Mzansi Stories : The Painful Past
Showing posts with label The Painful Past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Painful Past. Show all posts

Friday, January 8

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 42

hard place and a rock.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 41

His words kept on playing over and over in my head. I like this guy so much and already I'm a turn off to him. What happened to my God?why is he not seeing me through this one?he said he will not leave nor forsake me but right now I feel forsaken.  I needed to think on my feet. Do I come clean or just continue painting the picture that I think he wants to see me through? The hard thing about having to pretend to be something you are not is that you end up forgetting who you truly are and that turns the people who know the real you away.

How am I going to hide Disebo when she's an obvious copy of Nigerians.  I don't know who else noticed but I have noticed that Nigerians have big square head that's flat at the back and sometimes they have some type of flat forehead.  My daughter has the squarepan head and yes its flat at the back,she has the Nigerian teeth too. Lol okay maybe I'm just exaggerating but if you know Nigerians then you'll tell just by looking at her that she's my sister from "anada mada".

Mom said she was going to bring the kids to come visit me later. What if the yummy Doctor will be here and he gets to notice that I'm one of tge 3/5 girls I'm South Africa that have Nigerian bambinos. Father Lord save me please . I don't want to lose Dr Thabiso before I could even have him and then again I don't want to lie about my baby. Dr Thabiso walked in just as I was lost in my thoughts and asked me if the injection he gave me earlier isn't giving me a migraine and I replied so fast with a No although I had a migraine.  Usually I'd drag to respond to his questions and even fake some illnesses just to keep around for longer but not this evening.  I wanted him gone before mom and the kids get here. He walked out and returned in like three seconds and whispered "I just a South-Nigerian kid in the passage with a South African family, mos you know how easy it is to spot them. South African girls are a lost cause" and Disebo ran into the ward and shouted "Mommy "!

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Wednesday, January 6

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 41

South African girls and Nigerian men.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 41

I was in so much shock that for the first few seconds I forgot to scream. I actually froze untill he said "whats happends tso you now,it is thats your friend Nanas who tsoldz me where tso finds you"...I looked at him like I'm actually starring at a Ghost. I wanted to reply but then my mind was still so shocked that it just told my mouth and voice to scream. I screamed so loud I think I scared the poor guy and he ran out.  His name is yusif, a very kind and caring guy who would never hurt a fly. Although sometimes I think it's just an act because if he was as caring as he acts then he would have told me about his friend being married or maybe he just thought it's none of his business. Dr Thabiso and a female nurse came rushing to my room when they heard me screening,I honestly don't know why I even screamed but I'm glad I did. Dr Thabiso held my hand and asked me to calm down as everything is okay. If a mere scream made him hold my hand then tears will definitely score me a hug.

I started crying hysterically and... Bingo my head was on his chest. BINGO LERATO SOMO bingo!!!it felt so Damn right,I loved it and I wish I'd just relocate there permanently.  He asked the nurse to pour me a glass of water in the jug on the hospital drawer and when she gave it to me I pretended to be shaky and Thabiso helped me take a few gulps. I was winning this guy. After a few gulps I pretended to be calming down and he asked me what happened. I needed to make up a good story that will make him want to be my Chuck Norris fast but before I could even answer he then said "nxla but I know how these Nigerian men operate,they tend to think all South African girls are all the same and they just want to take advantage of them especially in their weakest moments" oh no I thought to my self...He continued "I'm glad you are not one of our naive fellow sisters who gets money hungry that they lose their morals chasing money they don't even know how it was earned and they end up single mothers to children who will never ever know their roots ".

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Tuesday, January 5

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 40

Crushing on the Doctor.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 40

Oh my word...This is God giving me a second chance in the love game...His name is Thabiso. Perfec! I died and woke up happy,I rose again and my Thabiso the first rose with me in a different life,or maybe this is the after life that everyone keeps talking about. I wanted to get off the bed and thank the Lord for blessing me once again. I don't think I even saw a ring on his finger but even if it was there it wouldn't have changed my intrests in this ever so fine Doctor. My body was still numb and I was still a bit dizzy but I was happy to still be alive. This could be a rebirth of Thabiso the first and my heart was on some joyful trip. When I'm happy I hardly feel hungry and this people who came to visit me came with a lot of food. My mom and Thabiso's mom walked into my ward even after I asked Mr fine Doctor not to let anyone in. Well these two ladies are the most stubborn human beings I know. I sat there listening to them giving me one lecture after another and I wasn't even offended by the offensive things they would say, I was just peaceful place with the imagination and the main character was Dr. Thabiso ofcourse.

A therapist walked in while I was being lectured and told them that visiting hours are over and she needed sometime with the patient.  Her face looks familiar but I couldn't remember where I've seen it. I became more curious when my mother and Thabiso's mother left. We were talking, the therapist and I but she never ever looked into my eyes,not even once. It was like she was hiding her eyes from meeting mine and she was just rushing through the session. She couldn't wait to finish and leave,everything was just done as fast as it could be. Finally she finished and left...age shifted my focus from fantasising about Dr. Thabiso's to wondering snout her. I'm quite a curious being,once I put my mind on something then nothing will shake off my decision.

I decided maybe I needed to forget about her for a while and just think of ways to win Dr. Thabiso's affection. Earlier the nurse gave me pills and said I'd fall asleep in an hour or two and right about now I was feeling the effects.  Heavily sleepy although I tried to keep my eyes open just incase my Dr walks in but I somehow dozed off. I heard a funny voice that sounded like a Nigerian accent whispering my name "Lirado"...I opened my eyes and it was Adeola's best friend. I almost had a heart attack, I was told that he also died in the car accident with Adeola...

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Monday, January 4

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 39

Doctor Thabiso

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 39

There's nothing more painful than losing a baby. Babies are the most precious beings and if it was up to me I swear no parent would have to bury their kids. It's an unbearable pain, I never meant to kill my Sello.  Why didn't God take me and leave him instead?  God can be unfair at times.  I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness from God but I was angry at him for saving me and not my baby.  The Doctor cut my prayer short when he walked into my ward with a very loud "Good Morning". I just opened my eyes and Damn the Doctor is all kind of sexy...tall and muscular, I was just undressing him with my eyes and I felt my cookie getting moist. I just wanted to jump on him and ride him till he had no blood nor more. very sexy,his mom is one artist jerrrr I mean how did she manage to get him looks this fine and the brains too. Good Lord I want him inside me right away damnit.  Who could have known that George Masebe has such handsomes, I could be sick all year and not even worry about getting discharged,  this could be my second home forever,as long as he's my doctor then I'm super fine.

He opened his mouth and he sounded exactly like Barry White mmaweeee I melted. He then said "you are lucky you got here right on time Ms Somo and we are going to send you a therapist twice a day so you can offload all the worries in your heart, we care and we are here to help" lol in my head all I was hearing was a different story, more like "I care and I'm here to give you some". He said you have visitors who will only enter once I'm done in here and I asked him to not let anyone in as I needed to rest plus I'm emotionally drained and won't have the stamina to answer their 50 million questions. He agreed and said "it's a good idea,you need all the rest you can get ". I smiled like I've just won the colgate smile competition and he finished filling my file and said I'll be back at 7pm for my last rounds and I was like "rounds?" With way too much excitement and he looked at me like I'm insane and I quickly said yes round of applause for the great work your are doing Doctor.  He smiled and said oh thanks,you are an easy patient by the way you can call me Thabiso..!

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Sunday, January 3

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 38

Death be my guest

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 38

My eye sight was really weak and so was my hearing. I wanted to due just a few minutes ago but now i was terrified and my kids were my biggest worry. I couldn't imagine what I was going to put them through if I died.  I remembered that the good Lord said "count on me even in your weakest moments and I'll be there ". He was my last hope,at this point it was pretty much obvious that death was at my door step. We are used to people saying that "death is am uninvited guest, life crusher" but right now this wasn't an uninvited guest theory death was invited this time.  I didn't think things through, realised that I made the worst mistake of my life and I closed my eyes real tight and asked the Lord to not take my life away and give me one last chance. I was praying even harder for anyone to intervene at this point. I saw my bedroom window opening and it was my little brother.  For the first time in many years I was actually very happy to see him. He asked me what was wrong and I pointed the empty pill plastics next to me and his reply shocked me and I think I even fainted because when I opened my eyes I noticed i was in the hospital and had nurses running up and down using their bombastic words. My brother is a very selfish young man and he doesn't care about anyone or even what tomorrow hold.  Well he's a father already but when I'd give him money to buy things that the baby needs since he's not working he would always use it for his own selfish and reckless things.

The mother of his baby is much younger so she would be too scared to tell us all this so her mother got fed up one time and cane clean.  I gave up on him ever since. I died tears when I lay there on the hospital bed remembering his words when I needed him most. He said "ao you want to commit suicide? It's cool ntja yaka I'll inherit your car after killing your two rats,o vaye sharp poi and thanks for working hard for my future". He has no heart nor emotions in him.  I'm his only sis for crying out loud. A few minutes later the Doctor walked in and I overheard him tell one of the nurses that they couldn't save the baby...Did I kill my baby truing to kill my self???oh No!

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Sunday, December 20

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 37

blurry

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 37

I recorded a video for my two beautiful kids. I told them about their dads and also that both their dads are no more and it pains me that now I'm also leaving them but it wasn't by choice. I was forced by unbearable circumstances that's making life hard for me. I told them how hard life has been for me and how much I wish they never turn out to be like me no matter how cruel life gets they must just remain true to themselves.  The room's temperature was now getting higher and higher. It was getting really really hot and I switched off my phone and took off my shirt. For the first time since I fell pregnant with my third child I was actually able to look at my tummy with no disgusts,I told my kids about the baby I'm carrying on the video and how much this baby made my mom hate me.  I noticed that the bump was getting bigger. This means people would have noticed my pregnancy in a couple of weeks from now but I'm glad they will never notice it because my ears will be deaf to their words full of hate and my eyes will be blind from their eyes full of judgements.

I took off my pants,the heat was on steroids,  I felt like I was going to melt any second now. I sat on the floor as I faced the wall and wondered why it's ok for mom to let my little brother live freely while I'm locked in my room. Is she trying to tell me that it's not okay to go to school, finish my studies even though I had a couple of humps in my academic years but at least I came back home with a degree. I was able to buy my self a house and a car. Is giving birth to innocent souls really that bad? Badder than bunking school and stealing from the people that feeds you?  My mom's actions weren't making sense to me at all. Why did she even have to involve Kgomotso's grandparents?  I wasn't married to Thabiso the first mos so what the hell was this all about?

I was getting very angry and annoyed and I decided I'm breaking the door.  I got up so fast and my head was pounding really loud, it was like I was hearing things.  I held my head and went down on my knees,blocked my ears with my hands trying to stop the noise I was hearing.  I looked up and everything was blurry . My eyes were showing me things, I crawled to my bed and lay there facing the ceiling and everything was moving in circles. The weird voices in my head were getting louder and louder. I couldn't feel my feet now,  the inside of my hands had cramps. I tried to call out my mom for help, but I couldn't hear my self although I could feel my mouth moving...

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Saturday, December 19

Wizzy

The Painful Past Chapter 36

Pills and straws.

Pain changed Lerato

Chapter 36

I wanted to leave a note for my girls but the Pen and Paper were nowhere to be found in my room. I must have hated school to even have no treasured pen and exam pad somewhere in the room. I looked for it a little more before giving up and I bumped into my very first photo album ever. I went through it and photos of me and my first love where all over.  I had cut out favourite quotes from magazines and newspapers to match every photo in my album and put the quote next to that particular photo. Although I might have been young but I swear what Thabiso the first and I had  was True Love.  I was feeling the love just by going through the pics, I shed tears because now this made me wonder if I would be going through all these heartache nonsense that I'm going through right now had he lived. I kissed his best pic in a Matopa school uniform and I whispered "I'm coming my love ". Closed the album and starred in the mirror and I didn't like the person i have become.  Not finding an exam pad and pen was saddening because now my kids will never know how much mommy loved them.

How was I ever going to swallow the pills without water? I need water and the only way to get water is if I ask.  I called out for my mom " mommy can I please have a glass of water, I'm dehydrated and nauseas " I listened hoping for a reply but it was dead silent in the house.  I decided to try again with a dramatic request this time "mma weeee hle something could be wrong with the baby,I need water or I might just collapse ". Still no reply so I decided to swallow the  pills without water and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Suddenly I heard a knock on my window and I rushed to look,  I was hoping it's someone who could help free me from this suicidal room and it was my mom with one of those big colourful plastic jug. I opened the window and said mom it won't fit through the burglars and she gave me a straw.  My mom is a fast thinker hle bannnn,strategic woman. She left the jug on what we call venster bank lol excuse me but English isn't my mother tongue.  I took a handful of  pills and put them in my mouth three by three then sipped on the straw till I was done.

I remembered I had a phone and I could use it to record a selfie video for my kids and I started recording....
KGOMOTSO LE DISEBO BA KA...MARATO A PELO YAKA,DINALEDI TJA MARU A KA...THE LIGHTS THAT GET ME OUT OF DARKNESS.....
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