejoicing and I stepped hard on the accelerator passing the Mokamole bridge...three Thabiso's?  Starter, main and Desert...THIS COULD BE MY LUCKY NIGHT!

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